How to get rid of pride. How to get rid of pride, arrogance, vanity and self-abasement

Modern man is constantly inspired that he must be the first, the best, that it is shameful to be a loser who has not achieved anything in life. Worldly pride attracts people to go over the corpses of their neighbors, to push everyone with their elbows, to achieve a leading position. This passion is especially cultivated in the world today. It is she who, spurring on the achievement of pleasures, will lead to the multiplication of iniquities, because of which love among the people living on earth will become impoverished.

Pride - pThe first sign is to measure the other with your measure.

Why do we express dissatisfaction with others? Why do we get annoyed with them, angry? There are several reasons for this. First, we measure the other person with our standard. When we are healthy, when our heart beats evenly, when our blood pressure is normal, when both eyes see and both knees bend, we cannot understand another person who feels bad. Our character is even, and that person is a choleric, or vice versa - he is calmer and more pragmatic than we are.

The “I” that reigns in our heart makes us look at other people through the prism of our own physical, mental and spiritual properties, and we unwittingly consider ourselves a stencil, a model for others. From this, a storm begins in the soul: I do, but he does not; I do not get tired, but he complains that he is tired; I sleep five hours, and, you see, eight hours is not enough for him; I work tirelessly, and he shirks and goes to bed early. This is what characterizes a proud person; it is the proud one who says, “Why do I do this and he doesn’t? Why do I do it and he doesn't? Why can I and he can't?

But the Lord created all people different. Each of us has our own life, our own life path, our own life situations. The well-fed does not understand the hungry, the healthy will never understand the sick. A person who has not gone through troubles and temptations will not understand the mourner. A happy father will not understand an orphan who has lost his child. The newlywed will not understand the divorced. A person whose parents are alive will not understand someone who has just buried his mother. You can theorize, but there is a practice of life. We often do not have life experience, and when we begin to gain it, we remember those whom we condemned, with whom we were strict, and we begin to understand that at that moment we were like empty shells. We did not understand how this man felt. They tried to edify him, but he had no time for remarks. His hands dropped from grief, his soul grieved, he did not need moralizing and high-flown words. All he needed at that moment was sympathy, compassion and comfort, but we did not understand this. And when the Lord takes us through the same thing, we begin to feel what the other person felt.

Here is one of the signs of pride - we measure other people with our own yardstick. When we do this, it shows that we do not have generosity. And all you need is to try not to condemn the other person, not to get annoyed, but to accept him as he is, and try to let him into your heart. But it is difficult.

Pride is inthe second sign is “self-”

To fight pride, I can give you a wonderful prayer that helps your own “I” to sink to the bottom of your heart, to drown in sympathy for another. Here is this prayer: "Lord, teach me not to be understood, but that I understand others."
You complain: “My wife doesn’t understand me, my children don’t understand, they don’t appreciate me at work, no one hears me.” Do you hear? Here it is, our "I", "me", "me" - here it comes out of the soul.
This prefix “self-” is the second sign of pride: self-gratification, self-pity, pride, self-will.

With this prefix begins the action in a person of pride. I am proud and value myself: “Others rarely go to church and pray weakly, not like me, a respectable Christian. I am full of self-pity, and therefore I do not get up for prayer - I am tired. I do not want to help my neighbor, because I myself am poor, unhappy, I feel so sorry for myself. Everything hurts me, I recently got sick, why should I go to church? I need to lie down and recover, let others, fools, drag themselves to the temple in the frost and bow there, since they don’t understand what serious illnesses they will suffer later, and do not spare themselves. Here it is, the second hypostasis of human pride.

Pride - the third sign - self-will

In addition to “self-” there is also “own-”: self-will, self-will. A proud person manifests himself by not obeying his superiors, not fulfilling the blessing of his spiritual father, but by acting self-made and self-willed. This is especially true for new beginning Christians. “I will do as I see fit, as I want. As I see it, not the way they teach me, not the way the instructions at work prescribe, not the way the boss says. Maybe he's a fool, he doesn't understand anything. And I'm smart, I understand. I have been working here for a long time, and he was sent from another city ... "

The proud one does not want to learn from the Church, from a confessor, from elders, from experienced and experienced people: “I will break through the wall with my head and invent a bicycle, but I will not go to someone who has been married for twenty years, who has been working for this production, who has been singing in the kliros for a long time. I will be on my own, according to my own mind, according to books! This is the sign of a proud person. He does not consult, he does not ask for help, he does not try to understand what, why and where is happening.

Our willfulness is the source of our troubles

When I receive people in the temple who come with their troubles and sorrows, I ask everyone: “What is your question?” And they often answer me: “I want ... I want this ... I want this ... I think so ... Why does everyone do this if I want another? ..”.

“I want” sounds from the lips of many who come to the temple with their broken lives; it is heard at every step. This is precisely the problem, the cause that led to the mournful consequences. A person does not ask the question: “Lord, what do you want from me? Where should I direct my path? How can I build my life according to Your will? Instead, he says, “I want to have a good job. I want to have a good family. I want to have obedient children. I want to find a direction of life that is profitable for me. I want…"

I say in response to such a “I want”: “Until you break yourself, until you expel the evil “yashka” from your soul, which puts your own “I” above all else, there will be no place for God in your soul, your life will not get better, you won't be able to do anything. You will not see a light in the darkness in which you are with your sorrows and worries, because your life problems are generated by your own “box”, your self-will, self-love, your not seeking the will of God, but the fulfillment of your will.

Consumer attitude towards God, the Church and people is the fourth sign of pride
People come to church and ask indignantly: “Why don’t they like me here?” You often hear this from newcomers. They are still infected with all the passions, they do not yet understand anything in church life, they have just crossed the threshold of the church. The first question they ask is: “We visited the Protestants and saw love there. But here, in the Orthodox Church, they do not like us. Why is that?" They demand: "Give us love, give us joy, give us that lightness and liveliness, like the Protestants!" Everything is very simple there: “Raise your hands!”. Raised - and that's it, you're saved. Here's your lentil soup, here's two kilos of pasta. Hallelujah! You are saved, go, see you tomorrow, brother, see you tomorrow, sister, the Kingdom of Heaven is waiting for you, God loves you!

And we are completely different. In an Orthodox church, you need to pray. Fasting, standing at long services, concentrating on prayer, forcing and limiting yourself, there are no broad smiles, clapping on the shoulders and deliberate hugs. We have everything strictly, decorously and restrainedly. And people demand: “Where is the love? I came to church for love, but where is she here? She's not here! Give me love!"

This is another sign of pride - a consumer attitude towards God, the church and the people around. "Let me! Why don't you give me? Where is Love?" - when we hear these words, it means that a person is infected with pride and has not yet been reborn.
And the ancient prayer says: “Lord, teach me not to be loved, but I loved others. Not to be consoled, but I consoled. Not to be understood, but I learned to understand others. See what's the difference? Don't give "me", but so that I learn to give! To the extent that a person succeeds in this, to the extent that he establishes his steps on this path, to that extent one can speak of his spiritual rebirth.But we all the time “yak”, and all: “Give me, give me! Here I am, here I am!"

Resentment is the fifth sign of pride

Resentment refers both to the irritable and angry passion, and to the very passion of pride. What is resentment? It is sadness and bitterness because it hurts my heart.
Resentment is causal and causeless. Unreasonable resentment refers to the passion of despondency. A causal offense is when another person hurts me, and the question arises: “Why are they doing this to me? Why are they doing this to me?" As soon as this “why” addressed to God and “why” addressed to people crawls out of the soul, it is immediately clear that a person is infected with pride.

What will a spiritual person who is offended say? “Lord, I accept according to my sins. Remember me, Lord, in Your kingdom. Thank You, Lord, for not scolding me and offending me even more. Perhaps, Lord, I once offended someone and this offense returned to me. Or maybe the nest of anger and resentment has not become empty in me, which means that I can potentially offend someone, and You vaccinate me, let people hurt me so that I myself would not hurt another person. Such a Christian does not have the word "why", he understands: once hurt, then it is necessary. Saint Isaac the Syrian tells us: “If you, a Christian, have not learned to overcome insults, have not learned to see the healing hand of the Lord behind every insult, then you have not understood that the Lord heals your soul.” And if you do not accept the healing hand of the Lord, take offense and do not overcome your offenses, then the path of spiritual growth is closed to you. You don't grow as a Christian, you remain the same sinner you were, with a wounded, festering, unhealed soul. Because behind any offense is the hand of the Lord, which heals the abscesses of our soul and shows where we were wrong.In the offenses caused to us, we can comprehend the Providence of God and draw the appropriate conclusions.

The sixth sign of pride is truth-seeking

Here, at the lectern, during confession, I often hear complaints and grievances. The question always comes up: why? Why did they treat me like this? Don't I go to church? Didn’t I feed my children, didn’t give them water, didn’t raise them alone, without a husband? Why do they treat me like this, insult me? I have worked in manufacturing for twenty years. Why do I get kicked out, fired, and those who have connections and acquaintances stay at work and pay? Why are they so unfair to me? Here it is, a manifestation of pride - truth-seeking. This is another sign of a proud person.

Such people think that they are doing a good deed, they are looking for the truth. But they are not looking for the truth. They want earthly, human truth, but they are not looking for God's truth. But there is no truth on earth, my dears! How many times can you repeat this? Truth is only with God. “I have advice and truth; I am understanding, I have strength” (Prov. 8:14), says the Lord. “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways,” says the Lord. But as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).The Lord tells us that this world lies in evil, that this world is a kingdom of lies and evil. So is it really not clear who rules this world?

God creates His righteousness, by acting on which Christians can be saved. And by engaging in false truth-seeking – I emphasize: false truth-seeking – and the search for false human justice, they become Pharisees, Sadducees. They go to church, pray, outwardly fulfill the commandments of God, but their inner man is so deeply smitten, so separated from God and so un-Christian, that it becomes frightening. The substitution of a callous man for earthly truth and justice by a Christian is a terrible phenomenon for the Church, it is an ulcer, a rust that corrodes it.
How would a believer say? “Lord, let Thy will be done for everything. Thank you for everything. For I firmly believe that to those who love You and believe in You, and trust You, and trust in You, everything in this life works together for good. You say that you care about my life, and I entrust my whole life and my soul into Your hands. This is the attitude of a believer. Thus he goes to God and overcomes the proud movements of the soul.

The seventh sign of pride is self-justification

What is self justification? This is one of the manifestations of pride: a person wants to defend his own rightness; or wants to be thought better than he is; or at least thought exactly what he really is. When a person is offended or said something that he does not like, his pride is hurt. And at this very moment self-justification imperceptibly comes into force. It affects everyone, from children to people of the highest rank.

Let us look closely at the essence of self-justification. Here the husband turns to his wife, makes her a fair remark that her children are not fed or the apartment is not cleaned. What does he hear in response? “And look at yourself! What are you like, do you bring home a lot of money? And in general, where do you put your shoes when you come home, and what do you turn your socks or pants into? This is where the husband's denunciation ends. And then he will say something, and again he will receive a similar response from his wife. Or the mother tries to persuade the child: “Why did you behave so badly at school, offended the children, quarreled with them? And look at your diary, it's full of remarks." - “No, I behaved no worse than usual, and you yourself cursed and quarreled yesterday. Why should I listen to you?" The boss says to the subordinate: “Why did you do such and such in bad faith?” “And you yourself forgot to tell me about this yesterday.” What happens in the mind of a leader? Anger or dislike towards a subordinate. He tries to prove something to him, but instead receives a thousand words in response.

Wherever we look, self-justification is a great evil. One person tries to either blame or reason with another, but what does he hear in response? A thousand words, and all in defiance of the speaker: “Why are you pestering me? Yes, you look at yourself, what you yourself represent. What does it generate? Hate, anger, dislike. Self-justification is a bridge that leads further to the development of anger, and even further to quarrels, battles and hatred between people. Self-justification feeds on pride and leads to hell.

The eighth sign of pride is murmuring

Now let's talk about what turns the face of God away from man, raises an insurmountable barrier between God and man, causes the wrath and irritation of God - about grumbling. Murmuring is a kind of blasphemy against God, ingratitude to Him for all His great blessings. This is spiritual and spiritual blindness, aversion from the Providence of God, a descent from the divine path, the road to the underworld. This is grief that darkens the soul; it is an impenetrable darkness that makes the path of man deadly both for the temporal life and for the life to come.
Murmuring is a manifestation of human pride, proud opposition of a creature to its Creator. All the days of our lives we should remember that no matter how much we want otherwise, no matter how much we go out of our way, we will always remain God's creatures. Holy Scripture says: “Woe to him who quarrels with his Creator, a shard of earthly shards! Will the clay say to the potter, "What are you doing?" and your work [will he say of you], “He has no hands?” (Isaiah 45:9). The pot did not mold itself, but was molded by the master. And it is not the pot, but the potter, who determines which vessel has a great, which small, and which an insignificant use. He himself breaks his creation, and restores it again. What can we oppose to our Creator? Nothing. He determined for each his life path and his life cross. He gave each one a special blessing, which we must carry through our whole lives, and, perhaps, be saved, or perhaps perish.

From the Holy Scriptures we see what terrible consequences grumbling has always led to. Through the mouths of the prophets and the righteous, both in the Old Testament and in our time, the Lord convicts our wrongness and our ingratitude to Him. For what? Then, so that we would not anger Him, so that we would turn to Him and become truly holy Israel, the holy people of God. But this often doesn't happen. Because we don't have enough; or everything that is sent, we perceive as evil; or we want another, we think in our own way, forgetting that the Creator exists above us.

It should be remembered, my dears, that for every murmuring word, for every ungratefulness to the Lord, for every blasphemy against Him, you will give an answer. And it will be with you as it was with the people of Israel. Today the Lord blesses you and puts into your hands the opportunity to live differently and inherit life, but tomorrow he will take it away for your grumbling. And then, all the days of your life, you will not find peace or joy, only sorrows and illnesses will haunt you. Today you were close to finding peace of mind, peace in your family and with those around you, and tomorrow, for grumbling, the Lord will harden your environment, and you will begin to experience terrible disasters. And perhaps, as it was with the people of Israel, only children, seeing your mournful example, will understand how they should be afraid of grumbling against their Creator.

How to deal with pride

To fight pride, you must immediately take on all the passions generated by it.
Why is it so important to fight both the ailments of dominant passion and the ailment of pride at the same time? I will give a simple everyday example. Who among you was engaged in gardening knows: when a beetroot or turnip grows and you want to cook borscht, then you pull it by the young tops, and it breaks off, remains in your hand, and the turnip or beetroot is in the ground. To pull it out, wise gardeners take all the leaves of the tops at once, closer to the root, and pull - then only the root crop that sits in the ground is completely pulled out. So, in order to draw out the passion of pride, one must immediately take on all the passions manifested by it: irritation, pride, despondency, fighting them and at the same time asking the Lord to give humility and meekness. That's when pride kicks in.

The struggle with pride begins with small, external

A proud person is also recognizable outwardly - he loves to laugh, talks a lot, fusses and shows himself, all the time trying to show himself. Therefore, during the year, I bless you to work on this inner problem: to seek the last place, not to show yourself, not to stick out, not to justify yourself, not to boast, not to push ahead, not to exalt yourself.

Here it is, the struggle with pride. You have to start small. If a person wants to start fighting with his pride, then he must find a worse place for himself and sit there; when everyone is talking - be silent; when everyone is boasting, do not open your mouth and speak only when asked.
To defeat pride, you need to learn obedience to the Church and obedience to the confessor, cutting off your own will.

I tried to convey to you how terrible pride is, how our own "ego" uses us, how we want to live for our own benefit. But in order to become a disciple of Christ and acquire the mind, heart and soul of Christ, you need to forget yourself and see your neighbor. How difficult it is! All the strings of the soul protest. Why should I think about someone, comfort someone, help someone? I don't have to. I have my own life, my own problems. Why do I need someone else, why do I need all these strangers?

But these people are not strangers. These are the ones the Lord has placed around you today. So that you can save your soul, remake yourself, remove your “I” so far that it does not protrude, and another person stands in the first place for you. It is impossible without this to become a disciple of Christ, for the Lord says: “If anyone wants to follow Me, deny himself, and take up your cross, and follow Me” (Matt. 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23 ). “He who saves his soul will lose it; but he who has lost his life for my sake will save it” (Mt. 10:39; Mk. 8:35; Lk. 9:24). These are the words we hear in the Gospel. What do they mean? That a person is called for the sake of love for God and neighbor not getting enough sleep, malnourished, wasting time, nerves, strength. But modern man does not want to do this, because he sees only himself and boils in his own juice.

Do you want to be disciples of Christ? Deny yourself and learn to see God in your neighbor who is near you. Turn over everything that lives in the soul, and put it in proper order, as the Lord blesses. And the passion of pride will begin to heal in your souls.

Repentance is pharisaic and unfalse

It seems that you go to church, and you have reason to think that everything is in order, you have finally begun to live as a Christian. But with such an attitude, the heart begins to be covered with a film of spiritual fat, it becomes impenetrable, lazy, soft. But the Lord is not pleased, and the Lord will always disturb your soul. We seem to calm down - and we do not see our sins to the end. Constantly looking for sins in oneself and bringing them to confession is the path to delusion. Another thing is when the Lord, by His grace, opens our eyes to our sinfulness. I want you to catch the difference between what the Lord says in relation to the Pharisees: “blind guides, straining out a gnat, but swallowing a camel” (Matt. 23:24), and the situation when we pray to God, repent to Him, try to cleanse our soul - and our eyes are opened to all the torment of our inner man, we see how imperfect, weak we are; and this prompts us to deep repentance, leads to confession. When a person seeks out sins in himself, this often happens according to hypocrisy; it is embarrassing for him to go to confession and not say anything to the priest. He thinks: “What can I say about myself? It seems to be not quite a saint, but I can’t find sins. ” And another thing is when a person’s heart is bursting with understanding of what is happening in it. These are two qualitatively different states. The first is the hypocrisy of the Pharisees; in the second we abide unfalsely.

Consider the parable of the publican and the Pharisee. The Pharisee stood humbly in the temple, but at the same time he said: “God! I thank You that I am not like other people, robbers, offenders, adulterers, or like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11). This is the way to elevate yourself through the humiliation of others. The publican repeated: “God! Be merciful to me, a sinner!” (Luke 18:13). This is the way of self-abasement.

