Psychological exercises for the development of self-control and their benefits. How to develop divine self-control

A person can be considered an adult when he is able to say "no" to himself. No to your weaknesses, destructive passions, laziness, fears, doubts. And that's not all. A person can be considered an adult when he is able to say “no” to some pleasant events, too, in order to keep the focus of his life priorities.

Until then, he remains in the role of a child, constantly needing someone to control and guide him, whether it be family members, a leader or any other person who suggests what is best to do and checks that everything is done, even if it is The "parent" is the neighbor in the stairwell.

If you recognize yourself in this description, as I once did, I can say that there is some comforting news. The capacity for self-control is the crowning achievement of mindfulness practice. The most difficult and most important element of life by its own rules. He will be strengthened drop by drop throughout his life, leaving no right to "go the distance." You can't take a shower once and stay clean for the rest of your life, you can't strengthen your muscles just for a while, hoping that they will keep their tone for a long time - it's the same here. Once you have embarked on the path of self-control, you sign up to serve it all your life, each time returning yourself to the clarity of consciousness and the purity of your being, as the only way to keep balance and be the master of yourself.

It is better to tighten the belt at the waist (you will be slimmer) than to constantly walk with a leash around your neck

How to learn to control yourself and develop divine self-control?

1. Based on sincere spiritual effort

Only when you sincerely let go of your painful lust, from pure heart striving to improve this or that area of ​​your life, without conditions and claims and without shifting your happiness onto the shoulders of other people, but honestly intending to do everything that will depend on you and share joy, and not just take it - everything is getting better.

2. Divine self-control, like muscles, requires constant practice.

This skill is not formed all at once. And for two too. Self-control is strengthened like a muscle - at first one gets the feeling that it does not exist at all, nothing works out, but if you continue the practice, then over time the relief of the spirit will begin to manifest itself more and more clearly. As you become stronger within you, self-control will affect every aspect of your life. But I recommend starting work with skill with easier tasks that you can at least theoretically pull. - Golden Rule.

So how do you get a hold of yourself?

Just take. And take it from time to time when the situation requires it.

Say "no" to yourself. Distract the mind to any kind of fruitful activity, even washing the floors when it tries to pull you to the dark side.

This is a question from the category: “How to learn to ride a bike?”

The only way is to sit down and go, although you can talk about this topic as much as you like. Unfortunately, I do not know how you can learn to ride a bike without falling, although there probably are. It's the same with self-control. You will lose it at the first stage all the time, but once you catch the balance, and you will no longer be stopped.

The algorithm looks like this:

1. Your clear, pure and light understanding: "What the hell do you care about all this?" from remote work or starting your own business to the desire to cope with addiction.

2. Your diligent efforts do it differently, and not as usual, with the principle

3. Your trapping by the tail and return on the trail healthy lifestyle life and thinking at the moment when you moved out of it. No matter how many times this happens. Without whining and reasoning. Cold-bloodedly they caught themselves by the scruff of the neck, and again diligent efforts to be the master of themselves, and not a slave of their habits and other people.

Habit is either the best of servants or the most dangerous of masters.

Anthony Robbins

At first it will be hard, and not so much physically, but mentally because it doesn’t work out, but imperceptibly the intensity will weaken, and with each step self-control will come easier and easier, becoming your natural state and a sincere desire to control yourself.

3. Set yourself a healthy challenge

A great tool is to take on a challenge. A healthy, meaningful decision to do something over a period of time. You can announce it publicly (so that there is no way to step back).

Mine and the one that followed literally changed my life. Me a year ago and me today - two different person even outwardly. These things work if you approach them wisely.

The challenge is just a tool that allows you to taste the very state of holding yourself in your hands and the fruits that it can bear. You cannot always live on such challenges (and you don’t need to), another question is that they can imbue you with a state of a little more awareness, after which it is already very difficult to live in the old way. And you take on the path of self-control as the only possible variant life in ease and joy.

Today, after 12.5 years of sobriety, I cannot say that I am completely cured. But I found a way to live naturally and freely

Alexey Merkulov, teacher of kundalini yoga, former drug addict with great experience

Self-control and awareness to be!

