How to get your girlfriend back after saying “Let’s remain friends”? Let's remain friends: what to do, what to do If a girl says that we will only be friends.
Many times guys have asked me what to do if a girl tells you that you are just a friend for her? You want love and affection, and she gives you the phrase “You and I are just friends” and that’s it.
The girl tells you not to think about any close relationships, you are nothing more to her than just a good friend. And you, as a guy, cannot understand why a girl treats you this way.
And I’ll explain this to you now.
In 90% of cases, you are the only one to blame. Let's consider the two most common development situations.
Option one - You like the girl, you look after her.
This is the most common option. The girl, in turn, reciprocates. Then, when the guy tells her that he loves her, she makes her eyes big and round and replies, “Sergey, what are you talking about, we’re just friends.” And it's the guy's fault. Why? Now I will explain in detail.
In any case, if this is the situation, it’s worth a try.
BatMouse on June 9th, 2010
That's how I started dating my friend. Before this, I knew her for 3 years, then something woke up, I proposed to her, and she didn’t mind) We’ve been together for 1.5 years already, I adore her)
Maria on December 5th, 2010
“The ideal option is to show all this during the first three meetings. If you wait longer, you risk labeling yourself as “just a friend.”
oooh guys, how wrong you are, most girls won’t be very pleased if at the first meeting a guy insists on sex
everything should be done in moderation, no need to slow down, but you shouldn’t rush too much either
otherwise you risk getting slapped)
Kirill on January 25th, 2011
please help me what should I do if a girl doesn’t want to go out with me and I want a problem, I’m 19 and she’s 19.2 she’s 2 months older than me, help me what to do in this situation
Vlad on February 3rd, 2011
Diman, please give me the site, the same situation!))))))))
I won’t say that I was stupid at the beginning, but…..I just didn’t want anything then, I thought we’d just hang out and that’s it, and then…BANG and that’s it, and then she tells me “you’re just a good friend to me, you’ve crossed the line of a guy” =((((
Sergey on February 20th, 2011
Please tell me what to do if I talked about my feelings for her and she’s just friends and that’s all...
Zhenya on April 8th, 2011
All this is strange. My opinion is that if you fall in love, then go to the end. Achieve, knight, whatever, because you see - she was created for you, and you for her. If anyone beats him back, he'll be screwed. Let him not pretend.
Alexander on April 11th, 2011
Hi all!!! The same situation. I’ve been in love with a girl since 2nd year, she’s my classmate, we’re good friends, but she doesn’t see me as a guy, just a classmate and that’s it, I’ve already involved her other best friend in this situation so that she can talk to me about me her, she tells her that for her I’m just a classmate and a good friend, nothing more, I gave her flowers, wrote love poems, but she doesn’t react to it at all!!! We are now finishing the 3rd year. I can’t be with other girls because of her, because I constantly think about her, and I can’t be with others for a long time because I love her!!! And now she likes another guy, How can I get her??? What to do in this situation? How to get out of the Friend zone and into the GUY zone??? Waiting for comments!!!
Rostislav on July 2nd, 2011
Damn, this article is spot on. The girl does not reciprocate. I'm already sick of it. What I didn’t do. I'll try as you said.
Vano on July 3rd, 2011
If a girl says no, ignore her. She is not worthy of your attention. She is not the last in this world, there are a lot of other girls who will reciprocate your feelings.
Artemochka on July 5th, 2011
Vano said it straight to the point, it’s hard to do that if you really fell in love
Rodion on August 8th, 2011
I support Vano! I don’t know about you, for me the main thing is feelings, love... but I throw it aside.
Damn, although I have the same situation right now AAA!
the girl goes for a walk with me, everything is fine, I see the sparkle in her eyes... but she says “this is a friendly date” ahah)) I don’t know what will happen next, but she is what I need, and I will insist on my point!
Good luck to everyone who is on the verge of despair... remember, the main thing is to believe in yourself and in her!