We ask you to open the doors of our stone heart

The second path leads to the opening of the doors of the heart, while the first one closes them. The difference between these two paths is often seen in confession. Some begin to repent and at the same time look for someone to blame for their sins; whoever provokes them: the husband, the neighbors in the front door, the housekeepers, the authorities, the President, the head of the district, the priest - all together. When everyone around is pushing to commit a sin, the person himself seems to have nothing to do with it: yes, he sinned - but he could not help but sin, because he was hurt. He thinks: "How could I not sin here, I will share the guilt with everyone, and they are sinners, and I am sinful." This is a direct path to delusion - the path of covering up your sins, running away from them, unwillingness to see your weakness and honestly say: “Lord, I am lazy, I am selfish, I love myself, I am hard-hearted. It’s not someone else’s fault that I don’t get up for prayer, that I want to break the fast or do something else, it’s not others who are to blame, I myself am to blame for this.”

During Great Lent, we kneel at the All-Night Vigil and hear: “Open the door of repentance for us.” And where do these doors lead, where are they? It's about the doors of your own heart. We ask God to give us the opportunity to enter into the depths of our heart and know ourselves unfairly. We ask: “Open the door of repentance, Life-giver Christ” – so that at last the key to our stone heart is found, so that we can see what is inside, feel, repent, and be cleansed. These are the doors we are talking about and what we ask the Lord for.

Forgive, bless, pray for me

The Holy Fathers have left us many great pieces of advice, and one of them concerns how to stop irritation, which, perhaps justly, or perhaps unjustly, flares up in relation to another person. According to the patristic advice, in such a situation a person should remember three words worthy of a Christian. Those three words: "Forgive, bless and pray for me." They spiritually influence the one who proves something to you.

Of course, at work, these words are most likely not to be uttered. Most of our work is secular, and many of our employees are unbelievers. If you say in front of them what the holy fathers advise, you will simply be considered insane. But in a believing family, or in obedience to the Church, or in relation to an Orthodox Christian - a friend or sister - these three words are enough to stop the mouth of any anger, to immediately, in the bud, extinguish any hostility and any irritation.

Think about these three simple words. "Sorry, bless and pray for me." “Sorry” means the person is asking for forgiveness. Here is the first indicator of humility. He does not say: I'm right or I'm wrong, he doesn't talk a lot about himself, he doesn't start reasoning and he doesn't promise - now let's figure out which of us is right. He says, "I'm sorry." The subtext of this “sorry” is that I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but I’m sorry anyway if I upset you like my brother. Then the person says: "Bless." This means that he calls on the grace of God for help. The one that really manages, which will die a brother or sister, will pacify the situation, which will extinguish all the intrigues of the devil in relation to the fact that a person quarreled with a person. And when he adds, "Pray for me," that is the third sign of humility. A person asks for prayers for himself, so that the grace of God will help him to really do deeds of truth.

Thus, a person really grows rich in God, and not in himself. He does not feed his granary of pride, he does not fill his vanity bin with the obscene grain of pride, but grows rich in God, exhausts himself, bows before his neighbor, humbles himself before his neighbor, asks his holy prayers and calls on the grace of God for help.

Inspire your neighbor no more than twice

How, however, to be a person who is trying to reason with another, to convey the truth to him? Well, if he came across such a believer who really humbled himself and acted on the advice. A person who behaves like this brings peace to communication between people, between Christians. But if this is not the case, if thousands of excuses sound in response to admonition?

We, Orthodox, are like spiritual lumberjacks. We have such a spiritual saw, and we saw our neighbor with it until the juice comes out of him. This is typical of our environment. How can we stop in time so that our neighbor does not squeal, weep and groan from our good admonitions, and at the same time our pride does not develop? For this, too, there is a corresponding patristic council. He says the following: inspire your neighbor no more than twice. The Holy Fathers have verified this. If a person repeats something more than twice, then dislike will appear in his soul, then irritation, then anger.

How to be? How to be in this situation - the neighbor does not obey? It is required to convey to the consciousness of a person a very important life circumstance - to explain something to a child, a family member, a colleague - but it does not work. The holy fathers say: say twice and stop. Otherwise, irritation will come into your soul, anger will come into your soul, and you will no longer admonish your neighbor like a Christian, but with passion, with hostility. And instead of admonishment, a quarrel can turn out.

Who benefits from a quarrel? Manslayer-devil. God doesn't need a fight. Better a bad peace than a good quarrel. Better a family that survives than a broken family. Better friends who keep in touch than friends who squint at each other. Better is a community of people where there is peace, albeit a bad peace, weak, but peace, than enmity, quarrel and hostility towards each other. This must be understood. And take care of what the Lord gives us.

Therefore, here are two patristic pieces of advice for you, very instructive for both sides - for the one who admonishes and for the one who is admonished. Let's repeat them again.

First advice: do not admonish more than twice, do not try to force the will of another with your will. Say it twice, and then leave everything to the will of God. Wait for the Lord to enlighten a person, when He opens his heart and soul so that your words lie on good ground. If you continue to rape a person, you will get anger, irritation, a quarrel, and, moreover, you will cultivate pride in your own soul.

And the second advice- for the sensible: under no circumstances try to justify yourself. Who needs your excuses? Nobody needs them. With them you will only push your neighbor away from you, you will cause despondency in him, quarrel with him, move away from him, lose a friend. Therefore, there is no need, no need to make excuses. Whether you're right or wrong, no one cares. God sees everything. God sees your heart, your soul. Say three simple words of humility: "I'm sorry, bless and pray for me."

Act according to the righteousness of God, not human

Human justice is very connected with human flesh. She forgets about mercy to her neighbors and has nothing to do with the Gospel of God. This justice is a law which a man writes for his own convenience, or for the convenience of his life, or for the convenience of self-justification, or for his other conveniences.

Elder Paisius gives a simple example. You have ten plums, and you have decided to divide them between you and your brother. You say that there are two of you, and you divide them by five, exactly equally. This is human justice. There is nothing shameful in it, it is an ordinary act of an ordinary person. Everyone remained with his own, neither you are offended, nor your brother. What will be the injustice? If you gave less to your neighbor and took more for yourself. And somehow he justified himself at the same time: “I’m older and more experienced,” or “this morning I read three prayers, and you two, and I’m supposed to have six plums, and you have four - you were too lazy.” But in fact, in the heart, gluttony prospered latently. I just wanted to eat six plums, even if I cheated my neighbor. Such is human injustice. But there is still the justice of God, when a person saw that his neighbor was hungry, that he was in need, that he longed for plums - and for the sake of his neighbor he yielded. He says: “Friend, eat eight plums, I don’t like them, and in general my stomach swells from them; I don’t need these plums, I ate enough, eat these eight for Christ’s sake. This is divine justice.

See how the three justices differ from each other? So it is in the life of God: the justice of God is always associated with some kind of limitation, self-abasement and sacrifice for the sake of one's neighbor, when a person sacrifices either time, or something dear to him, or what is sent to him.

We see this in the gospel parable. The father has two sons. And the father first acts according to human justice. How does he divide his estate between the eldest son and the youngest? in half. The youngest son wanted half the estate - please get half the estate. The father does not ask his son: “What will you do with him, what will you turn him into?”, and in human justice he gives him half the estate. We do not know the true motives of the youngest son - whether it was greed or foresight - but we see a truly human act: he took away half of his father's estate in his favor.

We saw something similar in the pages of the Old Testament, when Lot and Abraham almost quarreled with each other over pastures for their animals. And how did the holy righteous Abraham act? “We, relatives, will not quarrel over who got the best and who got the worst,” and the elder yields to the younger. He invites Lot to choose pastures that he likes. And what does Lot choose? Sodom and Gomorrah. We know what the green pastures of Sodom and Gomorrah turned out to be for him. He barely carried his legs from there, lost his wife there, all his belongings, all animals and slaves. Abraham acts in righteousness, out of love, but Lot acts in a human way. In one lives the desire for human justice, and in the other, God's justice. And Lot then disentangles this human justice, remains poor, in rags, desecrated and ridiculed. But Abraham prospered, and prospers.

We see the same thing on the pages of the gospel narrative. The younger son, desiring what did not belong to him, and acting not in a divine way, having taken half of his estate from his father and elder brother, went to another country. He lived fornication, squandered everything he had, and as a result, it turned out to be his lot - to eat along with the owner's pigs. And then a conscience woke up in him, he turns to God, he goes back to his father. The father sees the resurrected son, the converted son, returned to the bosom of the father, and acts according to the righteousness of God, he accepts the son and does not regret anything for him. With a generous hand he kills a well-fed calf, with a generous hand he prepares all kinds of dishes, gathers guests for a feast and rejoices with his son at his return.

And what about the eldest son, who all these years remained with his father? In human truth. With bitterness, he says to his father the same thing that we often reproach our relatives and friends - that they treat us differently than others. “Why do you treat me differently than you treat my older sister, my brother? Why did you give your brother the opportunity to live with his family in a separate apartment, and I have to hang around and experience all sorts of difficulties? Such reproaches towards parents and other relatives also arise in the Christian environment. We ask "why?", we torment the souls of relatives. But the answer is simple: because such is the truth of God. You think like a human being, but your parents, relatives and friends, often admonished by God, think like God. They see who needs more at this moment, who suffers more. You don't have a family, but your older brother does. You have one person in your family, and your sister has three. You grumble, you want and seek justice, and you will get it. But then you will repent bitterly, as Lot repented. For your earthly human justice, you will then shed bitter tears. Having searched for it, finally, you will not get anything good from it.

But when you provide a place for the grace of God, humble yourself and act in God's way, give eight plums to your neighbor, then the grace of God will completely cover you, fill everything that you lack so much, and the Lord Himself will help you in all your ways.

If we seek fairthe awn of man, and not the truth and justice of God; if we do not humble ourselves before God and neighbor; let us not act as the holy fathers advise us—to oppress ourselves for the sake of Christ, to limit ourselves for the sake of our neighbor, to act in a way that is better for our neighbor, and not for us—then there will be no Christianity, no spiritual growth in us.

Of course, it is very difficult for a person to live according to the truth of God. You need to break yourself down to the roots every time. We love ourselves very much, we warm ourselves very much. It is not for nothing that the Lord, knowing this human essence, said: “As you want to be treated with you, do so with others.” Our shirt is closer to the body, and it is difficult for us to tear off a flap from it and bandage the wounds of our neighbor with it. To do this, you need to break yourself with the help of God, with prayer. It is very difficult and very painful, but necessary. If this does not happen, then there will be no acquisition of the prodigal son, there will be no change of soul. We will be honest, good, decent, respected, diligent, correct people, but people of this age, and not sons and daughters of God.

The Lord Himself delivers us from pride. boomerang law

We all wonder why misfortune befalls us and our children. When we analyze our life, it becomes obvious that not everything is smooth and even in it. If it arrives somewhere, then it will definitely decrease elsewhere, if something happens “with a plus”, then it will definitely give something “minus”. It seems that everything is fine in the family, there is prosperity, but there is no happiness: the husband does not love his wife, or the family sees his father very rarely, or the wife has no health, and the family suffers, visiting their mother in hospitals. And others, on the contrary, are healthy, but there is no money - so they think all the time what to buy food and what to wear. And so it is with everyone: it doesn’t happen that everything is all at once - there is one thing, but there is no other.

Why is this happening, what is the Providence of God here, what is the meaning of our, sometimes temporary, misadventures? This is where the boomerang law comes into play. We allow some kind of weakness, indulge ourselves, our passions, go on about the love of money, let some adventurous notes sound in our souls - and “suddenly”, in a year or a year and a half, the boomerang launched by us returns to us, what we created, begins to persecute us. What is the meaning of this boomerang? I would say that the Lord gives us spiritual inoculations. For what? If a person is not vaccinated against pride, then it can destroy him. If a person is not vaccinated today against the temptation that may arise in him tomorrow, this temptation will cover him with his head and the person will perish.

What does it mean to be humble

A true Christian will not quarrel and make noise. And how will he act? In God's way, that is, humble himself, cross himself: "Lord, Thy will be done." And he will repeat the words of the Lord: “If possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not as I will, but as You” (Matt. 26:39). Here it is, Christian obedience to the will of God, here it is, humility before God, humility before God's providence and one's lot in the eyes of God.

And when a person so humbles himself and surrenders everything to God, seeks everything from God, prays: “In the image of fate, Lord, direct my path,” then it’s really not he himself, not his human pride, not his understanding begins to help him in this life but the Lord Himself.

Too often we don't do what the Lord has commanded us to do. We boil, we swear, we insist on our rights. For example, parents come home and say: “You are not our daughter (or you are not our son), get out of here, from this square, from this apartment, it’s crowded for us to live!” So, he got married or got married - and away from his father's house. Or something else: "You have a good job, we are not obliged to help you and your children, do not contact us, and more so that we do not hear your calls." And so say relatives, relatives - fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles! Is there anything amazing here? No. For it is said in Holy Scripture: "Every man is a lie" (Ps. 116:2).

We must trust in the Lord, and in Him alone we see joy, consolation and support for our long-suffering life. We must ask Him to help us at all times and for every hour, not to rely on “princes, on the sons of men, in whom there is no salvation” (Ps. 145:3).

It is important, dear brothers and sisters, that we submit our will to the will of God. Very often, in the crucible of life's trials, our pride and vanity are highlighted. We see this situation that is taking shape, we see an insulting injustice, and then our own “I” comes forward: “I think so! I want it to be so!” But at the same time, we do not say preemptive words: “May God's will be done for everything; not as I want it, but as the Lord wants it." And it is necessary to say them, because in His unexplored and inscrutable ways He leads us through life, leads us through injustices and insults, and then it turns out that it was for our great benefit, that it was for us to save our souls, and that there is no other way could have happened, but only in the way the Lord arranged it. Meekly drinking the cup that the Lord drank and that He gives us is a great Christian humility, a Christian feat, which we need to learn.

Murmuring blocks the mercy of God

Murmuring pushes the Kingdom of God away from us, raises the wrath of God and His rebuke on us. Let's look at the pages of Holy Scripture, at the pages of history, at the present day. What happens to those who go against God, do not accept what He sends? Where are they? They are gone, and their ashes were scattered by the wind, and their very kind was uprooted.

Let us remember the suffering of the people of Israel. The Lord sent many plagues before the people of Israel could leave Egypt. During the first procession through the desert, the people were extremely hard, and people grumbled, remembering the old time, when they had plenty of meat, and they lived in peace, although they were slaves. And when the Lord had already led them to the promised land, when it was visible - at hand - another murmur blocked the mercy of God, and the people were forced to wander in the wilderness for another forty years. The Lord, angry, did not allow almost anyone to enter the promised land. The whole generation of those who murmured died out. They were buried in the desert. Only their children inherited the opportunity to enter there, into that land where, as the Lord said, milk and honey flow. Only children who have grown up in obedience and loyalty to their Maker and Creator have inherited the Lord's promise.

Human life is a procession in the wilderness. The tabernacle that the Israelites carried with them is a type of the altar of the Lord; the ministers who carry this tabernacle are the priests; and you, naturally, are Israel, who must go through a difficult path of trials.

The Lord did not spare His chosen people, and for their murmuring sent them to wander in the wilderness for another forty years. So the Lord can delay each of you to see the Kingdom of Heaven, to find peace of mind, peace in your soul, the Kingdom of God within yourself - to postpone for thirty years, forty, seventy - for as long as you like. Remember that every murmuring word, every blasphemy of the day of our life, of what is happening to us, angers the Creator and leads to the fact that He changes the line of our life. He makes it so that we come to our senses, come to our senses and come to the right conclusions.

Slaves of sin, we came out of the land of Egypt. Will we be healed?

You need to firmly understand that, perhaps, many of you standing here in the temple will not see the Kingdom of God and will not find what you are now looking for: healing from illnesses, weakening your sorrows, all this can continue until death itself. There is no need to despair - so favored God. Perhaps children or grandchildren will inherit what you are striving for now. Why? Because you and I came out of Egypt, we were slaves, slaves of sin, and with this we came to the Church. And many of us, as they were, and remain, in their inner essence, slaves. And they serve the Lord not as sons or daughters, but out of fear of punishment, of future hellish torments.

Is it bad or good? On the one hand, it's good. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. There will be no restraining fear - and we will all perish. On the other hand, it's bad. For God needs love not from under the stick, not the obedience of a slave. He needs the love of a son or daughter. And in order to reach the state of a son or daughter, obedient to the Father in everything and always, all the days of his life, one has to go through a considerable life path.

Therefore, there is no need to err and there is no need to grumble. Children will inherit - thank God, grandchildren will inherit - thank God. The Lord is trying to bring us out of our spiritual slavery and give us another life. To give the opportunity to fulfill the commandments of God not in the ritual sense; feel the breath of the Holy Spirit in the temple; with a free heart to pray to Him as to the Living God, to serve Him and to see Him, the Living One, always, in every place: here, in the temple, and at home, and at work, and feel Him in your heart.

To be faithful to the Living God, to serve the Holy Trinity, to worship God in spirit and in truth, and to truly be a daughter or a son of God, we must thank God for everything He sends us all the days of our lives. To glorify His name, no matter how hard it is, to endure everything that is sent. Did the Lord not deprive the Israelites of water as they marched in the wilderness? Deprived. Did he deprive him of food? Deprived. Were they hot and difficult to walk? Was. So it is in our life. Yes, it's hard, it hurts - but there is no other way. Who said that with light efforts one can enter the Kingdom of Heaven? On the contrary, the Lord says: “The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by need, and the needy take it away.” Needy - that is, those who force, endure, and in great patience, in great humility and obedience to God, go where God's blessing extends them.

Therefore, let us submit to what is, let us accept with joy and gratitude the blessing of God descending upon us. Even unpleasant, sick, suffering, it is the blessing of God, given to us, and there is no other way for a person to find peace and tranquility, and for the Holy Spirit to change the heart and soul for the better.

Inoculation against pride

When we begin to transfer sins onto another, the Lord sends misadventures to us - spiritual inoculations. As soon as we think that everything is in order with us, the Lord inoculates us. Suddenly, we quarreled with someone, quarreled. Or suddenly something that we did turns out to be shameful, crafty, and we cannot understand how we could have done such a thing. We just raised our heads - the Lord immediately lowered it down to the ground: “You thought that you ended your salvation on this. Here, I show you what you are. Do not raise your little head high, lower it down, and go. Go humbly, do not look around you, do not look around, do not look at other people's sins.