How many can be called titans of will? Why in Everyday life there are so few "supermen" and "ladies of steel"? People with a strong will, regardless of natural potential, usually devote a lot of time to the development of these qualities. AND good level control is more important to success in life than intelligence. It's twice as important. How to learn self-control? Mindless self-examination will not help.

On the benefits of metaphors

The first thing a future “terminator” needs to know is that the ability to build power interactions can be compared to a muscle. The metaphor is valid, but it has both positive and negative consequences. First, by working on yourself, you can increase the strength of the “muscle”.

Second - this muscle tends to get tired - and the person ceases to control himself. For this reason, losing weight attack the refrigerator in the evening. Not because the calories at this time are somehow more attractive or because we “have a stereotype of an evening meal”. But because the willpower ran out by the evening, the person made too many decisions - and was simply tired. The development of self-control is greatly inhibited if you have a stressful job. What to do? Transfer the most serious decisions to the morning, when a person still has a lot of “volitional resource”, and try to devote the evening only to rest. It must be remembered that he trains with a dosed, but gradually increasing load precisely after reaching fatigue. Therefore, you can go for a run, and after that force yourself to do something completely unpleasant. Cleaning, a piece of uninteresting work, or maybe a call to the support service, which stubbornly does not want to help? There are many options.

Second important rule: Blood sugar should be at a decent level. How to learn self-control? If there are sharp drops, the probability of "failing" the task will be too high.

It turns out that when we are hungry, self-control is greatly reduced. The decision-making part of the brain has too few "resources". She is the most perfect and vulnerable. But they “feed” her last. Because the issue of resource extraction is better solved by the ancient emotional zone. This is how starvation diets fail. This is how anorexics become bulimics. Self-control skills are under attack if the brain is hungry. What to do? Do not bring yourself to a state of weakness, but provide the brain with “slow” carbohydrates in a dosed manner.

Happens to everyone

The third rule is to learn to forgive yourself for failures. Violations of the established regime must be completely “written off”, otherwise it will be very difficult for a person to regain faith in himself. positive thinking- ambiguous idea

But in general, thinking positively is helpful, as long as you don't ignore problems. It is necessary to keep in view the complex, but to concentrate on the available resources and opportunities. That's how Donald Trump got out of bankruptcy several times. How to learn self-control? One must acquire the ability to retreat when necessary.

Why stress?

The fourth rule - the strength of the spirit is formed as a derivative of physical development. Therefore, it is extremely important to bother yourself in the stadium or in the gym. The amount of load that a person is able to withstand regularly is related to his volitional capabilities.

If you are unhappy, start with the body. Moreover, endurance training is better than strength training. Little time? Then learn the technique Effectively and usefully. But be prepared for the fact that after training it is very difficult to force yourself to do anything. Remember rule number one? Therefore, you will have to plan the time very carefully, so that after the load at first there are no very serious things. And this is a strong argument against the beloved by many "run in the morning." In the morning, you just need to warm up a little, nothing more. Otherwise, you will feel exhausted later. And this is the risk of not doing the job. Therefore, it is better to run after the most important thing is done.

In the name of values

The fifth rule - the strength of the spirit is stronger when you strive for the highest. This is exactly the case when a strong answer to the question "Why?" crosses out all the difficulties of answering the question "How?". Moreover, it is much easier for a person to try not for himself, but for others. Therefore, a worthy goal that will help many will motivate very much. And spur on without additional stress. The natural mechanisms of its maintenance will turn on. So it turns out to concentrate even in people with attention deficit - clearly a pathological condition.

Control and self-control are closely related. Only those who are capable of being masters of themselves can lead others. And it's not just about the positive negative example. A person with a strong will thinks more clearly and is able to adhere to already decisions taken. How to learn self-control? Dose the load, eat the right carbohydrates, forgive yourself, train and think, in the name of what you need to bother yourself. The last tip is the most important and helps even in "hopeless" cases.