Christina on September 8th, 2011
Dmitry, I would kill you for this thing, remember everything is different! Some girl probably left you, or cheated on you, that’s why you think that everyone is like that, YOU ARE DEEPLY MISTAKEN!!!
Eugene on December 1st, 2011
I seem to have the same situation that is indicated in the article, there were 3 meetings, but I behaved towards her as with a friend, and for some time she told me no. What should I do? Who can tell me?
Max on January 8th, 2012
I also have a similar problem, I’ve known a girl for 3 years before, I didn’t know that I liked her, I only recently realized I don’t know what to do, I hinted to her, she says that we are just friends, I can’t do anything, I walk with her every day as a friend to me It’s a shame when she sometimes hints to me that we are friends and no more I would like to date her, what should I do?
Kirya on January 24th, 2012
P.S. children are not from me))
Shcherbakova N on March 14th, 2012
I had this situation. I thought that he was just a friend to me, but it turned out... Now we don’t see each other, but I really want to see him at least for a couple of seconds. Mentally, body and soul, I am with him, but nothing can be returned.
Alfred on April 16th, 2012
You just need to show her that you can live well without her) don’t call, don’t write... but sometimes, of course, when you fall in love it doesn’t work out... you’re the first to call and write :)) but this is almost a 100% option... then she’ll start wooing you herself)) )
Seryoga on June 27th, 2012
Zhenek, they walked her in all 4 directions. Resign yourself and look for another!
Artyom_Sh on September 22nd, 2012
I won’t put one size fits all, but still.
There is a good saying: We don’t appreciate those who have, but we cry when we lose. Some girls are frankly stupid, guys approach them with good deeds, actions, and then they say “we’re just friends.” The latter, in the end, if they are strong, forget about them and get to know others, they don’t slow down .Well, those who said “we’re just friends” begin to gnaw at their elbows and then write in search engines “why am I such a fool”:) in short, guys, I agree with Vano, he said it bluntly: a girl doesn’t want a relationship - it’s a nose bleed, but forget her, talk to other girls. Tested, it works :)
Sergey on September 25th, 2012
Guys, thank you all for your comments! I, like everyone else, have the same issue. You give gifts, he accepts them! I'm shocked by my actions! I introduced her to my parents. Her mother asked me to take them to the airport. She asked me to wait for her father to greet him. I decided that everything was fine, and she answered me: “We need to communicate less often and keep our distance.” Might actually ignore her for a couple of months and see what happens.
Boule on June 2nd, 2016
You need to say this not with words, but with actions. Girls understand actions well. Most likely, your actions did not show her the seriousness of your intentions. Hence, she automatically put you in the friend category. Plus, with your call you showed her that she is very important to you. And he automatically put her above himself. Now she rules your relationship, not you. She is more important. What to do here - Idk. I would say something like, “No, that's fine.” and would start messing with others further. Periodically asking her for advice on where it’s better to take that other one and tell her how great you had with that other one. The main thing here is not to overdo it. It should be natural. She will have a strong theme: “Fuck, how is this possible? He’s basically a good guy, but I blew him off, stupid.” And jealousy will appear, which will make her pursue you. And here you are already in a winning position and more important than it. If there is no jealousy and similar things, then she doesn’t really need you. Accept it and look for another. There is nothing worse than a girl who doesn't love you, and you constantly force her to love you. When she is with you only out of pity, it’s cruel and the end of everything.
Alexei on June 2nd, 2016
Recommend something else
Nikita on August 30th, 2016
Please help!! My best friend has a sister, I like her very much, I can’t live without her. A year and a half ago, I wrote to her that I loved her very much and she replied that she was not against a relationship, but she needed to think. Then I wrote every day in the morning, noon and night. Somehow later we began to communicate less and the love passed. I thought about her every damn day , I was in a lot of pain, but then it became easier. Recently, she and her brother were at my house for 2 days. When we went outside for a walk, she asked, “Nekit, are you my best friend?” (and she smiled so much...) and I answered that why am I friends with a girl? (by the way, this is not the first time she has asked this) After answering, she somehow fell silent. When they left, I realized that I had fallen in love again. Today I went to this site and thought that when she asks this again, I will definitely say that I am attracted to you not as a friend but as a girl and I want to see her reaction but I don’t know what to do next (.Advise something else please!!!