We very often need this inoculation against pride. I have seen many prosperous families in which parents and children gradually came into a state of neglect of God and the Church. “What do you ask God for? We have everything. The children are healthy, they themselves are healthy, the family is well-being and prosperity. There is enough money for education for children, the younger ones go to the gymnasium, the older ones receive higher education. What else do we need? Why should we go to church? they argue. These people, who are in a state of consumer attitude towards the Church, have not yet become part of those who serve God; they can fall off at any moment. The Lord sees this, the Lord is merciful, the Lord is sick for these people and inoculates against pride, sends a shock or misfortune.

He shakes us up - and there is so much money that it is barely enough to pay for an apartment, but we still have to feed ourselves and our children. And we understand that we cannot do without the help of the Lord. And we go, we ask the Lord for help: "Lord, help us, we cannot do anything." Some new law was released - and we understand that tomorrow we may be evicted from the apartment, and it is not known where we will be - in a communal apartment, with a roof, without a roof, on the street, and whether we will even have a piece of bread. That's when we go to the Lord: "Lord, help me, without You I can't do anything."

The Lord gives us such inoculations so that you and I would have steadfastness against the proud state, which is inherent in every person to one degree or another. The Lord hides from us the measure of our infection with pride. She's different for everyone. Some people have severe severity. Some people have very mild symptoms. Maybe it does not manifest itself at all, it nests somewhere deep in the heart. And the Lord sees that even this little pride can destroy us forever, forever close the doors of the Kingdom of Heaven for us. And the Lord instills us - gives us misadventures.

We hit our foreheads and bowed our heads: “Lord, how could I not notice this, how could I do this, what did I imagine such a thing about myself, what did I think?” In order for such thoughts to be born, you need to hit your forehead against the wall or to get slapped on the head from above. Before that, they didn't.

My dears, we have a lot of events in life. Sometimes we get carried away, we lose our sense of proportion, our brakes don't work. In other cases, a person is carried, and he cannot stop - he wants to, but cannot. Then the Lord stops him. Especially if the person is a believer. The Lord is not pleased with such a state of man, he sees that he can continue to grow in evil. And today He sends him a little admonition so that tomorrow, a year later, having found himself in exactly the same situation, a person does not do more evil, does not break firewood, does not commit such sins, because of which he would be ashamed even to come to confession, the threshold church cross. The Lord is giving a small vaccine today so that tomorrow a big, huge, serious misfortune does not happen to you, so that you understand God's providence, understand that the Lord has mercy on us, that He loves us, and that all the evil that happens to us is actually great good for us. The Lord stops us like foolish children. It gives us the opportunity to reflect on whether we are doing the right thing.

If the Lord did not do this to us, I assure you, we would all perish. For from the pride of Satan, which is inherent in the people of this age, no one is safe. Therefore, my dears, please accept with thanksgiving everything that the Lord sends you, try to learn from the inoculations of the Lord. Draw the right conclusions from everything that happens. Then you will be delivered from many troubles and misfortunes, and with a grateful heart you will pass undamaged through all the devil's nets. Amen.

Struggle against the passion of pride on the basis of patristic teaching

What is pride

“The eighth and last battle is before us with a spirit of pride. This passion, although in order to depict the struggle with passions, is supposed to be the last, but in the beginning and time there is the first. This is the most ferocious and most indomitable beast, especially attacking the perfect and devouring them with fierce gnaws when they reach almost the very pinnacle of virtues.

“Pride is a tumor of the soul, filled with corrupted blood; if it ripens, it will break through and cause great trouble ...

Pride puffs up thoughts to the point of pomposity, teaches them to disregard every person and look with contempt on what is natural to oneself as something insignificant, drives lofty thoughts to madness, inspires them to dream of equality with God, does not recognize the Providence and care of the All-Good God, believes that he receives as due for deeds she does not want to see God's help in what she does and in what she succeeds, she considers herself sufficient for every good deed, out of self-conceit she thinks that she has the strength for everything, being completely powerless. She is a water bubble, inflated by a vain opinion of herself, which, if only to blow, turns into nothing.

“Pride is the rejection of God, the contempt of men, the mother of condemnation, the offspring of praise, the rejection of God's help, the culprit of falls, the source of anger; a bitter tormentor of other people's affairs, an inhuman judge, an opponent of God, a root of blasphemy...

Pride is the wretchedness of the soul, which dreams of being rich, and, being in darkness, thinks that it has light.

The proud is like an apple, rotten on the inside, but shining with beauty on the outside.

The proud have no need of a tempting demon; he himself has become a demon and an adversary for himself.

What gives birth to the passion of pride

The Holy Fathers speak of two types of pride: carnal, material, and spiritual—the pride of the perfect.“There are two kinds of pride: the first is that, as we said, the men of a high spiritual life are amazed; and the other seizes the novice and the carnal. And although both of these kinds of pride are lifted up by a pernicious exaltation both before God and before people, nevertheless, the first one directly refers to God, and the second actually concerns people ...

This is the cause of the first fall and the beginning of the main passion, which then, through the one who was first wounded by it, crept into the primordial, grew the whole multitude of passions. And he - the primordial one - believing that by the strength of his free will and his own efforts he can achieve the glory of the deity, he also lost that which he received by the goodness of the Creator.

Thus, examples and testimonies of Holy Scripture most clearly prove that the passion of pride, despite the fact that in the order of spiritual warfare is the last, at the beginning, however, it is the very first and is the source of all sins and crimes. It, not like other passions, not only destroys the opposite virtue, i.e. humility, but is the destroyer of all virtues together and tempts not some mediocre and insignificant ones, but especially those who stand at the height of power. For thus the prophet speaks of this spirit: His chosen food (Hab. 1:16). Therefore, blessed David, although he guarded the secrets of his heart with such attention that to Him from Whom the secrets of his conscience were not hidden, he boldly proclaimed: lower in wondrous more than me (Ps. 131:1); and again: do not live in the midst of my house, create pride (Ps. 100: 7); however, knowing how difficult it is, even for perfect ones, to protect themselves from any movement of this passion, he did not rely on his own efforts in this, but in prayer he asked the Lord for help, that he would allow him to avoid being stung by the arrow of this enemy, saying: yes, do not the foot of pride will come to me (Ps. 35:12), (i.e., do not let me, Lord, take any step to inspire pride), - fearing and fearing lest I be exposed to what is said about the proud: God opposes the proud (James 4:6), and one more thing: no one who has a high heart is pure before God (Prov. 16:5)

This is what humility before God actually consists of, this is what the faith of the most ancient saints consists in. fathers, remaining even hitherto unspotted and among their successors. This faith of theirs is undeniably evidenced by the apostolic powers they manifested not only among us, but also among unbelievers and those of little faith.

Joash, king of the Jews, was at first a meritorious life; but then, being puffed up, he was given over to dishonorable and unclean passions, or, according to the apostle: the mind is not skillful to create unlike (Rom. 1:26,28). Such is the law of God's righteousness, that whoever unrepentantly puffs up with the proud exaltation of his heart, he surrenders to the shame of the most vile carnal shame, so that, having been humiliated in this way, he feels that if he now turns out to be so defiled, it is because before he did not want to recognize the deepest and the most important impurity from proud exaltation, and that, realizing this, he would be jealous to cleanse himself from one and the other passion [paraphrase abbr.].

So, it is obvious that no one can reach the last limit of perfection and purity otherwise than by true humility, which he, apparently testifying before the brethren, also expresses before God in the secrets of his heart, believing that without His protection and help, at every moment visiting him, he cannot achieve the perfection that he desires and to which he flows with effort.

carnal pride

We also call carnal pride worldly pride or worldly pride.
"Carnal ... pride if ... without due jealousy of the beginning<воцерковления христианина, не позволяет>him from his former worldly arrogance to descend to the true humility of Christ, at first makes him rebellious and stubborn<прихожанином>; then he does not allow him to be meek and courteous, as well as to behave on a level with all the brethren<и сестрами>and live like everyone else, without standing out; especially does not yield, so that, according to the commandment of God and our Savior, he would be naked from every earthly acquisition<и земных временных, часто порочных пристрастий>; and meanwhile...<удаление>from the world there is nothing else than the indication of death to everything and the cross, and cannot in its true form be begun and built up on other grounds, as to recognize oneself not only as spiritually dead to all the works of this world, but to believe that bodily has to die every day » .

Carnal pride as worldly pride prompts a Christian to seek vain earthly glory and comfort, conveniences, various blessings and temporary pleasures of this world.

spiritual pride

This kind of pride is tempted by perfect people who have succeeded in exploits and virtues.

“This kind of pride is not known to many and is experienced by many, because not many try to acquire perfect purity of heart in order to reach such battles. It usually fights only those who, having conquered all other passions, are already almost at the very top of the virtues. Our most cunning enemy, since he could not overcome them, attracting them to a carnal fall, is now trying to stumble them and overthrow them with a spiritual fall, plotting through him to deprive them of all their former fruits, acquired with great difficulty.<нас, опутанных>carnal passions...<враг>stammers with coarse and, so to speak, carnal arrogance. And therefore, about this one, into which we are in danger, most of all, or people of our measure, and especially the souls of young or novice<христиан>» .

monastic pride

“A monk who has not begun his world-renunciation so kindly can never contain the true, simple humility of Christ. He will not stop either boasting of the nobility of the family, or puffed up by the former worldly rank, which he left only with his body, and not with his heart, or he will ascend with money kept to himself for his own destruction, because because of them he can no longer calmly bear the yoke of monastic orders. nor obey the instructions of any elder."

Stages of pride

The conditions for the development of pride can be divided into three stages."The flash of lightning foreshadows a thunderous blow, but for pride heralds the appearance of vanity."

“The beginning of pride is the rooting of vanity; the middle - the humiliation of one's neighbor, shameless preaching about one's labors, self-praise in the heart, hatred of reproof; and the end is the rejection of God's help, arrogant hope in one's own diligence, demonic disposition.
By carefully observing ourselves, we can understand what phase of the disease we are in.

“It is another matter to be exalted, another thing not to be exalted, and another thing is humility. One whole day judges; the other does not judge anything, but does not condemn himself either; and the third, being innocent, always condemns himself.

How Passion Manifests

“Do you want to know more precisely the measure of the strength of this most cruel tyrant, let us recall to ourselves how such an angel, who, for the excess of his brilliance and beauty, was called Lucifer, was cast down from heaven for no other reason than for this passion, and how he, wounded by an arrow of pride , from such a higher rank of blessed angels fell into the underworld. So, if such an incorporeal power, adorned with such significant advantages, a mere lifting of the heart could fall from heaven to earth, then with what vigilance we, clothed with mortal flesh, should beware of this, this shows the greatness of that destructive fall. And how we can avoid the most pernicious infection of this passion, we can learn this by tracing the beginning and causes of the aforementioned fall. For it is impossible to heal any ailment or to determine medicines for any diseases, unless their principles and causes are first investigated by careful research. This (archangel), clothed with divine lordship, shining more than other higher powers due to the generosity of the Creator, imagined that this brilliance of wisdom and this beauty of virtue, which he was adorned with by the grace of the Creator, he possessed by his natural powers, and not by the generosity of God. And having ascended for this reason, he considered himself equal to God, as having no need for anything, like God, as if he did not need divine help to stay in such purity. So he completely relied on the power of his free will, believing that by it alone he would be supplied in abundance with everything necessary for complete perfection in the virtues and for the continuity of supreme bliss. This one thought became for him the first cause of his fatal fall. For her, being abandoned by God, in Whom he considered himself not in need, and immediately becoming unstable and languishing because of it, he felt the weakness of his own nature, and lost the bliss that he enjoyed by the gift of God. So, because he loved the verbs of the flood, in which, magnifying himself, he said: I will ascend into heaven (Is. 14:13); and a flattering tongue, with which, deceiving himself, he said: and I will be like the Most High; how later he deceived Adam and Eve, suggesting to them: you will be like a god; then here is his sentence: for this sake God will destroy you to the end, delight you, and remove you from your village. The righteous will see, and they will be afraid, and they will laugh at him, and they will say: behold a man, even if you do not put God to help you, but trust in the abundance of your wealth, and make it possible with your vanity (Ps. 51, 6-9). The last words (this man) can very rightly be addressed to those who hope to achieve the highest good without God's protection and help.

What happens to those who are possessed by pride

Whoever is possessed by pride, considers it humiliating for himself to observe any rules of submission or obedience, he even reluctantly listens to the general teaching about the perfection of spiritual life, sometimes he is completely disgusted with him, especially when, convicted by his conscience, he accepts the suspicion that it deliberately directed against him. In the latter case, his heart becomes even more hardened and kindled with anger. After that, he has a loud voice, rough speech, an obstinate answer with bitterness, a proud and agile gait, irrepressible talkativeness. Thus, it happens that a spiritual conversation not only does not bring him any benefit, but, on the contrary, turns out to be harmful, becoming for him an occasion for greater sin [abbr.] ” .

How carnal pride manifests itself, signs of pride

“Carnal pride is manifested in the following actions: in her speaking there is loudness, in silence - vexation, in gaiety - loud, spilling laughter, in sadness - meaningless cloudiness, when answering - causticity, in speech - lightness, words, haphazardly escaping without any participation of the heart. She does not know patience, a stranger to love, bold in inflicting insults, cowardly in enduring them, difficult to obey, if her own desire and will do not anticipate it, not inclined to exhortations, incapable of renouncing her wills, extremely submissive to strangers. stubborn, always striving to put on her decision, but she never agrees to give in to another; and thus, it happens that, having become incapable of accepting saving advice, she trusts her own opinion more than the reasoning of the elders.

“Pride lifts the proud to a great height and from there casts him down into the abyss.
Pride hurts those who apostate from God and attribute good deeds to their own strengths.

“The humble-minded ... does not inquire about incomprehensible objects; the proud one wants to explore the depth of the judgments of the Lord…

Whoever in a conversation stubbornly wishes to defend his opinion, even if it were just, let him know that he is possessed by the devil's disease (pride); and if he does this in conversation with his equals, then perhaps rebuking the elders will heal him; but if he treats the great and the wisest in this way, then people cannot heal this disease.

Once I asked one of the most skillful elders, how does obedience have humility? He answered: a prudent novice, if he raises the dead, and receives the gift of tears, and achieves deliverance from battles, always thinks that this is done by the prayer of his spiritual father, and remains alien and far from vain exaltation; and can he be exalted by what, as he himself realizes, he has done with the help of another, and not with his own effort?

There is a saving sign of humility - to have a humble mindset even with great deeds and achievements, but there is a sign of death, that is, pride, when someone is lifted up even by small, insignificant deeds.

“If the form of destruction, i.e., pride, is when someone is lifted up by both small and insignificant deeds; then there is a salutary sign of humility - to have a humble way of thinking even during great undertakings and corrections.

Once I caught this crazy charmer in my heart, brought into it on the shoulders of her mother - vanity, binding both with bonds of obedience and beating them with the scourge of humility, I forced them to tell me how they entered my soul? Finally, under blows, they said: “We have no beginning; no birth, for we ourselves are the principals and parents of all passions. One of our enemies is at odds with us a lot - contrition of the heart, born of obedience. But someone to be subordinate - we can not stand this; therefore we, who were rulers in heaven, retreated from there. Briefly say: we are the parents of everything contrary to humility of wisdom; - and what succumbs to it, then resists us. However, if we have appeared in heaven in such strength, then where will you run away from our face? We very often follow the patience of reproach; for the correction of obedience, and without anger, and forgetfulness, and service to others. Our offspring are the fall of spiritual men: anger, slander, vexation, irritability, outcry, blasphemy, hypocrisy, hatred, envy, contradiction, waywardness, disobedience. There is one thing - why we do not have the strength to resist - being strongly beaten by you, we will tell you this too - if you sincerely reproach yourself before the Lord, you will despise us like a cobweb. You see, - said pride, - humility and self-reproach will laugh at the horse and its rider, and with sweetness they will sing this song of victory: let us sing to the Lord, gloriously 6o be glorified: throw the horse and rider into the sea (Ex. 15: 1), i.e. into the abyss of humility."

“The proud man does not tolerate superiority over himself - and, meeting him, he either envies or competes. Rivalry and envy are held together, and whoever has one of these passions, both of them ...

If you see a person who is disobedient, proud and wise about himself, then his root is already half dead; because it does not accept the fatness imparted by the fear of God. And if you see a silent and humble person, then know that his root is strong; because it gets drunk with the fatness of the fear of God...

Who has…<гордость>who is tormented by the success of others; but in whom it is not, he does not grieve. This one, when honor is done to another, is not embarrassed; when another is exalted, he does not worry, because he gives priority to everyone, he prefers everyone to himself.

How Passion Works

“The unclean spirit of arrogance is resourceful and diverse, and uses all efforts to prevail over everyone: it catches the wise with wisdom, the strong one with strength, the rich one with wealth, the beautiful one with beauty, the artist with art.

And he does not let those who lead the spiritual life pass to tempt in the same way and sets up his nets: to the one who has renounced the world - in renunciation, to the abstemious - in abstinence, to the silent - in silence, to the non-acquisitive - in non-possession, to the man of prayer - in prayer. He tries to sow his tares in everyone.

“There is no other passion that would so destroy all the virtues and so expose and deprive a person of all righteousness and holiness as this evil pride: it, like an all-encompassing infection, is not content with the relaxation of one member or one part, but the whole body damages the deadly disorder and virtues that are already at their height, he tries to overthrow him with a heavy fall and destroy him. Every other passion is content with its limits and its goal, and although it disturbs other virtues, it is mainly directed against one, it is mainly oppressed and attacked. Thus, gluttony, that is, the passion for poly-eating or sweet-eating, spoils strict abstinence, lust defiles purity, anger drives away patience. So sometimes a devotee of one particular passion is not completely alien to other virtues, but after the destruction of that one virtue, which falls from the jealously armed opposite passion against it, others can at least partially retain; and as soon as this one takes possession of a poor soul, then, like some ferocious tyrant, after taking the highest fortress of virtues (humility), their entire city destroys to the ground and ruins the once high walls of holiness, leveling and mixing vices with the earth, no later the sign of freedom in the soul, subjugated to him, he does not allow to remain. The richer he captivates the soul, the more difficult the yoke of slavery exposes it, exposing it from all the property of virtues with the cruelest robbery.

“Just as one who has stepped on a web falls through and is carried away, so does one who relies on his own strength fall ...

A rotten fruit is useless to the farmer, and the virtue of a proud man is not good for God...

As the weight of a fruit breaks a branch, so pride overthrows a virtuous soul.

Do not betray your soul to pride - and you will not see terrible dreams; because the soul of the proud is abandoned by God and becomes the joy of demons...