TheQuestion partner response

Sometimes self-control refers to the ability to keep one's negative feelings in check and not act impulsively towards other people. This is a narrower definition. I would go elsewhere. Self-control can be understood as the ability to act according to one's long-term prospects, and not under the influence of the desire for immediate reward. How to lay its foundation and develop it to the required degree? Here are some tips.

1. Give up the idea of ​​motivation and inspiration. Many people think that you need to constantly maintain motivation in yourself, strive for a state when you want to do difficult things and move mountains. But this big mistake. Difficult and important things will never cause a great desire to do them, you will always have to push yourself. The brain will talk you out of your comfort zone and insist that you get plenty of rest or feed it dopamine from games, web surfing, sugary and fatty foods.

2. Bring your physical condition back to normal. Yes, without self-control it will be difficult. But first, at least start following the basic things: sleep, food, rest. If you sleep little, eat poorly and do not have quality rest at the end of the day and between work, then you should not even think about any self-control. You have no energy for it, the body only thinks how to live another day, there is no time for long-term plans and willpower training.

3. Throw all your energy into the development of discipline. First, get rid of the delusion that discipline = tyranny. Hearing the word "discipline", many imagine harsh army commanders or evil teachers with rods. Change these stereotypes in your head. Discipline is freedom. This is what will help you stick to your life plan, and not what your brain wants here and now. By developing discipline, you will really learn to take control of your life. Do not tyrannize yourself and do not harass, everything starts small.

4. Build the foundation conscious life from habits. It is the right habits that create the backbone of your conscious life, help you not to constantly attract willpower and not strain every time. Don't think that your life will become boring, too automated, gray. You will simply choose the habits you want to follow instead of blindly following impulses.

How to create a new habit and break the old one

There are several elements that form a habit:

• Trigger - something that provokes you to commit an action, reminds you of it
• Accessibility - doing something should be easy
• Reward - action should be rewarded in some way

Your good habit should remind you of yourself, let something related to it be in sight. For example, if you want to practice yoga every day, put a mat in a prominent place. The habit should be simple and accessible, real to practice right now. Start practicing yoga with 10 minutes a day. Also set a reward from a list of what you already know how to do and love to do.

By the same elements, you are struggling with a bad habit. You remove reminding factors, complicate its implementation, create negative consequences.

5. . Decreased cognitive functions are often mistaken for a lack of self-control. For example, you cannot read a book carefully even for 10 minutes, scold yourself for it, believing that you lack discipline. In fact, the problem is that you have a weak attention, you need to start training it. It is the same with other brain functions: memory and thinking. You can do this on . We have developed exercises that help to develop in a complex. You can do 15-20 minutes a day, the main thing is regularity. You can make these one of your main good habits that will help drive all the others.

Once, in a moment of mental weakness after another situation, when I asked the same question, I was reassured by the words of a friend. Think, he said, about this: who is telling you something, what this someone is saying to you, and for what purpose. It was quite difficult at first, especially when you already lost your temper, but now it’s probably impossible to piss me off, because if they want to offend, anger or upset you, why allow this to happen to you?

I'm doing research on a related topic. "Volitional regulation" and "self-control" are related concepts, although not identical. In our country and abroad, there are many different concepts in which "self-control" is understood in different ways and, accordingly, various tips and recommendations are offered on how to improve this matter.

Everyone agrees that self-control is necessary and useful. But what is it?

1. There is, for example, the resource approach of Roy Baumeister (ego-depletion theory). Roy Baumeister lives and works in the USA and has been developing his author's theory with colleagues for many years. It believes that self-control is like a certain muscle that stops working properly when it gets tired. And how the self-control muscle can be "pumped up" through various trainings. Numerous studies by Baumeister and his colleagues show that in order to exercise self-control at a normal level, a person must have a good functional state. Those. he should get enough sleep, eat normally, etc. Hence the recommendation: get yourself in order. You may not be able to because you sleep 6 hours, eat on the go a couple of times a day and sit in an uncomfortable position. Recommendation 2: Start small and move on to bigger things.

