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V. SOLLOGUB "TROUBLE FROM A TENDER HEART" OR "WHAT THE HELL GUESSED TO SET UP IN THIS HOUSE"
Vladimir Sollogub's brilliant vaudeville has been on stage for more than 150 years and is of interest to both inexperienced and adult viewers. Count Vladimir Alexandrovich Sollogub (1814-1882) is a well-known Russian writer, author of "secular" stories, essays, memoirs about Pushkin, Lermontov, Gogol and VAUDEVILEIES. This genre was the most beloved in Russia in the first half of the 19th century, and Trouble from a Gentle Heart is the most famous, first staged in 1850. The author is a brilliant connoisseur of the laws of this genre. In the end, virtue and justice always win.

VLADIMIR SOLLOGUB "TROUBLE FROM A TENDER HEART". VAUDEVILLE.

Characters:

Daria Semyonovna Boyarkina.

Masha, her daughter.

Nastasya Pavlovna, her niece.

Agrafena Grigorievna Kubyrkina.

Katerina Ivanovna, her daughter.

Vasily Petrovich Zolotnikov, farmer.

Alexander Vasilievich, his son.

EVENT 1

DARIA SEMENOVNA Ah, my God! Still no pink dress. Well
is it? The dress is ordered for this evening, and you will receive it tomorrow morning"
Here everything is so, everything is so. Such an annoyance: I would just beat someone! Nastya!
Nastya! Nastenka!
NASTYA I'm here, auntie.
DARIA SEMENOVNA. Well, thank God! Where have you been, mother? It's all in my head
nonsense, but there is nothing to think about the aunt; did you send to marchande
de modes?
NASTYA Sent, aunt.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Well, what about Masha's dress?
NASTYA Done, auntie
DARIA SEMENOVNA So why don't they carry it?
NASTYA Yes, auntie
DARIA SEMENOVNA Well, what are you grumbling about?
NASTYA(quietly) Without money, aunt, they don’t give; they say a lot
must.
DARIA SEMENOVNA What do you want to be rude to me, mother, or what? Here
gratitude: I took a round orphan home to her, I feed, clothe, and she
he still talks to me. No, my dear, I will not let you forget. What?
They brought crackers, huh? .. They are twirling ice cream "Huh?
are you standing still? You see, Mashenka has not yet combed her hair; give me
hairpins.
MASHA Here I would put rings on my forehead "like this" Mom, how do you like it
anything, but they won’t bring a dress - I won’t go out for anything; stay in my
room, I'll say sick. As you please.
DARIA SEMENOVNA What you? What you? Lost her mind! For you I make the evening, and
you will not be; would you like me to dance instead of you? We will have the most
first zheni" that is, gentlemen.
MASHA Yes! That's exactly how they'll go.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And why, mother, won't they go?
MASHA What are they doing here? After all, the ball is now better than yours;
I told you to postpone, but you want everything in your own way.
DARIA SEMENOVNA It's time for you to get married, Mashenka, otherwise with these evenings
my strength is lacking. Look, Prince Kurdyukov will be here today, try to
like it.
NASTYA Oh, aunty, he's an old man!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Nobody asks you. Well, what an old man, money at
him young.

Servant enters with a letter

Who is this from? "well" (with annoyance) Excellent, incomparable" Prince Kurdyukov
sorry, it can't be.
MASHA Well, what did I say!
DARIA SEMENOVNA And what, Mashenka, should I send for a pink dress? After all
there will be no prince.
MASHA send, of course, "What do you think? That I, because of your
I will go without a dress to an old man, or what?
DARIA SEMENOVNA Oh, Mashenka, at least you would be ashamed of people.
MASHA Yes, he is French, he does not understand.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Well, then I'll go for the money, I'll send for the dress.
MASHA It would be high time .. well, well, "go on.
DARIA SEMENOVNA So she raised a bride for herself - ruin and nothing more!
(Exits.)

EVENT 2.

MASHA(to the hairdresser) Here's another "so"! Nastya "Nastya" what are you talking about
think?
NASTYA So, about nothing, something sad"
MASHA What nonsense! Look, this hairstyle has stuck to me?
NASTYA Has stuck.
MASHA Very stuck?
NASTYA Very.
MASHA Right" Well, what are you going to wear?
NASTYA Yes, I'll stay like that, why should I dress up "no one will notice me.
MASHA You could at least tie a ribbon into your hair "There are a lot of old ones in my closet
tapes.
NASTYA No, why?
MASHA As you want.
ZOLOTNIKOV(behind the scenes) Is Darya Semenovna at home?
MASHA Oh, what a shame, man! (the hairdresser runs after her).

Phenomenon 3.

ZOLOTNIKOV Sorry" I scared someone here. (aside) Ah, this one
daughter. (Aloud) And the mistress is not at home, you see?
NASTYA No, sir, at home; I'll go tell her.
ZOLOTNIKOV Don't, don't worry; I just need you.
NASTYA Me?
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes; let me just take a good look at you.
Turn around a little, like this "incomparably" better than you and could not wish.
NASTYA Yes, I don't know you at all.
ZOLOTNIKOV Get to know me soon. What year are you?
NASTYA eighteen
ZOLOTNIKOV Great. Tell me, do you have suitors?
NASTYA No with.
ZOLOTNIKOV What are they, fools, do not look! Are you thinking about marriage?
NASTYA Sorry, I don't have time.
ZOLOTNIKOV No, you are not angry. I am Zolotnikov, the farmer. Heard
May be? A wealthy man, so my speech is a little harsh. A,
however, I take an active part in you; believe me, for you on purpose
came from Kazan to propose to you.
NASTYA You?
ZOLOTNIKOV Don't think that I'm talking about myself. First, me
fifty years; secondly, my physiognomy is far from attractive; thirdly, at
my wife is in Tambov. No, sir, I want to marry my son, and precisely, if
tell the whole truth, I would very much like to marry him to you. Of course
if you love each other. You don't love anyone, do you? Tell the truth"
NASTYA Nobody, sir.
ZOLOTNIKOV Well, don't like it. I will introduce my son to you. He is a kind little one.
The heart is only tender. Just give me your word that you won't be away from mine
offers.
NASTYA Listen, the word is not a joke: having given the word, you must keep it, and I
I don't know your son.
ZOLOTNIKOV So what? He's waiting here in the living room.

EVENT 4.

ZOLOTNIKOV E "yes" in any way here is the hostess! Ege-ge-ge, how it has changed!
Waist was in a glass, and now, thank you Lord "Daria Semyonovna,
do you recognize me?
DARIA SEMENOVNA(looking) Guilty, sir.
ZOLOTNIKOV Remember well.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Let me" No, I can't.
ZOLOTNIKOV Thank you, Daria Semyonovna. Let me ask you, do you play?
are you still on the piano?
DARIA SEMENOVNA And, father, where should I go?
ZOLOTNIKOV And remember, in the nineteenth year in Kazan "
DARIA SEMENOVNA My God, Vasily Petrovich!
ZOLOTNIKOV Az is sinful. Here is the time. Became a different person.
(points to the vest) There was nothing here - it appeared. (points to head)
There was a lot - almost nothing left. Darya Semyonovna did not recognize!
DARIA SEMENOVNA So God brought me to meet. Am I so old to you, father
I seem like you to me? Yes, I heard you got rich terribly.
ZOLOTNIKOV From grief, Darya Semyonovna. How you denied me, remember I
entered into business, into trading, to his misfortune, got rich and out of desperation and got married.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Out of persistence, right; and what are the fates here?
ZOLOTNIKOV There are things to do, but he brought his son.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you have many children?
ZOLOTNIKOV One son in all.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Married?
ZOLOTNIKOV No, still single.
DARIA SEMENOVNA I beg you to sit down. Nastenka, look, they are lit
Are there candles in the living room. Sit down please; what the hell were we talking about?
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, about the son; I want to marry him.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Oh, be careful, Vasily Petrovich! In Petersburg
the girls are all good looking; and how they get married, it is immediately clear that upbringing
not that, not at all. I have a daughter, so I can boast.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I spoke to her now.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And no! You spoke to my niece, an orphan,
which I keep out of mercy. I am a mother, Vasily Petrovich, ... but I will tell you that
my daughter was brought up like this, so prepared"
MASHA(backstage) Mommy!
DARIA SEMENOVNA What, my light?
MASHA They brought the dress.
DARIA SEMENOVN And now, my friend; and such an innocent baby will shame.
ZOLOTNIKOV This is what I need. Sasha is my kind little one, only in
his head is still windy; told him he had two million"
DARIA SEMENOVNA Two million?
ZOLOTNIKOV Two million. So believe me, his heart is so tender,
as soon as he sees a skirt, he will melt; every day, then in love; what will you become
do! Well, for a prank it would be nothing, but in the summer, in Tambov, he decided to marry
on some intrigue. Fortunately, the hussar turned up, otherwise I would have been with him forever
cried. I see things badly: my son is with me to St. Petersburg, and to you, Daria
Semyonovna, I know from old memory that you will not refuse good advice; and you,
I heard daughter. Who knows? Maybe our children will meet, fall in love"
If not we, then our children, Darya Semyonovna, isn't it?
DARIA SEMENOVNA What an old thing to remember!
ZOLOTNIKOV He won't come back, really. Well, let's love the children"
Let me kiss your hand.
DARIA SEMENOVNA With pleasure.
ZOLOTNIKO And the hand has grown old; do you sniff tobacco?
DARIA SEMENOVNA For the eyes, Vasily Petrovich.
MASHA Mother, come here; how insufferable you are!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Now, now, my angel "I'll bring her to you now" Don't
be too strict.

PHENOMENON 5.

ZOLOTNIKOV Lord, what a change! I did not recognize "here's a lesson for you,
Vasily Petrovich "Thirty years remembered her with pleasure" imagined
her former beauty. And that's what made me want to come here!
Ah, the right is worse than a slap in the face,
How not to see each other for thirty years,
You will find an old woman in the ruins
Love is an enthusiastic subject.
Oh! Dasha! In previous years
We met with you not like that;
(With a sigh) Then you smelled the flowers,
Now - you sniff tobacco!

EVENT 6.

ALEXANDER(throws himself around his father's neck) Father, hug me. I agree"
be your way "I'm not marrying her" I like her, I like her very much. I
satisfied, I'm glad, I'm happy, prosperous" Father, hug me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Wait!
ALEXANDER No, hug me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, listen!
ALEXANDER No, hug me: like this again. It's over, it's decided, I
I will do your will: I will marry her, and precisely with her, not with anyone else, but with
her! Here's an idea, here's the father" Hug me again.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, listen!
ALEXANDER Eyes, waist, hair "what kind of character" can now be seen. Father,
bless!
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, get off, please" We made a mistake, it's not her.
ALEXANDER How is she not? She, she, she! I don't want her to be not her!
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I myself was mistaken: you think that I said there in the living room with
daughter"
ALEXANDER Well, yes.
ZOLOTNIKOV That's the thing, she's not a daughter.
ALEXANDER Why not a daughter? She was not born without a father and without a mother? ..
Is she someone's daughter?
ZOLOTNIKOV She is a niece.
ALEXANDER Doesn't matter.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, they tell you that she is a niece.
ALEXAND R Yes, even if she was an uncle, I still marry her! yours
there was a will" the will of the father is the law.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I read you another.
ALEXANDER No, the father's will is the law!.. I don't want another.
ZOLOTNIKOV Don't make noise, they're coming here.
ALEXANDER So let them go, "tell them not to go.
ZOLOTNIKOV Just take a look.
ALEXANDER And I don't want to look.

EVENT 7.