The prayer of the humble bows God, but the petition of the proud offends Him...

When you ascend to the height of the virtues, then you will have a great need for protection; for if one who stands on the floor falls, he will soon get up, but he who has fallen from a height is in danger of dying.

“Where the fall into sin took place, there pride first settled; for pride is the harbinger of a fall...

Those who are captivated by pride need God's extraordinary help for deliverance; for human means to save him are unsuccessful...

Who says that he feels the incense of humility even during praises, although his heart moves little; let him not be deceived, for he is deceived...

Whoever is inwardly proud of his tears and condemns those who do not weep in his mind, he is like one who asked the king for a weapon against his enemy and kills himself with it.

“If you are healthy in body, then do not boast and be afraid.”

How to treat the passion of pride

“How great evil is pride when there are few angels and other forces opposed to it to resist it, but for this God Himself rises up. It should be noted that the apostle did not say about those who are entangled in other passions that they have God resisting them, that is, he did not say: God resists gluttons, fornicators, angry or money-lovers, but only the proud. For those passions either turn only on each of those who sin by them, or, apparently, they are set on their accomplices, that is, other people; but this one is actually directed against God and therefore especially deserves to have Him as an adversary.

“When you fall, sigh, and when you succeed, do not be haughty. Do not magnify yourself because you are blameless, so that instead of splendor you will not be clothed in shame.”

“He who rejects reproof reveals the passion of pride; and whoever accepts it, he has been released from the bonds of pride.

One wise old man admonished a proud brother; but this one, blind in soul, said: "Forgive me, father, I am not at all proud." Then the wise old man objected: “How can you, my son, more clearly prove that you are proud, if not by the assurance that there is no pride in you.
It is most useful for people of a proud disposition to be in obedience, to lead a life of the coarsest and most contemptible and to read stories about the pernicious consequences of pride and supernatural healings from it ...

Let us not stop testing ourselves and comparing our life with the life of former St. fathers and luminaries; and we will find that we have not yet taken a step to follow in the footsteps of the life of these great men - we have not even fulfilled our vow as we should, but we are still in a worldly dispensation ...

Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory, - someone said in the feeling of the soul (Ps. 113: 9); for he knew that human nature, being so feeble, could not receive praise harmlessly. From Te6e my praise is great in the Church (Ps. 21:26), - in the future age; and before that I can not take it safely ...

If pride has turned some of the angels into demons; then, without a doubt, humility can also make angels out of demons. So, let the fallen ones dare, trusting in God.

The prodigal can be corrected by people, the evil ones by angels, and the proud are healed by God Himself...

Visible pride is healed by mournful circumstances; and the invisible - before the age of the Invisible.

Do not take credit for the work and glory of God

“We can avoid the nets of this most indecent spirit if we talk with the apostle about each of the virtues in which we feel successful: not I, but the grace of God is with me; - and: by the grace of God I am, which I am (1 Cor. 15:10); - and: God is at work in us, both to will and to do well (Philippians 2:13); - as the Finisher of his salvation Himself says: whoever will be in Me, and I in him, he will create. the fruit is many: for without me you can do nothing (Jn. 15:5); - and the psalmist sings: unless the Lord builds the house, builders labor in vain: unless the Lord preserves the city, where the guards are in vain (Ps. 127: 1). And none of those who want and flow will is sufficient to ensure that, clothed with a flesh that fights against the spirit, he could, without a special cover of divine mercy, achieve perfect purity and purity and for that be worthy to receive what he so strongly desires and to which he flows so much. For every good gift and every perfect gift from above is descending from the Father of lights (James 1:17). What more imashi, did you take him? But if thou didst receive it, that thou boastest, for it is no reception (1 Corinthians 4:7).”

Attributing to oneself the works of God is the greatest foolishness. The one who will do everything for the glory of God will escape it.

“I say this not in order to humiliate human efforts, I would like to divert someone from caring and strenuous work. On the contrary, I resolutely assert - not by my opinion, but by the elders - that perfection without them cannot be obtained in any way, and by them alone, without the grace of God, it cannot be brought to the proper degree by anyone. For just as we say that human efforts of themselves without God's help cannot achieve it, so we affirm that the grace of God is communicated only to those who work in the sweat of their faces, or, in the words of the Apostle, is bestowed only on those who want and flow, judging also by the fact that in The 88th psalm is sung from the presence of God: put help on the strong, exalted the chosen one from the people (v. 20). Although, according to the word of the Lord, we say that to those who ask it is given, to those who push it is opened, and to those who seek it is found; but asking, seeking, and pushing in themselves are not sufficient for this, if the mercy of God does not give what we ask, does not open what we push into, and does not allow us to find what we are looking for. It is ready to grant us all this as soon as we give it an opportunity to do so by bringing in its good will: for much more than we do it desires and expects our perfection and salvation. And blj. David was so deeply aware of the impossibility of obtaining success in his work and work by his own efforts alone, that with a redoubled petition he asked to be honored, that the Lord Himself would correct his deeds, saying: and correct the work of our hands on us, and correct the work of our hands (Ps. 89:17). ); - and again: God strengthen this, which you have done in us (Ps. 67:29).

And so, it is necessary for us to strive for perfection in such a way, diligently fasting, vigils, prayers, contrition of heart and body, so that, puffed up with pride, not to do all this in vain. We must believe that not only can we not achieve perfection itself by our own efforts and labors, but we cannot do the very thing in which we practice to achieve it, that is, feats and various spiritual deeds, as we should without the help of the grace of God.

“Look at your nature, that you are earth and ashes and will soon be resolved into dust; now majestic, and after a little you will be a worm. What will you lift up a neck that will soon rot?
A man is something great when God helps him; and as soon as he is abandoned by God, he will know the weakness of his nature.

You have nothing good that you would not receive from God. Why do you magnify strangers as your own? Why do you boast of the grace of God given you as if it were your own acquisition?

Recognize the Giver and do not boast too much; you are a creature of God, do not depart from the Creator.

God helps you, do not deny the Benefactor; you ascended to the height of life, but God guided you; succeeded in virtue, but God worked in you; Confess Him Who has exalted, so that you may remain unwaveringly on high.”

“It is a shame to be conceited with other people's adornments, and extreme madness is to be proud of God's gifts. Exalt yourself only in those virtues that you did before you were born; and those that you fulfilled after birth, God gave you, as well as the birth itself. If you have corrected some virtues without the help of the mind, then let them only be yours, because the mind itself has been given to you by God. And if you showed any feats without a body, then they were only from your diligence; for the body is not yours - it is the creation of God.

Do not rely on your virtues until you hear the last saying about you from the Judge; for in the Gospel we see that even the one who was already reclining at the wedding supper was bound hand and foot, and cast out into outer darkness (Matthew 22:13).

Humility and the fear of God

Humility is a virtue that heals pride; the fear of God is an inoculation against pride.
Successful in the spiritual life is considered to be successful in humility, repentance, meekness and love. Whoever does not strive in humility walks in danger of spiritual perishing at any moment.

“So, if we want our building to rise to the very top and be pleasing to God, then let us try to lay a foundation for it not according to our self-pleasing will, but according to the exact gospel teaching, according to which such a foundation can be nothing else than the fear of God and humility born of meekness and simplicity of heart. Humility, however, cannot be acquired without being exposed to everything, without which it is by no means possible to establish oneself either in good obedience, or in firm patience, or in imperturbable meekness, or in perfect love; and without these, our heart by no means can be the habitation of the Holy Spirit, as the Lord proclaims about this through the prophet: whom I will look at, only the meek and silent, and trembling of my words (Is. 66: 2) ” .

“A pole supports a branch burdened with fruits, but the fear of God supports a virtuous soul.

Humility of wisdom is the crown of the house and the one who enters is kept safe.

A precious stone deserves a golden setting, and the humility of a husband shines with many virtues.

Do not forget your fall, though you repent; but remember your sin by weeping for your humility, so that, having humbled yourself, if necessary, cut off your pride.
“When holy humility begins to flourish in us, then we will begin to despise all human praise and glory. When it matures, then we will not only consider our good deeds as nothing, but also impute them to an abomination, thinking that we daily apply to the burden of their sins by the squandering of virtues unknown to us.

Diligent repentance and weeping, cleansed of all filthiness, erecting a temple of humility in the heart, destroy the shack of pride built on the sand [periph.].

The end of all passions is vanity and pride, for everyone who does not pay attention to himself. Their destroyer - humility - keeps his roommate unscathed from any deadly poison (passions).

Pride and respect for others

Pride inevitably leaves its mark on our relationships with neighbors, relatives, employees, colleagues and just people around us. At the same time, the nature of these relationships shows to what extent a person is infected with the passion of pride.
“Recognize your co-natural being that he is of the same essence as you, and do not deny your kinship with him out of arrogance.

He is humiliated, and you are exalted; but one Builder created both.

Do not neglect the humble; he stands firmer than you - he walks the earth - and will not fall soon; but the tall one, if he falls, will be crushed.

Do not look at the fallen ones with a arrogant thought that puffs you up like a judge, but listen to yourself with a sober thought - a tester and appraiser of your deeds.

“A horse, when he runs alone, it seems to him that he will soon run; but when he is on the run with others, then he knows his own slowness. (Compare yourself to the best and avoid conceit.)

If you want to acquire an unrelenting love for prayer, first train your heart not to despise the sins of others, but this must be preceded by hatred of vanity.

If we want to comprehend ourselves, let us not stop testing and torturing ourselves; and if in the true feeling of the soul we hold that each of our neighbors is more excellent than us, then the mercy of God is not far from us.

Being in a hostel, pay attention to yourself and do not at all try to appear more righteous than other brothers in anything; otherwise you will do two evils: you will hurt your brethren with your false and feigned zeal and you will give yourself a reason for arrogance.

Be zealous, but in your soul, not at all showing this in outward appeal, neither by appearance, nor by any word; nor a fortune-telling sign; in everything be like the brethren, in order to avoid arrogance.

If anyone notices that he is easily defeated by arrogance and irascibility, cunning and hypocrisy - and wants to draw against these enemies the double-edged sword of meekness and gentleness: let him hasten to enter, as it were, into the whitewash of salvation, into the cathedral of the brethren - and, moreover, the most severe when he wants completely get rid of their vicious habits; so that there, shaken by the annoyances, humiliations and anxieties of the brethren and struck by them mentally, and sometimes sensually oppressed, trampled and struck with heels, he could cleanse the robe of his soul from the filth that exists in it.

“Do not condemn your brother for inconstancy, lest you yourself fall into the same weakness…

Let<христианин>He has himself last of the last, and he will gain for himself hope.

For he who humbles himself will be exalted, but he who is lifted up will be humbled (Luke 18:14).

Do you want to be great? – Be the least of all (Mark 9:35).

If you see that your brother is sinning, and you see him in the morning, then do not despise him, recognizing him as a sinner in your thought: for you do not know that, perhaps, when you left him, he did something good after his fall and propitiated Lord with sighs and bitter tears.

One must refrain from judging others; each of us must humble ourselves, speaking of ourselves in the words of a psalm: My iniquities have surpassed my head, as a heavy burden is burdened on me (Ps. 37:5) ".

Fighting prideful thoughts

The grace of God leaves a person as soon as he accepts a proud thought. This is what distinguishes these thoughts from all others.

“Demons came to one of the most sensible brethren and appeased him. But this humble man said to them: “If you would stop praising me in my soul, then from your departure I would conclude that I am great; but if you do not stop praising me, then from your praise I see my uncleanness; for everyone who is arrogant in heart is unclean before the Lord (Prov. 16:5). So, either step aside so that I consider myself a great man; or praise, and I will gain great humility through you.” With this double-edged sword of reasoning they were so struck that they immediately disappeared.

Unclean demons secretly put praise into the heart of one attentive ascetic. But he, being instructed by divine inspiration, knew how to overcome the guile of the spirits by such pious cunning: he wrote on the wall of his cell the names of the highest virtues, i.e., perfect love, angelic humility, pure prayer, imperishable purity, and others like it. When later his thoughts began to praise him, he said to them: “Let’s go to the denunciation,” and, going up to the wall, he read the written names and added: “When you acquire all these virtues, know that you are still far from God” ...

Vigilantly observe pride with your spiritual eye, for between seductions there is nothing more destructive than this passion.

“Humble the thought of pride before pride humbles you. Put down the thought of arrogance before it puts you down. Crush lust before lust crushes you...

If the spirit of pride, or arrogance, or wealth disturbs you, then do not be carried away by it, but, on the contrary, stand courageously against the militias of an evil and flattering spirit. Imagine in your mind ancient buildings, dilapidated images, pillars corroded by rust - and think with yourself, and see where the owners and builders of all this are; and try to please the Lord, so that you may be worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven: for all flesh is like grass, and all the glory of man is like the flower of grass (1 Pet. 1:24). What is higher and more glorious than royal dignity and glory? But kings also pass away, and their glory. And those who have been rewarded with the Kingdom of Heaven will not experience anything like this, staying in heaven with the angels in peace and joy, without illness, sorrow and sighing, in joy and merriment, praising, glorifying and magnifying the King of Heaven and the Lord of all the earth.

If you come first to the service of God and stand to the end, let not this thought puff you up; for arrogance is like a hole in which a serpent nests and kills the one who approaches.

Signs of the disappearance of pride

“The signs of the disappearance of pride and the establishment of humility are the joyful lifting of reproach and humiliation, the quenching of rage and disbelief in one’s virtues.”

blasphemous thoughts

Blasphemous thoughts are one of those that come from pride and testify to infection with it.

“blasphemous thoughts are born from pride, but pride does not allow them to be revealed to the spiritual father. Why does it often happen that this disaster plunges others into despair, destroying all their hope, like a worm that wears away a tree.

There are no thoughts that (because of pride) would be so difficult to confess as a blasphemous thought; wherefore it often abides in many until old age. But, meanwhile, nothing strengthens demons and evil thoughts against us so much as the fact that we do not confess them, but hide them in our hearts - that feeds them.

No one should think that he is guilty of blasphemous thoughts; for the Lord is a knower of hearts and knows that such words and thoughts are not ours, but our enemies.
Let us learn to despise the spirit of blasphemy and, by no means paying attention to the thoughts he puts in, to say to him: follow me, Satan; I worship the Lord my God, and I will serve Him alone; but thy sickness and thy words shall be turned upon thy head, and thy blasphemy shall come down upon thy head, both in this age and in the future (Ps. 7:17).

Whoever despises this enemy is freed from his torment; and whoever intends to fight him otherwise, he will prevail. He who wants to overcome the spirits with words is like one who tries to block the winds.

Humility and thanksgiving to God. humility

“We must always give thanks to God, not only for the fact that He created us reasonable, endowed us with the ability of free will, bestowed the grace of baptism, gave the keeping of the law to help, but also for what He gives us by His daily providence for us, namely: frees us from the slanders of the enemy, helps us overcome carnal passions, covers us without our knowledge from dangers, protects us from falling into sin, helps and enlightens us in the knowledge and understanding of the requirements of His law, secretly breathes contrition for negligence and our sins, saving us corrects, honoring a special visitation, sometimes even against our will draws us to salvation. Finally, our freest will, more inclined to passions, directs to a better, soul-beneficial action and turns to the path of virtue by visiting His influence on it ...

Why is it that a warrior of Christ, who, legally struggling with a spiritual feat, desires to be crowned by the Lord, should try in every possible way to exterminate this fierce beast as the devourer of all virtues, being sure that while he is in his heart, then it will not only be impossible for him to be freed from all passions, but what if he takes some virtue, and she will perish from his poison. For the edifice of virtues cannot be erected in our soul unless the foundations of true humility are laid in advance in our heart, which, being most strongly built, is only one thing and strongly restrains to the top the erected edifice of perfection and love. For this it is necessary for us, firstly, to express true humility in front of our brethren with a sincere disposition, not allowing ourselves to grieve or offend them in any way, which we cannot do unless, out of love for Christ, the true renunciation of everything is deeply rooted in us. , consisting in the complete nakedness of oneself from any acquisition; secondly, it is necessary in simplicity of heart and without any pretense to accept the yoke of obedience and submission, so that, apart from the commandment of the abba, no other will lives in us at all; that no one can be observed, except for one who not only considers himself dead to this world, but also considers himself unreasonable and stupid, and without any reflection does everything that the elders command, by faith that everything is sacred and is proclaimed from God Himself …

When we keep in such a mood, then, without any doubt, such an imperturbable and unchanging state of humility will follow that, considering ourselves the lowest of all, we will most patiently endure everything that is inflicted on us, no matter how vain it may be, insulting or even harmful, as if it were imposed on us from our principal fathers (as an obedience or a test). And not only will all this be easily endured by us, but also revered as small and insignificant, if, moreover, we constantly keep in memory and feeling the suffering of our Lord and all the saints, because then the slander that we experience will seem to us as much easier as far as we stand. we from their great deeds and fruitful life. The inspiration for patience emanating from here will be even stronger if, at the same time, we think that we too will soon migrate from this world and at the soon end of our life we ​​will immediately become partners in their blessedness and glory. Such thinking is fatal not only to pride, but to all passions. After that, we should firmly hold such humility before God; what will be fulfilled by us if we nurture the conviction that we ourselves, without His help and grace, cannot do anything that relates to the perfection of virtue, and we sincerely believe that the very thing that we have managed to comprehend is His gift » .

“Without humility of mind, every achievement, every abstinence, every obedience, every non-possessiveness, every great learning is in vain ...

He who exalts himself, prepares dishonor for himself; but whoever serves his neighbor in humility will be glorified...

The novice, who does not have humility, does not have a weapon against the enemy; and such will suffer a great defeat...

Great is the progress and great is the glory of humility of wisdom, and there is no fall in it. It is a sign of humility to meet the needs of a brother with both hands, just as you yourself would accept an allowance.

A proud and rebellious man will see bitter days; but the humble and patient will always rejoice in the Lord...

If you also study all the divine Scriptures, be careful, contrary to the Scriptures, that the thought does not puff you up with this; because all inspired Scripture teaches us humility. And whoever thinks or does the opposite of what he studied, he thereby shows that he is a criminal ...

In every place and in every deed, may humility be with you. For as the body needs clothing, whether it be warm or cold outside; so the soul has an everlasting need to clothe itself with humility of wisdom. It is better to go about naked and barefoot than to be naked of humility; because the Lord covers those who love it.
Have a humble way of thinking, so that, exalted on high, you will not break in a terrible fall.

