If he lost it, then only. When you lose everything

Why am I losing everything? Where do things, tools, documents disappear? I can not find. What to do with absent-mindedness?

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Why am I losing everything? Where do things, tools, documents go? What to do with absent-mindedness?

Question:

I can’t find my things, I’m losing everything. I could lose my phone, documents, money. I can’t find tools and things at home. What to do?

Answer:

We'll lose everything

As I already said, attention disorders are a natural consequence of the recently increased flow of information. Our brain has not yet adapted to these changes, and technology has not learned to intelligently filter and process this information for us. Attention disorders manifest themselves to different degrees in different people. Some are more receptive, some less.

Some people go into what I call a stress spiral. So, a person has lost something and cannot find it. Some people spit and relax. But some people start thinking about it, concentrating on it. When again you need to find or save something, not to lose it, then instead of concentrating on your task, such a person begins to think about how he is losing everything and cannot find anything. Accordingly, stress arises, which contributes to even greater forgetfulness.

In such a situation, the path of small improvements helps very well. If you manage to improve the situation a little, then your mood will improve. Well, improving your mood will lead to improved concentration. The spiral will begin to unwind in the other direction. You may even end up becoming a master of concentration.

How to stop losing things? Simple steps

How to quickly improve the situation with absent-mindedness? Five simple steps.

Change your diet. Take calming nutritional supplements. Avoid overeating and stimulants that cause rapid jumps in nervous activity, such as coffee. If you can’t bear to live without a stimulant, drink tea from the Far Eastern lemongrass. It stimulates much more gently than coffee, but for a longer time. Be careful, it can cause an increase in blood pressure, although not as strong as coffee, and insomnia. It can be combined with anti-anxiety nutritional supplements. It turns out very well. A cup of lemongrass in the morning, something calming in the evening. Avoid alcohol and psychotropic drugs.

Limit the flow of information. Watch less TV, read less, use the Internet and phone less. Walk more, relax. Moderate physical activity will help.

Eliminate the possibility of losing key items outside the home. To avoid losing things in my thoughts, I tie them down. Nowadays they sell these spools with springs, from which a thin, strong thread is pulled out when pulled. And if you let go, it retracts back. They are usually used for attaching badges. I have a wallet, a wallet with a passport and a mobile phone attached to my pockets using these reels. I tightly attached the reel itself to a good safety pin, and cut the rope from a toy plastic head and tightly tied it to my wallet/wallet/mobile case. I put an object in my pocket and immediately attach a reel from it to the same pocket. Now I don't worry about losing these important things, I don't waste my attention on them and I don't get stressed. One day a pickpocket took my wallet with my passport. But he didn't take him far. And he took away the black eye.

Have standard places for items. Every time after you use one or another item, put it in its designated place.

Remove all foreign objects from view. Provide yourself with a workspace. Whatever you do, first prepare your work area. Remove from your field of vision all objects that you do not need now and that may distract you.

These simple tips will help you quickly improve your absent-mindedness situation. And then remember about the spiral that unwinds in the opposite direction. Do not worry.

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Ups and downs await everyone. They will attack you as soon as you are born, and if you open a door with a sign saying “Adulthood,” you will fall constantly. It will be bad both in business and in your personal life - we are not deceiving you. Of course, there will be plenty of good moments too. But let's talk about negative experiences. The best thing you can do with it is learn from it.

1. We need to be better

Improvement is a necessity that enhances your competitiveness, which will help both in work and in love. When you fail, you realize that you were not as good as you initially thought. There is no point in lying to yourself anymore. All your negative traits, all your shortcomings, all the mistakes you have made immediately become noticeable. The fall itself implies that you understand why it happened, or at least you can guess. If this understanding does not come to your mind, then you can be sure that you will make the same mistake again.

2. Was it worth it?

When we start something new, we always think about the long term. an ideal picture that has little relation to reality. Of course, when you are faced with a serious problem, the picture breaks into thousands of pieces. This is an excellent reason to understand your desires. You chose a certain path, worked hard, lost a lot of blood while walking along it, but then you were thrown back by a blast wave. Someone will tell you: “So what? Get up and move on, follow your line!” And that’s right, but before that ask yourself the question: “Is it worth it?” Perhaps you are doing things that you do not like at all, that you hate. And you are already following this path just out of habit. In such cases, any defeat is a reason to reconsider your life and, perhaps, start it from scratch.