DARIA SEMENOVN And here's my Masha, Vassily Petrovich; please love
to complain. (in ear) Hold on tight! (loudly) She's shy. (on
ear) Yes, sit down well. (out loud) Excuse her, Vasily Petrovich:
she is not a secular girl, she is all for needlework and books.
MASHA (in her mother's ear) Stop it, mama!
DARIA SEMENOVNA No, I tell her: "What are you, Masha, in your summer eyes
spoil, "in your summer you have to look for pleasure, have fun," and she told me
says: "No, mother, I do not want your worldly pleasures, what is in them"
Women's business is not to dance and not to flirt, but to be a good wife, gentle
mother."
MASHA Mommy, I'm leaving
DARIA SEMENOVNA Believe me, I gave her the whole household in her hands -
let him get used to it, but in his free time he plays music, draws "wherever
you have this head that you came without a teacher, you know, this
Apollo Velbedersky?
MASHA(out loud) Ripped off. (in his ear) Mommy, I'm tired of you!
ZOLOTNIKOV And here, madam, and my son. (to his son) Bow down!
ALEXANDER Don't want.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Very nice to meet you: it's your first visit
to us in St. Petersburg?
ALEXANDER Yes!
DARIA SEMENOVNA How long are you thinking of staying here?
ALEXANDER No.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Why is this so?
ALEXAND R So.
MASHA Ah, mother, your questions are not very modest: maybe they
unpleasant.
DARIA SEMENOVNA But where can I be able to speak with the young? That's your business
engage young people. Let's go, Vasily Petrovich; how many years
seen each other, there is something to talk about "(in ear) Let them get to know each other; without us
will be more free.
ZOLOTNIKOV Certainly.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And you, darling, manage here without me; it's time
get used to: today a girl, and tomorrow you yourself, maybe you will live in a house committee.
Everything is in the will of the Lord.
(kisses her forehead and speaks into her ear) Don't forget! Two million! (Aloud)
Let's go, Vasily Petrovich.

phenomenon 8

.
MASHA(aside) He seems to be unpolished at all. Ah, what a pity!
ALEXANDER(aside) Well, how can it be compared with that one! That eye
waist, hair" However, this decent one is so-so.
MASHA Do you want to sit down?
ALEXANDER No, why!

Silence

MASHA How do you like our Petersburg?
ALEXANDER(absent) What-o-s?
MASHA Petersburg do you like?
ALEXANDER Petersburg, right? Famous city!
MASHA When did you arrive?
ALEXANDER On the very day of magnetic lighting, deigned, of course,
hear?
MASHA Yes, I heard it, but I didn't see it."

Silence

Have you been to the Passage yet?
ALEXANDER How, just now, he ate hearth pies downstairs.
MASHA You like?
ALEXANDER Pies, right?
MASHA No" Passage.
ALEXANDER pleasant walk.
MASHA Why don't you sit down?
ALEXANDER Do not worry! (aside) Eyes, what eyes! Where is
I had eyes that I didn't notice her eyes!
MASHA We have a glorious opera this year.
ALEXAND R They say.
MASHA Are you a musician yourself?
ALEXANDER How, sir! I play a little.
MASHA On pianos?
ALEXAND R Mostly on the French horn.
MASHA A!
ALEXANDER What about you? (softening up)
MASHA I drink a little.
ALEXANDER Really? It is so pleasant! (aside) I don't know why she
I didn't like it the first time. She is very, very sweet "And what a manner
beautiful. (To her) I really don't know if I dare to ask you.
MASHA How?
ALEXANDER I say "I don't know if I dare to ask you..
MASHA What?
ALEXAND R I don't know if I dare to ask the first time, "Encourage,
Please.
MASHA(coquettishly) Why? What do you want?
ALEXANDER Dare I ask "for example" (aside) Yes, it's lovely, eh
not a girl" (to her) Be happy, please let me hear it.
MASHA Yes, we are waiting for guests.
ALEXANDER Have time.
MASHA I'm really out of my voice.
ALEXANDER Try it.
MASHA(flirty) Only for you" (going to the piano)
ALEXAND R (aside) For you, for me "She said for you" I told her
liked the "Yes, it's not a girl" charm!
MASHA Only you accompany, please; I have a new romance here.
ALEXANDER With pleasure (sits down at the piano)
MASHA
Tell me what's in the shade of the branches
When nature rests
The spring nightingale sings
And what does he express in song?
What secretly excites everyone's blood?
Say, say what's the word
Familiar to everyone and forever new?
Love!
Tell me what's in private
In thought, the girl wonders?
What a secret thrill in a dream
Does she promise fear and joy?
Call that disease strange,
In which there is eternal joy.
What can she expect? What does she need?
Love!
When from life longing
You, weary, languish
And, contrary to evil sadness,
At least you invoke the ghost of happiness"
What delights your breast?
Are not those unearthly sounds,
When you first heard -
I love?!

ALEXANDER(jumps up from his chair and runs to Masha) Oh, what a voice! What
for the vote! What feeling! What a soul! You drove me crazy; I" I'm delighted
I'm going crazy now if you don't let me hope.
MASHA How to hope?
ALEXANDER Don't you know anything?
MASHA No.
ALEXANDER you don't know that your old woman was in love sometime before
in my old man?
MASHA How about mommy too? That's what I wouldn't have thought. Yes, she doesn't tell me
talked about it.
ALEXANDER Yes, they never talk about it. Here, father, I invented
so that I would be on you "or you are for me. It's all the same" only it depends on you.
Well, in love, in love, totally in love. Well, how do you disagree, I
I will be the most miserable mortal.
MASHA So say it.
ALEXANDER Father wishes my happiness; he only thinks about me
happiness; Yes, and I wish myself happiness - who does not wish himself happiness! Only you,
maybe you don't want my happiness?
MASHA Forgive me" why?
ALEXANDER How? Do you want my happiness?.. Really?
MASHA Of course.
ALEXANDER So can I hope?
MASHA I depend on my mother.
ALEXANDER It's not about mommy, it's about mommy; you tell me about yourself
say "can i like you?
MASHA(cheeky) Why not?
ALEXANDER Marya "how about the father?
MASHA Petrovna.
ALEXANDER Masha! I am the happiest person in the world, I will become you
love, love, love like no one has ever loved before, and never will!
MASHA Yes, wait.
ALEXANDER Why wait, wait? This is hypocrisy; I do not want to wait; I
love you, we love each other, we will be happy; we will have children;
make of me what you will; order, dispose, only allow
prove my love to you.
MASHA You are truly a strange person. However, listen, today we have
dance night.
ALEXANDER Do you want to dance with me? Don't ask as much as I can.
MASHA All the same, only, you see, I don't have a bouquet.
ALEXANDER So what? What do you want a bouquet for?
MASHA It's in fashion: to have a bouquet in your hands" Don't you understand?
ALEXANDER No.
MASHA Well, I'll tell you: go for a bouquet, only from fresh flowers.
ALEXANDER Yes, where will I go?
MASHA Wherever you want: it's up to you. And I need to receive guests"
goodbye (holds out hand)
ALEXANDER(kissing her hand) What a pen!
What pens, just amazing!
I would be ready to kiss the century.
MASHA
Well, go ahead, while
Bring me flowers.
ALEXANDER
What kind of weirdness
What is the use for you in a bouquet!
Why do you need other people's flowers,
You are the best flower!

EVENT 9.

ZOLOTNIKOV Where are you crazy?
ALEXANDER Father, I congratulate you with a bouquet!.. Hug me! I will fulfill
your order "Your desire is the law for me! Yes! I will marry her" I
happy .. I'm all reborn "From fresh flowers.
ZOLOTNIKOV So what happened?
ALEXANDER How what happened? I'm in love at your command. Will
paternal - the law! Yes! It's up to you, I'll marry when you want, even today"
Parent, bless.
ZOLOTNIKOV Let me explain first.
ALEXANDER No, hug, hug like a parent .. That's it! It's over! I
marry her!
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, who is on it?
ALEXANDER On her!
ZOLOTNIKOV On your niece?
ALEXANDER On the daughter.
ZOLOTNIKOV On Nastenka?
ALEXANDER On Mashenka, on my Mashenka, on Marya Petrovna. For all
she is Marya Petrovna, but for me Mashenka!
ZOLOTNIKOV But how did you tell me that you were in love with another, with the first?
ALEXANDER In the first? .. no! It seemed to me so; however, she
very, very, very nice girl. Only this you yourself, my father, to me
appointed, and besides, she sings "so she sings! Father, have you heard Grisi?
ZOLOTNIKOV No, I didn't.
ALEXANDER And I have not heard, so that's how he sings. Well, let's go!
ZOLOTNIKOV How are we going?
ALEXANDER Yes, we are going for bouquets, for sweets .. She wants this, she
ordered; well, take your hat - let's go!
ZOLOTNIKO Yes, go alone.
ALEXANDER No, I’m going alone: ​​I won’t find anything; back now.
ZOLOTNIKOV Please explain at least.
ALEXANDER Dear, I'll explain everything. Don't forget that fate depends on it
of my life. Well, let's go.

PHENOMENON 10.

KUBYRKINA This is your pad, mother, of course.
KATE Boudoir, mother
KUBYRKINA Well, it doesn't matter, General's wife Akhlebova has exactly the same one;
Tell me how everyone lives in St. Petersburg!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Haven't been here for a long time?
KUBYRKINA Fifteen years; joke to say! I just have to admit
expensive for you.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, not cheap.
KUBYRKIN And Pardon me, why don’t you take on "beef loin 34 kopecks!
Have you heard of it! Believer, she rented an apartment like we have in Tambov
the lawyer would not want to live "What do not start, such a fumble"
KATE Damn, mama.
KUBYRKINA Doesn't matter.
MASHA(to Katya) Is your dress sewn at home or in a store?
KATE Of course, in the store.
MASHA(aside) Lied; now you can see that at home. (To her) And where is the cape
took?
KATE In the passage.
MASHA Very nice.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you, Agrafena Grigoryevna, play cards?
KUBYRKINA Passionate hunter, mother, but not out of interest, but like that,
by small.
DARIA SEMENOVNA How much do you travel now? The balls have begun"
KUBYRKINA Unfortunately, my Katenka fell ill; it's good that nature
strong, recovered soon, otherwise the doctor was afraid that a recitative would be made.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Relapse, mother.
KUBYRKINA And, mother, relapse, recitative - all the same. Where is your
room, Marya Petrovna?
MASHA Here, on this side.
KUBYRKINA Ah, let me inquire.
MASHA Please.
KUBYRKINA Let's go, Katenka.
KATE I'll come now, mother; I'll just fix the curls.

EVENT 11.

KATE(alone in front of a mirror) How mannered this Mashenka is! What is she from
nose up? That's the importance of what lives in St. Petersburg. Am I worse than her? Well,
what? .. just nothing, just nothing worse.
I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in Petersburg
Kati from Tambov!
Against the ladies of others
I'm no worse!
I will become no less than them,
Narrower at the waist
Thick hair in a braid,
And besides, since childhood I
Learned all the secrets
female coquetry;
I know, loving pranks,
How to lie with your heart
How probably yourself
Make love
And my eyes and gaze
Forever playing tricks:
They will give you a smile
Then they will infuriate with ridicule.
I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in Petersburg
Kati from Tambov!

PHENOMENON 12.

ALEXANDER Here is the bouquet "I got it forcibly .. Here's another (drops everything) God you R
my! Who do I see? Katerina Ivanovna!
KATE Alexander Vasilyevich! Oh! (faints into a chair)
ALEXANDER She's sick" she's sick! I scared "This is for me" Help!
Help!
KATE Don't scream!
ALEXANDER woke up Katerina Ivanovna woke up!