The beginning of humility is humility. Let humility of mind be with you both the foundation and the garment of the answer; but let your speech be simple and friendly in the love of God. Arrogance does not obey, disobediently, disobediently, is led by its own thought. And humility of mind obediently, submissively, modestly, gives honor to both the small and the big…

There is no humility in this, for a sinner to regard himself as a sinner: but humility of wisdom consists in this, realizing that there is much and greatness in oneself, and not imagining anything great about oneself. He is humble-wise, who is like Paul, but says of himself: nothing in himself (1 Corinthians 4:4), or: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, but I am the first of them (1 Tim. 1:15). So, to be high in merit and to humble oneself in the mind - this is humility of wisdom.

Portrait of a humble man
Humble

To know how to acquire humility, you need to know what are the guidelines for acquiring this virtue, what to strive for, and what a humble person looks like.

“The humble man does not boast, does not pride himself, serving the Lord out of fear of Him. The humble man does not establish his own will by contradicting the truth, but obeys the truth. The humble person does not envy the success of his neighbor and does not rejoice in his contrition (fall), but, on the contrary, rejoices with those who rejoice and weeps with those who weep. The humble one does not humiliate himself in deprivation and poverty, and is not haughty in prosperity and glory, but constantly abides in the same virtue. A humble person does not get irritable, does not offend anyone, does not quarrel with anyone. The humble person will not be stubborn and not lazy, even if at midnight they call him to work; because he placed himself in obedience to the commandments of the Lord. The humble knows neither vexation nor guile, but in simplicity serves the Lord, living peacefully with everyone. The humble, if he hears a reprimand, does not grumble, and if he is stifled, he will not run out of patience; because he is a disciple of him who endured the cross for us. A humble person hates self-esteem, why he does not seek primacy, but considers himself in this world, as it were, a temporary swimmer on a ship.

Distinguishing Traits and Signs of a Person Who Has True Humility

“The distinctive features and signs of a person who has true humility are the following: consider yourself a sinner more than all sinners who have not done anything good before God, reproach yourself at any time, in any place and for any deed, do not blaspheme anyone and not find on earth a person who would be more sinful and negligent than himself, but always praise and glorify everyone, never condemn, humiliate or slander anyone, be silent at all times and say nothing without an order or extreme need; when they ask and there is an intention or extreme need forces you to speak and answer, then speak quietly, calmly, rarely, as if under compulsion and with shame; do not expose yourself to the measure in anything, do not argue with anyone about faith or anything else; but if anyone speaks well, say to him: yes; and if it’s bad, answer: as you know; to be in subjection and to abhor one's own will, as something pernicious; to have a drooping gaze always to the ground; to have your death before your eyes, never idle talk, do not talk idle, do not lie, do not contradict the highest; to endure insults, humiliation and loss with joy, to hate peace and love work, not to upset anyone, not to hurt anyone's conscience. These are the signs of true humility; and blessed is he who has them; because here it still begins to be the house and temple of God, and God dwells in it - and it becomes the heir to the Kingdom.

Strive for this, and you will become a beloved child and friend of God.

Basic patristic rules for curing the passion of pride

With patience and gratitude, accept the reproofs of others.

Try to be obedient to someone.

Do not attribute to yourself the deeds and glory of God: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory”; “It is not I who create and do, but the grace of God is with me.”

Have humility and the fear of God. To despise the praise and glory of men. Cut off proud thoughts.

Prayerfully ascend against pride:

Ps. 135:23).

Humble yourself and save me (Ps. 115:5).

Every arrogant person is unclean before the Lord (Prov. 16:5).

Prayer for pride

The Holy Fathers left us examples of prayer addresses and offerings that help us sober up from pride.

“As a remedy for pride, read more often the following and other similar passages of Scripture directed against it:

When you have done all that is commanded to you, say: as if we were servants without keys (Lk. 17:10).

If anyone imagines himself to be a worthless person, he flatters himself with his mind (Gal. 6:3). . Ibid., pp. 110–111. . Ibid., pp. 112–113. . Ibid S. 521. . Ibid., pp. 114–115. . Ibid., pp. 675–679. . Ibid., pp. 526–527.
St. Ephrem the Syrian. Ibid., pp. 530–531.
St. Ephrem the Syrian. Ibid., pp. 521–522.

arch. Sergiy Filimonov

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Pride is excessive self-confidence, arrogance and arrogance of a person who puts himself a step above the rest. With this vice, a person quite often considers himself undeservedly offended, worries if his talents are not praised, and he himself often behaves boorishly with others. Even the Bible condemns pride, referring it to the seven deadly sins. An overestimated ego in most cases makes it difficult to adequately assess the existing reality, therefore it is necessary to get rid of such an attitude towards oneself and society.

The main reasons for the development of pride

The formation of arrogance and arrogance is usually based on the following factors:

• Wrong parenting model. Some parents inspire children from childhood that they are better in all respects than their peers. As a result, the child grows up as an egoist, who already at a more mature age begins to consider himself a celestial.
• Luck in everything. There is such a category of people whom Fortune loves. A person begins to perceive luck in life as a due fact, attributing it to his exceptional abilities and eventually becoming an arrogant person.
• Having a bright appearance. Beautiful people are quite often frankly proud of their outstanding external data. And they do not miss the opportunity to get the maximum benefit, as well as emphasize their superiority over the rest. In especially severe cases, they exalt themselves so much that they almost completely lose touch with others, because they are not able to withstand an arrogant attitude and narcissism.
• Activation of the protective mechanism. Low self-esteem can also lead to ostentatious pride, just like good looks. Afraid of being ridiculed, a person with complexes begins to demonstrate his "unique" mental abilities and put himself above ordinary people.
• Living in metropolitan areas. Some snobs, having their homes in large cities, openly make it clear to the provincials that they are second-class people for them. The arrogant persons demonstrate their superiority over them, sometimes without even having an education and a prestigious job.
• Aristocratic roots. The reasons for pride often lie precisely in this factor. The well-known expressions "blue blood" and "white bone" in themselves indicate that some people consider themselves the elite of society.

Important! Whatever the origins of the formation of pride, it is rather difficult to call such people pleasant persons. They have practically no friends, because few people like a dismissive attitude towards themselves.

Man's manifestations of pride

It is not difficult to calculate people with the described warehouse of character, because they behave defiantly and in some cases even aggressively:

1. Ignoring other people's opinions. Reflections of relatives and strangers are not just not listened to, but are initially refuted by arrogant people. For people with pride, there are no authorities, except from the point of view of their own person.
2. Striving to be the first. It can even be said that a person with a similar disposition of character does not try to seem the best of the best, but considers himself as such. Rivalry arises only if there is an equally proud person in his way.
3. Unreasonable criticism of people. The imperfection of everyone and everyone is quite clearly formulated by a person with an informal behavior model. The illusion of grandeur leads him ultimately to hardness of heart and a complete lack of tact when communicating with the interlocutor.
4. selfishness. Proud people usually go to extremes, believing themselves to be either the center of the universe, or having many hidden complexes. At the first problem, it is very difficult to maintain contact with such a person, because he is capable of doing unworthy acts in order to satisfy his own needs.
5. Desire to lead everyone. Considering even the immediate environment as small people, people with signs of pride try to become leaders in any team. Power in this case goes beyond all the boundaries of permissible moral norms, causing discontent among the most peaceful persons who are faced with such an attitude towards themselves.
6. Failure to be grateful. The proud take signs of attention to their person as a due event. Dividing people according to statuses and categories, they do not consider themselves obligated to anyone because they are assigned to a lower rank in society.
7. Vanity. If an individual has such a quality as pride, he cannot calmly observe happy and successful people. Consequently, persons with a bad and arrogant character will try to assert themselves at the expense of others in all spheres of human activity.
8. Boasting. To show off in front of a large audience is a hallmark of the proud. Many of their stories about everyday life, love affairs and rapid career growth actually turn out to be banal lies or undeniable embellishments of facts.
9. Pathos. If a person has pride, all his speeches will be filled with magnificent phrases and complex terms. With such a demonstration of intelligence and erudition, they are trying to show their education, emphasizing that it was received at a well-known and prestigious educational institution.

Ways to deal with pride in yourself

Psychologists say that such a defect over time can lead to complete degradation of the individual. Therefore, it is necessary to seriously think about how to get rid of the existing problem.

Work on yourself while showing pride

A person cannot cope on his own only with those pathologies that seriously distort his vision of the world and his place in it. In other cases, you can put on the agenda the following ways to rehabilitate yourself as a person:

• Recognition that there is a problem. The first step to realizing your dream of becoming a full member of society should be the decision to observe your own behavior from the outside. Pride is not an innate feature of character, because they do not appear with such a vice, but form it in themselves during their lives.
• Analysis of your own ambitions. After recognizing the existence of a certain problem, it is necessary to understand what exactly irritates a person in other people. You can limit communication with such personalities without projecting their shortcomings onto literally every person. However, in most cases, a detailed analysis shows the groundlessness of personal claims against most people.
• Keeping a diary. It is recommended to divide it into two parts, which will describe the positive aspects of pride and the negative consequences of its occurrence. After a week of observation in this way, many people will be unpleasantly surprised by the comparison of both sections of the diary.
• Teaching Humility. This quality helps a lot in life, because a person does not try to jump above his head. However, the proud man should not go to extremes and try to engage in self-flagellation instead of understanding his actions, while becoming a puppet in the hands of some unscrupulous personalities.
• Refusal to evaluate people. The inner circle of the obstinate and strangers to him are not at all obliged to comply with his criteria of morality and fictitious norms of behavior in society. In response to such a desire to change acquaintances or colleagues, he will receive only a wave of negativity, which can be prevented by abstracting from other people's shortcomings.
• Politeness training. The culture of communication implies tolerance and a sense of tact towards the interlocutor. This rule should become a law for a person with a vice in the form of pride. You can also read Dale Carnegie's The Language of Success, How to Win People, and How to Win Friends.
• Work on self-realization. It is necessary not to suffer from delusions of grandeur, but in fact to work on yourself daily. Proud people often have a feeling of envy towards more successful people. Such a negative surge of emotions will not happen to them only if they themselves take place as individuals.
• Accepting constructive criticism. It is difficult not to respond to any insult with some kind of taunt, but with wise advice, you must learn to listen to them. In some cases, someone else's experience is invaluable information. In addition, people are attracted to an interlocutor who knows how to listen and respects their opinion.
• Altruism. Such a confrontation with one's own selfishness will be an excellent means of combating pride. In addition, changes in behavior in this direction will allow you to expand your social circle and make real friends.
• Doing dirty work. Some people who consider themselves the elite of society refuse to do any activities that are unpleasant for them. If you want to get rid of pride, you can work in the garden or do the general cleaning in the house yourself. A new stage in life has come when it is necessary to forget about the old habits of the white hand.
• Rejection of flattering friends. Pride can appear even in a tolerant person, before whom hypocritical friends openly fawn. This is done both out of a desire to get closer to a more popular person in society, and for selfish purposes. Such communication will bring nothing but harm, therefore it is necessary to stay away from insincere people.
• Using the Prayer of Repentance. This method of getting rid of pride will help believing parishioners. In addition, while reading it, the soul calms down, and all gloomy thoughts leave the mind. The words of the prayer can be arbitrary, provided that they come from the heart itself.

Any of the proposed ways to eliminate pride in one's soul is an accessible method for every person. The main thing at the same time is to have the desire to correct the situation and establish contact with people around you.

Help from psychologists if you want to get rid of pride

In parallel with your own attempts to change your life for the better, you can put into practice the following tips from experts:

1. The method of mental bows. This method is quite popular in Asian countries, where there are also enough proud people. When meeting even with a person of lower status and prosperity, it is necessary to bow to her in the mind. In this way, an act of respect will be performed that effectively combats the ambitions of an arrogant individual.
2. Projection method. If you have pride, you must mentally imagine the internal dialogue of your friends. In a conversation with them, some half-hints of dissatisfaction with the haughty behavior clearly slipped through. Thinking unflatteringly about other people, one should assume what opinion they may have about an arrogant person on their part.
3. Analysis-matching. Anti-heroes of all times and peoples have always been proud, even with their existing complexes. This list can start with Lucifer (Satan) and end with dictators who are guilty of the destruction of a huge number of people. A small percentage of patients after such a session with a psychotherapist with an accompanying thematic conversation will want to be like people with negative energy.
4. Perishable Glory Analysis Method. A minute of triumph at the expense of humiliating another person is not worth the loneliness in the future after condemnation by the inner circle. When asked how to get rid of pride, one should make a virtual journey into the future in order to descend from heaven to earth and soberly assess one's attitude towards people.
5. The principle of "inside is equal to outside". Some external factors need to be changed in parallel with the correction of one's own "I". You can change the situation for a while, replacing it with more modest apartments. It is also recommended to review your diet, replacing expensive delicacies with cheaper healthy foods.
6. group therapy. In some cases, experts recommend that proud people communicate with people with the same problem. Someone else's bitter experience is often perceived better than learning from your own mistakes. During such sessions, patients talk about themselves, recognizing the presence of arrogance and arrogance in their character.

How to get rid of pride - look at the video:

The question posed to oneself, how to deal with pride, already testifies to a person’s desire to change his life and attitude towards other people. It remains only to listen to the voiced recommendations in order to get rid of the existing problem of a personal nature once and for all.

Pride is useful and necessary for a person. It allows you to follow beliefs, maintain inner balance, maintain self-respect, not let yourself be humiliated, teaches you to value yourself. But what to do if pride has grown into pride - a cocktail of pride, selfishness, arrogance and arrogance. Believers consider it a mortal sin. Psychology, on the other hand, will say that pride interferes with personal development, building relationships, and moving up the career ladder. For pride people always have to pay dearly. - one of the payment options.

The study of pride is at the intersection of psychology, philosophy and ethics. Pride is the opposite of humility. A proud person is not able to make compromises, concessions, sacrifice something (sometimes himself).

It’s not shameful to be proud of well-deserved successes, but it’s not good to constantly insert your “I” into the topic and not. A proud person looks at everything with contempt. And in fact, he does not respect himself, although he positions himself almost as the creator of the whole world.

Pride is attributing great merit and dignity to oneself, overestimating oneself against the background of belittling the dignity of other people. A proud person believes that only he is worthy of attention, praise, admiration. Because of his belief that other people do not deserve attention, and people can and should be treated like things, the carrier of pride receives the hatred of the environment and persecution.

What else is dangerous pride:

• A person forgets that he is not perfect, that failures happen to everyone, and circumstances do not always turn out the way we want.
• The more pride is fed and developed, the less a person conducts an internal dialogue and the more he blames the universe itself, he does not see his guilt in the causes of failures.
• After this, the process of self-destruction of the personality often begins, escape from reality, and the experiences themselves, negative emotions have a destructive effect on the body.
• Pride does not allow concessions, provokes. As a result, friends and loved ones turn away from a person, but the proud man himself does not understand that he betrayed everything for the sake of his pride.
• If pride is combined with cruelty, then a tyrant will appear before us.

Pride and pride

Pride is the result of overcoming difficulties, working on oneself, conscious actions, confirmation of the value of a person. Pride wants to show - and that's fine. Because the heroes are revered in front of the audience, they shoot reports about them. If you have something to be proud of, then you need to do it. These are pleasant and useful emotions.

What is interesting: for the emergence of pride, it is necessary to identify yourself with a reason for pride. We can admire the actions of other people, but only if this is a person close to us, we will experience a sense of pride in him and our involvement in this person. According to this principle, one can be proud of a friend, family, country.

What is the difference between pride and pride?

• Pride is a moral feeling. It includes self-sufficiency, self-esteem, personal independence. At the same time, it is awareness of the conformity of actions to values ​​and beliefs. Pride can be felt for oneself or for another person.
• Pride encourages and motivates to new achievements and self-development. It makes a person believe in their own strength, see their capabilities and potential, strive for the best.
• Pride can only be in relation to the person himself, his Ego. Moreover, this person does not necessarily have reasons to be proud of himself. Pride can be based on one and an unhealthy sense of self-worth (significance). Pride slows down, separates a person from society.

Prideful people are prone to envy. They often claim someone else's place, regardless of what is completely inconsistent with it. The owner of pride always has excessive demands, he is always dissatisfied and expects more. For he sincerely believes that his beautiful personality deserves all the best and constantly something new. Such people in absentia consider the world to be bad, they try to put every person in their place (as the proud sees).

Reasons for the development of pride

Unfortunately, normal and useful pride can develop into pride - groundless and exaggerated pride and a number of other immoral qualities. But pride and such an arrogant attitude towards the world does not necessarily follow from adequate pride.

• Roots can go into, complexes. Then pride is a variant of overcompensation.
• Another possible reason: a person despises others because of his social status, moreover, coming from the family (parents achieved it, but the proud man himself did nothing at all, but inflated his Ego).

How to get rid

To overcome pride, you need to cultivate humility in yourself - the realization that there is no limit to perfection, the recognition of one's imperfection and the ability to meet the circumstances.

This is not a philosophy of slavery or the cultivation of self-denial. Although, unfortunately, so many people understand the term humility, identifying it with patience. In fact, this is a certain wisdom, resignation to the fact that no one is perfect: neither we ourselves, nor the world as a whole. This is humility with the fact that not everything is subject to man: we are not given the opportunity to change the structure of the world and the consciousness of mankind in the broad sense of the word. There are some objective things, laws, and also subjective opinions of other people. This must be taken into account, that is, put up with, take into account and correct your behavior within the framework of this concept.

Which involuntarily suggests the second element of getting rid of pride: getting rid of unhealthy egoism, developing an adequate attitude towards people. Moreover, this is not about altruism, but about the golden mean, when you do something for the benefit of yourself and society at the same time.

Except with the help of self-control, you cannot change your thinking and behavior.

1. First of all, set the main goal: for the sake of what you want to get rid of pride. "Just because it's sinful and bad" won't do. Write down on paper what pride has deprived you of, and what you can gain (what abilities, statuses, what people) by getting rid of it. Highlight the main goal, for example, "by getting rid of pride, I will establish a relationship with my loved one, because I want to be with him."
2. Further, it is important to learn how to turn to people for advice and be interested in their opinion. First exercise: ask to make your portrait. Since you are proud, then it’s better not to give this task for independent execution for the time being. But people from the outside will honestly and, most likely, adequately describe your advantages and disadvantages. Accept this portrait without any arguments.
3. Further, the plan is individual: what is written in a negative way - we remove it, what is written in a positive way - we return, develop, instill.
4. . Ask their opinion regularly and listen to what other people have to say. You must understand that each person is an individual and interesting person with their own rights and beliefs. A good exercise is watching movies with further discussion. You can discuss with friends, or you can retell the story on behalf of different characters.
5. Practice and only practice. Every day do something that is below your dignity (as you think). Just please don't go to extremes, you don't need real humiliation. Your goal is to recycle pride into pride, and not completely kill the sense of self-worth.
6. Do not be afraid of kind words and gratitude. There should be more of them in your vocabulary than reproaches and criticism. Develop along with it.