A fairly large number of people have heard the phrase “let’s remain friends” at least once in their lives. Such words can be very unsettling and cause a significant blow to self-esteem. Is it worth putting an end to your communication after this or is this just a temporary obstacle, you need to figure it out.
The above may imply several scenarios for the development of your relationship:
- Complete absence of any intimacy.
- The person offers culturally, but is not seen at all.
- Possibility to separate, but on good terms.
Reasons there may be such a solution great amount. Sometimes such words sound like a bolt from the blue. May be you were so in love that they just didn't notice existing problems. Now the main thing is to understand what and when it happened that the relationship ceased to be romantic or stopped altogether.
If these words came from a girl
Unfortunate 3 words can be heard at any time throughout the relationship. It is always worth remembering that the fairer sex unusual figurative thinking, which is sometimes completely inexplicable and incomprehensible. In this case, many can use the expression about female logic. Quite often, representatives of the fairer sex think for a long time before making a final decision. So as not to offend you and to avoid causing a wave of negativity, the phrase “let’s remain friends” comes to the rescue.
What should I do to change everything?
To try to renew sympathy you need to carry out a whole operation. The first thing to do is break all contacts with this person for at least six months, in case you were culturally abandoned. This concerns not only personal meetings, but and telephone and correspondence, try not to even answer incoming calls. Get over yourself to achieve the desired effect in the future. There is no complete guarantee that after this time the relationship will resume, the main thing is that you change and do first steps into a new life.
Take care of yourself Perhaps change your style of clothing, communication and increase your social circle. Improve yourself, attend trainings, start playing sports, any changes will only increase the chances of reciprocity. Next time you meet, partner certainly will notice yours reincarnation. When your relationship has smoothly flowed into a friendly direction, disappear for a few weeks and see if the person will seek a meeting with you.
If interest in you is renewed, now it's time to dictate your own rules. Make the person regret that he once rejected you, for example, make him jealous. Show that there are a lot of people around who are also not against starting a relationship with you and at this moment remind you that you are what these scenes are for. Only don't overdo it so as not to alienate the person forever.
Another option
This method is not suitable for inexperienced people; in order for it to work, you need to have willpower. It consists in systematic appearance and disappearance. When you hear the phrase: “Let's remain friends,” agree. Especially, If on the horizon a new candidate has appeared for the role of the second half. It’s just that if you take the previous method, there may be nowhere to go back to, so you can’t lose contact. Here need to include "friend", and without any possible hints of something more. Friendship should not be sluggish, try to spend as much time as possible together, for example, go to exhibitions, find a common hobby. During this time, a strong attraction should arise.
Now we move on to the second stage. When you notice interest to your person: constant calls, invitations to go for walks, it means everything was done correctly. Now I need to leave, and completely disappear for a while. During this time, you can change, for example, change something in your image. You also need to bring your loved one back into your life unexpectedly. Just come visit or call and ask for a walk as if nothing happened. When contact is not broken, you need to immediately try to take the relationship in a new direction, stop playing at friendship. Touch by accident, take your hand, any action that will bring you even closer will do. At such moments, you will definitely feel whether your partner is ready to rise to the next stage of your relationship.
“Let's remain friends” - how many men became unhappy after hearing this phrase. How much pain and suffering she brought them.
Let's figure out why it happens that the girl offers to just remain friends.
It would seem that the answer lies on the surface, she is not interested in you as a man, she does not want a relationship with you, and therefore “gently” offers to remain friends. Although in reality, she doesn’t want to be friends with you.