2. There is, for example, Timothy Pichil's theory of procrastination. Timothy Pichil is a Canadian scientist working at Carleton University (Ottawa). He has a small book translated into Russian. It's called "Don't Put Off Till Tomorrow. A Short Guide to Fighting Procrastination." Pichil's main research focuses on understanding the psychological mechanisms of procrastination. So, he believes that we, through an optional activity, are trying to bring ourselves into a good emotional state, so that in this emotional state we can already begin to do the main thing (for example, prepare for an exam). Such a strategy turns out to be a losing one, and in the end we find ourselves in a bad mood and with unfinished business. Moreover, studies show that the main thing seems more difficult, scary and repulsive BEFORE we start doing it. And when we sit down, it already seems a little easier, calmer and more pleasant. Those. recommendation: sit yourself down for at least 15 minutes and start. Then you can get involved, it turns out everything is not so bad. Not to wait Have a good mood and inspiration.

3. There is, for example, the theory of Carroll Dweck (professor at Stanford University). She develops the concept of "implicit personality theory" - this is, roughly speaking, what we learn about ourselves and life, and put into such everyday theories. Accordingly, if a person considers himself strong-willed, believes that he has developed self-control - such a person tries better and longer. It is difficult to give unambiguous recommendations here, because "believe in yourself" and "think positively" is somehow unprofessional. Although the general logic is something like this.

4. There is a good book with advice from Kelly McGonigal (professor at Stanford University) - "Willpower. How to develop and strengthen" - there is enough big set recommendations and review of research on the topic. Research, of course, foreign.

5. In the USSR and Russia, the terms "will" and "volitional regulation" were more popular. There were quite a lot of manuals on this topic with advice. For example, "How to educate the will and character" by L. Ruvinsky. If we discard the ideological "jokes" about building communism, you will find many useful stories and tips there.

6. Many interesting studies were carried out at the Ryazan School of Will Psychology. IN AND. Selivanov and A.I. Vysotsky worked in Ryazan State University named after Yesenin. You can find their work online.

7. Perhaps the most useful book for you may be the book " Psychological mechanisms volitional regulation "V.A. Ivannikov (Professor of Moscow State University named after M.V. Lomonosov). Ivannikov proposes to consider as the main mechanism of volitional regulation - a change or creation of an additional meaning of the action. The idea is that if we do not do something, we we don't see enough sense in it.If this sense "appears", then we can do this thing. Accordingly, the better you know how to create / change the meaning of an action, the better you cope. The book highlights 8 such ways that you can use Again, a recommendation: start small and train systematically.

Whole historical process social evolution is a way to educate a person's self-control. Along with the development of culture, more and more restraining factors appeared that allowed a person to control a person's primitive cave instincts and instilled in him a morality alien to his nature.

The path to gaining self-control consists in tightening our own principles, in developing in ourselves a higher morality than was instilled in us in childhood. You need to put more boundaries and restrictions around you. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how these restrictions are brought up: by the formation of habits, by an effort of will in stressful situations or through the development of conscience. And I don't think there's any simple advice on gaining self-control, because everyone has their own weak spots and it takes a lot of effort and time to overcome these weaknesses. When I talk about weaknesses, I mean that each person of different strength and direction has feelings (if emotions are very strong, then it is much more difficult to defeat them with reason, and it will be elementary easier for a cold-blooded person to gain self-control than an emotional one), which will have to be curbed .

As I wrote briefly above, you can simply develop habits in order to give out the desired rehearsed reaction in certain similar situations (swearing and rudeness, for example, you just need to ignore, and not respond with anger to anger; your own cowardly desires to avoid self-development for the sake of entertainment you just need to ignore, nip in the bud and do what you need, and not what you want). You can also try to pay attention to what you are doing more often and constantly stop yourself by an effort of will, thereby controlling your actions in real time, and not letting everything take its course. The most difficult way is to develop moral instinct, conscience, which can be so strong that it will stop in any doubtful cases. The path of development of conscience consists in constant reflection, analysis of one's actions and comparing them with the desired ideals. You can try to convince yourself that the people around you will hate you if you are cowardly even in the smallest things.

According to Wikipedia, self-control is an ability. It is based on will - the highest mental function that determines a person's ability to make conscious decisions and put them into practice.