Pride is a worm that causes processes of decay in the human soul. It is possible to eradicate it, but it is not easy to do it, and one cannot do without help. Admitting your imperfections and asking for help is the first but most important step. If you were able to say "I suffer from pride and that's why I'm not perfect", then you can no longer be categorically called a proud person.

The main thing is not to reject this help. Those people who agreed to help deserve a widow more pleasant words, because it is not easy to endure a proud man. To do this, you need to see the positive potential. And if someone saw it, then you have every chance of success if you yourself see your true potential.

To fight pride, you must immediately take on all the passions generated by it.

Why is it so important to fight both the ailments of dominant passion and the ailment of pride at the same time? I will give a simple everyday example. Who among you was engaged in gardening knows: when a beetroot or turnip grows and you want to cook borscht, then you pull it by the young tops, and it breaks off, remains in your hand, and the turnip or beetroot is in the ground. To pull it out, wise gardeners take all the leaves of the tops at once, closer to the root, and pull - then only the root crop that sits in the ground is completely pulled out. So, in order to draw out the passion of pride, one must immediately take on all the passions manifested by it: irritation, pride, despondency, fighting them and at the same time asking the Lord to give humility and meekness. That's when pride kicks in.

The struggle with pride begins with small, external

A proud person is also recognizable outwardly - he loves to laugh, talks a lot, fusses and shows himself, all the time trying to show himself. Therefore, during the year, I bless you to work on this inner problem: to seek the last place, not to show yourself, not to stick out, not to justify yourself, not to boast, not to push ahead, not to exalt yourself.

Here it is, the struggle with pride. You have to start small. If a person wants to start fighting with his pride, then he must find a worse place for himself and sit there; when everyone is talking - be silent; when everyone is boasting, do not open your mouth and speak only when asked.

To defeat pride, you need to learn obedience to the Church and obedience to the confessor, cutting off your own will.

I tried to convey to you how terrible pride is, how our own "ego" uses us, how we want to live for our own benefit. But in order to become a disciple of Christ and acquire the mind, heart and soul of Christ, you need to forget yourself and see your neighbor. How difficult it is! All the strings of the soul protest. Why should I think about someone, comfort someone, help someone? I don't have to. I have my own life, my own problems. Why do I need someone else, why do I need all these strangers?

But these people are not strangers. These are the ones the Lord has placed around you today. So that you can save your soul, remake yourself, remove your “I” so far that it does not protrude, and another person stands in the first place for you. It is impossible without this to become a disciple of Christ, for the Lord says: “If anyone wants to follow Me, deny himself, and take up your cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23). ). “He who saves his soul will lose it; but he who loses his life for my sake will save it” (Matthew 10:39; Mark 8:35; Luke 9:24). These are the words we hear in the Gospel. What do they mean? That a person is called for the sake of love for God and neighbor not getting enough sleep, malnourished, wasting time, nerves, strength. But modern man does not want to do this, because he sees only himself and boils in his own juice.

Do you want to be disciples of Christ? Deny yourself and learn to see God in your neighbor who is near you. Turn over everything that lives in the soul, and put it in proper order, as the Lord blesses. And the passion of pride will begin to heal in your souls.

Repentance is pharisaic and unfalse

It seems that you go to church, and you have reason to think that everything is in order, you have finally begun to live as a Christian. But with such an attitude, the heart begins to be covered with a film of spiritual fat, it becomes impenetrable, lazy, soft. But the Lord is not pleased, and the Lord will always disturb your soul. We seem to calm down - and we do not see our sins to the end. Constantly looking for sins in oneself and bringing them to confession is the path to delusion. Another thing is when the Lord, by His grace, opens our eyes to our sinfulness. I want you to catch the difference between what the Lord says in relation to the Pharisees: “blind guides, straining out a gnat, but swallowing a camel” (Matt. 23:24), and the situation when we pray to God, repent to Him, try to cleanse our soul - and our eyes are opened to all the torment of our inner man, we see how imperfect, weak we are; and this prompts us to deep repentance, leads to confession. When a person seeks out sins in himself, this often happens according to the Pharisee; it is embarrassing for him to go to confession and not say anything to the priest. He thinks: “What can I say about myself? It seems to be not quite a saint, but I can’t find sins. ” And another thing is when a person’s heart is bursting with understanding of what is happening in it. These are two qualitatively different states. The first is the hypocrisy of the Pharisees; in the second we abide unfalsely.

Consider the parable of the publican and the Pharisee. The Pharisee stood humbly in the temple, but at the same time he said: “God! I thank You that I am not like other people, robbers, offenders, adulterers, or like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11). This is the way to elevate yourself through the humiliation of others. The publican repeated: “God! Be merciful to me, a sinner!” (Luke 18:13). This is the way of self-abasement.

We ask you to open the doors of our stone heart

The second path leads to the opening of the doors of the heart, while the first one closes them. The difference between these two paths is often seen in confession. Some begin to repent and at the same time look for someone to blame for their sins; whoever provokes them: the husband, the neighbors in the front door, the housekeepers, the authorities, the President, the head of the district, the priest - all together. When everyone around is pushing to commit a sin, the person himself seems to have nothing to do with it: yes, he sinned - but he could not help but sin, because he was hurt. He thinks: "How could I not sin here, I will share the guilt with everyone, and they are sinners, and I am sinful." This is a direct path to delusion - the path of covering up your sins, running away from them, unwillingness to see your weakness and honestly say: “Lord, I am lazy, I am selfish, I love myself, I am hard-hearted. It’s not someone else’s fault that I don’t get up for prayer, that I want to break the fast or do something else, it’s not others who are to blame, I myself am to blame for this.”

During Great Lent, we kneel at the All-Night Vigil and hear: “Open the door of repentance for us.” And where do these doors lead, where are they? It's about the doors of your own heart. We ask God to give us the opportunity to enter into the depths of our heart and know ourselves unfairly. We ask: “Open the door of repentance, Life-giver Christ” – so that at last the key to our stone heart is found, so that we can see what is inside, feel, repent, and be cleansed. These are the doors we are talking about and what we ask the Lord for.

Forgive, bless, pray for me

The Holy Fathers have left us many great pieces of advice, and one of them concerns how to stop irritation, which, perhaps justly, or perhaps unjustly, flares up in relation to another person. According to the patristic advice, in such a situation a person should remember three words worthy of a Christian. Those three words: "Forgive, bless and pray for me." They spiritually influence the one who proves something to you.

Of course, at work, these words are most likely not to be uttered. Most of our work is secular, and many of our employees are unbelievers. If you say in front of them what the holy fathers advise, you will simply be considered insane. But in a believing family, or in obedience to the Church, or in relation to an Orthodox Christian - a friend or sister - these three words are enough to stop the mouth of any anger, to immediately, in the bud, extinguish any hostility and any irritation.

Think about these three simple words. "Sorry, bless and pray for me." “Sorry” means the person is asking for forgiveness. Here is the first indicator of humility. He does not say: I'm right or I'm wrong, he doesn't talk a lot about himself, he doesn't start reasoning and he doesn't promise - now let's figure out which of us is right. He says, "I'm sorry." The subtext of this “sorry” is that I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but I’m sorry anyway if I upset you like my brother. Then the person says: "Bless." This means that he calls on the grace of God for help. The one that really manages, which will die a brother or sister, will pacify the situation, which will extinguish all the intrigues of the devil in relation to the fact that a person quarreled with a person. And when he adds, "Pray for me," that is the third sign of humility. A person asks for prayers for himself, so that the grace of God will help him to really do deeds of truth.

Thus, a person really grows rich in God, and not in himself. He does not feed his granary of pride, he does not fill his vanity bin with the obscene grain of pride, but grows rich in God, exhausts himself, bows before his neighbor, humbles himself before his neighbor, asks his holy prayers and calls on the grace of God for help.

Inspire your neighbor no more than twice

How, however, to be a person who is trying to reason with another, to convey the truth to him? Well, if he came across such a believer who really humbled himself and acted on the advice. A person who behaves like this brings peace to communication between people, between Christians. But if this is not the case, if thousands of excuses sound in response to admonition?

We, Orthodox, are like spiritual lumberjacks. We have such a spiritual saw, and we saw our neighbor with it until the juice comes out of him. This is typical of our environment. How can we stop in time so that our neighbor does not squeal, weep and groan from our good admonitions, and at the same time our pride does not develop? For this, too, there is a corresponding patristic council. He says the following: inspire your neighbor no more than twice. The Holy Fathers have verified this. If a person repeats something more than twice, then dislike will appear in his soul, then irritation, then anger.

How to be? How to be in this situation - the neighbor does not obey? It is required to convey to the consciousness of a person a very important life circumstance - to explain something to a child, a family member, a colleague - but it does not work. The holy fathers say: say twice and stop. Otherwise, irritation will come into your soul, anger will come into your soul, and you will no longer admonish your neighbor like a Christian, but with passion, with hostility. And instead of admonishment, a quarrel can turn out.

Who benefits from a quarrel? Manslayer-devil. God doesn't need a fight. Better a bad peace than a good quarrel. Better a family that survives than a broken family. Better friends who keep in touch than friends who squint at each other. Better is a community of people where there is peace, albeit a bad peace, weak, but peace, than enmity, quarrel and hostility towards each other. This must be understood. And take care of what the Lord gives us.

Therefore, here are two patristic pieces of advice for you, very instructive for both sides - for the one who admonishes and for the one who is admonished. Let's repeat them again.

The first piece of advice: do not admonish more than twice, do not try to force the will of another with your will. Say it twice, and then leave everything to the will of God. Wait for the Lord to enlighten a person, when He opens his heart and soul so that your words lie on good ground. If you continue to rape a person, you will get anger, irritation, a quarrel, and, moreover, you will cultivate pride in your own soul.

And the second piece of advice is for the sensible: under no circumstances try to make excuses. Who needs your excuses? Nobody needs them. With them you will only push your neighbor away from you, you will cause despondency in him, quarrel with him, move away from him, lose a friend. Therefore, there is no need, no need to make excuses. Whether you're right or wrong, no one cares. God sees everything. God sees your heart, your soul. Say three simple words of humility: "I'm sorry, bless and pray for me."

Act according to the righteousness of God, not human

Human justice is very connected with human flesh. She forgets about mercy to her neighbors and has nothing to do with the Gospel of God. This justice is a law which a man writes for his own convenience, or for the convenience of his life, or for the convenience of self-justification, or for his other conveniences.

Elder Paisius gives a simple example. You have ten plums, and you have decided to divide them between you and your brother. You say that there are two of you, and you divide them by five, exactly equally. This is human justice. There is nothing shameful in it, it is an ordinary act of an ordinary person. Everyone remained with his own, neither you are offended, nor your brother. What will be the injustice? If you gave less to your neighbor and took more for yourself. And somehow he justified himself at the same time: “I’m older and more experienced,” or “this morning I read three prayers, and you two, and I’m supposed to have six plums, and you have four - you were too lazy.” But in fact, in the heart, gluttony prospered latently. I just wanted to eat six plums, even if I cheated my neighbor. Such is human injustice. But there is still the justice of God, when a person saw that his neighbor was hungry, that he was in need, that he longed for plums - and for the sake of his neighbor he yielded. He says: “Friend, eat eight plums, I don’t like them, and in general my stomach swells from them; I don’t need these plums, I ate enough, eat these eight for Christ’s sake. This is divine justice.

See how the three justices differ from each other? So it is in the life of God: the justice of God is always associated with some kind of limitation, self-abasement and sacrifice for the sake of one's neighbor, when a person sacrifices either time, or something dear to him, or what is sent to him.

We see this in the gospel parable. The father has two sons. And the father first acts according to human justice. How does he divide his estate between the eldest son and the youngest? in half. The youngest son wanted half the estate - please get half the estate. The father does not ask his son: “What will you do with him, what will you turn him into?”, and in human justice he gives him half the estate. We do not know the true motives of the youngest son - whether it was greed or foresight - but we see a truly human act: he took away half of his father's estate in his favor.

We saw something similar in the pages of the Old Testament, when Lot and Abraham almost quarreled with each other over pastures for their animals. And how did the holy righteous Abraham act? “We, relatives, will not quarrel over who got the best and who got the worst,” and the elder yields to the younger. He invites Lot to choose pastures that he likes. And what does Lot choose? Sodom and Gomorrah. We know what the green pastures of Sodom and Gomorrah turned out to be for him. He barely carried his legs from there, lost his wife there, all his belongings, all animals and slaves. Abraham acts in righteousness, out of love, but Lot acts in a human way. In one lives the desire for human justice, and in the other, God's justice. And Lot then disentangles this human justice, remains poor, in rags, desecrated and ridiculed. But Abraham prospered, and prospers.

We see the same thing on the pages of the gospel narrative. The younger son, having desired what did not belong to him, and having acted not in a divine way, having taken away the polymenia from his father and elder brother, went to another country. He lived fornication, squandered everything he had, and as a result, it turned out to be his lot - to eat along with the owner's pigs. And then a conscience woke up in him, he turns to God, he goes back to his father. The father sees the resurrected son, the converted son, returned to the bosom of the father, and acts according to the righteousness of God, he accepts the son and does not regret anything for him. With a generous hand he kills a well-fed calf, with a generous hand he prepares all kinds of dishes, gathers guests for a feast and rejoices with his son at his return.

And what about the eldest son, who all these years remained with his father? In human truth. With bitterness, he says to his father the same thing that we often reproach our relatives and friends - that they treat us differently than others. “Why do you treat me differently than you treat my older sister, my brother? Why did you give your brother the opportunity to live with his family in a separate apartment, and I have to hang around and experience all sorts of difficulties? Such reproaches towards parents and other relatives also arise in the Christian environment. We ask "why?", we torment the souls of relatives. But the answer is simple: because such is the truth of God. You think like a human being, but your parents, relatives and friends, often admonished by God, think like God. They see who needs more at this moment, who suffers more. You don't have a family, but your older brother does. You have one person in your family, and your sister has three. You grumble, you want and seek justice, and you will get it. But then you will repent bitterly, as Lot repented. For your earthly human justice, you will then shed bitter tears. Having searched for it, finally, you will not get anything good from it.

But when you provide a place for the grace of God, humble yourself and act in God's way, give eight plums to your neighbor, then the grace of God will completely cover you, fill everything that you lack so much, and the Lord Himself will help you in all your ways.

If we seek human justice, and not the truth and justice of God; if we do not humble ourselves before God and neighbor; let us not act as the holy fathers advise us—to oppress ourselves for the sake of Christ, to limit ourselves for the sake of our neighbor, to act in a way that is better for our neighbor, and not for us—then there will be no Christianity, no spiritual growth in us.

Of course, it is very difficult for a person to live according to the truth of God. You need to break yourself down to the roots every time. We love ourselves very much, we warm ourselves very much. It is not for nothing that the Lord, knowing this human essence, said: “As you want to be treated with you, do so with others.” Our shirt is closer to the body, and it is difficult for us to tear off a flap from it and bandage the wounds of our neighbor with it. To do this, you need to break yourself with the help of God, with prayer. It is very difficult and very painful, but necessary. If this does not happen, then there will be no acquisition of the prodigal son, there will be no change of soul. We will be honest, good, decent, respected, diligent, correct people, but people of this age, and not sons and daughters of God.

Modern man is constantly inspired that he must be the first, the best, that it is shameful to be a loser who has not achieved anything in life. Worldly pride attracts people to go over the corpses of their neighbors, to push everyone with their elbows, to achieve a leading position. This passion is especially cultivated in the world today. It is she who, spurring on the achievement of pleasures, will lead to the multiplication of iniquities, because of which love among the people living on earth will become impoverished.

Signs of spiritual pride

The first sign of pride is to measure another with your own standard.

Why do we express dissatisfaction with others? Why do we get annoyed with them, angry? There are several reasons for this. First, we measure the other person with our standard. When we are healthy, when our heart beats evenly, when our blood pressure is normal, when both eyes see and both knees bend, we cannot understand another person who feels bad. Our character is even, and that person is a choleric, or vice versa - he is calmer and more pragmatic than we are.

The “I” that reigns in our heart makes us look at other people through the prism of our own physical, mental and spiritual properties, and we unwittingly consider ourselves a stencil, a model for others. From this, a storm begins in the soul: I do, but he does not; I do not get tired, but he complains that he is tired; I sleep five hours, and, you see, eight hours is not enough for him; I work tirelessly, and he shirks and goes to bed early. This is what characterizes a proud person; it is the proud one who says, “Why do I do this and he doesn’t? Why do I do it and he doesn't? Why can I and he can't?

But the Lord created all people different. Each of us has our own life, our own life path, our own life situations. The well-fed does not understand the hungry, the healthy will never understand the sick. A person who has not gone through troubles and temptations will not understand the mourner. A happy father will not understand an orphan who has lost his child. The newlywed will not understand the divorced. A person whose parents are alive will not understand someone who has just buried his mother. You can theorize, but there is a practice of life. We often do not have life experience, and when we begin to gain it, we remember those whom we condemned, with whom we were strict, and we begin to understand that at that moment we were like empty shells. We did not understand how this man felt. They tried to edify him, but he had no time for remarks. His hands dropped from grief, his soul grieved, he did not need moralizing and high-flown words. All he needed at that moment was sympathy, compassion and comfort, but we did not understand this. And when the Lord takes us through the same thing, we begin to feel what the other person felt.

Here is one of the signs of pride - we measure other people with our own yardstick. When we do this, it shows that we do not have generosity. And all you need is to try not to condemn the other person, not to get annoyed, but to accept him as he is, and try to let him into your heart. But it is difficult.

The second sign of pride is "self-"

To fight pride, I can give you a wonderful prayer that helps your own “I” to sink to the bottom of your heart, to drown in sympathy for another. Here is the prayer: Lord, teach me not to be understood, but so that I understand others».

You complain: “My wife doesn’t understand me, my children don’t understand, they don’t appreciate me at work, no one hears me.” Do you hear? Here it is, our "I", "me", "me" - here it comes out of the soul.