Katya faints again

Fu, again a seizure; she will suffocate in a corset like that .. Are there any scissors
cut the lacing "Oh, by the way .. (takes hastily from the dressing table
scissors)
KATE(jumping up) Stay away! Do not touch! What do you need? Why do you
Here? It's not enough for you that you deceived me, that after all your promises,
assurances, you abandoned me, an orphan? Go, don't show your face to me!
ALEXANDER Here are those on! How am I still to blame?
KATE He asks "is he guilty?" Yes, you are a monster, not a man! You
Don Juan shameless!
ALEXANDER What is Don Juan?
KATE None of your business! Answer "explain your act. I really don't
I know how I'm talking to you. Well, please tell me "Do you live with us in
village "You pretend to be in love, look for my hand, and when I, how
inexperienced, defenseless girl began to feel inclined towards you"
ALEXANDER Please don't look at me like that"
KATE When I agreed to your offer, I entrust my fate to you,
you suddenly leave without saying a word, without saying goodbye, without even getting drunk
tea "like a thief for sure" (crying) Oh, I'm unhappy! What did I do?
ALEXANDER No, please, "No, please," Look at me
KATE Please"
ALEXANDER(aside) Fu you, the abyss "Prettier again" (To her) What,
I mean, I wanted to ask? Yes, let me ask you what you wanted from me
do?
KATE Like what "I thought that you would be my husband. Well, is it okay? Well
tell me after that, who do you look like?
ALEXANDER I look like a mother, "but that's not the point. What kind of husband did you want
me to do?
KATE What husband? Ordinary.
ALEXANDER Yes, how ordinary?

I would really like to know
Which husbands
A week after the wedding
Would hit, sinner, am I with you?
All in half for wives with husbands,
How will the Lord bless them?
But what about the husband, tell yourself
Hussar will share with you?
KATE What hussar?
ALEXANDER What? Don't know which hussar? But that hussar-repairer,
who visited you in the village!
KATE Yes, he is my brother.
ALEXANDER What brother?
KATE Second cousin.
ALEXANDER I know these brothers! Thank you for such a brotherhood; servant
obedient!
KATE you forget"
ALEXANDER No, on the contrary, I remember very well "Don't pretend - I'm all
I know.
KATE What do you know?
ALEXANDER I know that he wrote letters to you.
KATE Not true!
ALEXANDER that's great! I read it myself, and what kind of letters are these "" Angel
my, Katenka! "My angel" where do they study, hussars, to write such letters?
KATE So you're angry about it?
ALEXANDER Little, right? What else would you like?
Katya laughs.
Well, what are you laughing at?
KATE sorry, you're so funny!
ALEXANDER Who am I funny? No, I'm not funny, I'm offended" Can you
explain why you received hussar letters?
KATE There is nothing easier.
ALEXANDER Well, try and explain!
KATYA I don't want to.
ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, please explain.
KATE You are not worth it.
ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna! I beg you, explain" do not be cruel.
KATE Well, then listen; Do you remember Katenka Rybnikova?
ALEXANDER what was your guest? Please, she is Avdotya.
KATE This is the older sister, and that other; these letters to her, I only
betrayed. He even wanted to marry her.
ALEXANDER How, really? Ah, Katerina Ivanovna! I'm a fool, a villain
wicked, slanderer! Torment me, beat me! Guilty without guilt! And for what
These hussars climbed into my head? Forgive me, Katerina Ivanovna!
KATE No, it's too late now.
ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, are you innocent?
KATE Well, of course! And yet, as you wish.
ALEXAND R (kneeling down) Katerina Ivanovna, be generous,
don't make me die of grief.
KATE(crying) No! I'm a poor girl, I love hussars" Me every
can offend "I am destined to be unhappy forever - love forever yes
suffer alone.
ALEXANDER(on her knees) Katerina Ivanovna, forgive me.
KATE Will you be jealous anymore?
ALEXAND R Never, Katerina Ivanovna "only"

PHENOMENON 13.

ZOLOTNIKOV(at the door) Bah! What news is this!

Katya runs away

ALEXANDER Father, this is she, Katerina Ivanovna, Katya Tambovskaya! I
the monster of the human race hussars wrote letters to Rybnikova, wanted to marry
on Rybnikova, and she, my Katenka, loved and suffered me"
ZOLOTNIKO Yes, at least speak Russian.
ALEXANDER She suffered, father, but she loved for me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, brother, you're out of your mind!
ALEXANDER Father, hug me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Get off, blockhead; crushed everything!
ALEXANDER No, I must, I want, I decided to make amends
crime "I am obliged to Katya; I cannot do otherwise: I am marrying
Katenka, on my Katenka.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, marry whom you want; you bored me at last. I'm giving you
a quarter of an hour to change my mind, and only there I order to be examined in the provincial
government and put me in a lunatic asylum. There will be no patience! Do you hear
Is there an answer in a quarter of an hour!
ALEXAND R Father! Hug only.
ZOLOTNIKOV Get off me you donkey!

PHENOMENON 14.

ALEXANDER(alone, walking around the room) No! Here's the position" Here's the position. I
I'm going to marry Katerina Ivanovna, that's decided; this is my sacred duty.. But
I asked for Marya Petrovna's hand; I excited her imagination" And what a girl
Marya Petrovna! Charm, ideal, reason death. , very much and I wanted to
to marry! Yes, here is Nastenka, niece, and it would not be bad on her
marry "That's the situation! They won't let you marry three, but not enough for one! Here
it's a tender heart! Here's what it brings! And then the priest with a knife stuck;
it was easy for him, after all, he married his mother, but what about me? Just killed
killed! Katenka, Nastenka, Masha; Nastenka, Mashenka, Katenka "What do I need
do? I'm dying in the bloom of years! (falls into a large-backed chair, so
it is not visible.)

EVENT 15.

DARIA SEMENOVNA I can't get enough of your Katenka, Agrafena
Grigorievna: in the full sense of the beauty!
KUBYRKINA Much mercy, Darya Semyonovna. Why don't you look at strangers! On
your Mashenka, I have tea, you won’t have time to stop looking. We were talking about her the other day
General Akhlebova. That's a girl, you can say that a girl!
DARIA SEMENOVNA She kept everything to herself, but did you raise yours at home?
KUBYRKINA At home, Darya Semyonovna.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Please tell me what tricks exactly in the big
she lived in the light of the ages .. and what modesty, how she keeps herself!
KUBYRKINA I’m already pleased, Darya Semyonovna, that she is with your
Mashenka got closer. Believe me, it's been a month since we arrived, and I
I find that Katenka won a lot. Yes, from whom to adopt, if not from yours
Masha? Here is an exemplary girl and what a bell-ohm!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Bel fam, you mean.
KUBYRKINA Yes, mother, it's all the same" Well, there's nothing to say, feast for the eyes
your Masha.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And do you think your Katenka is not fun to look at?
KUBYRKINA What manners!
DARIA SEMENOVNA What a bon-ton!
KUBYRKINA What a pleasure!
DARIA SEMENOVNA What a touch of conversation!
KUBYRKINA It is impossible not to congratulate
DARIA SEMENOVNA From the side you will rejoice.
KUBYRKINA I'm surprised she's not married yet! Suitors something, I think, and
can't be counted!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, there is - fourteen generals got married.
KUBYRKINA(aside) Lying" just lying!
DARIA SEMENOVNA There were colonels and captains, the prince was alone. Only me
Mashenka is not bondage, let her choose herself. After all, she will have to live together, and not
to me. However, as a good friend, I can tell you a secret: today I
She spoke to her car.
KUBYRKINA Really? Here came a happy day, and I told Katenka
Today.
DARIA SEMENOVNA My daughter is marrying a rich man; yeah, that's not the point
a good person. You may have heard about Alexander Zolotnikov?
KUBYRKINA What? Here are the rubbish! My daughter is marrying Zolotnikov; They
engaged for a long time, and now they decided again.
DARIA SEMENOVNA No, excuse me... he immediately asked for Mashenka's hand in marriage.
KUBYRKINA No, not Mashenka, but Katenka.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Masha, they tell you!
KUBYRKINA No, sir, Katenka "Your Masha, of course, is a nice girl,
however, where can she compare with my Katenka! It's not very noticeable, though.
however, everyone knows that she is a little crooked.
DARYA SEMENOVNA How? Masha my crooked side! Do you have eyes
lopsided! I will order her to undress in front of you. Crooked-sided! That's great! Not
did you get it from the fact that your daughter is all on cotton wool?
KUBYRKINA what? Is my daughter on cotton wool? I have a wadded coat, not a daughter, my
daughter is not a salop. My daughter was born as she is, and she only wears a dress
for decency. She has no one to deceive.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, and does not deceive; Zolotnikov for nothing that is not distant
mind, but not such a vulgar fool as to marry your daughter.
KUBYRKINA And why?
DARIA SEMENOVNA But because everyone knows that your daughter ran for
a hussar officer who laughed at her, and even abandoned her; and then poor
an orphan was slandered, who is not guilty either in soul or body. Noble
deed! Hussar himself told.
KUBYRKINA You dare say that to me.. You! And don't you think
everyone knows that your lopsided is in love with an Italian singer? Shame,
they say to look at her like she is sitting in an opera.. everyone laughs!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you seem to forget? I won't let you in
I command.
KUBYRKINA I won't go myself; and without you we will find, thank God, an acquaintance:
general's wife Akhlebova and better than you, may she find pleasure with me.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And I don’t hold back, mother, I don’t hold back!
KUBYRKINA Farewell, mother, I'll go for Katya. My leg is not with you
will!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Good riddance!
KUBYRKINA And your daughter will not marry our fiancé .. she will not!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yours will sit in the girls!
KUBYRKINA I won't let you joke with me; my uncle is a senator, I will find
protect yourself! Leave as soon as possible so it doesn't get worse!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, I tell you, "Yes, I tell you," yes, this is unheard of rudeness! Yes you
don't mess with me like that! Farewell, I would not see you for a century!

EVENT 16.