Self-control can be trained and improved, like many mental processes. This requires specific methods and strategies that will help you resist or avoid temptation. Yes, these are two fundamental different ways. The former is considered hardcore, efficient, and incredibly difficult to implement. The second is perceived by many as a weakness, because how can you train willpower and self-control if you simply avoid temptations? But it is precisely both methods in conjunction and work perfectly.

Self-control: the benefits

Increases the efficiency of decision making

When we resist temptation, the decision becomes easier to make, because in a state of awareness, the brain works better. We also learn to plan our actions so as not to indulge in bad habits. So, we make the right, balanced decisions.

Increases the chances of success in any business

People who have a high level of self-control are able to achieve long-term goals. And this is what allows you to achieve success in any business.

Helps stop impulsive behaviors such as overeating and drinking

Self-control includes mindfulness, so you won't automatically reach for a cigarette, a glass of wine, or a hamburger. It will also keep you from impulsive purchases, as well as losing your temper at the slightest irritant.

Improves concentration

If you have self-control, then first of all you can control the thoughts in your head. This allows you to enter working condition, get rid of negativism and focus on the desired task.

Gets rid of bad habits

In order to get rid of bad habit, in addition to a variety of tricks, it is necessary to develop self-control. This will allow you to switch your attention at critical moments, resist the temptation and remind yourself of why you started everything.

How to develop self-control

There is a large number effective strategies which will increase self-control in both adults and children. They are suitable for both sports and business. Let's take a look at the best of them.

Admit you are exhausted

Research shows that self-control is a limited resource. The more often you show it, the more it affects the physiological level: the glucose level drops.

Roughly speaking, you always have a certain amount of self-control in the tank. When you control yourself, you drain it and become prone to temptation. Psychologists call this "ego exhaustion."

Admit to yourself when your self-control is low. This is the first step to take.

Make a preliminary decision

Prepare in advance for a seductive situation. Do not think that you will cope with it without first deciding:

• Take a certain amount of time to think.
• Don't order drinks at the bar if you don't want to smoke again.
• Buy home and go to the store only full.

It's usually hard to make a preliminary decision because we like to leave options open.

Fight the unconscious

One of the reasons why we give in to temptation is that the unconscious is always ready to undermine our best intentions.

The researchers found that the participants in the experiment were easily tempted when they began to behave on autopilot, that is, unconsciously. What can be done about it? Deal with triggers that cause this behavior. Anything can be a trigger:

• Words, phrases, thoughts.
• Negative and positive emotions.
• specific people.
• specific situations.

If you start avoiding these triggers, you will end your cycle of negative behavior.

Use mental pictures

This strategy is used when the temptation is nearby and cannot be removed physically. Therefore, you need to get him out of your psyche. And one of better ways is to create mental pictures.

Make temptation unpleasant with unpleasant imagery. If you want to quit smoking, imagine someone suffering from cancer or having to get their teeth cleaned. If you are trying to go on a diet, imagine yourself in terrible shape and feeling disgusting.

This method works great, but not right away. He needs to be trained. In principle, one of them can be enough for you for 95% of all possible situations.

Identify the deeper need behind the temptation

Almost always, by thinking about your habits and behavior, you can find that behind every vicious desire is a deep need. We smoke, overeat or play gambling not to enjoy poisons, chemicals and money won. There are completely different reasons behind all this.

There is such a thing as emotional overeating - the use of food to calm down. In addition, the stress hormone cortisol causes cravings for salty, sweet, and high-fat foods. All this gives an explosion of energy and pleasure. But even this is not a deep need, but simply a reason.

Find out why you give in to temptation so often. This may be due, for example, to not finding your calling, not being satisfied with your life, being in a relationship with the wrong person, or low self-esteem. If you do not think about such things, then you simply “jam” the problem, and each time it becomes more voluminous and, as a result, can manifest itself in the form panic attacks, phobias, depression and other mental problems.

You can increase your chances if you also avoid temptation. We have already said that the ideal combination is to fight temptation and avoid it. Try to solve the problem by approaching it from different angles.