I highlight two main cases when a girl says “Let's remain friends”
1) You are in a relationship, there is a crisis in it, and you heard this phrase.
In this case, most men try to overwhelm the girl with declarations of love, flowers and gifts. She gets tired of excessive attention, and blocks you on social networks, and stops answering your calls. Nevertheless, you do not lose hope and begin to look for a meeting, waiting for your beloved at home or work, cutting off the phone numbers of her relatives. And as a result, you aggravate the situation even more and find yourself completely ignored by her.
And all this happens because you misinterpret the girl’s offer to remain friends. Let me translate it from female language: “Darling, our relationship has reached a dead end, you no longer suit me as a man, and I suggest we break up.”
You don't suit her like a man! And instead of flowers, gifts and SMS, start working on yourself. Figure out what you did wrong in the relationship, what didn’t suit the girl about you, and try to fix it. If she is not happy with the fact that you drank beer in the evenings, go in for sports and completely give up alcohol; if she said that it was boring with you, then find interesting hobbies. Remember that changes don’t happen quickly, so you don’t need to call the girl after two days and ask her to come back. Let him be bored for at least a week or two. But then call her and have a friendly chat. Tell her about your new life and see her reaction. You can enhance the effect by talking about how you began to enjoy the interest of the opposite sex. It is important to understand that the girl will not accept you the way you were before, and you need to change, while the girl needs to create a deficit of your attention so that she begins to miss you.
Call each other once a week and have a nice chat. And when she starts to show interest in you new, then start acting and return the relationship.
2) You are trying to woo a girl, but she says that you are just friends.
In this case, most men do not pay any attention to this phrase and continue to act according to the old scheme - asking for dates, giving flowers, confessing their feelings. They do not take this as a sign that she is not satisfied with the current you, and you need to develop in order to interest her.
First of all, start being friends with her. Yes, exactly to be friends. Stop paying for her, invite her to parties. Sometimes you disappear and then appear again.
Don't forget to engage in your own development. Make your life bright and rich, so that she herself strives to communicate with you and seeks a meeting.
And only after that start seduction.
I wish you never to encounter any of the above situations. But if this does happen, then try to be guided not by momentary emotions, but by logic. And only then will you achieve success.
Seeing a sad guy, it is often not difficult to guess the reason for his upset - the girl he loved said let’s remain friends. Men of any age, who have little experience communicating with the opposite sex, who have not yet learned to understand women, often react to this phrase with total depression: they go on a binge, cry into their pillows, complain to friends and relatives, try to get their beloved back, etc. The phrase “let’s remain friends” is perceived as nothing less than a catastrophe on a universal scale. Although, if you think about it, nothing terrible actually happened AT ALL. Below I will talk about how to easily and simply survive the DOD (let's remain friends) and start living a full, cheerful life a couple of hours or, at most, days, after this phrase.
The girl said let's remain friends. What to do
If the girl said let's remain friends, you don't need to panic. This is a familiar phenomenon in pickup trucks. Conventionally, it is called “The Girl Announced DOD.” Believe me, this will happen more than once in your life, but after reading this article, you will be ready for it.
If a girl told you “let’s remain friends”, this means that she is no longer attracted to you as a sexual partner or she did not consider you as such at all. It is important to understand this information in this way and accept it courageously. It is clear that this is painful and unpleasant, but the bitter truth is always better than a sweet lie - remember this.
The second thing you need to accept is that you won’t be able to get her back. Not because it’s unrealistic, it’s just that if she left you once, she’ll leave you again or will manipulate you all your life, and this is humiliating and wrong.
Third, your brain is now inadequate. He is feverishly looking for reasons why his beloved left you, and options for how to get her back. If you don’t find a reason, don’t try in vain. She may tell you that she doesn’t feel a spark between you and you will try to ignite this spark, when in reality she has just been sleeping for a week with another man who she likes much more.