ALEXANDER(from behind the chair) there she is! Here she is! That's what she is!
One is crooked, the other is on cotton wool. One loves the hussars, the other the Italian" and both
They tell me I'm stupid! (running out from behind the chair) So no, not a fool! I don't
let me be fooled. I'll do it my way! I will choose the third, that is, the first,
not one or the other, but the third, that is, the first! Here she is, what kind of thing, here
she, here she is! (seeing Nastya) Yes, here she is! Wait, ma'am, let me
tell you two words.
NASTYA To me?
ALEXANDER Are you angry with me?
NASTYA For what?
ALEXANDER Well, well, admit that you are angry?
NASTYA Not at all.
ALEXANDER How! I showed you so much attention from the first time, and
then he turned to completely foreign subjects.
NASTYA So what!
ALEXAND R Let me first ask, do you have any relatives of the hussars?
NASTYA No.
ALEXANDER You don't sing Italian arias?
NASTYA I don't have a voice.
ALEXANDER What a precious girl you are! Nastasya "how about the father?
NASTYA Pavlovna.
ALEXANDER Nastenka! I solemnly offer my hand to you.
NASTYA Oh my god! Of course you are not healthy! Do not send for
doctor?
ALEXANDER You will be my doctor.
NASTYA Sorry, I don't have time" (wants to leave)
ALEXANDER(holding) No, decide first the fate of my life. Not
be embarrassed only; Tell me, would you be pleased if I married you?
NASTYA I wonder how you dare to talk to me like that. I'm poor
girl, but I will not allow cheeky jokes.
ALEXANDER Yes, please, I'm not kidding; I have a positive intention
marry you.
NASTYA Who told you that I should share this intention! Why are you
They took me to marry the first person I met? I know in Petersburg
rich suitors are not afraid of rejection, but for me there is much more in life
except for money. There, in the living room, they said now that you have two million, and,
I confess that on this occasion I heard so much that I felt disgusted.
However, it is not difficult for you to marry, just say the word "and the brides will come running
from all sides, and what I need is not a wallet, but a person whom I could
love and respect. Farewell!
ALEXANDER Nastasya Pavlovna! Listen to me.
NASTYA For what? You made a mistake in me: I'm not like the others "Where can you understand
the pride of a poor girl who, in the absence of other treasures, keeps
mental wealth? She will not exchange her soul for a luxury she does not need;
she can take pity and make her happy, because she values ​​herself highly, but
never sell himself.
ALEXANDER So you refuse me, Nastasya Pavlovna?
NASTYA Decisively.
ALEXANDER And do you give up hope?
NASTYA Not the slightest.
ALEXANDER Listen, Nastasya Pavlovna, I am stupid, ridiculous, impudent, ignorant.
- whatever you want; only, really, I'm not a bad person. I have tender
heart; well, am I to blame; Well, believe me, I keep thinking how to get attached,
fall in love pretty, and then that's it! Soul something, soul something and whispers:
"Get attached, blockhead, get attached," - well, and here, as if on purpose, fate
teases. Now a hussar turns up, then some Italian, and I'm in the cold with
money! Well, what is this money to me, tell me yourself .. Everyone wants my money, but
me, no one wants me.
NASTYA(aside) He's really pathetic. (out loud) Look, don't
hurry up - you will find, maybe.
ALEXANDER Yes, I want you, Nastasya Pavlovna; you open my eyes. I
feel like a new person; take pity on my wealthy position.
NASTYA I told you my decisive answer. Rest assured that I
spoke to you out of conviction, and not out of empty coquetry. Don't be angry at
me; this lesson may be useful to you; when you get too forgetful
with some women, you will involuntarily remember that there are those who do not
only deserve, but even require respect.
(coldly sits down and leaves.)

PHENOMENON 17.

ALEXANDER Fu you, the abyss! It doesn't get any easier from time to time. Just now it was three
brides, and now none!
ZOLOTNIKOV(at the door) Well, have you made up your mind?
ALEXANDER Wait, wait"
ZOLOTNIKOV Whom to congratulate?
ALEXANDER Yes, with no one: refused!
ZOLOTNIKOV Who, Katya?
ALEXANDER No.
ZOLOTNIKOV Masha?
ALEXANDER Not really!
ZOLOTNIKOV So who is it?
MASHA(enters) Alexander Vasilyevich, what does this mean? Is it true that you
Did you propose to Katenka? Do you want to insult me? Only it's not like that
manage "I have a brother in the Caucasus .. You will not get rid of him. Hear
whether?
ALEXANDER I really don't understand what you want.
ZOLOTNIKOV here she is!
KUBYRKINA ( enters) She is already here, but what am I? I'll take it out, I won't leave
together. Marya Petrovna, I left a handkerchief in your room. Let
get.
MASHA(aside) How obnoxious! It came just in time! (out loud) Now
I'll bring
KUBYRKINA Sorry to bother you! (leaves)
KATE(enters) Alexander Vasilievich, what have I learned? you wanted again
deceive me: you are marrying Masha. It's too much" It won't work for you
for nothing - my second cousin will stand up for me, will fight with you on
pistols, kill, certainly kill!
ZOLOTNIKOV This one is good too.
DARIA SEMENOVNA(enters) So it is, she has already picked up a good fellow: and I
for what? Katerina Ivanovna, your mother is calling you.
KATE(aside) She came at the right time, so that she "(out loud) Where is she?
DARIA SEMENOVNA It seems to have gone here, I will take you (to the side)
I won't leave both.
ALEXANDER Hear, father, what a story.
ZOLOTNIKOV Be quiet!
NASTYA(walking across the stage) Ah, I thought you were gone.
ALEXANDER No, I'm going... I'm going." Nastasya Pavlovna, I'm in despair.

Kubyrkin, Katya, Masha, Darya Semyonovna run out of different doors and
rush at Alexander, patter and almost simultaneously.

DARIA SEMENOVNA No, it can't stay like this!
KUBYRKINA This should be explained!
MASHA Yes, please tell the truth!
KATE I have suffered enough for you!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Did you marry my Mashenka?
KUBYRKINA Did you marry my Katenka?
DARIA SEMENOVNA I won't let you hurt my daughter.
KUBYRKINA And I will complain; My uncle is a senator.
KATE So why are you bulging your eyes?
MASHA What are you standing in your tracks for? Speak up, explain!
ZOLOTNIKOV(running out) Sasha, Sasha! Are you here? Sasha, we are gone!
Dead! Trouble has happened! I'm bad!
ALEXANDER(with fear) Father! What happened to you?
ZOLOTNIKOV Bursted! Bursted!
ALEXANDER Who burst?
ZOLOTNIKOV Tambov.
ALL Tambov!
ALEXANDER What, an earthquake?
ZOLOTNIKOV That is, not Tambov, but the Tambov ransom, the pledges are all gone -
after all, two million was "all my fortune! Here is a letter received.
there was only one village left, and that one was under the hammer "Sasha! We have nothing more.
ALEXANDER Well, thank God! And I was so scared: I thought that with you
cholera has come! Well, why scream like that? You will not have money, but I
what, what am I on?
NASTYA(listening) Yes, he is a noble man!
MASHA Ah, poor Katerina Ivanovna!
KATE Ah, unfortunate Marya Petrovna!
KUBYRKINA I feel sorry for you, Vasily Petrovich, here! You can say"
unpleasant contraction.
KATE Kontrdans, mother.
KUBYRKINA Doesn't matter; you just have to humble yourself before Providence "your son
young; now he will settle down, as he marries Marya Petrovna.
DARIA SEMENOVNA No, your son wooed Katerina Ivanovna; I have her
I don’t beat off suitors - let them live happily.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, let me ask: who is marrying Sasha?
MASHA Of course not me!
KATE Yes, and not me!
ZOLOTNIKOV(to Nastya) Isn't it you?
ALEXANDER No, father, she refused me and the rich one! Let's get out of here
it's time to take up the mind, money made my head spin, such
went crazy in the head. Now you have to be human. What are you
you think I'm a blockhead, a chair, some kind of beast, I don't feel what I do to you
must? You did your best for me, thank God, now mine
queue. I will provide for you, feed you, go to anything, to the store, to
day laborers, shoemakers, artisans, farm laborers, journalists,
writers! (to the audience) Gentlemen, does anyone have a seat? Without protection, you
you know, it's hard. Do not refuse, I will justify: honest, kind, devoted,
be satisfied! Well, let's go, father, let's be ourselves, and not an addition to
to your money. This lesson is worth all your wealth.
ZOLOTNIKOV Well, let's go.
NASTYA Wait a minute, Alexander Vasilievich, I'm to blame for you.
ALEXANDER You?
NASTYA I offended you just now, because I did not know your nobility
feelings.
ALEXANDER Do not speak, do not speak, otherwise the heart will go up again
bottom; I don't dare to marry now.
NASTYA And I can only now agree to your proposal; in my
a lot of pride and I feel that I can replace everything that you have lost. Here
you my hand.
ALEXAND R What do I hear? .. Nastenka "Nastasya pavlovna!
ZOLOTNIKOV My daughter! Hug me" Well, and you hug me, only in
last time.
KATE How touching!
KUBYRKINA That's stupidity!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, tell me, Vasily Petrovich, how could this misfortune
happen to you?
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, if you please, mother, it didn’t happen, but it could
just happen.
KUBYRKINA What does it mean?
ZOLOTNIKOV And this means that last year I gave up all
farming, and two million will go, so be it, Nastenka on pins.
Cunning, mother, sinful man! Here Sasha wanted to rescue his.
NASTYA So you fooled me?
DARIA SEMENOVNA It's out of hand!
MASHA Who is Nastya? After all, she did, she must have guessed.
KATE I knew everything in advance; However, I'm very happy!
KUBYRKINA It doesn't look like anything; we will not let ourselves be fooled; I have
uncle senator!
SERVANT the guests have arrived.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Let's go, Masha. There is nothing for us to do here. And you,
mother, congratulations, master! Repaid for my troubles! Got everyone through!
NASTYA I tricked everyone, "They really think" This is unbearable! No,
I'd rather say no.
ZOLOTNIKOV And who said that the word is sacred? No, if any sense
be afraid, and it will be impossible to live. No, let them say whatever they want, but we
a merry feast and for the wedding.
ALEXANDER Hurry, father!
ZOLOTNIKOV That's it! And you look at your wife, but knock the trifles out of your head, and
you will have joy and consolation, and not trouble from a tender heart.
ALEXAND R:
Having finished his adventures,
Now at this decisive hour,
I must ask for indulgence
For the writer and us.
We are afraid that we are tired
You console us, gentlemen,
So that the hearts of gentle trouble
The trouble did not come out really!

Zolotnikov
Alexander
Daria
Semyonovna
Masha
Nastenka
Kubyrkin
Kate
Servant
Hairdresser
Footman.

PHENOMENON 1.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Oh, my God! Still no pink dress. What is it? The dress is ordered for this evening, and you will receive it tomorrow morning. Everything is right here, everything is right. Such an annoyance: I would just beat someone! Nastya! Nastya! Nastenka!

NASTYA I'm here, auntie.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA. Well, thank God! Where have you been, mother? Everything in my head is nonsense, but there is nothing to think about my aunt; did you send to marchande de modes?

NASTYA Sent, auntie.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Well, what about Mashenka's dress?

NASTYA Done, aunt"

DARYA SEMYONOVNA So why don't they carry it?

NASTYA Yes, aunt"

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Why are you grumbling?

NASTYA (quietly) Without money, aunty, they don't give it back; they say they owe a lot.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA What are you trying to be rude to me, mother, or what? Here is gratitude: she took a round orphan home to her, I feed, clothe, and she still speaks taunts to me. No, my dear, I will not let you forget. What? They brought crackers, huh? .. They are spinning ice cream ”Huh? .. You won’t think about anything. Well, why are you standing in your tracks? You see, Mashenka has not yet been combed; give me the pins.

MASHA Here, I would put rings on my forehead, “like this.” Mom, as you please, but they won’t bring a dress - I won’t go out for anything; I'll stay in my room, say I'm sick. As you please.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA What are you? What you? Lost her mind! For you I make the evening, but you will not be; would you like me to dance instead of you? We will have the very first wives, that is, gentlemen.

MASHA Yes! That's exactly how they'll go.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA And why, mother, won't they go?

MASHA What have they forgotten here? After all, the ball is now better than yours; I told you to postpone, but you want everything in your own way.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA It's time for you to get married, Mashenka, otherwise my strength is lacking with these evenings. Look, Prince Kurdyukov will be here today, try to please him.

NASTYA Oh, aunty, he's an old man!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Nobody asks you. Well, what an old man, his money is young. Servant enters with a letter

Who is this from? “well” (with annoyance) Excellent, incomparable” Prince Kurdyukov apologizes, it can’t be.

MASHA Well, what did I say!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA What, Mashenka, should I send for a pink dress? After all, there will be no prince.

MASHA, of course, send.” What do you think? That I, because of your old man, will go without a dress, or what?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Ah, Mashenka, you should at least be ashamed of people.

MASHA He's French, he doesn't understand.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Well, then I'll go for the money, I'll send for a dress.