3. Challenges ahead

Problems are part of everything you do in life. Whether you are starting your own business, starting a family, or just going to the gym, it doesn’t matter, one way or another you will face problems. A difficult period in your life is potentially the best time for personal growth. You have no choice, it's hit or miss. If you solve a difficult problem, if you face a tragedy, then the next difficulty will be less difficult. Roughly speaking, you get your hands on your problems, learn to solve them, and therefore the next ones seem frivolous to you.

4. Confidence at gunpoint

When everything goes against you, it is very difficult to maintain confidence and mental strength. But if you succeed, your personality will become much stronger. Yes, your pride is hurt, your capabilities are tortured, but if your psyche survives, it will become more stable from this. It will be difficult to break you later. Lost your job? You'll find another one, no problem. Lost your leg? Well, the pirates somehow went with one, so it’s no big deal. Lost a scholarship that covered half of your tuition? Well, it doesn’t matter, you’ll earn more. To be persistent and self-confident means to receive victory in advance.

5. Defeat is just a reason to come back and win.

It doesn't matter what you want to achieve. Maybe a girl, or maybe a good job or promotion. In any case, without persistence you will not get anything. But we cannot persist forever, because the energy resource in our body is not endless. Therefore, we often experience a crisis of motives and values, and only a harsh and strong slap in the face from the good old (and evil) fate, which is inflicted at the most unexpected moment, can force us to return to the battlefield. Is there a commander in the world who gave up after one lost battle? If there are any, then history has long forgotten about them and erased them from its database.

Ecology of life. Psychology: During a crisis or severe shock, it often seems as if life has stopped. It’s as if life was divided into “before” and “after”, the color rendition sliders were turned to zero and it became black and white,

During a crisis or severe shock, it often feels as if life has stopped. It’s as if life was divided into “before” and “after”, the color rendition sliders were turned down to zero and it became black and white, and you are in an empty room, fenced off from the street and everything else by a thick and soft wall. It’s as if your body left on an electric train, but your intangible spirit remained standing on the platform. So light that it is not able to leave marks on freshly fallen snow.

It’s as if you were put on pause, and the movement remained somewhere else, perhaps somewhere outside, and you are behind everyone else by a thousandth of a second, but that’s enough to be completely alone. This place is unusual and the space between objects is filled with confusion, it is viscous, like molten amber, which wants to take you to eternity in the form of a frozen figure that has lost its mobility.

In this place, everything seems to be the same as before, but the space lacks curvature, and the space lacks you - the wind no longer bends around, but rushes through, people’s gazes do not reflect off your skin and do not return to the retina with a string bag full of impressions. You run into walls because they no longer play along and move away, sensing your approach. It seems that your skin is inflamed and permeable and the rain, piercing the epidermis in the shoulder area, flows straight down the bones and splashes to the sides, escaping from under the nail plates, as if from drainpipes.

So, it seems as if life has stopped. But it was not life at all that stopped. The usual life has stopped. A life in which your existence was supported by many things, each of which in itself is devoid of content and value. But when they come together, they somehow suddenly become you. And when this happens, it seems that you can leave this body forever, but it will continue to live, making a career, raising children and collecting stamps.

You don't have to die to become a zombie; you can do it while you're still alive. And only sometimes, in spring or autumn, at the hour of an unprecedentedly hot sunset or piercing dawn, this body will stop, as if having stumbled upon an unfilled emptiness and, pausing for a moment, will again begin to digest uncertainty, turning it into excrement of order. But at this moment, all the settings and acquisitions seem to disappear and you can feel like you are living by default, with “factory” settings, unfamiliar with the rules and obligations. Reset yourself, return to the point from which all possibilities emerge. To be free from the fact that the whole world has to be dragged on your shoulders by a sort of Atlantean of the spirit, exhausted by the daily struggle with yourself. With an iris as if wiped from the inside from the scum of brain borscht, boiling under a tightly closed skull cap. True, most often this does not last long and the next thought, like a ball in a bowling alley, is already marking time on the threshold and waving a banner: “Oh, why is it me? I’d better go eat it!”