This prefix “self-” is the second sign of pride: self-gratification, self-pity, pride, self-will.

With this prefix begins the action in a person of pride. I am proud and value myself: “Others rarely go to church and pray weakly, not like me, a respectable Christian. I am full of self-pity, and therefore I do not get up for prayer - I am tired. I do not want to help my neighbor, because I myself am poor, unhappy, I feel so sorry for myself. Everything hurts me, I recently got sick, why should I go to church? I need to lie down and recover, let others, fools, drag themselves to the temple in the frost and bow there, since they don’t understand what serious illnesses they will suffer later, and do not spare themselves. Here it is, the second hypostasis of human pride.

The third sign of pride is self-will

In addition to “self-” there is also “own-”: self-will, self-will. A proud person manifests himself by not obeying his superiors, not fulfilling the blessing of his spiritual father, but by acting self-made and self-willed. This is especially true for new beginning Christians. “I will do as I see fit, as I want. As I see it, not the way they teach me, not the way the instructions at work prescribe, not the way the boss says. Maybe he's a fool, he doesn't understand anything. And I'm smart, I understand. I have been working here for a long time, and he was sent from another city ... "

The proud one does not want to learn from the Church, from a confessor, from elders, from experienced and experienced people: “I will break through the wall with my head and invent a bicycle, but I will not go to someone who has been married for twenty years, who has been working for this production, who has been singing in the kliros for a long time. I will be on my own, according to my own mind, according to books! This is the sign of a proud person. He does not consult, he does not ask for help, he does not try to understand what, why and where is happening.

Our willfulness is the source of our troubles

When I receive people in the temple who come with their troubles and sorrows, I ask everyone: “What is your question?” And they often answer me: “I want ... I want this ... I want this ... I think so ... Why does everyone do this if I want another? ..”.

“I want” sounds from the lips of many who come to the temple with their broken lives; it is heard at every step. This is precisely the problem, the cause that led to the mournful consequences. A person does not ask the question: “Lord, what do you want from me? Where should I direct my path? How can I build my life according to Your will? Instead, he says, “I want to have a good job. I want to have a good family. I want to have obedient children. I want to find a profitable direction for my life. I want…"

I say in response to such a “I want”: “Until you break yourself, until you expel the evil “yashka” from your soul, which puts your own “I” above all else, there will be no place for God in your soul, your life will not get better, you won't be able to do anything. You will not see a light in the darkness in which you are with your sorrows and worries, because your life problems are generated by your own “box”, your self-will, self-love, your not seeking the will of God, but the fulfillment of your will.

Consumer attitude towards God, the Church and people is the fourth sign of pride

People come to church and ask indignantly: “Why don’t they like me here?” You often hear this from newcomers. They are still infected with all the passions, they do not yet understand anything in church life, they have just crossed the threshold of the church. The first question they ask is: “We visited the Protestants and saw love there. But here, in the Orthodox Church, they do not like us. Why is that?" They demand: "Give us love, give us joy, give us that lightness and liveliness, like the Protestants!" Everything is very simple there: “Raise your hands!”. Raised - and that's it, you're saved. Here's your lentil soup, here's two kilos of pasta. Hallelujah! You are saved, go, see you tomorrow, brother, see you tomorrow, sister, the Kingdom of Heaven is waiting for you, God loves you!

And we are completely different. In an Orthodox church, you need to pray. Fasting, standing at long services, concentrating on prayer, forcing and limiting yourself, there are no broad smiles, clapping on the shoulders and deliberate hugs. We have everything strictly, decorously and restrainedly. And people demand: “Where is the love? I came to church for love, but where is she here? She's not here! Give me love!"

This is another sign of pride - a consumer attitude towards God, the church and the people around. "Let me! Why don't you give me? Where is Love?" - when we hear these words, it means that a person is infected with pride and has not yet been reborn.

And the ancient prayer says: “Lord, teach me not to be loved, but I loved others. Not to be consoled, but I consoled. Not to be understood, but I learned to understand others.” See what's the difference? Don't give "me", but so that I learn to give! To the extent that a person succeeds in this, to the extent that he establishes his steps on this path, to that extent one can speak of his spiritual rebirth.

But we all the time “yak”, and all: “Give me, give me! Here I am, here I am!"

Resentment is the fifth sign of pride

Resentment refers both to the irritable and angry passion, and to the very passion of pride. What is resentment? It is sadness and bitterness because it hurts my heart.

Resentment is causal and causeless. Unreasonable resentment refers to the passion of despondency. A causal offense is when another person hurts me, and the question arises: “Why are they doing this to me? Why are they doing this to me?" As soon as this “why” addressed to God and “why” addressed to people crawls out of the soul, it is immediately clear that a person is infected with pride.

What will a spiritual person who is offended say? “Lord, I accept according to my sins. Remember me, Lord, in Your kingdom. Thank You, Lord, for not scolding me and offending me even more. Perhaps, Lord, I once offended someone and this offense returned to me. Or maybe the nest of anger and resentment has not become empty in me, which means that I can potentially offend someone, and You vaccinate me, let people hurt me so that I myself would not hurt another person. Such a Christian does not have the word "why", he understands: once hurt, then it is necessary. Saint Isaac the Syrian tells us: “If you, a Christian, have not learned to overcome insults, have not learned to see the healing hand of the Lord behind every insult, then you have not understood that the Lord heals your soul.” And if you do not accept the healing hand of the Lord, take offense and do not overcome your offenses, then the path of spiritual growth is closed to you. You don't grow as a Christian, you remain the same sinner you were, with a wounded, festering, unhealed soul. Because behind any offense is the hand of the Lord, which heals the abscesses of our soul and shows where we were wrong.

In the offenses caused to us, we can comprehend the Providence of God and draw the appropriate conclusions.

The sixth sign of pride is truth-seeking

Here, at the lectern, during confession, I often hear complaints and grievances. The question always comes up: why? Why did they treat me like this? Don't I go to church? Didn’t I feed my children, didn’t give them water, didn’t raise them alone, without a husband? Why do they treat me like this, insult me? I have worked in manufacturing for twenty years. Why do I get kicked out, fired, and those who have connections and acquaintances stay at work and pay? Why are they so unfair to me? Here it is, a manifestation of pride - truth-seeking. This is another sign of a proud person.

Such people think that they are doing a good deed, they are looking for the truth. But they are not looking for the truth. They want earthly, human truth, but they are not looking for God's truth. But there is no truth on earth, my dears! How many times can you repeat this? Truth is only with God. “I have advice and truth; I am understanding, I have strength” (Prov. 8:14), says the Lord. “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways,” says the Lord. But as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

The Lord tells us that this world lies in evil, that this world is a kingdom of lies and evil. So is it really not clear who rules this world?

God creates His righteousness, by acting on which Christians can be saved. And by engaging in false truth-seeking – I emphasize: false truth-seeking – and the search for false human justice, they become Pharisees, Sadducees. They go to church, pray, outwardly fulfill the commandments of God, but their inner man is so deeply smitten, so separated from God and so un-Christian, that it becomes frightening. The substitution of a callous man for earthly truth and justice by a Christian is a terrible phenomenon for the Church, it is an ulcer, a rust that corrodes it.

How would a believer say? “Lord, let Thy will be done for everything. Thank you for everything. For I firmly believe that to those who love You and believe in You, and trust You, and trust in You, everything in this life works together for good. You say that you care about my life, and I entrust my whole life and my soul into Your hands. This is the attitude of a believer. Thus he goes to God and overcomes the proud movements of the soul.

The seventh sign of pride is self-justification

What is self justification? This is one of the manifestations of pride: a person wants to defend his own rightness; or wants to be thought better than he is; or at least thought exactly what he really is. When a person is offended or said something that he does not like, his pride is hurt. And at this very moment self-justification imperceptibly comes into force. It affects everyone, from children to people of the highest rank.

Let us look closely at the essence of self-justification. Here the husband turns to his wife, makes her a fair remark that her children are not fed or the apartment is not cleaned. What does he hear in response? “And look at yourself! What are you like, do you bring home a lot of money? And in general, where do you put your shoes when you come home, and what do you turn your socks or pants into? This is where the husband's denunciation ends. And then he will say something, and again he will receive a similar response from his wife. Or the mother tries to persuade the child: “Why did you behave so badly at school, offended the children, quarreled with them? And look at your diary, it's full of remarks." - “No, I behaved no worse than usual, and you yourself cursed and quarreled yesterday. Why should I listen to you?" The boss says to the subordinate: “Why did you do such and such in bad faith?” “And you yourself forgot to tell me about this yesterday.” What happens in the mind of a leader? Anger or dislike towards a subordinate. He tries to prove something to him, but instead receives a thousand words in response.

Wherever we look, self-justification is a great evil. One person tries to either blame or reason with another, but what does he hear in response? A thousand words, and all in defiance of the speaker: “Why are you pestering me? Yes, you look at yourself, what you yourself represent. What does it generate? Hate, anger, dislike. Self-justification is a bridge that leads further to the development of anger, and even further to quarrels, battles and hatred between people. Self-justification feeds on pride and leads to hell.

The eighth sign of pride is murmuring

Now let's talk about what turns the face of God away from man, raises an insurmountable barrier between God and man, causes the wrath and irritation of God - about grumbling. Murmuring is a kind of blasphemy against God, ingratitude to Him for all His great blessings. This is spiritual and spiritual blindness, aversion from the Providence of God, a descent from the divine path, the road to the underworld. This is grief that darkens the soul; it is an impenetrable darkness that makes the path of man deadly both for the temporal life and for the life to come.

Murmuring is a manifestation of human pride, proud opposition of a creature to its Creator. All the days of our lives we should remember that no matter how much we want otherwise, no matter how much we go out of our way, we will always remain God's creatures. Holy Scripture says: “Woe to him who quarrels with his Creator, a shard of earthly shards! Will the clay say to the potter, "What are you doing?" and your work [will he say of you], “He has no hands?” (Isaiah 45:9). The pot did not mold itself, but was molded by the master. And it is not the pot, but the potter, who determines which vessel has a great, which small, and which an insignificant use. He himself breaks his creation, and restores it again. What can we oppose to our Creator? Nothing. He determined for each his life path and his life cross. He gave each one a special blessing, which we must carry through our whole lives, and, perhaps, be saved, or perhaps perish.

From the Holy Scriptures we see what terrible consequences grumbling has always led to. Through the mouths of the prophets and the righteous, both in the Old Testament and in our time, the Lord convicts our wrongness and our ingratitude to Him. For what? Then, so that we would not anger Him, so that we would turn to Him and become truly holy Israel, the holy people of God. But this often doesn't happen. Because we don't have enough; or everything that is sent, we perceive as evil; or we want another, we think in our own way, forgetting that the Creator exists above us.

It should be remembered, my dears, that for every murmuring word, for every ungratefulness to the Lord, for every blasphemy against Him, you will give an answer. And it will be with you as it was with the people of Israel. Today the Lord blesses you and puts into your hands the opportunity to live differently and inherit life, but tomorrow he will take it away for your grumbling. And then, all the days of your life, you will not find peace or joy, only sorrows and illnesses will haunt you. Today you were close to finding peace of mind, peace in your family and with those around you, and tomorrow, for grumbling, the Lord will harden your environment, and you will begin to experience terrible disasters. And perhaps, as it was with the people of Israel, only children, seeing your mournful example, will understand how they should be afraid of grumbling against their Creator.

How to deal with pride

To fight pride, you must immediately take on all the passions generated by it.

Why is it so important to fight both the ailments of dominant passion and the ailment of pride at the same time? I will give a simple everyday example. Who among you was engaged in gardening knows: when a beetroot or turnip grows and you want to cook borscht, then you pull it by the young tops, and it breaks off, remains in your hand, and the turnip or beetroot is in the ground. To pull it out, wise gardeners take all the leaves of the tops at once, closer to the root, and pull - then only the root crop that sits in the ground is completely pulled out. So, in order to draw out the passion of pride, one must immediately take on all the passions manifested by it: irritation, pride, despondency, fighting them and at the same time asking the Lord to give humility and meekness. That's when pride kicks in.

The struggle with pride begins with small, external

A proud person is also recognizable outwardly - he loves to laugh, talks a lot, fusses and shows himself, all the time trying to show himself. Therefore, during the year, I bless you to work on this inner problem: to seek the last place, not to show yourself, not to stick out, not to justify yourself, not to boast, not to push ahead, not to exalt yourself.

Here it is, the struggle with pride. You have to start small. If a person wants to start fighting with his pride, then he must find a worse place for himself and sit there; when everyone is talking - be silent; when everyone is boasting, do not open your mouth and speak only when asked.

To defeat pride, you need to learn obedience to the Church and obedience to the confessor, cutting off your own will.

I tried to convey to you how terrible pride is, how our own "ego" uses us, how we want to live for our own benefit. But in order to become a disciple of Christ and acquire the mind, heart and soul of Christ, you need to forget yourself and. How difficult it is! All the strings of the soul protest. Why should I think about someone, comfort someone, help someone? I don't have to. I have my own life, my own problems. Why do I need someone else, why do I need all these strangers?

But these people are not strangers. These are the ones the Lord has placed around you today. So that you can save your soul, remake yourself, remove your “I” so far that it does not protrude, and another person stands in the first place for you. It is impossible without this to become a disciple of Christ, for the Lord says: “If anyone wants to follow Me, deny himself, and take up your cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23). ). “He who saves his soul will lose it; but he who loses his life for my sake will save it” (Matthew 10:39; Mark 8:35; Luke 9:24). These are the words we hear in the Gospel. What do they mean? That a person is called for the sake of love for God and neighbor not getting enough sleep, malnourished, wasting time, nerves, strength. But modern man does not want to do this, because he sees only himself and boils in his own juice.

Do you want to be disciples of Christ? Deny yourself and learn to see God in your neighbor who is near you. Turn over everything that lives in the soul, and put it in proper order, as the Lord blesses. And the passion of pride will begin to heal in your souls.

Repentance is pharisaic and unfalse

It seems that you go to church, and you have reason to think that everything is in order, you have finally begun to live as a Christian. But with such an attitude, the heart begins to be covered with a film of spiritual fat, it becomes impenetrable, lazy, soft. But the Lord is not pleased, and the Lord will always disturb your soul. We seem to calm down - and we do not see our sins to the end. Constantly looking for sins in oneself and bringing them to confession is the path to delusion. Another thing is when the Lord, by His grace, opens our eyes to our sinfulness. I want you to catch the difference between what the Lord says in relation to the Pharisees: “blind guides, straining out a gnat, but swallowing a camel” (Matt. 23:24), and the situation when we pray to God, repent to Him, try to cleanse our soul - and our eyes are opened to all the torment of our inner man, we see how imperfect, weak we are; and this prompts us to deep repentance, leads to confession. When a person seeks out sins in himself, this often happens according to hypocrisy; it is embarrassing for him to go to confession and not say anything to the priest. He thinks: “What can I say about myself? It seems to be not quite a saint, but I can’t find sins. ” And another thing is when a person’s heart is bursting with understanding of what is happening in it. These are two qualitatively different states. The first is the hypocrisy of the Pharisees; in the second we abide unfalsely.

Consider the parable of the publican and the Pharisee. The Pharisee stood humbly in the temple, but at the same time he said: “God! I thank You that I am not like other people, robbers, offenders, adulterers, or like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11). This is the way to elevate yourself through the humiliation of others. The publican repeated: “God! Be merciful to me, a sinner!” (Luke 18:13). This is the way of self-abasement.

We ask you to open the doors of our stone heart

The second path leads to the opening of the doors of the heart, while the first one closes them. The difference between these two paths is often seen in confession. Some begin to repent and at the same time look for someone to blame for their sins; whoever provokes them: the husband, the neighbors in the front door, the housekeepers, the authorities, the president, the head of the district, the priest - all together. When everyone around is pushing to commit a sin, the person himself seems to have nothing to do with it: yes, he sinned - but he could not help but sin, because he was hurt. He thinks: "How could I not sin here, I will share the guilt with everyone, and they are sinners, and I am sinful." This is a direct path to delusion - the path of covering up your sins, running away from them, unwillingness to see your weakness and honestly say: “Lord, I am lazy, I am selfish, I love myself, I am hard-hearted. It’s not someone else’s fault that I don’t get up for prayer, that I want to break the fast or do something else, it’s not others who are to blame, I myself am to blame for this.”

During Great Lent, we kneel at the All-Night Vigil and hear: “Open the door of repentance for us.” And where do these doors lead, where are they? It's about the doors of your own heart. We ask God to give us the opportunity to enter into the depths of our heart and know ourselves unfairly. We ask: “Open the door of repentance, Life-giver Christ” – so that at last the key to our stone heart is found, so that we can see what is inside, feel, repent, and be cleansed. These are the doors we are talking about and what we ask the Lord for.

Forgive, bless, pray for me

The Holy Fathers have left us many great pieces of advice, and one of them concerns how to stop irritation, which, perhaps justly, or perhaps unjustly, flares up in relation to another person. According to the patristic advice, in such a situation a person should remember three words worthy of a Christian. These three words: Forgive, bless and pray for me". They spiritually influence the one who proves something to you.

Of course, at work, these words are most likely not to be uttered. Most of our work is secular, and many of our employees are unbelievers. If you say in front of them what the holy fathers advise, you will simply be considered insane. But in a believing family, or in obedience to the Church, or in relation to an Orthodox Christian - a friend or sister - these three words are enough to stop the mouth of any anger, to immediately, in the bud, extinguish any hostility and any irritation.

Think about these three simple words. "Sorry, bless and pray for me." “Sorry” means the person is asking for forgiveness. Here is the first indicator of humility. He does not say: I'm right or I'm wrong, he doesn't talk a lot about himself, he doesn't start reasoning and he doesn't promise - now let's figure out which of us is right. He says, "I'm sorry." The subtext of this “sorry” is that I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but it doesn’t matter if I upset you as my brother. Then the person says: "Bless." This means that he calls on the grace of God for help. The one that really manages, which will die a brother or sister, will pacify the situation, which will extinguish all the intrigues of the devil in relation to the fact that a person quarreled with a person. And when he adds, "Pray for me," that is the third sign of humility. A person asks for prayers for himself, so that the grace of God will help him to really do deeds of truth.

Thus, a person really grows rich in God, and not in himself. He does not feed his granary of pride, he does not fill his vanity bin with the obscene grain of pride, but grows rich in God, exhausts himself, bows before his neighbor, humbles himself before his neighbor, asks his holy prayers and calls on the grace of God for help.

