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How to change your thoughts to positive ones. How to change your mindset

Your thoughts and desires are indeed powerful. By changing your thinking in a positive way, you can change the world around you. But on the other hand, if you wallow in your old thoughts, they will destroy you, numb you, make you suffer and, instead of pushing you forward towards happiness and a positive way of thinking, stop your spiritual growth. In this article, I'm going to talk about seven harmful ways of thinking that I've struggled with in the past, and what I've done to deal with them, or at least lessen their impact. I hope you find something useful in this article.

The world we have created is a product of our thinking, this world cannot be changed without changing thinking.

© Albert Einstein

1. You see the world in black and white

Instead of seeing life for what it is - messy, full of various exceptions from the rules - you see everything in black or white. You are right, and someone else is wrong. Everything is either this or that, and there are no exceptions or halftones.

With this approach it is difficult to see true meaning happening and doing the right thing. This way of looking at life will make you less and less flexible over time. You will fall into its trap and thus become terribly picky and unfair to yourself and other people. By erecting hindrances in consciousness and in life, you will be unhappy and will suffer much more than necessary.

How to deal with it?

Try to understand the interlocutor. Standing up for yourself is easy. But you can understand the other person, and for one and yourself, if you try to perceive his point of view. Thus, there will be less hostility and negativity in your relationship, and you will more easily reach an understanding in which both parties will be satisfied with the solution to the problem.

Be aware of what's happening. If you are aware of what is happening and pay attention to all the events of the day, you, as well as following the other tips in this article, will be able to change your thoughts and gain new thinking.

Find exceptions. If you suddenly have the thought that you don't like the way you study, or that your family doesn't help you with household chores, then stop for a few seconds before getting really angry. Then ask yourself: is it always like this? Find one or more exceptions to those thoughts in black and white that eat you up. For example, you may remember that your husband or wife spends a lot of time cooking or doing repairs. Or remember that, although you need to pull up mathematics, you write quite competently and make progress in geography.

2. You look for problems even when there are none.

It's all very confusing. I used to catch myself looking for problems where they were not actually expected. It seems to me that a lot of this happens when you cling to an old worldview. Over the years, I've gotten used to seeing more negativity everywhere than there really is and finding problems when there aren't any. Consciousness is accustomed to this way of thinking, and you act accordingly. And sometimes you suddenly catch yourself thinking that you are looking for a problem in some situation or area of your life, where it actually does not exist.

How to deal with it?

What really helped me was the phrase I wrote in a conspicuous place: “There is no problem”, which every day from the wall reminded me of this.

Now, if I start to be overwhelmed by thoughts of a problem, I say to myself: I don’t care! In most cases, I begin to realize that in the long run this problem does not exist at all.

I also think that the cause of this phenomenon may be too much thinking of a person about the development of his personality or about the need to work towards personal development. You are so accustomed to looking for solutions that your mind is wired to look for problems that these solutions can remove. This is excellent material for personal development, but read and think about it in moderation, not all day long.

3. You are afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

If you are always thinking about how to feel and be truly safe, it is impossible to change your life in better side. Uncertainty and change are uncomfortable and frighten the imagination because human consciousness tuned to ensure a stable existence and to ensure that a person as possible lived longer the way it lives.

How to deal with it?

Take small steps. Often our comfort zone does not allow us to leave fear or the expectation that, faced with this fear, we will not be able to overcome it. Taking small steps, we expand our comfort zone and gradually remove the feeling of discomfort and fear.

Pay close attention to your positive experiences. Realize that stepping out of your comfort zone will be exciting, despite what your mind and feelings tell you before taking action. Look back at those examples from your life when you broke out of your comfort zone. Emphasize positive memories of what brought you success, when you were able to take advantage of the opportunities provided. And, probably, you will understand that there was nothing terrible about it, in fact it was interesting and exciting, it was a new experience for you.

4. You think your current feelings are what they really are.

I used to think - what I feel in currently, is something permanent. This is how you actually perceive at the moment the world and will take it in the near future. However, in reality it is difficult to predict how you will feel in an hour or even in fifteen minutes. Your consciousness is deceiving you, passing off the emotions that you are now feeling as the true reality. This approach hinders your true perception.