Because, as the poet said, only by losing everything do you become free. Not a beggar, naked, wasted talent, regressed into infantilism, a loser and insignificance, a narcissistic cesspool, but free. Without losing, but at the same time gaining. Moreover, having acquired what has always been with you. How strange it is that while the most desired thing is so close, in order to achieve it, you have to make the longest journey in life, but not around the world, but around the world. Walk around yourself to return to the point from which you started. Go behind yourself and see that the one you thought was just a shadow on the asphalt, which, like a prostitute, willingly lies on any given surface. And under this gaze she shrinks and disappears, like at noon.

This is my understanding of existential melancholy as the experience of the meaninglessness of life, but again, not life in general, but that life that suddenly begins to seem meaningless. Melancholy is an inoculation against blindness, which does not allow you to see the present. It has a huge resource, because in order to find the source, you first need to feel thirst. The very little that remains when you have lost everything is you.

In this state there are no separate events, such as a path from point A to point B. There is no choice like having to take one thing in order to give up everything else. There are no desires as goals towards which the mind is directed. There is simply presence and the impossibility of being anything else. Like a ball rolling down the neck of a funnel.

And so, returning to the beginning of the text, it seems to me that I can still return everything, tuck melancholy into the duvet cover of everyday habit, sprinkle it with mothballs and take it to my parents in the garage. Pretend that nothing happened and that all these vexations of the spirit are a consequence of poor digestion and changes in lighting conditions.

Or, barely containing the fear that the walls encircling the lived-in space are disappearing somewhere and in their place are only contour maps of existence, which there is not even anything to paint yet, you can try to stay with it. Bring out the idea that a world that has moved on will never be able to catch up. Freeze for a while in weightlessness and stop revolving around the monumental and final stars that beckon and lead astray. Let everything roll somewhere, to a sad or solemn ending, well, now without you. And then an amazing effect will be revealed - it turns out that it is not you, but everything around you that is paused and waiting for your return, since without you there is actually no life. It’s as if there is no now without you and the rolling world is actually drawn with a felt-tip pen on the wallpaper. And then you can return to your life at any moment, like a surgeon entering in a robe, hands forward. After all, you yourself are the outlet into which the New Year's garland is plugged.

It seems to me that this is the value of a crisis - the opportunity to open a door in life and go outside to look at what is happening from the outside. See people rushing by on the train, who have no choice in which direction to move. In a series of changing events, discover what is unchanged. To understand whether I need what is happening now. Be in silence to hear your inner voice. Finally begin to finish the text, pregnant with metaphors and vague hints of what the author may not understand too much, but should be well known to the reader.. published

When you lose everything you've lived for,
And you start life from scratch,
You can't, you can't rush
And people cannot be trusted.

Although... The owner of our life,
Probably not God after all.
He is taller than us and maybe more beautiful
But he couldn’t make us better.

Kinder, cleaner and wiser
We could make it ourselves
But we trust in God
All our lives we have been delirious about heaven.

And you just need to look around
On those who are nearby, those who are close,
For those who have encountered rudeness,
Who was on top, who fell low,

Who has not hidden the best feelings in his heart,
Who gave them to the ungrateful,
To whom the door is fortunately closed
Resentment, revenge, insidious evil.

And if you're caught like me
In the trap of human meanness,
Pray not to get lost in it,
And think more with your head.

Didn't you accept? drove away? passed?
Have you become everyone's gossip hero?
Mixed with dirt? trampled?
Killed your chances of success?

They won't laugh for long, you vile ones,
Over those who wished them well.
You will become smart, strong, daring,
You will understand how blind you were yesterday.

Will you find the strength not to stumble?
On the path that is dear to my heart,
And when you leave, you don’t look back
For those who wounded, but DID NOT KILL.

Reviews

You know, Yulyashka, no matter how radical it may sound, the truth is that everything that happens to us during our lifetime is fair. We ourselves are, to some extent, the creators of our own destiny and we have the right to choose. To some extent - because fate is multifaceted and implies the right to choose. And our whole destiny for a given life is just a kind of “technological process” of cutting your soul to give it uniqueness and individuality. Unfortunately, even God himself is not able to immediately create souls like this; he can only create the conditions for this. And the soul will live on earth as long as it is needed for a seemingly simple goal - deliverance or acquiring skills to fight vices.
This is the truth.
All the religions of the world only point the way to achieve this very goal, but a person must set the goal himself, and correctly. Often following the path indicated by religion, a person still does not know where he is going and then is born again and again on this planet.
with warmth, Evgeniy.

