Why is the house always dirty? Mess in the soul - mess in the house

Someone's house is clean and tidy: everything is in its place and every little thing has its place. But there are houses where they only dream of it, and all attempts to polish it end the same way: there is chaos among things, and nothing reminds of the recent cleaning. So what's the reason?

What does science say about order in your home?

Of course, those who are very interested in our glorious past say with confidence that the maintenance of cleanliness in the house was laid down in the subcortex of women in the subcortex of the brain by distant ancestors. Based on these arguments, it turns out that from time immemorial, women have only been engaged in storing in the corners everything that their valiant miners dragged into the house. Whence then the unwillingness of some women to observe purity? It turns out that the ancestors of these lovely women were also not very thrifty. Otherwise, there is simply no logic in this approach.

However, there is another approach that is more suitable for those who are more busy with a career and work than. Women who are forced to stay at home for some reason begin to realize themselves there. For them, a neatly hung towel or cleanly ironed linen on a hanger in the closet is the ultimate dream. They always smell of delicious dishes, the carpets are cleaned, the parquet is shiny, and the cat has a small bow on its head.

At the same time, lovely women who are immersed in work devote a minimum of time and effort to the house. Why do something you don't get paid for? Perhaps the mess in your house is explained precisely by this. Although after all in any chaos always there is its order. Perhaps this helps to find exactly what you need in a heap of unknown things.

Mess in the closet and porridge in the head

Tired of clutter at home? And you want to get rid of it? Then you have to start with yourself. Oddly enough, but what is around you directly reflects the world that is inside you. Therefore, the desire to end the mess in your life is best done consistently.

Of course, in a pile of papers on the table there is a sacred meaning. But is everything that lies there really necessary? The same applies to . Why are there those from which you "grew" a long time ago? But there are more than half of them, and they occupy a place that could be given to something else. Which, by the way, for some reason has not found its place in your house, and therefore is lying in heaps.

So, the first step towards order in the house is the elimination of everything superfluous and unnecessary. And do not think that cleaning is a simple matter, and you can easily cope with it in a day. Only you will disassemble the closet for more than one hour. What if he's not alone in the house? That is why, first of all, deal with the contents of chests of drawers, cabinets and mezzanines. Get ready to be ruthless and callous here. Because the blouse that you put on on the first date can cause a storm of emotions. And putting it in a box labeled "throw away" will be very difficult.

Speaking of boxes. For those unfamiliar with the movie Sex and the City, it should be told, and others should be reminded, that the best way to sort out your closets is to take three boxes and label them as follows: store, throw away, and leave. In the first place, you put something that for some reason does not suit you now, but will definitely be needed in the near future. The second group needs no explanation, however, like the last one. After such sorting, only those things that fell into the “leave” and “storage” boxes should get back into the closet. Just lay them out in such a way that they do not mix. The second point of cleaning will be things that lie outside the cabinets. It is they who should be sorted in a certain order into the vacant seats. After the space in your apartment has become larger, it's time to deal with dust and dirt.

After such cleaning, as well as after a successful diet, the most important thing is again, that is, again, do not overgrow with heaps of dirt, dust and all kinds of things. And for this, try to put everything in its place. But if habit is above all, then equip your home with special decorative baskets where you will put all your things. Then such baskets are much easier to disassemble.

And most importantly - accustom yourself to order. Although this is the most difficult of all that is described above.

Few people remain indifferent at the sight of a clean, tastefully decorated home. Such a house evokes thoughts of comfort and harmony. However, among us there are many who find it difficult or even impossible to maintain order in the house. Living with such a reality every day, the owners experience a spectrum of all sorts of feelings - from shame to complete apathy. But there are those who, without losing hope, are trying to figure out the mysteries of their own or someone else's behavior.

So, a few years ago, I was seriously puzzled by this question. In total, I counted 12 reasons why a mess can firmly sit in your home, and most of them are really related to psychological problems. So let's get started!

1. Just you not taught to keep the house in order. This is not psychology, but quite a household skill that parents had to instill in science to their children. Most likely, in most of our families, cleaning was carried out according to the “hands-on” method, that is, “Guests are coming!”, “I will finally throw this rubbish away!” or "Aren't you ashamed to be overgrown with mud?!" This is a destructive presentation of putting things in order, and only a few know about the existence of a technique of order and cleanliness. And even fewer are able to methodically pass this technique on to their descendants.