How to deal with it?

Remember discipline and use it to the fullest. For example, you don't feel like going to the gym today. Your consciousness tells you: “Everything is fine, you don’t need it at all, because you were there only three days ago.” And you keep lying on the couch. But you can say to yourself, "No, I have a practice session today and I'm going to go, even if I don't feel like going or even if I don't feel the need to." And you go. And after you have been in the gym for fifteen minutes, you begin to enjoy the workout and are glad that you came.

Just be aware that your mind does not always demand what is actually the right decision for you. In our Everyday life consciousness often tries to find the easiest way. It turns out that it may seem: what you feel in this moment- this is reality But, despite this, emotions are fleeting and in just a few minutes or hours you can change them by doing what you don’t want to do - for example, going to the gym.

5. You think you already know everything.

If you think that you already know everything, your mind will not work to study the problem. No matter what you are told, consciousness will rely on what you think you know. You only hear and learn only what you want to hear and what you want to learn.

How to deal with it?

Whenever you are about to learn something new, it is recommended to temporarily forget what you already know and what you are familiar with. Try to keep your mind as open as possible. From my own experience, I can say that thanks to this approach, the process of obtaining new knowledge is simplified and important information is not rejected.

Of course, your ego often wants to wall off and protect itself by making you think you already know everything you're about to learn. You need to be vigilant and not trust your somewhat presumptuous and arrogant inner voice.

6. Envy haunts you and it poisons your life.

Envy can be like a small demon that sits on your shoulder and whispers something in your ear, fills your soul with gnashing of teeth and brings suffering and negativity into your life. Or envy can annoy and confuse you from time to time.

How to deal with it?

When you start comparing, focus on yourself. Comparing what you have with what others have is the path of self-destruction. Your ego gets blown up when you buy a more expensive car, if you have a more prestigious job, or something like that. For a while you feel just great. But this way of thinking and focusing on comparison leads to the fact that you begin to notice that there are people who have more than you. Such people have an even more expensive car and an even more prestigious job. And you don't feel so confident anymore. The whole point is that there will always be a person who has more than you. And you can never "win". You just feel "high" for a while, and then that feeling goes away. Most The best way Comparison is when you compare yourself to yourself. Look to what extent you have grown and what you have already achieved. Appreciate what you have done and what you have. Look back at the path you have already traveled and compare it with what you are going to do. This approach will bring more positive thoughts and greater emotional resilience as you no longer compare yourself to others and envy what others have and you don't.

Be grateful for what you have. In addition to comparing yourself to yourself, it will also be useful to thank God every day for what you have and thus get rid of envy. Take a couple of minutes during your day to express gratitude for all that you have. At the beginning or end of the day, mentally make a list of what you have, or write it down in your diary.

Change your lifestyle. If you think that life is passing you by and you deserve better, it's no wonder you get depressed. Just if you fill your life with more interesting activity, more interesting people and more interesting events, you will not have time and reason to feel envy. By changing your lifestyle, you also get other benefits: relaxation and not overreacting to trifles. After all, you devote more time not to analyzing life, but to life itself and use it the way you want.

7. Too many thoughts

I used to think too much. This is a kind of chronic disease that prevents you from performing certain actions, because you analyze the little things that, because of this, appear in your mind as big and terrible. In addition, too much thought leads to a negative perception of reality.

And yet, I managed to reduce the excessive number of thoughts in my life, or even completely get rid of this excess. Of course, the ego took time; but, on the other hand, you have to be in the company of your thoughts day in and day out, so you can always work to improve the relationship between you and them.

How to deal with it?

How did I manage to deal with it? Probably the most important thing was that I devoted most of my time during my personal development year to reading and listening to books by Eckhart Tolle, such as What the Silence Says, new earth and "The sun will also die", and develop the habit of living in the moment.

I listened to these books over and over again on my MP3 player while walking, on the bus, or in any other situation where I could. It was convenient in two ways: I focused my attention on the author's advice and during the day they were spinning in my head, so it was easier for me to become aware of my thinking pattern. In this way, Tolle had a positive impact on my daily life. This is how your friend can influence your life with their positive or negative attitude, their energy or purposefulness.