MASHA It's high time... well, well, go on.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA So she raised a bride for herself - ruin and nothing more! (Exits.)

PHENOMENON 2.

MASHA (to the hairdresser) Here's another "so"! Nastya "Nastya" what do you think?

NASTYA So, about nothing, something sad "

MASHA What nonsense! Look, this hairstyle has stuck to me?

NASTYA Arrived.

MASHA Are you very tired?

NASTYA Very.

MASHA Right” Well, what are you going to wear?

NASTYA Yes, I'll stay like that, why should I dress up? Nobody will notice me.

MASHA You could at least put a ribbon in your hair.” There are a lot of old ribbons in my closet.

NASTYA No, why?

MASHA Well, as you wish.

ZOLOTNIKOV (backstage) Is Darya Semyonovna at home?

MASHA Oh, what a shame, man! (the hairdresser runs after her).

PHENOMENON 3.

ZOLOTNIKOV Excuse me, I scared someone here. (aside) Ah, this daughter. (out loud) And the mistress is not at home, you see?

NASTYA No, sir, at home; I'll go tell her.

ZOLOTNIKOV Don't, don't worry; I just need you.

NASTYA Me?

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes; let me just take a good look at you. Turn around a little, like this "incomparably" better than you and could not wish.

NASTYA I don't know you at all.

ZOLOTNIKOV You will meet me soon. What year are you?

NASTYA Eighteen

ZOLOTNIKOV Excellent. Tell me, do you have suitors?

NASTYA No, sir.

ZOLOTNIKOV Why don't they look, fools! Are you thinking about marriage?

NASTYA Excuse me, I have no time.

ZOLOTNIKOV No, you're not angry. I am Zolotnikov, the farmer. Have you heard maybe? A wealthy man, so my speech is a little harsh. But, by the way, I take an active part in you; Would you believe it, I came from Kazan on purpose for you to propose to you.

NASTYA Are you?

ZOLOTNIKOV Don't think that I'm talking about myself. First, I am fifty years old; secondly, my physiognomy is far from attractive; thirdly, my wife is in Tambov. No, sir, I want to marry my son, and precisely, if I tell the whole truth, I would very much like to marry him to you. Of course, if you love each other. You don't love anyone, do you? Tell the truth"

NASTYA No one.

ZOLOTNIKOV Well, don't like it. I will introduce my son to you. He is a kind little one. The heart is only tender. Just give me your word that you won't mind my proposal.

NASTIA Listen, a word is not a joke: once you have given your word, you must keep it, but I don't know your son.

ZOLOTNIKOV So what? He's waiting here in the living room.

PHENOMENON 4.

ZOLOTNIKOV Oh, no way, here is the hostess! Ege-ge-ge, how it has changed! The waist was a glass, and now, thank you, Lord ”Daria Semyonovna, do you recognize me?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA (looking) I'm sorry, sir.

ZOLOTNIKOV Remember well.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Excuse me. No, I can't.

ZOLOTNIKOV Thank you, Darya Semyonovna. And let me ask you, do you still play the piano?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA And, father, where can I go?

ZOLOTNIKOV And remember, in the nineteenth year in Kazan "

DARYA SEMYONOVNA My God, Vasily Petrovich!

ZOLOTNIKOV Az is sinful. Here is the time. Became a different person. (points to the vest) There was nothing here - it appeared. (points to the head) There was a lot - there is almost nothing left. Darya Semyonovna did not recognize!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA So God brought me to see you. Do I seem as old to you, father, as you do to me? Yes, I heard you got rich terribly.

ZOLOTNIKOV From grief, Daria Semyonovna. As you refused me, remember, I went into business, into trading, to my misfortune, got rich and out of desperation and got married.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Out of constancy, right; and what are the fates here?

ZOLOTNIKOV There are things to do, but he brought his son.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Do you have many children?

ZOLOTNIKOV One son of everything.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Married?

ZOLOTNIKOV No, still single.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA I humbly ask you to sit down. Nastenka, see if the candles are lit in the living room. Sit down please; what the hell were we talking about?

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, about the son; I want to marry him.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Ah, be careful, Vasily Petrovich! In St. Petersburg, the girls are all good-looking; and as soon as they get married, it is immediately clear that education is not the same, not at all the same. I have a daughter, so I can boast.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I spoke to her just now.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA And no! You spoke to my niece, an orphan whom I keep out of mercy. I am a mother, Vasily Petrovich, ... but I will tell you that my daughter is so brought up, so prepared.

MASHA (backstage) Mom!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA What, my little darling?

MASHA They brought the dress.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Now, my friend; and such an innocent baby will shame.

ZOLOTNIKOV This is exactly what I need. Sasha is my kind little one, only he still has wind in his head; told him he had two million"

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Two million?..

ZOLOTNIKOV Two million. So believe me, his heart is so tender, as soon as he sees a skirt, it will melt; every day, then in love; what will you do! Well, for a prank it would be nothing, but in the summer, in Tambov, he decided to marry some kind of intriguer. Fortunately, the hussar turned up, otherwise I would have cried with him for a century. I see things badly: I have my son with me to St. Petersburg, and to you, Darya Semyonovna, from old memory I know that do not refuse good advice; And you, I heard, have a daughter. Who knows? Maybe our children will get to know each other, fall in love. If not us, then our children, Daria Semyonovna, right?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA What an old thing to remember!

ZOLOTNIKOV He won't come back, really. Well, let's admire the children ”Let me kiss your hand.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA With pleasure.

ZOLOTNIKOV And the hand has grown old; do you sniff tobacco?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA For the eyes, Vasily Petrovich.

MASHA Mother, come here; how insufferable you are!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Now, now, my angel. "I'll bring her to you now." Don't be too strict.

PHENOMENON 5.

ZOLOTNIKOV God, what a change! She didn’t recognize me, “here’s a lesson for you, Vasily Petrovich,” he remembered her with pleasure for thirty years, “imagined her former beauty. And that pulled me here to come!

Ah, the right is worse than a slap in the face,
How not to see each other for thirty years,
You will find an old woman in the ruins
Love is an enthusiastic subject.
Oh! Dasha! In previous years
We met with you not like that;
(With a sigh) Then you smelled the flowers,
Now - you sniff tobacco!

PHENOMENON 6.

ALEXANDER (throws himself around his father's neck) Father, hug me. I agree, have it your way, I'm not marrying her, I like her, I like her very much. I am satisfied, I am glad, I am happy, prosperous.” Father, embrace me.

ZOLOTNIKOV Wait a minute!

ALEXANDER No, hug me.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, listen!

ALEXANDER No, hug me: like this again. It's over, it's decided, I will fulfill your will: I will marry her, and precisely on her, on no one else, but on her! That's what I came up with, that's my father." Hug me again.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, listen!

ALEXANDER Eyes, waist, hair "what kind of character" Now you can see. Father, bless!

ZOLOTNIKOV Get off, please.” We were mistaken, it's not her.

ALEXANDER Why not her? She, she, she! I don't want her to be not her!

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I myself was mistaken: you think that I said there in the living room with my daughter.

ALEXANDER Well, yes.

ZOLOTNIKOV That's just the point, she's not a daughter.

ALEXANDER How not a daughter? Wasn't she born without a father and without a mother?.. Is she someone's daughter?.. Was she some kind of mother, and her father too.

ZOLOTNIKOV She is a niece.

ALEXANDER Whatever.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, they tell you that she is a niece.

ALEXANDER Yes, even if she were an uncle, I still marry her! Your will was, the will of the father is the law.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I read you another one.

ALEXANDER No, the father's will is the law!.. I don't want another.

ZOLOTNIKOV Don't make noise, they're coming this way.

ALEXANDER So let them go, tell them not to go.

ZOLOTNIKOV Just look.

ALEXANDER I don't want to look.

EVENT 7.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Here's my Mashenka, Vassily Petrovich; please love and respect. (in ear) Hold on tight! (loudly) She's shy. (in his ear) Have a good seat. (out loud) Excuse her, Vasily Petrovich: she is not a socialite girl, she is all for needlework and books.

MASHA (in her mother's ear) Stop it, mama!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA No, I say to her: “What are you, Mashenka, spoiling your eyes at your age”, at your age you have to look for pleasures, have fun, ”and she says to me:“ No, mother, I don’t want your social pleasures, which in them "Women's business is not to dance and not to flirt, but to be a good wife, a tender mother."

MASHA Mommy, I'm leaving"

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Believe me, I gave her the whole household in her hands - let her get used to it, but in her free time she studies music, draws, where do you mean that head that you finished without a teacher, you know, this Apollo Velbedersky?

MASHA (aloud) Tore it up. (in his ear) Mommy, I'm tired of you!

ZOLOTNIKOV And here, madam, and my son. (to his son) Bow down!

ALEXANDER I don't want to.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA It's a pleasure to meet you: is this the first time you've come to us in St. Petersburg?

ALEXANDER Yes!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA How long are you thinking of staying here?

ALEXANDER No.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Why is this so?

ALEXANDER Yes.

MASHA OH, mother, your questions are not very modest: they may be unpleasant.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA But where can I be able to talk to young people? It's your job to keep young people busy. Let's go, Vasily Petrovich; how many years have not seen each other, there is something to talk about ”(in ear) Let them get to know each other; it will be freer without us.

ZOLOTNIKOV Of course.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA And you, darling, take care of yourself here without me; it's time to get used to it: today is a girl, and tomorrow you yourself, perhaps, will live in a house committee. Everything is in the will of the Lord. (kisses her forehead and speaks into her ear) Don't forget! Two million! (Aloud) Let's go, Vasily Petrovich.

PHENOMENON 8.

MASHA (aside) He seems to be completely unpolished. Ah, what a pity!

ALEXANDER (aside) Well, how can it be compared with that one! That one has eyes, a waist, hair. ”However, this decent one is so-so.

MASHA Would you like to sit down?

ALEXANDER No, sir, why!

Silence

MASHA How do you like our Petersburg?

ALEXANDER (absent) What-o-s?

MASHA Do you like Petersburg?

ALEXANDER Petersburg, or what? Famous city!

MASHA When did you arrive?

ALEXANDER On the very day of magnetic illumination, of course, deigned to hear?

MASHA Yes, I heard it, but I didn’t see it.”

Silence

Have you been to the Passage yet?

ALEXANDER Why, just now, he was eating hearth pies downstairs.

MASHA Do you like it?

ALEXANDER Pies or something?

MASHA No.” Passage.

ALEXANDER pleasant festivities.

MASHA Why don't you sit down?

ALEXANDER Don't worry! (aside) Eyes, what eyes! Where were my eyes that I did not notice her eyes!

MASHA We have a glorious opera this year.

ALEXANDER They say.

MASHA Are you yourself a musician?

ALEXANDER How! I play a little.

MASHA At the piano?

ALEXANDER Mostly on the French horn.

ALEXANDER And you, sir? (softening up)

MASHA I sing a little.

ALEXANDER Really? It is so pleasant! (aside) I don't know why I didn't like it the first time. She is very, very sweet.” And what a beautiful manner. (To her) I really don't know if I dare to ask you.

MASHA How are you?

ALEXANDER I say "I don't know if I dare to ask you..

MASHA What?

ALEXANDER I don't know if I dare to ask the first time.” Encourage me, please.

MASHA (coquettishly) Why? What do you want?

ALEXANDER Do I dare to ask "for example" (aside) Yes, this is a charm, not a girl "(To her) Be happy, please, let me listen.

MASHA Yes, we are waiting for guests.

ALEXANDER Have time.

ALEXANDER Try it.

MASHA (flirtatiously) Only for you ”(going to the piano)

ALEXANDER (aside) For you, for me "She said for you" She liked me "Yes, this is not a girl" charm!