2. emotional immaturity. This is closer to psychological problems. Many people know what is needed for full physical development. These are nutrition, sports, sun and other physical factors. What does it take for a child to develop emotionally? The question is harder! In the meantime, from early childhood, the child must be taught to think that he is a full-fledged member of society, who is able to take care of himself and others. In practice, however, often everyday duties, such as washing dishes, for example, are used for the purpose of punishment, which forms a negative attitude towards work. Or, on the contrary, the child is protected from any household duties in favor of studying or, even worse, entertainment: "He will still have time to work out." This is a sure way to raise an overgrown child who, at any opportunity, will shirk from work.

3. Attention to your person- the first full-fledged sign of psychological inferiority! Or another childish way of manipulation. “I can’t put on socks!”, “I can’t warm up dinner!”, “I can’t find mittens!” - “Oh, you are mine, good - let me put it on, warm it up, find it!”. And in adulthood, this goes on a large scale: money is lost, bills are not paid, the soup on the stove turns sour. In general, in any way you need to show that I am helpless, and therefore I need a “nanny” who will clean, find, serve for me.

4. Protest- this is another "hello" from childhood. Destructive ways of accustoming to order, in which rigidity, inconsistency or aggression prevailed, can result in teenage rebellion. Often this rebellion migrates into adulthood under the slogan: "I'm already an adult, I live as I want." And “I want” in defiance of the parent, that is, in disarray. Thus, a person of such a warehouse with his chaos continues to prove that he has the right to disobey his parents. Of course, there is also emotional immaturity involved here.

5. family stereotype can also interfere with a person to deal with his home. If people lived in disorder from generation to generation, while maintaining a favorable emotional climate, a person needs the same mess to feel at home.

6. Lack of ownership(toys, clothes, books) in childhood contributes to hoarding in adulthood. A person experiences a subconscious fear of returning to a state of lack of everything again, therefore he does not part with the accumulated, although unnecessary.

7. Attachment to the past also prevents a person from parting with blockages in the house. Every thing in their life is like a good friend that hurts to part with. Afraid of losing touch with the past, such people often experience fear of the future.

8.Dislike for housing blocks all attempts to start a clean life. Often the condition of a rented apartment or the life of a spouse’s parents is very depressing. No wonder, few people want to invest in someone else's property or adapt to the old man's customs.

9. If you did not learn to respect themselves- this is another way not only to trash, but also to slovenliness in appearance. The main argument of a person who does not respect himself: “Yes, it will do for me!” If you use this phrase at least occasionally, you should probably learn a little more about self-esteem, then order will come to the house faster.

10. emotional experiences do not allow a person to live in cleanliness and comfort. “I throw things around like I'm under hypnosis,” admits 30-year-old Anya. "I don't understand how this works!" In a state of emotional crisis, a person experiences a shift in priorities. Negative thoughts and feelings should have their place - like any object in the house - used, and then removed from sight. If you forgot to remove it or didn’t want to, then both negative experiences and clutter in the house begin to fill our lives. Thus, when we stop “tidying up our heads,” we stop tidying up the house.

11. Depression- This is a disease characterized by a decrease in mental and physical activity. With depression, a person loses motivation, which leads to clutter at home, and clutter at home, in turn, plunges into depression even more.

12. mental problems a frequent companion of a neglected home. For example, the so-called "Plyushkin's syndrome" is considered incurable. A person drags, mainly, all rubbish from the garbage heap, up to the complete filling of his housing. This is the most extreme and perhaps hopeless case.

The best part is that most of the causes of chronic home clutter are manageable! Each case requires an individual approach and decent motivation, but it is possible to accustom yourself to order.

Chaos reigns at home, there is a constant mess in things and affairs. Interestingly, is this an innate property of character or an acquired defensive reaction? There is a category of people who have everything at home in a terrible mess. This gives them a lot of inconvenience, but all the attempts made to put everything in its place are in vain. Let's try to make out - what are they hiding behind these rubble?