Reward Yourself

This is one of the magic pills that almost all books on developing willpower and self-control offer. You can use this advice, but with caution: it works very poorly when alone, as it leads to stress. That is, you can resist the temptation, promising yourself something more useful and pleasant, but until then you will feel like an unhappy person.

It is believed that people with a high level of self-control are deprived of many benefits and are forced to be unhappy in order to achieve long-term goals. But it's not. They enjoy this state. And that's why reward alone doesn't work: it makes you feel like you're making a sacrifice.

Learn to enjoy self-restraint. Realize that you are increasing your level of self-control. This will be the best reward.

Plan your failures ahead of time

When developing a skill or working on a task, failure is inevitable. And if you don’t prepare psychologically for this, then you can get a serious blow to your self-esteem, which will inevitably lead to a loss of self-control.

Create a recovery plan. What will you do if you smoke or eat junk food? The plan should be specific and simple. This can be a punishment, because without it, guilt can arise, which will only aggravate the situation.

Distract yourself

The famous marshmallow test by renowned psychologist Walter Mischel shows that children with self-control can deflect temptation. They covered their eyes with their hands or turned so as not to see the treat, pounded on the table, pulled their hair or played with marshmallows.

Perhaps these methods will seem strange to you. But nothing prevents you from coming up with something of your own: switch attention, listen to music, think about something abstract, talk with a friend, watch a movie, drink water. Dive into something that will distract you from temptation.

Take a few deep breaths

When you try to resist temptation, it causes a little stress as the mind challenges the emotions. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is involved in decision making and behavior. When stressed, it "fails." A few deep breaths will help correct the situation and calm the body. You will remember what important and useful goals are, and then pull yourself together.

Use affirmations

It is a powerful tool that works great with long practice. When you find it hard to control the urge to do things you shouldn't, encourage yourself to stick to the plan. Research shows that affirmations improve self-control and make you more high level mental analysis.

The next time you find it difficult to control your urge to smoke, instead of saying to yourself, "I can't resist," think "I don't want to smoke" or "I want to be a healthy person."

When you say "I can't" you are sending a message to your brain that you are forcing yourself to do something you don't want to. And he happily indulges this desire. By saying, "I don't want to do this," you are reminding yourself that you are not going to take part in this bad habit.

Postpone temptation for later

This is another trick that is best used in combination with another tip. The next time you have an overwhelming urge to watch a YouTube video instead of work, tell yourself, “Not now. I'll save it for later."

The phrase works best: “I will work for another half an hour, and then I will do what I like.” If after 30 minutes the temptation arises again, you can perform this trick again. But, most likely, this will not be necessary, because it is easier for the brain to stay busy with the current activity than to switch to something else.

Change the environment

Find out where the negative habit gets its strongest triggers. Changing the environment will help resist temptation.

If you want to stop drinking, you may have to stop watching football so you don't go to the bar with your friends. Avoid temptation for as long as possible with a variety of tricks.

Meditate

Meditation helps to control your thoughts and feelings, and also increases. Which in turn improves focus, stress management and self-awareness.

There have been various studies on this subject, but if one conclusion is drawn from them, it will be this: eight weeks of daily meditation significantly increases self-control. Mindfulness allows you to focus on breathing, feelings and sensations, which increases the brain's ability to resist destructive thoughts.

You have probably seen it for yourself: people who practice meditation regularly seem to be calm and able to control their behavior.

get enough sleep

We have already said that self-control and willpower are limited resources. If you sleep poorly, then they will be even less than usual.

In addition, if you sleep little, you are not able to make informed decisions, which will certainly lead to the fact that at a difficult moment you will give up, not finding the right words in order to pull yourself together.

A good night's (as well as daytime) sleep can fully replenish your reservoirs. Find out how much sleep you need and never sacrifice it for the sake of momentary pleasures.

Be clear about what you will control

Blurred target - worst enemy self-control. If you put it like “I don’t want to be late again” or “I don’t want to be distracted”, then this will not lead to anything good.

Instead, analyze your usual daily routine, as well as environment. A specific goal will help improve self-control. For example: "For an hour, I will not pick up my phone and check social networks."