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From childhood, we all remember a poem about an absent-minded person who, in an attempt to leave the glorious city of Leningrad, always ended up on the same ill-fated platform due to his own carelessness. Alas, absent-mindedness is good only in jokes and children's fairy tales. In real life, it can cause a lot of trouble.

You can’t go on vacation without plane tickets or a passport, not having a driving license can lead to a serious fine, and losing the keys to your apartment is downright unpleasant. Just imagine how many unforeseen expenses you now face: buying a new lock, calling a locksmith, giving all your relatives new keys. It's a hassle! And all because you, as always, were somewhere in the clouds. It turns out that, despite the widespread belief that forgetfulness is a consequence of monstrous disorganization and indifference to real life, a serious psychological problem may be hidden behind it.

I don't want responsibility

Laughter is laughter, but Sigmund Freud spoke about the unconscious intent that accompanies certain losses. He insisted that they can often be seen as a symptom that reveals our inner conflict. And this lost thing will most likely be associated with that area of ​​life, be it work or relationships with loved ones, where we feel insecure, where something does not satisfy us.

We often come across the idea, hidden in our own subconscious, that any responsibility is an unbearable burden. We are afraid of getting a leadership position, although we constantly repeat that we want a promotion ( read also: “14 career goals for 2019 that will increase your effectiveness at work”). We don’t have children because we are afraid of the upcoming responsibilities: behind them our own lives may sink into oblivion.

It would seem, what does our forgetfulness have to do with this? The most direct thing. The fact is that easily forgetting important documents on the table, losing keys to offices, safes, leaving friends’ children unattended, our subconscious seems to scream: I don’t want responsibility. And since it would be indecent to say this out loud, we express our desire, or rather, reluctance to fulfill too many duties in action.

Too much information

It just so happens that our everyday life is overflowing with information: news, important events, work, study - all this needs to be kept in memory, and, meanwhile, it is not rubber. Due to the threat of oversaturation, our memory, almost according to the laws of physics, pushes out unnecessary information, and, believe me, it is not the latest news that is superfluous, but something truly necessary - an important meeting or work that requires immediate execution.

It is precisely because of the constant influx of various types of information that we begin to do many things mechanically. And it’s good if you unconsciously put the car keys in your pocket, it’s much worse if you automatically put them in the refrigerator - when your mind returns to you, it will be very difficult to find the necessary item.

Subconscious desire

Losing things can reveal our internal conflict, which we ourselves are not fully aware of. For example, keys are usually lost by those who do not want to return home; plane tickets are lost by those who do not want to go on vacation or a business trip. Often, many of us forget or lose our things in a stressful situation or when we are absorbed in something that worries us greatly.

But as soon as we begin to realize what exactly is bothering us, the absent-mindedness goes away. Remember how you run around the apartment looking for the most necessary thing, be it the mascara you bought just yesterday or a watch. You can turn the whole house over, throw out all the little things from your bags, go through things in the closet with shaking hands, you can even cry, but you won’t find such a necessary thing. You, in a completely broken state, go to work or a meeting an hour late, and upon returning home the first thing you will see is your unfortunate disappearance.

Why is this happening? This is because in a stressed, excited state we lose our vigilance, but in a calm state, on the contrary, our vision even improves.

• Make friends with things. To be more attentive to things, you don’t need a lot of skill: invest your emotions in them. Attach the keychain that your mother gave you to your keys - it will be a pity to lose such a valuable gift. Buy yourself a beautiful wallet - it’s much harder to part with something you like than with something that doesn’t evoke any feelings in you. And, besides, it doesn’t hurt to think about how much money you waste every month, restoring credit cards, phone or documents: take pity on yourself and spend your salary on something worthwhile.
• Ask yourself what the lost item meant to you. Perhaps you really wanted to get rid of it (or get rid of those memories associated with this item). Listen to your true emotions: it is likely that now, having parted with an unnecessary burden, you feel relieved (