MASHA Only you accompany, please; I have a new romance here.

ALEXANDER With pleasure (sits down at the piano)

Tell me what's in the shade of the branches
When nature rests
The spring nightingale sings
And what does he express in song?
What secretly excites everyone's blood?
Say, say what's the word
Familiar to everyone and forever new?
Love!
Tell me what's in private
In thought, the girl wonders?
What a secret thrill in a dream
Does she promise fear and joy?
Call that disease strange,
In which there is eternal joy.
What can she expect? What does she need?
Love!
When from life longing
You, weary, languish
And, contrary to evil sadness,
At least you invoke the ghost of happiness "
What delights your breast?
Are not those unearthly sounds,
When you first heard -
I love?!

ALEXANDER (jumps up from his chair and runs to Masha) Oh, what a voice! What a voice! What feeling! What a soul! You drove me crazy; I'm delighted, I'll go crazy now, if you don't let me hope.

MASHA How to hope?

ALEXANDER Don't you know anything?

MASHA No.

ALEXANDER Don't you know that your old woman was once in love with my old man?

MASHA How, and mama too? That's what I wouldn't have thought. Yes, she didn't tell me about it.

ALEXANDER They never talk about it. Here, father, I thought up that I would be against you ”or you are for me. It's all the same, it's just up to you. Well, in love, in love, totally in love. Well, as you will not agree, I will be the most unfortunate mortal.

MASHA So say it.

ALEXANDER Father wishes me happiness; he only thinks about my happiness; Yes, and I wish myself happiness - who does not wish himself happiness! Only you, perhaps, do not want my happiness?

MASHA Have mercy, why?

ALEXANDER How? Do you want my happiness?.. Really?

MASHA Of course.

ALEXANDER So I can hope?

MASHA I depend on my mother.

Alexander you tell me about yourself "can you like me?

MASHA (simplely) Why not?

ALEXANDER Marya "how about the father?

MASHA Petrovna.

ALEXANDER Masha! I am the happiest person in the world, I will love you, love you, love you like no one else has loved, and will never love!

MASHA Wait a minute.

ALEXANDER Why wait, wait? This is hypocrisy; I do not want to wait; I love you, we love each other, we will be happy; we will have children; make of me what you will; order, arrange, let me just prove my love to you.

MASHA You really are a strange person. However, listen, we have a dance party tonight.

ALEXANDER Do you want to dance with me? Don't ask as much as I can.

MASHA It's all the same, only, you see, I don't have a bouquet.

ALEXANDER So what? What do you want a bouquet for?

MASHA It's in fashion: to have a bouquet in your hands. Don't you understand?

ALEXANDER No.

MASHA Well, I'll tell you: go for a bouquet, only from fresh flowers.

ALEXANDER Where am I going?

MASHA Wherever you want: that's your business. And I need to receive guests ”Goodbye (holds out his hand)

ALEXANDER (kissing his hand) What a pen!

What pens, just amazing!

I would be ready to kiss the century.

Well, go ahead, while

Bring me flowers.

ALEXANDER

What kind of weirdness
What is the use for you in a bouquet!
Why do you need other people's flowers,
You are the best flower!

PHENOMENON 9.

ZOLOTNIKOV Where are you, crazy?

ALEXANDER Father, I congratulate you on the bouquet!.. Hug me! I will fulfill your order.” Your desire is my command! Yes! I'm marrying her. I'm happy.. I'm all reborn.

ZOLOTNIKOV What happened?

ALEXANDER What happened? I'm in love at your command. The will of the father is the law! Yes! It's up to you, I'll get married whenever you want, even today.” Parent, bless me.

ZOLOTNIKOV First, explain.

ALEXANDER No, hug, hug like a parent.. That's it! It's over! I will marry her!

ZOLOTNIKOV Who is wearing it?

ALEXANDER On it!

ZOLOTNIKOV On his niece?

ALEXANDER On the daughter.

ZOLOTNIKOV On Nastenka?

ALEXANDER On Mashenka, on my Mashenka, on Marya Petrovna. For everyone she is Marya Petrovna, but for me Mashenka!

ZOLOTNIKOV But how did you tell me that you were in love with another, with the first?

ALEXANDER In the first place?.. no! It seemed to me so; however, and she is a very, very, very nice girl. Only this one you yourself, my father, appointed me, and besides, she sings, sings like that! Father, did you hear Grisi?

ZOLOTNIKOV No, I haven't.

ALEXANDER And I have not heard, so that's how he sings. Well, let's go!

ZOLOTNIKOV How are we going?

ALEXANDER Yes, we are going for bouquets, for sweets .. She wants this, she ordered; well, take your hat - let's go!

ZOLOTNIKOV Go alone.

ALEXANDER No, I'll go alone: ​​I won't find anything; let's get back now.

ZOLOTNIKOV Explain, at least.

ALEXANDER Dear, I'll explain everything. Don't forget that the fate of my life depends on it. Well, let's go.

PHENOMENON 10.

KUBYRKINA This is your writing-book, mother, of course.

KATYA Boudoir, mother

KUBYRKINA Well, it doesn't matter, General's wife Akhlebova has exactly the same one; Tell me how everyone lives in St. Petersburg!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Have you been here for a long time?

KUBYRKINA Fifteen years old; joke to say! Only, I must admit, it's expensive for you.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Yes, not cheap.

KUBYRKINA Excuse me, why don’t you take on” beef loin 34 kopecks! Have you heard of it! Believe me, she rented an apartment such that a lawyer in Tambov would not want to live in Tambov.

KATYA Cherte, mother.

KUBYRKINA It's all the same.

MASHA (to Katya) Is your dress sewn at home or in a store?

KATYA Of course, in the store.

MASHA (aside) Lied; now you can see that at home. (To her) And where did you get the cape?

KATYA In the Passage.

MASHA Very nice.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Do you play cards, Agrafena Grigoryevna?

KUBYRKINA A passionate hunter, mother, only not out of interest, but just like that, for a little one.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA And how much do you go out now? Balls have begun"

KUBYRKINA Unfortunately, my Katenka fell ill; it’s also good that nature is strong, she recovered soon, otherwise the doctor was afraid that a recitative would be made.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Relapse, mother.

KUBYRKINA And, mother, relapse, recitative - all the same. And where is your room, Marya Petrovna?

MASHA Here, on this side.

KUBYRKINA Ah, let me be curious.

MASHA Please.

KUBYRKINA Let's go, Katenka.

KATYA I'll be right back, mother; I'll just fix the curls.

PHENOMENON 11.

KATYA (alone in front of the mirror) How mannered this Mashenka is! Why is she lifting her nose? That's the importance of living in St. Petersburg. Am I worse than her? Well, what? .. just nothing, just nothing worse.

I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in Petersburg
Kati from Tambov!
Against the ladies of others
I'm no worse!
I will become no less than them,
Narrower at the waist
Thick hair in a braid,
And besides, since childhood I
Learned all the secrets
female coquetry;
I know, loving pranks,
How to lie with your heart
How probably yourself
Make love
And my eyes and gaze
Forever playing tricks:
They will give you a smile
Then they will infuriate with ridicule.
I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in Petersburg
Kati from Tambov!

PHENOMENON 12.

ALEXANDER Here is the bouquet. ”I got it forcibly .. Here's another (drops everything) My God! Who do I see? Katerina Ivanovna!

KATYA Alexander Vasilievich! Oh! (faints into a chair)

ALEXANDER She's not feeling well, she's not feeling well! I scared "This is for me" Help! Help!

KATYA Don't shout!

ALEXANDER woke up Katerina Ivanovna woke up!

Katya faints again

Fu, again a seizure; she’ll suffocate in a corset like that .. Are there any scissors to cut the lacing ”Oh, by the way .. (takes scissors hastily from the dressing table)

KATYA (jumping up) Don't come near! Do not touch! What do you need? Why are you here? Is it not enough for you that you deceived me, that after all your promises, assurances, you abandoned me, an orphan? Go, don't show your face to me!

ALEXANDER Here are those on! How am I still to blame?

KATYA He asks "is he guilty?" Yes, you are a monster, not a man! You Don Juan shameless!

ALEXANDER What is Don Juan?

KATYA It's none of your business! Answer" explain your action. I really don't know how else I'm talking to you. Well, please tell me "You live in our village" You pretend to be in love, look for my hand, and when I, as an inexperienced, defenseless girl, began to feel inclined towards you "

ALEXANDER Please don't look at me like that."

KATYA When I agreed to your proposal, I entrust my fate to you, you suddenly leave without saying a word, without saying goodbye, without even drinking tea "like a thief for sure" (crying) Oh, I'm unhappy! What did I do?

ALEXANDER No, please, no, please, look at me.

KATYA Excuse me"

ALEXANDER (aside) Fu you, the abyss "Prettier again" (to her) What, I mean, I wanted to ask? Yes, let me ask you, what did you want to make of me?

KATYA Like what? I thought that you would be my husband. Well, is it good? Well, tell me after that, who do you look like?

ALEXANDER I look like my mother, but that's not the point. What kind of husband would you like me to be?

KATYA What kind of husband? Ordinary.

ALEXANDER Yes, how ordinary?

I would really like to know
Which husbands
A week after the wedding
Would hit, sinner, am I with you?
All in half for wives with husbands,
How will the Lord bless them?
But what about the husband, tell yourself
Hussar will share with you?
KATYA What hussar?

ALEXANDER What? Don't know which hussar? And here is that hussar-repairer who was visiting you in the village!

KATYA Yes, he is my brother.

ALEXANDER What brother?

KATYA Second cousin.

ALEXANDER I know these brothers! Thank you for such a brotherhood; obedient servant!

KATYA You forget"

ALEXANDER No, on the contrary, I remember very well. Don't pretend - I know everything.

KATYA What do you know?

ALEXANDER, I know that he wrote letters to you.

KATYA Not true!

ALEXANDER is great! I read it myself, and what kind of letters are these ”“ My angel, Katya! My angel, where do they learn, hussars, to write such letters?

KATYA So you got angry about that?

ALEXANDER Little, or what? What else would you like?

Katya laughs.

Well, what are you laughing at?

KATYA, have mercy, you are so funny!

ALEXANDER Who, am I funny? No, I'm not funny, I'm offended. ”Can you explain why you received hussar letters?

KATYA Nothing is easier.

ALEXANDER Well, try it, explain it!

KATYA I don't want to.

ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, please explain.

KATYA You're not worth it.

ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna! I beg you, explain.” Don’t be cruel.

KATYA Well, then listen; Do you remember Katenka Rybnikova?

ALEXANDER what did you visit? Please, she is Avdotya.

KATYA This is the older sister, and that one is different; these letters to her, I only betrayed them. He even wanted to marry her.

ALEXANDER How, really? Ah, Katerina Ivanovna! I am a fool, a villain, a wicked, a slanderer! Torment me, beat me! Guilty without guilt! And why did these hussars climb into my head? Forgive me, Katerina Ivanovna!

KATYA No, it's too late now.

ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, are you innocent?

KATYA Well, of course! And yet, as you wish.

ALEXANDER (kneeling down) Katerina Ivanovna, be generous, don't make me die of grief.

KATYA (crying) No! I am a poor girl, I love hussars. "Everyone can insult me." I am destined to be unhappy forever - to love forever and suffer alone.

ALEXANDER (on his knees) Katerina Ivanovna, forgive me.

KATYA You won't be jealous anymore?

ALEXANDER Never, Katerina Ivanovna "only"

PHENOMENON 13.

ZOLOTNIKOV (at the door) Bah! What news is this!