The main reasons for this phenomenon can be:

• proof of its own existence. In this situation, a person in every possible way adds evidence of his own existence ("marks" his territory). One of the reasons for this phenomenon is the need to release feelings of helplessness or loneliness. But there is a possibility that with such a person you can agree to leave a place for someone else next to you.
• Lack of attention. In this case, a person uses the mess he has created to attract additional attention from others. He asks for help in finding "lost" things, while he evokes sympathy and pity of those around him so much that they stop all their business and begin to help him. So people who are not very confident in themselves receive additional support, which they lack in life.
• Lack of desire to grow up. The habit of constant disorder is "born in childhood." Scattered everywhere books, magazines, deposits of things, a pile of unwashed dishes - this is a sign that characterizes the children of too pedantic parents. From their excessive desire for order, there is only one salvation - their own disorder. Grown-up sluts refuse to follow the generally accepted concepts of cleanliness and order, considering them to be just unnecessary conventions that vividly remind them of the time when practically the only phrase parents used to communicate with their children was: "Clean the room!". Mess, as a means of avoiding adult responsibility for your life, leaves a ghostly hope that someone will solve your problems for you. For example, clean up the kitchen, on the desktop, pay the bills, allow you to continue to demonstrate your own helplessness.
• Constant anxiety. Sometimes the death of a loved one or even a beloved animal, a divorce or breakup of a relationship can lead a person to a complete reluctance to clean up the house - this sometimes accompanies depression. The mess at home literally sucks a person, drowns him in anxiety attacks and his own past. There is only one way out - to urgently start freeing up space, throwing out the unnecessary and putting the valuable in order in order to free up space at home and your own inner space for everything new, more joyful and giving love.

If any of the above is about you and you want to fix it:

• Refuse forever to help others in finding the things you need, by doing this you will deprive yourself of emotional "positive" reinforcement, additional attention from others to your person and, possibly, lose the main reason leading to disorder.
• Come up with a "delicious" stimulus, for example - you want to calmly approach the desktop or the kitchen sink (not through the rubble), you want to finally receive guests.
• Trying to remove everything at once will remain attempts, start with something that will not plunge you into a panic. First, take out the trash, wash the dishes, sort out some of the things that you are wearing right now, arrange books and magazines.
• You have already tried all of the above, but there is no more order in the apartment - it means that your internal disorder has very deep roots and you will have to sort out your memories, related fears, emotions. Those. shake up the past. On your own or with the help of a specialist.

If you live next to such a person, then in no case take the position of a parent in relation to your partner, fueling his guilt. Look at the situation with humor, come to an agreement: "I'll cook something delicious, and you clean up the table". In this way, you will soon find mutual understanding and keep peace and love in the family.

Almost every apartment has "bear corners", where unnecessary things are removed from sight, and where various rubbish is stored for years. And it happens that one of the rooms “by itself” clutters up from the whole house. Is it by chance? Psychologists say no. Each room in our house has a symbolic meaning, and the mess in it speaks of a disorder in the head or heart of the owner. Moreover, by influencing our subconscious, rubbish-filled rooms lure bad luck and stagnation in various areas of our lives.

Kitchen
It is no coincidence that the kitchen is called the "heart of the house". It is here that the hostesses conjure over hearty lunches and romantic dinners, here we get one of the main pleasures in life - from a meal, here we are fed with energy and strength. At the dinner table, meetings of family members and heart-to-heart conversations of friends take place - in a word, this place is sacred in every sense.

Therefore, a dirty kitchen is not only a sin against hygiene and cleanliness. Spiritual food is also "not digested" here. An untidy kitchen says that you are neglecting sources of energy and abundance, as well as other vital principles.

If you are overwhelmed by the feeling of “disgust for life” and “impurity” of the events taking place around you, clean up all the dark corners in the kitchen, throw away all unnecessary bottles, “shake up” all the cabinets. The feeling of protection and comfort will immediately return to your life.

Toilet
The restroom is a symbol of everything that is hidden and not intended for prying eyes. By filling our toilet with rubbish, we thereby “tamp down” into the dark corners of the psyche what we are ashamed of, what we want to forget about. As Grandfather Freud would say, "we suppress our unconscious." And at the same time - his intuition and insight. However, a tightly closed closet door is not the most effective way to hide your "obscene" thoughts. It is better to remove all the dirt and talk to a psychologist.