Inspire your neighbor no more than twice

How, however, to be a person who is trying to reason with another, to convey the truth to him? Well, if he came across such a believer who really humbled himself and acted on the advice. A person who behaves like this brings peace to communication between people, between Christians. But if this is not the case, if thousands of excuses sound in response to admonition?

We, Orthodox, are like spiritual lumberjacks. We have such a spiritual saw, and we saw our neighbor with it until the juice comes out of him. This is typical of our environment. How can we stop in time so that our neighbor does not squeal, weep and groan from our good admonitions, and at the same time our pride does not develop? For this, too, there is a corresponding patristic council. He says the following: inspire your neighbor no more than twice. The Holy Fathers have verified this. If a person repeats something more than twice, then dislike will appear in his soul, then irritation, then anger.

How to be? How to be in this situation - the neighbor does not obey? It is required to convey to the consciousness of a person a very important life circumstance - to explain something to a child, a family member, a colleague - but it does not work. The holy fathers say: say twice and stop. Otherwise, irritation will come into your soul, anger will come into your soul, and you will no longer admonish your neighbor like a Christian, but with passion, with hostility. And instead of admonishment, a quarrel can turn out.

Who benefits from a quarrel? Manslayer-devil. God doesn't need a fight. Better a bad peace than a good quarrel. Better a family that survives than a broken family. Better friends who keep in touch than friends who squint at each other. Better is a community of people where there is peace, albeit a bad peace, weak, but peace, than enmity, quarrel and hostility towards each other. This must be understood. And take care of what the Lord gives us.

Therefore, here are two patristic pieces of advice for you, very instructive for both sides - for the one who admonishes and for the one who is admonished. Let's repeat them again.

The first piece of advice: do not admonish more than twice, do not try to force the will of another with your will. Say it twice, and then leave everything to the will of God. Wait for the Lord to enlighten a person, when He opens his heart and soul so that your words lie on good ground. If you continue to rape a person, you will get anger, irritation, a quarrel, and, moreover, you will cultivate pride in your own soul.

And the second piece of advice is for the sensible: under no circumstances try to make excuses. Who needs your excuses? Nobody needs them. With them you will only push your neighbor away from you, you will cause despondency in him, quarrel with him, move away from him, lose a friend. Therefore, there is no need, no need to make excuses. Whether you're right or wrong, no one cares. God sees everything. God sees your heart, your soul. Say three simple words of humility: "I'm sorry, bless and pray for me."

Act according to the righteousness of God, not human

Human justice is very connected with human flesh. She forgets about mercy to her neighbors and has nothing to do with the Gospel of God. This justice is a law which a man writes for his own convenience, or for the convenience of his life, or for the convenience of self-justification, or for his other conveniences.

Elder Paisius gives a simple example. You have ten plums, and you have decided to divide them between you and your brother. You say that there are two of you, and you divide them by five, exactly equally. This is human justice. There is nothing shameful in it, it is an ordinary act of an ordinary person. Everyone remained with his own, neither you are offended, nor your brother. What will be the injustice? If you gave less to your neighbor and took more for yourself. And somehow he justified himself at the same time: “I’m older and more experienced,” or “this morning I read three prayers, and you two, and I’m supposed to have six plums, and you have four - you were too lazy.” But in fact, in the heart, gluttony prospered latently. I just wanted to eat six plums, even if I cheated my neighbor. Such is human injustice. But there is still the justice of God, when a person saw that his neighbor was hungry, that he was in need, that he longed for plums - and for the sake of his neighbor he yielded. He says: “Friend, eat eight plums, I don’t like them, and in general my stomach swells from them; I don’t need these plums, I ate enough, eat these eight for Christ’s sake. This is divine justice.

See how the three justices differ from each other? So it is in the life of God: the justice of God is always associated with some kind of limitation, self-abasement and sacrifice for the sake of one's neighbor, when a person sacrifices either time, or something dear to him, or what is sent to him.

We see this in the gospel parable. The father has two sons. And the father first acts according to human justice. How does he divide his estate between the eldest son and the youngest? in half. The youngest son wanted half the estate - please get half the estate. The father does not ask his son: “What will you do with him, what will you turn him into?”, and in human justice he gives him half the estate. We do not know the true motives of the youngest son - whether it was greed or foresight - but we see a truly human act: he took away half of his father's estate in his favor.

We saw something similar in the pages of the Old Testament, when Lot and Abraham almost quarreled with each other over pastures for their animals. And how did the holy righteous Abraham act? “We, relatives, will not quarrel over who got the best and who got the worst,” and the elder yields to the younger. He invites Lot to choose pastures that he likes. And what does Lot choose? Sodom and Gomorrah. We know what the green pastures of Sodom and Gomorrah turned out to be for him. He barely carried his legs from there, lost his wife there, all his belongings, all animals and slaves. Abraham acts in righteousness, out of love, but Lot acts in a human way. In one lives the desire for human justice, and in the other, God's justice. And Lot then disentangles this human justice, remains poor, in rags, desecrated and ridiculed. But Abraham prospered, and prospers.

We see the same thing on the pages of the gospel narrative. The younger son, desiring what did not belong to him, and acting not in a divine way, having taken half of his estate from his father and elder brother, went to another country. He lived fornication, squandered everything he had, and as a result, it turned out to be his lot - to eat along with the owner's pigs. And then a conscience woke up in him, he turns to God, he goes back to his father. The father sees the resurrected son, the converted son, returned to the bosom of the father, and acts according to the righteousness of God, he accepts the son and does not regret anything for him. With a generous hand he kills a well-fed calf, with a generous hand he prepares all kinds of dishes, gathers guests for a feast and rejoices with his son at his return.

And what about the eldest son, who all these years remained with his father? In human truth. With bitterness, he says to his father the same thing that we often reproach our relatives and friends - that they treat us differently than others. “Why do you treat me differently than you treat my older sister, my brother? Why did you give your brother the opportunity to live with his family in a separate apartment, and I have to hang around and experience all sorts of difficulties? Such reproaches towards parents and other relatives also arise in the Christian environment. We ask "why?", we torment the souls of relatives. But the answer is simple: because such is the truth of God. You think like a human being, but your parents, relatives and friends, often admonished by God, think like God. They see who needs more at this moment, who suffers more. You don't have a family, but your older brother does. You have one person in your family, and your sister has three. You grumble, you want and seek justice, and you will get it. But then you will repent bitterly, as Lot repented. For your earthly human justice, you will then shed bitter tears. Having searched for it, finally, you will not get anything good from it.

But when you provide a place for the grace of God, humble yourself and act in God's way, give eight plums to your neighbor, then the grace of God will completely cover you, fill everything that you lack so much, and the Lord Himself will help you in all your ways.

If we seek human justice, and not the truth and justice of God; if we do not humble ourselves before God and neighbor; let us not act as the holy fathers advise us—to oppress ourselves for the sake of Christ, to limit ourselves for the sake of our neighbor, to act in a way that is better for our neighbor, and not for us—then there will be no Christianity, no spiritual growth in us.

Of course, it is very difficult for a person to live according to the truth of God. You need to break yourself down to the roots every time. We love ourselves very much, we warm ourselves very much. It is not for nothing that the Lord, knowing this human essence, said: “As you want to be treated with you, do so with others.” Our shirt is closer to the body, and it is difficult for us to tear off a flap from it and bandage the wounds of our neighbor with it. To do this, you need to break yourself with the help of God, with prayer. It is very difficult and very painful, but necessary. If this does not happen, then there will be no acquisition of the prodigal son, there will be no change of soul. We will be honest, good, decent, respected, diligent, correct people, but people of this age, and not sons and daughters of God.

The Lord Himself delivers us from pride

boomerang law

We all wonder why misfortune befalls us and our children. When we analyze our life, it becomes obvious that not everything is smooth and even in it. If it arrives somewhere, then it will definitely decrease elsewhere, if something happens “with a plus”, then it will definitely give something “minus”. It seems that everything is fine in the family, there is prosperity, but there is no happiness: the husband does not love his wife, or the family sees his father very rarely, or the wife has no health, and the family suffers, visiting their mother in hospitals. And others, on the contrary, are healthy, but there is no money - so they think all the time what to buy food and what to wear. And so it is with everyone: it doesn’t happen that everything is all at once - there is one thing, but there is no other.

Why is this happening, what is the Providence of God here, what is the meaning of our, sometimes temporary, misadventures? This is where the boomerang law comes into play. We allow some kind of weakness, indulge ourselves, our passions, go on about the love of money, let some adventurous notes sound in our souls - and “suddenly”, in a year or a year and a half, the boomerang launched by us returns to us, what we created, begins to persecute us. What is the meaning of this boomerang? I would say that the Lord gives us spiritual inoculations. For what? If a person is not vaccinated against pride, then it can destroy him. If a person is not vaccinated today against the temptation that may arise in him tomorrow, this temptation will cover him with his head and the person will perish.

What does it mean to be humble

A true Christian will not quarrel and make noise. And how will he act? In God's way, that is, humble himself, cross himself: "Lord, Thy will be done." And he will repeat the words of the Lord: “If possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not as I will, but as You” (Matt. 26:39). Here it is, Christian obedience to the will of God, here it is, humility before God, humility before God's providence and one's lot in the eyes of God.

And when a person so humbles himself and surrenders everything to God, seeks everything from God, prays: “In the image of fate, Lord, direct my path,” then it’s really not he himself, not his human pride, not his understanding begins to help him in this life but the Lord Himself.

Too often we don't do what the Lord has commanded us to do. We boil, we swear, we insist on our rights. For example, parents come home and say: “You are not our daughter (or you are not our son), get out of here, from this square, from this apartment, it’s crowded for us to live!” So, he got married or got married - and away from his father's house. Or something else: "You have a good job, we are not obliged to help you and your children, do not contact us, and more so that we do not hear your calls." And so say relatives, relatives - fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles! Is there anything amazing here? No. For it is said in Holy Scripture: "Every man is a lie" (Ps. 116:2).

We must trust in the Lord, and in Him alone we see joy, consolation and support for our long-suffering life. We must ask Him to help us at all times and for every hour, not to rely on “princes, on the sons of men, in whom there is no salvation” (Ps. 145:3).

It is important, dear brothers and sisters, that we submit our will to the will of God. Very often, in the crucible of life's trials, our pride and vanity are highlighted. We see this situation that is taking shape, we see an insulting injustice, and then our own “I” comes forward: “I think so! I want it to be so!” But at the same time, we do not say preemptive words: “May God's will be done for everything; not as I want it, but as the Lord wants it." And it is necessary to say them, because in His unexplored and inscrutable ways He leads us through life, leads us through injustices and insults, and then it turns out that it was for our great benefit, that it was for us to save our souls, and that there is no other way could have happened, but only in the way the Lord arranged it. Meekly drinking the cup that the Lord drank and that He gives us is a great Christian humility, a Christian feat, which we need to learn.

Murmuring blocks the mercy of God

Murmuring pushes the Kingdom of God away from us, raises the wrath of God and His rebuke on us. Let's look at the pages of Holy Scripture, at the pages of history, at the present day. What happens to those who go against God, do not accept what He sends? Where are they? They are gone, and their ashes were scattered by the wind, and their very kind was uprooted.

Let us remember the suffering of the people of Israel. The Lord sent many plagues before the people of Israel could leave Egypt. During the first procession through the desert, the people were extremely hard, and people grumbled, remembering the old time, when they had plenty of meat, and they lived in peace, although they were slaves. And when the Lord had already led them to the promised land, when it was visible - at hand - another murmur blocked the mercy of God, and the people were forced to wander in the wilderness for another forty years. The Lord, angry, did not allow almost anyone to enter the promised land. The whole generation of those who murmured died out. They were buried in the desert. Only their children inherited the opportunity to enter there, into that land where, as the Lord said, milk and honey flow. Only children who have grown up in obedience and loyalty to their Maker and Creator have inherited the Lord's promise.

Human life is a procession in the wilderness. The tabernacle that the Israelites carried with them is a type of the altar of the Lord; the ministers who carry this tabernacle are the priests; and you, naturally, are Israel, who must go through a difficult path of trials.

The Lord did not spare His chosen people, and for their murmuring sent them to wander in the wilderness for another forty years. So the Lord can delay each of you to see the Kingdom of Heaven, to find peace of mind, peace in your soul, the Kingdom of God within yourself - to postpone for thirty years, forty, seventy - for as long as you like. Remember that every murmuring word, every blasphemy of the day of our life, of what is happening to us, angers the Creator and leads to the fact that He changes the line of our life. He makes it so that we come to our senses, come to our senses and come to the right conclusions.

Slaves of sin, we came out of the land of Egypt. Will we be healed?

You need to firmly understand that, perhaps, many of you standing here in the temple will not see the Kingdom of God and will not find what you are now looking for: healing from illnesses, weakening your sorrows, all this can continue until death itself. There is no need to despair - so favored God. Perhaps children or grandchildren will inherit what you are striving for now. Why? Because you and I came out of Egypt, we were slaves, slaves of sin, and with this we came to the Church. And many of us, as they were, and remain, in their inner essence, slaves. And they serve the Lord not as sons or daughters, but out of fear of punishment, of future hellish torments.

Is it bad or good? On the one hand, it's good. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. There will be no restraining fear - and we will all perish. On the other hand, it's bad. For God needs love not from under the stick, not the obedience of a slave. He needs the love of a son or daughter. And in order to reach the state of a son or daughter, obedient to the Father in everything and always, all the days of his life, one has to go through a considerable life path.

Therefore, there is no need to err and there is no need to grumble. Children will inherit - thank God, grandchildren will inherit - thank God. The Lord is trying to bring us out of our spiritual slavery and give us another life. To give the opportunity to fulfill the commandments of God not in the ritual sense; feel the breath of the Holy Spirit in the temple; with a free heart to pray to Him as to the Living God, to serve Him and to see Him, the Living One, always, in every place: here, in the temple, and at home, and at work, and feel Him in your heart.

To be faithful to the Living God, to serve the Holy Trinity, to worship God in spirit and in truth, and to truly be a daughter or a son of God, we must thank God for everything He sends us all the days of our lives. To glorify His name, no matter how hard it is, to endure everything that is sent. Did the Lord not deprive the Israelites of water as they marched in the wilderness? Deprived. Did he deprive him of food? Deprived. Were they hot and difficult to walk? Was. So it is in our life. Yes, it's hard, it hurts - but there is no other way. Who said that with light efforts one can enter the Kingdom of Heaven? On the contrary, the Lord says: “The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by need, and the needy take it away.” Needy - that is, those who force, endure, and in great patience, in great humility and obedience to God, go where God's blessing extends them.

Therefore, let us submit to what is, let us accept with joy and gratitude the blessing of God descending upon us. Even unpleasant, sick, suffering, it is the blessing of God, given to us, and there is no other way for a person to find peace and tranquility, and for the Holy Spirit to change the heart and soul for the better.

Inoculation against pride

When we begin to transfer sins onto another, the Lord sends misadventures to us - spiritual inoculations. As soon as we think that everything is in order with us, the Lord inoculates us. Suddenly, we quarreled with someone, quarreled. Or suddenly something that we did turns out to be shameful, crafty, and we cannot understand how we could have done such a thing. We just raised our heads - the Lord immediately lowered it down to the ground: “You thought that you ended your salvation on this. Here, I show you what you are. Do not raise your little head high, lower it down, and go. Go humbly, do not look around you, do not look around, do not look at other people's sins.

We very often need this inoculation against pride. I have seen many prosperous families in which parents and children gradually came into a state of neglect of God and the Church. “What do you ask God for? We have everything. The children are healthy, they themselves are healthy, the family is well-being and prosperity. There is enough money for education for children, the younger ones go to the gymnasium, the older ones receive higher education. What else do we need? Why should we go to church? they argue. These people, who are in a state of consumer attitude towards the Church, have not yet become part of those who serve God; they can fall off at any moment. The Lord sees this, the Lord is merciful, the Lord is sick for these people and inoculates against pride, sends a shock or misfortune.

He shakes us up - and there is so much money that it is barely enough to pay for an apartment, but we still have to feed ourselves and our children. And we understand that we cannot do without the help of the Lord. And we go, we ask the Lord for help: "Lord, help us, we cannot do anything." Some new law was released - and we understand that tomorrow we may be evicted from the apartment, and it is not known where we will be - in a communal apartment, with a roof, without a roof, on the street, and whether we will even have a piece of bread. That's when we go to the Lord: "Lord, help me, without You I can't do anything."

The Lord gives us such inoculations so that you and I would have steadfastness against the proud state, which is inherent in every person to one degree or another. The Lord hides from us the measure of our infection with pride. She's different for everyone. Some people have severe severity. Some people have very mild symptoms. Maybe it does not manifest itself at all, it nests somewhere deep in the heart. And the Lord sees that even this little pride can destroy us forever, forever close the doors of the Kingdom of Heaven for us. And the Lord instills us - gives us misadventures.

We hit our foreheads and bowed our heads: “Lord, how could I not notice this, how could I do this, what did I imagine such a thing about myself, what did I think?” In order for such thoughts to be born, you need to hit your forehead against the wall or to get slapped on the head from above. Before that, they didn't.

My dears, we have a lot of events in life. Sometimes we get carried away, we lose our sense of proportion, our brakes don't work. In other cases, a person is carried, and he cannot stop - he wants to, but cannot. Then the Lord stops him. Especially if the person is a believer. The Lord is not pleased with such a state of man, he sees that he can continue to grow in evil. And today He sends him a little admonition so that tomorrow, a year later, having found himself in exactly the same situation, a person does not do more evil, does not break firewood, does not commit such sins, because of which he would be ashamed even to come to confession, the threshold church cross. The Lord is giving a small vaccine today so that tomorrow a big, huge, serious misfortune does not happen to you, so that you understand God's providence, understand that the Lord has mercy on us, that He loves us, and that all the evil that happens to us is actually great good for us. The Lord stops us like foolish children. It gives us the opportunity to reflect on whether we are doing the right thing.

If the Lord did not do this to us, I assure you, we would all perish. For from the pride of Satan, which is inherent in the people of this age, no one is safe. Therefore, my dears, please accept with thanksgiving everything that the Lord sends you, try to learn from the inoculations of the Lord. Draw the right conclusions from everything that happens. Then you will be delivered from many troubles and misfortunes, and with a grateful heart you will pass undamaged through all the devil's nets. Amen.