Katya runs away

ALEXANDER Father, this is she, Katerina Ivanovna, Katya Tambovskaya! I am a monster of the human race of hussars, I wrote letters to Rybnikova, I wanted to marry Rybnikova, and she, my Katenka, loved and suffered me.

ZOLOTNIKOV At least speak Russian.

ALEXANDER She suffered, father, but she loved for me.

ZOLOTNIKOV You, brother, are out of your mind!

ALEXANDER Father, hug me.

ZOLOTNIKOV Get off, blockhead; crushed everything!

ALEXANDER No, I have to, I want to, I decided to make amends for my crime. I am obliged to Katya; I can't help it: I'm marrying Katya, my Katya.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, marry whomever you want; you bored me at last. I give you a quarter of an hour to change your mind, and then I will order you to be examined in the provincial government and put in a lunatic asylum. There will be no patience! Do you hear that in a quarter of an hour there was an answer!

ALEXANDER Father! Hug only.

ZOLOTNIKOV Get off me, donkey!

PHENOMENON 14.

ALEXANDER (alone, walking around the room) No! This is the position, this is the position. I'm marrying Katerina Ivanovna, that's decided; this is my sacred duty.. But I asked for the hand of Marya Petrovna; I excited her imagination.” And what a girl Marya Petrovna is! Charm, ideal, reason death. , I would love to marry her! Yes, here is Nastenka, niece, and it would not be bad to marry her. ” Here is the situation! Three will not be allowed to marry, but one is not enough! Here it is a tender heart! Here's what it brings! And then the priest with a knife stuck; it was easy for him, after all, he married his mother, but what about me? Killed, just killed! Katenka, Nastenka, Masha; Nastenka, Mashenka, Katenka "What should I do? I'm dying in the bloom of years! (falls into a chair with a large back, so that it is not visible.)

EVENT 15.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA I can't get enough of your Katenka, Agrafena Grigoryevna: she's a beauty in the fullest sense!

KUBYRKINA Much mercy, Daria Semyonovna. Why don't you look at strangers! You won’t have time to stop looking at your Masha, I have tea. Just now we were talking about her with General's wife Akhlebova. That's a girl, you can say that a girl!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA You kept everything to yourself, but did you raise yours at home?

KUBYRKINA At home, Daria Semyonovna.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Tell me, please, what tricks have you lived in the big world for centuries .. and what modesty, how you carry yourself!

KUBYRKINA I am already pleased, Darya Semyonovna, that she has become close to your Mashenka. Believe me, it's been a month since we arrived, and I already find that Katenka has won a lot. Yes, from whom to adopt, if not from your Masha? Here is an exemplary girl and what a bell-ohm!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Belle-famme, you want to say.

KUBYRKINA Yes, mother, it doesn't matter. Well, there's nothing to say, your feast for the eyes Masha.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA And don't you think it's fun to look at your Katenka?

KUBYRKINA What manners!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA What a bon-ton!

KUBYRKINA What a pleasure!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA What kindness in conversation!

KUBYRKINA It is impossible not to congratulate

DARYA SEMYONOVNA You will rejoice from the outside.

KUBYRKINA I'm surprised she's not married yet! Grooms, I think, and it is impossible to count!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Yes, there are - fourteen generals got married.

KUBYRKINA (aside) Lying, just lying!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA There were colonels and captains, the prince was alone. Only I don’t captivate Mashenka, let her choose herself. After all, she will have to live together, not me. However, as a good friend, I can tell you a secret: today I talked my Mashenka.

KUBYRKINA Really? Here came a happy day, and I talked Katenka today.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA My daughter marries a rich man; Yes, that's not the point - a good person. You may have heard about Alexander Zolotnikov?

KUBYRKINA what? Here are the rubbish! My daughter is marrying Zolotnikov; they have been engaged for a long time, and now they have decided again.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA No, excuse me... he immediately asked for Mashenka's hand in marriage.

KUBYRKINA No, not Mashenka, but Katenka.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Masha, they tell you!

KUBYRKINA No, sir, Katenka. Your Masha, of course, is a nice girl, but how can she compare with my Katenka! Although it is not very noticeable, but everything is known that she is a little lopsided.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA How? Masha my crooked side! Your eyes are crooked! I will order her to undress in front of you. Crooked-sided! That's great! Didn't you take it from the fact that your daughter is all on cotton wool?

KUBYRKINA what? Is my daughter on cotton wool? I have a fur coat on cotton wool, not a daughter, my daughter is not a fur coat. My daughter is as she was born, and she wears a dress only for decency. She has no one to deceive.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Yes, and he does not deceive; Zolotnikov, for nothing, is not a distant mind, but he is not such a vulgar fool as to marry your daughter.

KUBYRKINA Why is that?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA But because everything is known that your daughter ran after a hussar officer who laughed at her, and even abandoned her; and immediately the poor orphan was slandered, who is not to blame either in soul or body. Noble act! Hussar himself told.

KUBYRKINA You dare to say that to me.. You! Do you think everyone knows that your lopsided woman is in love with an Italian singer? It's a shame, they say, to look at her as she sits in the opera .. everyone laughs!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Do you seem to be forgetting yourself? I won't let you in.

KUBYRKINA I won't go myself; and without you we will find, thank God, an acquaintance: the general's wife Akhlebova is even better than you, but she finds pleasure with me.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA And I don't hold back, mother, I don't hold back!

KUBYRKINA Farewell, mother, I'll go after Katya. You won't have my leg!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Good riddance!

KUBYRKINA And your daughter won't marry our fiancé... she won't!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Yours will sit in the girls!

KUBYRKIN, I won't allow you to joke with me; I have an uncle - a senator, I will find protection for myself! Leave as soon as possible so it doesn't get worse!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Yes, I'll tell you, yes, I'll tell you, yes, this is unheard of rudeness! Yes, you will not get rid of me like that! Farewell, I would not see you for a century!

EVENT 16.

ALEXANDER (from behind an armchair) here she is! Here she is! That's what she is! One is crooked, the other is on cotton wool. One loves the hussars, the other the Italian, "and they say about me that I'm a fool! (running out from behind the chair) So no, not a fool! I won't let myself be fooled. I'll do it my way! I will choose the third, that is, the first, not the one or the other, but the third, that is, the first! Here she is, what a thing, here she is, here she is! (seeing Nastya) Yes, here she is! Wait, ma'am, let me tell you two words.

NASTYA For me?

ALEXANDER Are you angry with me?

NASTYA Why?

ALEXANDER Well, well, confess that you're angry?

NASTYA Not at all.

ALEXANDER How! I showed you so much attention the first time, and then I took up completely foreign subjects.

NASTYA So what!

ALEXANDER Let me first ask, do you have any relatives of the hussars?

NASTYA No.

ALEXANDER You don't sing Italian arias?

ALEXANDER What a priceless girl you are! Nastasya "how about the father?

NASTYA PAVLOVNA.

ALEXANDER Nastenka! I solemnly offer my hand to you.

NASTYA Oh, my God! Of course you are not healthy! Shouldn't you send for a doctor?

ALEXANDER You will be my doctor.

NASTYA Sorry, I have no time" (wants to leave)

ALEXANDER (holding) No, decide first the fate of my life. Do not be embarrassed only; Tell me, would you be pleased if I married you?

NASTYA I wonder how you dare to talk to me like that. I am a poor girl, but I will not allow impertinent jokes.

ALEXANDER Yes, pardon me, I'm not joking; I have the positive intention of marrying you.

NASTYA Who told you that I should share this intention! What makes you think that I should marry the first person I meet? I know that rich suitors in St. Petersburg are not afraid of rejection, but for me there is much more in life besides money. There, in the living room, they were just saying that you had two million, and, I confess, on this occasion I had heard so much that I felt disgusted. However, it’s not difficult for you to get married, just say the word, ”and the brides will come running from all sides, and I don’t need a wallet, but a person whom I could love and respect. Farewell!

ALEXANDER Nastasya Pavlovna! Listen to me.

NASTYA Why? You were mistaken in me: I am not like the others.” Where can you understand the pride of a poor girl who, in the absence of other treasures, keeps spiritual wealth? She will not exchange her soul for a luxury she does not need; she can take pity and make her happy, because she values ​​herself highly, but she will never sell herself.

ALEXANDER So you refuse me, Nastasya Pavlovna?

NASTYA Resolutely.

ALEXANDER Do you give up hope?

NASTYA Not the slightest.

ALEXANDER Listen, Nastasya Pavlovna, I'm stupid, ridiculous, impudent, ignorant - whatever you want; only, really, I'm not a bad person. I have a tender heart; well, am I to blame; Well, believe me, I keep thinking about how to become attached, to fall in love pretty, and then that's it! Soul something, soul something and whispers: "Get attached, idiot, get attached" - well, and here, as if on purpose, fate is teasing. Now a hussar turns up, then some Italian, and I'm in the cold with money! Well, what do I need in this money, tell me yourself .. Everyone wants my money, but nobody wants me, me myself.

NASTYA (aside) He really is pathetic. (out loud) Look, take your time - you will find, maybe.

ALEXANDER Yes, I want you, Nastasya Pavlovna; you open my eyes. I feel like a new person; take pity on my wealthy position.

NASTYA I told you my decisive answer. Rest assured that I spoke to you out of conviction, and not out of empty coquetry. Do not be angry at me; this lesson may be useful to you; when you forget too much with some women, you will involuntarily remember that there are those who not only deserve, but even demand respect. (coldly sits down and leaves.)

EVENT 17.

ALEXANDER Fu you, the abyss! It doesn't get any easier from time to time. Just now there were three brides, and now none!

ZOLOTNIKOV (at the door) Well, have you made up your mind?

ALEXANDER Wait, wait!

ZOLOTNIKOV With whom to congratulate?

ALEXANDER Yes, with no one: refused!

ZOLOTNIKOV Who, Katenka?

ALEXANDER No.

ZOLOTNIKOV Masha?

ALEXANDER No!

ZOLOTNIKOV So who is it?

MASHA (enters) Alexander Vasilyevich, what does this mean? Is it true that you proposed to Katenka? Do you want to insult me? Only it won't work out like that.” I have a brother in the Caucasus.. You won't get rid of him. Do you hear?

ALEXANDER I really don't understand what you want.

ZOLOTNIKOV, here she is!

KUBYRKINA (enters) She's already here, but what am I? I'll take you out, I won't leave you alone. Marya Petrovna, I left a handkerchief in your room. Let me get.

MASHA (aside) How obnoxious! It came just in time! (out loud) I'll bring it, sir.

KUBYRKINA Sorry for the trouble! (leaves)

KATYA (enters) Alexander Vasilyevich, what have I learned? You again wanted to deceive me: you are wooing Masha. This is too much.” This will not go in vain for you - my second cousin will stand up for me, will fight with you with pistols, will kill, will certainly kill!

ZOLOTNIKOV This one is good too.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA (enters) So it is, she has already picked up a good fellow: what am I for? Katerina Ivanovna, your mother is calling you.

KATYA (aside) She came at the right time, so that she is ”(out loud) Where is she?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA I think she's gone here, I'll show you (to the side) And I won't leave you alone.

ALEXANDER Do you hear, father, what a story.

ZOLOTNIKOV Shut up!

NASTYA (walking across the stage) Oh, I thought you had left.

ALEXANDER No, I'm going... I'm going.” Nastasya Pavlovna, I'm in despair.

Kubyrkina, Katya, Masha, Darya Semyonovna run out of different doors and rush at Alexander, quickly and almost simultaneously.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA No, it can't stay like that!

KUBYRKINA This must be explained!