Bathroom
Every person's day begins with a visit to the bathroom. Here we are preparing to communicate with the world, we are making a “new face” for ourselves ... among scattered dirty socks and cosmetics, a chaotic pile of dirty linen and unidentified objects sticking out from under the bathroom. Such a disorder may indicate low self-esteem, inattention and dislike for oneself, an inferiority complex. Free the bath from junk and pamper your beloved body. Fragrant soap, beautiful accessories and burning candles - that's what should surround you in the "bath".

Living room
This room is responsible for our connection with the outside world. Here we first of all invite visitors. Here, sitting in our favorite armchair, we learn about the events in the world - we watch TV, read newspapers, argue with friends about politics and the fate of the universe. The living room is the most public part of our apartment, its "facade".

But clutter can turn this communication space into a lair. Do you complain that no one visits you? It's just that people experience inconvenience from an overabundance of things with a "centuries-old" layer of dusty (literally and figuratively) energy. And you among her remind Gogol Plyushkin. The news that you receive in a dark and unventilated living room simply cannot be joyful. Perhaps you are hiding from the world, hiding behind a pile of useless things?

It is not necessary, however, in striving for "liberation", to rush to extremes and throw out all the trinkets dear to the heart. Although sometimes they get bored, so it's better to send them to "rest" somewhere out of sight for a while. But the living room should not be empty and featureless - only spacious and clean. As they say, get rid of the extra stuff in the living room and people will be drawn to you. And not only to your home, but to your life as a whole.

Bedroom
The bedroom of the spouses is a place for calm, sleep and intimacy. It is entrusted with the mission of renewing the people themselves, harmonizing their relations - family happiness is cherished here.

Clutter in the bedroom brings weakness, not energy. Waking up in a room littered with things, where there is dust and cat hair on the bedside table, and you can’t see the reflection in the mirror ... in general, it’s better not to wake up. If you often feel like a "sleepy fly", get tired quickly, quarrel with your loved one, think poorly and balance on the verge of depression - put things in order in this very "intimate" room of yours.

Wash and open the windows, wash the curtains, or better yet, change them to light curtains or bamboo blinds.

Rummage the wardrobe - send everything unnecessary to the trash. Get rid of the dust. Update, finally, which you have been saving for some “case” for several years now. And then the next morning you will wake up not only from the cheerful rays of the sun, but also from the smell of coffee just carefully brewed by your soulmate. Vivacity, liveliness of mind and joy of life will return to you.

Clutter limits the brain's ability to process information and causes constant distractions. A study conducted at Princeton University found that clutter limits the brain's ability to process visual information. Still, even finding something among the rubbish is a real test. But there are ways.

2. Makes us nervous

Clutter causes stress. A UCLA study of families in Los Angeles found that cortisol levels rose when mothers watched the pile of unwashed clothes and toys scattered around the house by children, and, conversely, decreased when they went to work or shopping.

3. Makes you procrastinate

Clutter, in fact, provokes procrastination. You think: “Yeah, I need to fix the chair,” and then you try to find the right tool, get angry and put off the repair, which would have taken 3 minutes, on the back burner. If the mess is also in the workplace, then do not expect record productivity from yourself.

4. Eats money

Clutter eats up time, and therefore money. Think for yourself how much time you spend at work looking for the right file or document - and this is only part of the unproductive waste of time. According to the National Association of Professional Organizers, Americans collectively spend 9 million hours a day on such unproductive processes.

5. Deteriorating health

Accumulations of things provoke the appearance of dust mites, which cause allergies and asthma attacks. So, in addition to the above, the disorder also harms your health and the health of your loved ones.

6. Turns us into fat people

Clutter causes stress, which in turn encourages weight gain and bad habits. Peter Walsh, author of Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat, notes that the constant desire to eat more is also a kind of mess, and it's hard to argue with it. Promiscuity in nutrition and harmful snacks are the consequences of chaos in the head.

7. Does not allow you to live "here and now"

Feng Shui philosophy says that clutter is a negative energy that provokes negative emotions. Order, on the contrary, brings harmony and a positive stream into life. Marie Kondo, author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, says that the true purpose of cleaning is to return to your natural, calm state.

Cleaning is a way to surround yourself with items that you really needed. Marie advises to give up all unnecessary things: in her opinion, this will help to start a new life. Here's another reason.