Through constant practice, it is much easier to reduce excessive thoughts and use thinking as a tool, not to let it control you.

An effective way to realign yourself in the present moment and get rid of the excessive amount of thoughts that are swarming in your head is breath. Just sit with your eyes closed for two minutes, if you feel like it, and breathe deeply, drawing the air into your belly. During these two minutes, fully concentrate on inhaling and exhaling. Such an exercise will bring the mind and body into a peaceful state, and at that moment you will return to the opening life here and now.

Set short deadlines for making decisions. Others very useful technique is the establishment of short time frames for decision-making. Instead of thinking about a problem for days, imagine that you, for example, have only half an hour to think about it. After that, you must make a decision.

I also use even shorter timeframes when it comes to small daily tasks. I don't sit and think about the decisions I need to make when it comes to doing classes, phone call, tasting a new dish or anything else that I kind of don't feel like doing. And I discard all thoughts, make a decision within 10-30 seconds and begin to implement it.

I realized that in this way you can become more decisive and not fall under the paralyzing influence of overthinking.

There are two types of thinking: ambivalent and black and white.

People with black and white thinking know exactly what is good and what is bad. They quickly make their choice, prone to firm decisions that they do not rethink. Therefore, black and white thinking makes the world easier.

Ambivalent (gray) thinking is the ability to see a situation from several sides at once. A person who knows how to think ambivalently can take the opponent's position and look at the problem from his point of view. As much as ambivalent thinking makes us, it is very useful. After all, only those who learn to move into the "grey zone" will become smarter and wiser.

Gray thinking can be learned. After all, each of us initially had the skill of ambivalent thinking when we were small.

Kids do it like this

They love to torment their parents with questions. The chain of "why" can be endless.

- Why did the dog stick out his tongue and breathe?

- She's hot.

- Why? I'm hot, but I didn't stick out my tongue.

- Yes, but the dog has fur and doesn't sweat.

Why does a dog have fur?

- To keep her warm.

Why don't I have wool?

- All right, that's enough!

Parents will surely recognize this dialogue: such conversations with children happen often. For a child, the world is not black and white, and he easily tries everything on himself. So much more unknown. There are no foundations, there are no unambiguous truths. The outlook has not yet been formed.

How the world turns black and white

As we grow older, our views become more rigid. We are imposed from the outside certain limits. For example, students are asked to take exams that consist of test questions. It forces us to think in black and white. The correct answer is always A, B, C or D, otherwise it does not happen.

The main symptom of such a worldview is thinking in certain categories:

War is bad. War is good.
Capitalism is bad. Capitalism is good.
Higher education necessary. Higher education is a waste of time.

Growing up, we think in slogans. They replace our understanding of the problem, the process of thinking itself. After all, in order to think, you need to strain. And when it is clear what is black and what is white, there is no need to think.

Is it bad to have firm convictions?

No, not bad. But real world not black and white. It is very difficult to find a question to which you could give the only correct answer. Our life is a gray area.

It is very difficult to accept this: in schools and universities we are taught to believe that there are right and wrong answers. And only when faced with reality, we begin to suspect that the world is not so simple.

Clear answers-slogans no longer fit. If you know history well, you will not be able to unequivocally state that war is bad. Most likely, now you will say: "War is bad, but at some stages of the development of the state it was necessary, so it can be considered a complex and ambiguous phenomenon."

From this answer it becomes clear that you are not inclined to jump to conclusions. Ambivalent thinking is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can spend ages choosing between kefir and fermented baked milk. On the other hand, you have the ability to see the world from multiple perspectives and judge more wisely.

How to learn ambivalent thinking

Learning to think ambivalently is quite difficult, especially if you are prone to radical judgments. But it will help to see the situation from all sides and not rush to conclusions. Therefore, it is still worth learning gray thinking, and here's how to do it.

1. Stop judging the world harshly

2. Put the event or phenomenon into perspective

Consider phenomena, events and concepts in terms of time. Determine their significance, taking into account both the good and the bad.

3. Accept that you are not always right.

Accept the enemy's point of view. Try to believe that he knows the truth and you don't.