MASHA Yes, sir, if you please tell the truth!

KATYA I've suffered enough from you!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Did you marry my Mashenka?

KUBYRKINA Did you marry my Katenka?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA I won't let you insult my daughter.

KUBYRKINA And I will complain; My uncle is a senator.

KATYA Why are you goggling your eyes?

MASHA Why are you standing in your tracks? Speak up, explain!

ZOLOTNIKOV (running out) Sasha, Sasha! Are you here? Sasha, we are gone! Dead! Trouble has happened! I'm bad!

ALEXANDER (with fright) Father! What happened to you?

ZOLOTNIKOV Burst! Bursted!

ALEXANDER Who burst?

ZOLOTNIKOV Tambov.

ALL Tambov!

ALEXANDER What, an earthquake?

ZOLOTNIKOV That is, not Tambov, but the Tambov ransom, all the pledges were gone - after all, for two million there was "all my fortune! Here is the letter I received. there was only one village left, and that one from the hammer "Sasha! We don't have anything else.

ALEXANDER Well, thank God! And I was so frightened: I thought that cholera had become with you! Well, why scream like that? You won’t have money, but what am I for, what am I for?

NASTIA (listening) Yes, he is a noble man!

MASHA Oh, poor Katerina Ivanovna!

KATYA Oh, poor Marya Petrovna!

KUBYRKINA I feel sorry for you, Vasily Petrovich, here! You can say "an unpleasant counteredance.

KATYA Kontrdans, mother.

KUBYRKINA It's all the same; you have to humble yourself before Providence.” Your son is young; now he will settle down, as he marries Marya Petrovna.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA No, your son was wooing Katerina Ivanovna; I don’t beat off suitors from her - let her live happily.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, let me ask you: who is marrying Sasha?

MASHA Of course, not me!

KATYA And not me!

ZOLOTNIKOV (to Nastya) Isn't it you?

ALEXANDER No, father, she refused me and the rich one! Let's get out of here, it's time to take up the mind, the money made my head spin, such nonsense clogged in my head. Now you have to be human. What do you think, I'm a blockhead, a chair, some kind of cattle, I don't feel what I owe you? You did your best for me, thank God, now it's my turn. I will provide for you, feed you, go to anything, to a store, to day laborers, to shoemakers, to artisans, to farm laborers, to journalists, to writers! (to the audience) Gentlemen, does anyone have a seat? Without patronage, you yourself know, it's difficult. Do not refuse, I will justify: honest, kind, devoted, you will be satisfied! Well, let's go, father, let's be ourselves, and not an addition to our money. This lesson is worth all your wealth.

ZOLOTNIKOV Well, let's go.

NASTYA Wait a minute, Alexander Vasilyevich, I'm to blame for you.

ALEXANDER Are you?

NASTIA I offended you just now, because I did not know the nobility of your feelings.

ALEXANDER Don't talk, don't talk, otherwise your heart will go upside down again; I don't dare to marry now.

NASTYA And only now I can agree to your proposal; I have a lot of pride and I feel that I can replace everything that you have lost. Here is my hand.

ALEXANDER What do I hear? Nastenka Nastasya pavlovna!

ZOLOTNIKOV My daughter! Hug me.” Well, you hug me, just for the last time.

KATYA How touching!

KUBYRKINA That's nonsense!

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Tell me, Vasily Petrovich, how could this misfortune happen to you?

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, if you please, mother, it did not happen, but could only happen.

KUBYRKINA What does this mean?

ZOLOTNIKOV And this means that last year I refused all farming, and two millionaires will go, so be it, to Nastenka for pins. Cunning, mother, sinful man! Here Sasha wanted to rescue his.

NASTYA So you deceived me?

DARYA SEMYONOVNA This is out of hand!

MASHA What is Nastya like? After all, she did, she must have guessed.

KATYA knew everything in advance; However, I'm very happy!

KUBYRKINA It doesn't look like anything; we will not let ourselves be fooled; I have an uncle a senator!

SERVANT The guests have arrived.

DARYA SEMYONOVNA Let's go, Mashenka. There is nothing for us to do here. And you, mother, congratulations, craftswoman! Repaid for my troubles! Got everyone through!

NASTYA I fooled everyone” They really think” This is unbearable! No, I would rather refuse the word.

ZOLOTNIKOV And who said that the word is holy? No, if you are afraid of any sense, it will be impossible to live like that. No, let them say whatever they want, but we will have a merry feast for the wedding.

ALEXANDER Hurry up, father!

ZOLOTNIKOV The same! And you look at your wife, but knock trifles out of your head, and you will have joy and consolation, and not trouble from a tender heart.

ALEXANDER:

Having finished his adventures,
Now at this decisive hour,
I must ask for indulgence
For the writer and us.
We are afraid that we are tired
You console us, gentlemen,
So that the hearts of gentle trouble
The trouble did not come out really!

Here, pray tell, what should a young man do, handsome, kind, and even dreaming of getting married ?! Most likely you will answer: “Find a bride and offer her a hand and a heart” ... And you will be absolutely right. But what should a young man do, whose heart literally melts with love at the sight of every young girl?! This is where the difficulties begin: Marya Petrovna, Katerina Ivanovna, Nastasya Pavlovna ... the unlucky hero called everyone to marry!

The son of a wealthy farmer, Alexander, who has arrived in St. Petersburg, is looking for a bride. Brides around him, as they say, in bulk - but how to choose the one and only. And Alexander has such a tender heart, he likes all the girls at once. And then there is the mother of one of the brides, Daria Semyonovna Boyarkina, and courting the rich groom and his father.

And all the girls like him too. Only how to find out - they are ready to marry him, Alexander, or prefer his millionth inheritance. Then the father goes to the trick ... This is where the one and only is.

This is the story that the audience saw on the stage of the Nogin Palace of Culture on April 15, when they came to the premiere of the performance of the People's Music and Drama Theater "Search", directed by Tatyana Sannikova.

Brilliant vaudeville by Vladimir Sollogub "Trouble from a Gentle Heart", which has been going on the Russian theater stage for more than 150 years, once again delighted the audience with sparkling humor, famously twisted plot, sharp characters, dances and songs.

Count Vladimir Alexandrovich Sollogub (1814-1882) is a well-known Russian writer, author of "secular" stories, essays, memoirs about Pushkin, Lermontov, Gogol and - vaudeville. This genre in the first half of the 19th century was the most beloved in Russia. Count Sollogub rightfully occupied one of the first places in the list of authors, and "Trouble from a Tender Heart" is his most famous vaudeville, first staged on stage in 1850. A master of anecdotal plot, brilliantly knowing the laws of the genre, he entertainingly develops the intrigue, and now caustically, now with a slight grin, ridicules human vices and weaknesses. But in the end, virtue and justice always win.

The theater "Poisk" showed the audience a performance full of grace, charm and slyness. Cheerful and witty, with songs, dances and gypsies (Al. Glazunova, D. Gorohova, V. Pilipenko, V. Minenko) - he gave the audience a lot of pleasant minutes that they spent together with the actors A. Sannikov (Alexander), A. Tolkachev (Zolotnikov), I. Turkina (Daria Semyonovna), A. Glazunova (Masha), A. Tolkacheva (Nastenka), N. Piskaryova (Kubyrkina), D. Kalinina (Katya), V. Kornyakov (Kuafer).

Photo by E. Mareshina

I like small theaters on the outskirts of a big city. Like puppies soaked in a downpour, they cling to skyscrapers or huddle in basements. Warm up, waiting for happy and sunny days. But the curtain rises, like a rainbow rises into the sky, and the small theater enjoys life just as much as the big, “legitimate” theaters. And most importantly, it also pleases the viewer.

Moscow has a huge number of theaters - about one hundred and fifty. Most of them are located closer to the center, and they are well known, they are talked about and written about, television is filming stories. Less is said about small theatres. Therefore, I would like sometimes, along with talking about my favorite large academic theaters, the Maly or the Moscow City Council, to write about such original and very worthy ones as the Kamburova Theater, Theater.doc or Theater in the South-West. Or about completely unknown ones, like the Revelation Theater, which I want to talk about today.

A small theater on the outskirts, perhaps, has more right to be called a theater. And that's why. We all remember the expression “The theater begins with a hanger”, which has already become meaningless from frequent repetition. But I would redo it - the theater begins, at least from the road. That is, even on the way, we tune our hearts in a special way. And the further you go, the longer the wait and the sweeter the anticipation.

The Revelation Theater is located in Konkovo, a few kilometers from my house. And I decided to take a walk, imagining that I was going from the village of Cheryomushki to the neighboring village of Konkovo ​​to see the artists. In some way, having already theatricalized the very way to the theater. Moreover, the performance that was on stage that day (by the way, the cultural center where the troupe settled is also called “Stage”) is a vaudeville from the life of the nineteenth century: Vladimir Sollogub’s play “The Trouble from a Gentle Heart”.

The play is staged in a classical manner - easily, as befits a vaudeville, with verses and dances. Actors play exaggerated, but not pretentious. Fun and joyful. So, despite the “14+” mark, I would recommend the production to children as well. In general, I think that a good performance, like music, should not have age restrictions. Because a good performance, even if it is an "adult" and not understandable to a young viewer, sunk into the soul of a child, can hide in it and rise years later.

The plot of the play "Trouble from a Gentle Heart" is not as well known as, for example, the plots of other similar vaudevilles - "Straw Hat" or "Lev Gurych Sinichkin". So let me briefly recap.

It is in large theaters that they can afford ripped jeans at balls or twisting plots: they still have their own regular audience

In the house of the St. Petersburg landowner Boyarkina (played by actress Elena Sortova) from Tombov, together with her son Alexander, her old acquaintance Vasily Zolotnikov, a wealthy farmer (actor Alexei Timoshin), comes. Once they were in love with each other, but broke up and since then have not seen each other for "thirty years and three years." And so Vasily Petrovich brought his son to the capital to marry him to the daughter of his friend. But “the son’s heart is so tender, as soon as he sees a skirt, he will melt; that day, then in love. Alexander justifies this characterization given by his father. He falls in love with every new girl who appears in the course of the play: with Boyarkina's daughter, with her friend who came to visit her and with her cousin, a poor orphan girl who is "kept out of mercy." Actor Pavel Narkunas plays the perfect Khlestakov, but under the guardianship of his father.

In the end, everything gets confused, because Alexander makes an offer to everyone. The poor orphan Nastenka refuses him because of his millions, and two rich brides are seduced by these millions. Comedy begins. Then Zolotnikov Sr. goes to the trick - he announces that he is bankrupt.

Two male roles, in my opinion, turned out to be very bright. Both actors (both Timoshin and Narkunas) are cute fooling around on stage, as it should be in vaudeville, but each in his own way. And the female roles, it seemed to me, repeated each other in places. But perhaps it's the time when each lady copied the other. (“Yes, from whom to adopt, if not from your Masha? Here is an exemplary girl”).

The role of Nastenka, an orphan, turned out to be gray, but not through the fault of the actress (Anastasia Frolova) and not through the fault of the director (Daria Ananyeva) - you just can’t play or stage these “correct” young ladies of the nineteenth century in any other way. I suddenly thought that it would be interesting to imagine her as a serious character from another world, who happened to be in a foolish vaudeville. But that would have been a different production, perhaps with different sets and costumes. And this one is so good that it gives us the opportunity to plunge into the world of vaudeville of the century before last. And it does not emphasize parallels with modern realities to the detriment of the atmosphere of that era.

This is what large theaters can afford to wear ripped jeans at balls or twist plots: they still have their own regular audience. And small theaters are more careful about the plot and the word, the truth of life and the truth of fiction.