Write down all your impulsive thoughts

Despite its position at the end of the list, it is one of the best strategies. You should write down all your impulsive thoughts that prevent you from sticking to the plan. This has three advantages:

• You will learn to deal with negative thoughts.
• You will pay conscious attention to them.
• You will see what ridiculous excuses you come up with.

The third is especially important: a person shows amazing when he wants to eat junk food (“Deserved!”) Or smoke (“I'm stressed!”). After all, you need to live in a cave in order not to understand that a cigarette just causes stress, and does not relieve it. And also to have a strange logic, believing that you can earn the right to destroy your body. Excuses are what you should pay special attention to.

Write down all such thoughts, especially when you want to give up.

Practical people always look at big picture because it helps to achieve long-term goals. When working on a complex project, it can be tempting to take a week off. But if you look at everything globally, you will understand that this act will only move you away from the final and ultimately make you unhappier.

Books

• Resilience by Sharon Melnick
• The Psychology of Emotions: Feelings Under Control by Dan Dubravin
• "Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen Kelly McGonigal
• "The Development of Willpower" by Walter Mischel
• "On the limit. A week without self-pity - Eric Bertrand Larssen
• The Psychology of Achievement by Heidi Grant Halvorson
• “Get out of your comfort zone. Change your life. 21 Methods for Improving Personal Effectiveness Brian Tracy
• “Don't put off until tomorrow. A short guide to fighting procrastination by Timothy Pychil
• “18 minutes. How to increase concentration, stop distractions and do the things that really matter.” Peter Bregman
• "Be best version himself" Dan Waldschmidt

Sometimes, in order to develop self-control, you need to constantly think about it. What prevails in thoughts becomes something tangible and we begin to be conscious. Therefore, do not only think about this skill, but also get a lot of information: read blogs, books, watch videos on this topic.

We wish you good luck!

“The one who knows how to be restrained in anger is superior to the more powerful one, and the one who controls his mind, stronger than that who takes over the city.

Solomon

Why is self-control important?

A sign truly strong man is the ability to control your emotions and passions. The strength of the spirit and the ability to control oneself in difficult moments also have a direct impact on the physical state - any disruptions in emotional balance affect health, if not immediately, then over time.

Human nature, like any living being, is based on the instincts to satisfy needs.

However, unlike animals, which consume exactly what is required to meet their needs, a person can consume much more than the norm, which leads to unpleasant consequences. It is the pain that signals that changes in lifestyle should be made.

In order to successfully deal with their emotions and learn self-control, a person must awaken his consciousness. The development of will and intellect is the first step on the path of self-control.

The main emotions that impede a full life of a person:

1. Fear

The feeling of fear is main reason negative experiences such as jealousy, anger, disappointment and doubt.

2. Sensuality

Excessive adherence to this instinct encourages a person to constant search new pleasures, which often leads to problems with excess weight, addiction to alcohol, drugs or promiscuity.

3. Sexual attraction

Like sensuality, a person must be able to consciously use his sexual desire.

4. Vanity

There are three types of vanity—physical, mental, and spiritual—which are characterized by a sense of superiority. Vanity is a defect of character, which also prevents the formation of a full-fledged personality.

How to learn to control yourself?

There are several methods of control and self-control, as well as the development of self-control skills:

1. Eliminate the emotional aspect from the judgment.
It is not worth saying anything out loud until you are able to consciously make a decision, without strong emotions affecting the mind.

2. Avoid excessive impulsiveness and spontaneity in actions during an emotional experience.

3. A stable habit is formed as a result of the methodical repetition of the same actions.

This means that a person is able to develop useful habits on his own, including controlling himself in difficult situations.

4. The instincts and desires of a person are not all of him, but only his physical component.

However, there is also a rational part, which is far superior to physiology. This means that a person can cope with any emotional state if at that moment he uses his mind and intellect.

5. Uncontrollable excitement is the result of a lack or neglect of development.

It also means that any event, action or person can have power over you. Only realizing this, a person is able to see his mistakes and correct them.