Why can't you get your ex back?
The option of returning her should not be considered at all. Firstly, it is humiliating and unworthy of a normal man. Secondly, now it will cost you a lot of time, resources and nerves, and all for what? So that she snorts and turns her nose? Usually guys try to get a girl back - they spend a lot of money, don't sleep at night - but they still can't get her back. Simply because she fell in love with another man. Then the guy, after some time, usually calms down and realizes that getting her back is unrealistic and begins to live his own life. So isn’t it easier to skip all this suffering and waste of resources and immediately start living normally, burning off energy in another, more useful way, for example, through sports. It is a mistake to think that your situation is unique and that the woman is the only one. Believe me, every man is convinced of this after breaking up with a girl, if he has little experience communicating with women.
Practice shows that some guys, spending a lot of resources, get their exes back after other men. Or they themselves then return, because their lover abandoned them or something didn’t work out. Some ask for forgiveness in tears, others, on the contrary, return as if they are doing you a favor (especially if the guy did not stop trying to get her back). But all the same, such couples then break up and do not last long, since the guy realizes (if not immediately, then over time) that he was betrayed, traded, and returned purely because he is a spare and convenient option. This is humiliating for a man. It is better to endure pain once than to feel humiliated all your life and allow yourself to be pushed around.
What exactly to do if a girl declares DOD
If a girl told you let's remain friends, you should do only two things: urgently, and start meeting other women. This is enough to overcome your attachment to your ex, at least the first symptoms of it, in just a couple of hours. Stay at home and load up, go to the bar, cry to friends, etc. Absolutely forbidden! This will only make your already bad mood worse.
If you have been declared a DOD, urgently go and meet 3-5 other girls. It is optimal to make 10 approaches to strangers. It’s better not to concentrate on one right now - after the breakup, she will seem worse than her ex. Try to meet many people at once. The first 2-3 approaches may be difficult for you - approach with strength. A break with the woman you love is a situation that gives a lot of energy. Use it correctly - step over your fear and reluctance to meet others, and seduce other women.
The second is sports. Work out in the gym for at least 2 hours every day. You can go to football or do long distance running. But it’s even better to take up boxing or wrestling - there you’ll quickly knock all the crap out of yourself.
If you start actively meeting girls, doing at least 5-10 approaches a day, you will forget your ex - if not in a couple of hours, then in a week for sure. Not in the sense that you will no longer remember who she is and what you had with her, but your feelings for her will cool down and you will begin to treat her as an ordinary girl. Many guys don’t want this, because they are overwhelmed by the heady feeling of love and are warmed by the hope of returning their beloved. But remember that one feeling is always replaced by another, so intoxicating love is guaranteed to you in any case, only with another, better girl.
- No alcohol. Drinking, even in moderation, only increases suffering and provokes you to act inappropriately. Soothe the internal discomfort from the breakup with sports and sex with other women;
- Other girls. Don’t immediately look for your next lifelong friend after breaking up with your loved one. Now your task is to drown out your feelings with sex. Just fuck for your own pleasure with many women - with all those who fall for you and you more or less like. Enjoy your freedom - no serious relationships;
- No suffering. The ex is not the best and not the only one. An ordinary girl, in some ways worse than many others. Remember how you treated her before you met. What has changed since then? Did she give it to you and was gentle, did she say words of love? And the other one may well do this. Moreover, she may have a sexier figure and cook better. A new partner is always better than the previous one - this is an axiom. Otherwise, after a breakup, people would never build relationships with anyone again.
Don’t worry, you will also have a beautiful woman, happy love, a family life, and stability. You just need to make an effort and all this can happen in a couple of days. Or years - if you continue to kiss your ex. There are actually very, very many good girls. In your city, on your street, dozens of them walk every day. Start meeting other girls, do it a lot and often, and you will see that there are many pretty young ladies around, much better than your ex, who will appreciate you much more than she does.