4. Accustom yourself to the fact that the truth is ambiguous

Look at the problem from all angles. Accept a different opinion. Remember how, and try to take at least a step towards ambivalent thinking.

If you are prone to negative thinking, then you may feel that this is an innate quality that drives you throughout your life. It is this mistaken behavior that drags many people down, as they allow negative thoughts to ruin their mood.

In fact, negative thinking is a habit that can be challenged and changed through knowledge, strategies, and behavior. Once we understand the reason for our negativity and change how we perceive the situation, we can develop a more positive outlook that will provide huge benefits in our personal and professional lives.

6 Ways You Can Change Negative Thinking

So, here are six simple and powerful ways to help you stop negative thinking and develop more positive behavioral habits.

Develop the right sleep cycle for you

Negative thinking is a symptom of depression, and it is often exacerbated by lack of sleep or irregular sleep cycles. The link between negativity, depression and sleep disturbance has been explored in many studies. For example, in 2005, American researchers found that patients with depression or anxiety tended to sleep less than six hours each night.

In order to negate your negativity, make sure you get a good rest. You should definitely develop a healthy and sustainable sleep cycle for yourself. This will help you achieve eight hours of sleep a day, thus creating a routine that helps you get up to work every morning.

Write down your negative thoughts

The problem with negative thoughts is that they tend to be unformed and ambiguous in our minds. This means that they are difficult to identify or eliminate using verbal thinking. They can also hide the true source of our fear, so it is very important to process them and understand their meaning.

The best way to achieve this is to write down negative thoughts in a diary, translating them into words and giving them a physical meaning. Start writing them down quickly and casually, focusing on expressing yourself rather than getting the sentence right. After you write them down on paper, start identifying them. specific meaning or general themes.

This process can also help you develop the habit of expressing your thoughts in an open manner, which will make it easier to manage relationships and resolve interpersonal problems.

Stop going to extremes

Life is far from black and white, and many rational people take this into account in their daily thinking process. But the same cannot be said about those people who are prone to negativity. They tend to go to extremes and imagine the worst situation when faced with a problem.

Unfortunately, this makes it difficult to capture the subtle nuances of life and take into account the positive aspects that can be seen in any situation.

With that in mind, you don't have to change your extremely negative thinking style to a completely positive one at all. Instead, consider the various positive and negative possibilities that exist in any situation in life and create a list to guide your thought processes. This will allow your brain to instantly look for alternatives in case of extreme negativity without forcing you to suddenly change the way you think.

Act on facts, not assumptions

Negative thinking makes you unable to deal with any kind of uncertainty. Therefore, when you find yourself in a stressful or unfamiliar situation that has a potentially negative outcome, you begin to anticipate events and try to solve the problem without taking into account any significant facts. This can be described as mind reading, which is likely to encourage further negativity.

This problem can be easily solved by changing the behavior. The first step is to collect facts and details related to the situation and use them to make an informed decision. You must start with a script and specify everything logical explanations in order of their importance. Use pen and paper, or verbal reflection. For example, if your friend didn't immediately reply to a message, there could be many reasons for this. He may have run out of battery, he may have a meeting at work, or the phone is on silent and the message simply has not been read.

By listing these realistic explanations, you can avoid the temptation to identify negative outcomes and react impulsively. Over time, experience will also teach you that logical and reasonable explanations are always more likely than the worst-case scenarios that pop into your head.

Pay attention to the positive and accept it

One of the main problems with negative thinking is that it is with you all the time, even when the situation has a positive outcome. This can minimize the positive outcome and the impact it has on you, or it can prevent you from seeing the positive in your life.

Let's say you get a raise, but it's slightly lower than some of your co-workers. Instead of focusing solely on this one negative moment, it's much better to think about exactly what you got. It is also important to recognize the fact that some employees have received even less than your raise, or have nothing. This way of thinking puts perspective in any situation and allows facts to counteract negative thoughts.

The key here is perception, that you see negative phenomena as temporary and specific, rather than as permanent and all-encompassing. Learn to balance your negative thoughts with contrasting positive ones. This will allow you to get in the habit of seeing perspective much more often.

Rethink all the circumstances and look for the positive

There are situations in which both positive and negative effects can be clearly identified. But there are others that can be instantly perceived as negative. This is the worst nightmare for those who are prone to negative thinking, as they are faced with a situation that feeds their pessimistic mindset and does not offer an immediate way out.

Suppose you are at an airport and your flight is delayed. This is a negative scenario that makes you panic and consider opportunities that you might miss out on because of it.

You can solve this situation if you start actively looking for the positive. It is important to re-examine the current situation and reconsider the perceived problem as a potential opportunity. So, instead of focusing on what you might be missing out on, why not list other things you can achieve while waiting for your flight? You can, for example, finish important work or enjoy a sudden rest. This will distract you from negative thoughts, as you will begin to look for positive aspects and optimize your time.

Conclusion

Negative thinking is bad for every aspect of our lives. With the help of these little secrets, you can finally get off the ground and start seeing the world around you in a color other than gray and black.

Greetings, dear readers. Everyone knows that a positive attitude and faith in yourself and your strengths is one of the important conditions on the way to achieving our goals. Let's see how to change thinking so that it helps, and does not hinder the receipt of what we are so striving for.

Embarking on the path of knowledge, or wishing to resolve a difficult life situation, we often turn to psychologists, esotericists, clergymen for help. And we discover one vital law for ourselves: only we are responsible for all events in our life. Gradually comes the realization: you can change your life by changing the train of thought.

Where to start, how to change thinking? There are a lot of ways. First of all, you need to learn to be aware in moments of experiencing emotions.

Our feelings are mostly reflex. We are offended by some actions, others make us happy, and we are indifferent to others. Feeling a change in mood, try to determine what exactly you are experiencing: sadness, irritation, anxiety? Think about it, what is the benefit of this feeling? Why is it? Can it be replaced with something else? For example, not to be offended, but to sympathize with the offender: how did he get it in his life, since he comes off on someone.

If you think about it, you can find something good in any situation. They say: "there is no evil without good." One has only to switch attention and see the other side.

Fixation on good

The method is as follows: when positive emotions, you need to artificially prolong them. That is, consciously re-experiencing pleasant moments. At least twenty seconds every day. Build on your small and especially big victories.

It’s even better to take a beautiful notebook and write down all your brightest and most joyful moments of life there, which brought you especially strong positive emotions - made you feel joy, happiness, moments of delight or jubilation. Open this notebook daily in the morning and at night before going to bed, and as you reread it, you will relive all these experiences and pleasant moments again and again. Thus, you force your consciousness to focus more often on positive events and feelings, and therefore there will be more and more of them in your life.

Neutralization of the negative

Everyone understands that cleanliness can be achieved in two ways: to clean more often and not to litter. Negative thoughts litter our minds in the same way as garbage clutters our house. If you feel angry or sad, mentally imagine what this feeling is like: poisonous fog or rotten fish? And THIS is what you are going to keep in your soul? If everything is in order with your imagination, try turning the image into something pleasant, for example, into a sunbeam.

Another way to switch from negative thoughts to positive:

Take a sheet of paper and a pen. At the top write:

"I thank life for..."

And list everything that is in your life that you can be grateful to life or God for right now. For example, health, well-being, your home, food on the table, for loved ones next to you, for sunlight and a bright clear sky above your head. Yes, all these seem to be familiar and ordinary things, but it is important to remember that you should be grateful for them, because not everyone has it.

Purification of the soul

It is best to get rid of the accumulated spiritual rubbish from a specialist: a priest or a psychologist. If this is not possible, keep a diary where you write down everything bad: your thoughts, events, actions, for which you are ashamed. Then destroy the records. You can take a piece of paper, write everything that worries you, upsets you, and weighs on it, and then burn it. Let everything that was written on that sheet leave you with fire. It is especially effective to do this early in the morning or before going to bed.

inspirational lighthouses

It's hard to change alone. But everything will become easier, it is worth discovering a person who has coped with the trouble and is ready to share his experience. You can read inspiring biographies, and it is better if these are training books, of which there are a lot. Here is just an incomplete list of authors who not only went through difficult life tests, but also showed the way to other people: