Comic horoscope for the hero of the day from the Astronomer predictor. Table horoscope: how different Zodiac Signs behave at the festive table
Each holiday is good and interesting in its own way. But usually at any holiday it all comes down to the fact that almost 99% of the attention is paid to the hero of the occasion: the hero of the day or the newlyweds or the birthday man. But what about the guests? They came to have fun and have fun! We have not forgotten about them, and have prepared an interesting game block: a comic astrological forecast for guests on the anniversary. This forecast can be presented in different ways. The most obvious option is the exit of an astrologer who reads out his forecast for each guest or zodiac sign. A gypsy can also come out, but then questions arise - why is a gypsy so smart that she understands astrology? Therefore, a gypsy in such a block would not be very appropriate. The third option is to read astrological forecast the leader himself. This is in case there is no way to make a scene with dressing up. There may be other options, but they are not so obvious. How to show this number is up to you. Below we will provide you with some joke predictions that you can use on anniversaries.
Comic horoscope 1.
The first version of the comic horoscope is written by the guests themselves. Everything is quite simple, but interesting. Everyone knows the game called - missed adjectives. And in this game, we will skip the names of the guests. You need to come up with a prediction that doesn't have names. Then, at the celebration, you ask the hero of the day to name in turn the names of all the guests who are present at the celebration. And enter the names in the forecast in turn. Next, read what happened.
An example of an email with omitted guest names:
“Today (the date of the anniversary, the stars predict us a great festive evening! It will end differently for everyone, but everyone will be happy. At 19 o’clock, Jupiter will eclipse the sun and at this time (guest’s name) will go to rest under the table. Two minutes later, when the sun will come out from under the shadow of Jupiter (guest's name) will join the rest under the table.
At 19.25 the moon will appear in the sky. At the same minute (guest's name) with the words - I'm going to sleep! - falls face down in a plate of salad. When the Ursa Minor appears in the sky, then (guest's name) will start looking for a warm place to rest and will find it on a large and cozy chest (guest's name).
As soon as the clock strikes 20 o'clock, a musical pause will begin. And (guest name) will be the first to enter the dance floor and show a master class. After his dance (guest name) shouting - Bravo! - will run out onto the stage and arrange a wild dance with striptease elements. When (guest's name) sees this, he will scream - my God! This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life!
In twenty minutes. When the big bear appears in the sky, the dancing guests will calm down and sit down in their seats. At the same time, (guest's name) will shout loudly - I demand the continuation of the banquet! - he will drink a glass of vodka and gently lay his head on the table, as if on a pillow.
The evening will end with the fact that all the stars will appear in the sky, and under their influence (guest's name), together with (guest's name), they will sing a duet song - Mom Lyuda, come on, come on, come on! And the rest of the guests will shoot them on their phones to show the clip tomorrow morning and mock them!”
Here's an option you can try. You can change the text or create your own. It is important to remember here that all people are different, and if you know that someone may be offended, then it is better not to enter his name in the forecast.
Comic forecast 2.
The next forecast for guests is the morning after the holiday. This forecast is called - a hangover forecast!
So, Dear guests! A moment of attention. Today we all walk and have fun. But none of you thinks about the consequences, does not think about what will happen tomorrow morning with each of you. But our astrologer already knows everything, and will tell you about what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning.
Aries - the morning will start very badly for you. Approaching the mirror, you will see that your rounded horns have straightened out and prevent you from passing through the doors.
Taurus - do not think that if you drank activated charcoal before the holiday, then everything will be fine with you. You will still see this coal, and you will understand that everything is very bad.
Gemini - don't be surprised, but in the morning you will wake up with a person who looks exactly like you!
Crayfish - and you will learn to quickly crawl backwards from each glass, remembering tonight and your cries - pour, drink!
Lions - in the morning you will let out such a roar that the neighbors each neighbor will bring you bottles of cold mineral water.
Virgo - do not go to the mirror in the morning. Otherwise, you risk not recognizing yourself and fainting out of fear.
Libra - tomorrow morning will begin with the fact that you will weigh and figure out how much a normal person can drink, and how much you drank.
Scorpio - as soon as you wake up, immediately hangover. Otherwise, you will sting everyone all day with your sting.
Sagittarius - it is better to leave money in advance for tomorrow. Otherwise, you will shoot them at passers-by on a hangover.
Capricorns - in the morning a surprise awaits you - you will have new horns.
Aquarius - in the morning you will have guests who want to continue the banquet with you.
Pisces - and you will be ashamed of tonight and your behavior. All tomorrow you will be silent like a fish.
Horoscope 3.
And this horoscope is the shortest in the world! But this makes it even funnier and the guests will definitely like it. And so, let's look:
Horoscope 4.
And this is a rather bold horoscope, it is erotic! But nevertheless funny and the guests will like it. To make this horoscope go with a bang. Do this:
- name the sign of the zodiac and guests under this sign come to you. Romantic music turns on, they dance, and then you read out the horoscope:
Horoscope 5.
And another horoscope - alcohol!
The same can be done in a special way. You name the sign of the zodiac and the guests under this sign get up. They pour glasses and you read their horoscope, after which these guests drink. It turns out interesting and funny:
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Even those who do not believe in horoscopes know that they themselves were born, for example, under the sign of Aries, the wife is a stubborn Telchikha, and close friend- Twin. Congratulating on your birthday, consider the horoscope, the birthday man will be pleased. Today we offer you comic
congratulations on the signs of the zodiac.
ARIES - never guilty of anything.
Aries always run ahead of the locomotive. They are active, dynamic and not prone to pessimism. In our active time, Aries is simply ideal! Let's raise our glasses "to the furious and recalcitrant!" For Aries!
Man:
Everyone knows - stubborn Aries,
All conventions amended,
Even if guilty
Still repeats: "I'm right!".
He is persistent, fearless,
He controls the fire.
Let our fiery lamb
Will break through all the walls with his forehead!
Woman:
Aries is a fire sign
It's hot for everyone when you're around.
Like fire, beckoning to myself
You burn even with a glance.
Warmed everyone, charmed,
Giving magical light.
We drink to make you shine
Brighter than others - up to a hundred years!
TAURUS - the blacksmith of his happiness.
Taurus - solid, stable, reliable. He is full of earthly charm, sensitively reacts to the beauty of flowers, smells and nature in general. Comfortably equips your home or summer cottage. At the birthday of Taurus or Telchikha, it is worth raising a toast to earthly beauty! And for the owner (hostess) - her embodiment!
Man:
Taurus is calm and confident
His way of life is measured.
He is in life for any business
It is taken simply and skillfully.
So let's raise a toast to Taurus -
Good luck blacksmith!
Woman:
Telchikha - hostess
She always has
Cooking in a warm kitchen
Tasty food.
Not in order
She has comfort
Legs just by themselves
They are going to visit her!
For my dear hostess
For a cozy home
Let's drink one by one -
And pour again!
(To be continued…)
Congratulations on the signs of the zodiac. Part 4
Svetlana Burtseva
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Let's drink to the archer - a daring young man.
Sagittarians are people of high spirituality, Don Quixotes of our days. They are always ready to stand up for the truth and defend the weak. They love to help and give advice. And nothing that advice is sometimes stupid, and help confuses things even more. The main thing is that Sagittarius has a clean and noble heart. With him, you should always be ready to go to the ends of the world and on crazy feats! Sagittarius birthday toast: “For justice! For the height of the spirit!
man
Everyone knows that Sagittarius -
born fighter!
He stands boldly
noblest deed.
Everyone loves and honors him -
He's almost like Robin Hood.
Or even William Tell -
hits right on target!
Let all things be
more than ok
let every arrow
hit the top ten!
woman
Everyone knows that Archer
manages her husband dashingly -
because such a woman
like an amazon!
We do not discredit the Archer,
but we want to wish her
so that she could at least at night
hide your bow under the bed!
Capricorn - live without worries!
Capricorn is an earthy, realistic sign. He is able to climb the career ladder, win a strong position in society. Women often become business women. And if not, then they certainly occupy a strong position as the head of the house. With Capricorn you will be comfortable and safe! A toast at Capricorn's birthday: "For confidence in the future!"
man
How many life paths
before you, Capricorn!
You are an earthly sign, and your step is firm,
you can be proud of yourself!
So be calm like a yogi
live without grief and worries!
We drink - so that you are not deceived,
so that all friends are true.
May the horns never become
a gift from your wife!
woman
Let it be, Koeeerochka,
your path is easy
let whatever you want
then at the same moment it comes true!
Run easy like a goat
and do not be afraid of worries
let your life be like a rose
Blooms in the middle of winter!
Aquarius-
pour us some more!
Aquarians are extremely fond of talking, fantasizing, pouring out their souls. He is active: one idea is embodied, another is on the way, the third is in reserve. Intelligence is a strong trait of Aquarius. These are refined aesthetes and deep thinkers. A toast at the birthday of Aquarius: "For intelligence and beauty!"
man
Your patron, Aquarius,
looks at us from the air.
Pour it stronger, don't be sorry -
because there is a wonderful toast!
For giving life
us a waterfall of miracles,
so that the summer rain spilled
only joy from heaven!
Let the shadow not darken
the path of your destiny
for a summer downpour on a winter day
we'll drink, Aquarius!
woman
My sweet talker
you words - that water - you pour!
We're coming to you my friend
as without an umbrella - in the rain.
On this holiday, Aquarius,
pity our ears
and something stronger
pour without hesitation!
Dreamy Pisces could do so much...
Pisces are gentle and impressionable natures. They are ready to feel sorry for everyone, to sympathize with everyone. Emotions for Pisces are the main thing. They rarely swim against the current and usually live in their own parallel world far from the ordinary. This world is full of beauty and tenderness. Do not destroy the dreams and illusions of Pisces! Toast on their name day? Of course: "For the realization of a dream!"
man
Happy swimming Fish - in the river,
and in the sea, and in the lake, and in the ocean!
If you want - then in milk,
If it works out - even in nirvana!
Swim through life, swim freely
let your dreams come true!
Just don't try to dive in alcohol -
sharks and even whales drown in it.
woman
Dreamy Pisces
so much could.
But only reluctance
raise their fin.
I raise my glass
and I proclaim a toast
for Rybka to succeed
suddenly become gold!
Congratulations on the signs of the zodiac. Part 3
Svetlana Burtseva
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Lion and lioness - king and queen
Leo is an extremely ambitious sign. The only thing he wants from the world is flattery, flattery and flattery! In the rays of universal admiration, Leo simply bathes. Praise him - and he will be capable of many things: he will help, and console, and save, and lend money. Have you already understood? On the birthday of a Leo or a Lioness, there can be only one toast: “To our incomparable! Unsurpassed! The only one!
Man:
Let everyone know - Leo
there are rights to the kingdom!
Who dares - he owns.
He can! He can!
All difficulties are corrected,
taking over the whole world,
let it be forever right
our fire lion!
Woman:
luxurious purr-Lioness,
you can be proud of yourself!
You were born to reign, captivate,
and rule and subdue!
So let you, my queen,
the whole world in love will submit!
Virgo - Harvest Queen!
Virgo is a rational, critical, analytical sign. He appreciates accuracy and (oddly enough!) sense of humor. most of all, he values intelligence - and loves that this quality is noted with reverence in him. So, a toast on Virgo's birthday: “To a brilliant mind! For wisdom! For the critical talent that helps us all get better!” Virgos value health and a rational lifestyle. They take toasts “to health” seriously. So do not skimp on the wishes of such a plan!
man
September and August - Virgin servants -
we are given a generous harvest,
and therefore, for their merits
collect rewards generously!
Everywhere, in everything, be only the first,
let all people honor you.
Queen of the Harvest - Virgo
reward you for your hard work!
Woman:
Simple, confident
you are following your destiny.
Always ready to give advice
you radiate a soft light.
May our Virgin be saved
Lord from all kinds of insults, -
give the heart joy and peace,
throws money away with a vengeance.
We wish her to be healthy
And don't forget about friends!
Scales - amazing beauty.
Scales - charming, sexy, liberated. They put aesthetics at the forefront, beauty is the main thing for them. Elegance in everything and attractiveness for everyone - this is what you should emphasize in your toast. The scales are inconsistent. They try to weigh everything once and for all and at the same time forever hesitate. Raise your glasses for decisiveness and correctness, maybe this will inspire the hero of the day to an important act for him.
man
You don't know fear in life
you were able to weigh everything on the scales,
you know exactly what
you are going the right way.
We wish everything to come true
so that it goes according to plan - like clockwork,
to never be wrong
Fortune exact Libra!
woman
You are made of vibrations
from unjustified doubts,
you are all a hint and expectation,
love and happiness gentle genius.
Yes, only Libra women
such exquisite beauty!
So let's drink, angel of beauty,
so that all dreams come true!
Scorpio is a burning passion champion!
Scorpio is a mystical person. This man is torn apart by passions. He
hurts himself and hurts others. The adventurous vein in Scorpio is very strong, he loves adventure and danger. It is extremely rare to make concessions, his motto is "What is mine is mine." And most importantly: a Scorpio woman is a femme fatale. Scorpio male is simply irresistible in the eyes of the opposite sex. But be careful! They love to play with other people. A toast at Scorpio's birthday: "For the triumph of love!"
man
We hear from all sides:
“What a darling - Scorpio!
He is bright and smart
and a champion in bed!
And - when he gets itchy -
impossible to achieve! »
Let it pass all obstacles
May he achieve happiness!
BUT ... Let your own poison
Watch out for Scorpio!
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Geminis are inspired creators.
On the birthday of your friend Gemini, remember that the sun of Russian poetry, Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin, was also born under the sign of Gemini. Gemini is an enthusiastic, super-sociable, creative nature. This - air sign. He is changeable like the wind. Have you guessed why we raise our glasses? For creativity! For change! For the unknown!
Man:
Promises inspiration
Air sign - twins
These are the geniuses of communication,
These are creators of joy!
Humanity's crown
Pushkin was also a Gemini!
If you were born a Gemini,
don't hit your face in the dirt!
Woman:
It's like the wind in my head,
then, suddenly calm and modest.
Although I clearly see that you are alone,
but sometimes it seems there are two of you.
You change all the time
enchanting body and soul.
So be like this for many years
unbelievably beautiful!
Cancer - drinking beer is not a fool.
Native tradition combines cancer with beer. It makes sense. Cancer really loves to eat and understands cooking. However, this zodiac sign not a flat primitive creature at all. On the contrary!\ Cancer is one of the most sensitive signs of the Zodiac! This is a dreamer. And a very touchy dreamer! Beware of hurting his impressionable soul!
And our toast will sound like this: “For the world of dreams, harmony and beauty! It is in him that the crayfish reside, rejecting the rough reality.
Man:
Cancer - there is no soulful sign,
he is happy to serve his friends.
Away from Cancer Beer
hard to imagine for us.
Let's raise our glass, love
and clink glasses in Russian
we will call you for beer
not as an appetizer!
woman
You laugh, and then suddenly - silent.
You attract men like that,
but at the last moment you retreat,
our shy cute Rachok.
We wish now with excitement,
so that over the years you are more beautiful,
so that, having given up his shyness,
boldly took the joys of life!
Leading:
Dear guests, an astronomer came to us today, a predictor who made a forecast for next year, designed for our hero of the day, based on the stars.
Requisites, attributes: white bathrobe, a folder of books under the arm, a telescope in hand and a poster-congratulation-prediction for the coming year for the hero of the day. The prediction and the poster are printed out, and the text can not be memorized, but simply read from a sheet.
Astronomer:
Hello dear guests and our unsurpassed hero of the day.
In the previous month, I was working on the horoscope (NAME).
The location of the nearby planets Mars and Venus, and the unusual cycle of our sun, prompted me to predict.
After careful determinations of degrees between the Moon and other planets solar system, according to the existing pattern, the spiral cyclicity has developed an accurate and individual prediction for our (NAME).
A busy work schedule will bring a little discord in family relationships. Virgo's behavior has been irritating their partners for some time now. Virgos are used to controlling their loved ones, constantly teaching and being jealous. Relationships will cool down on this basis, which can lead to parting ....
Leading:
Dear guests, today an astronomer, a fortune teller, came to us, who made a forecast for the next year, intended for our hero of the day, based on the stars.
Details, attributes: a white coat, a folder of books under the arm, a telescope in hand and a poster-congratulation-prediction for the coming year for the hero of the day. The prediction and the poster are printed out, and the text can not be memorized, but simply read from a sheet.
Astronomer:
Hello dear guests and our unsurpassed hero of the day.
In the previous month, I was working on the horoscope (NAME).
The location of the nearby planets Mars and Venus, and the unusual cycle of our sun, prompted me to predict.
After careful determination of the degrees between the Moon and other planets of the solar system, according to the existing pattern, spiral cyclicity, an accurate and individual prediction for our (NAME) has developed.
A busy work schedule will bring a little discord in family relationships. Virgo's behavior has been irritating their partners for some time now. Virgos are used to controlling their loved ones, constantly teaching and being jealous. Relationships will cool down on this basis, which can lead to parting ....
This cheerful comic horoscope Today, according to the signs of the zodiac, you can use it every day. Open this page daily in the morning, and good mood for the whole day guaranteed in full!
And for everyone who believes in happiness, we recommend reading our happy eastern horoscope by year of birth with the recommendations of poet astrologers. All our serious and funny horoscopes are written especially for the site "Favorite Holiday". Share them with your friends, put links, but respect our authors - do not reprint our horoscopes. Thank you.
Cool boring horoscope for today for Aries
Be active and determined.
First, try to recharge.
So that your labors are not wasted in vain, remember: if people are valued for their work, then a horse is better than any person.
Cool boring horoscope for today for Taurus
Be careful. Think before you do anything.
Measure seven times and only then cut eight times.
For the seventy-first time, you will succeed.
The stars are not advised to kiss the secretary in the presence of his wife.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Gemini
New things are waiting for you.
Remember: even the most stupid idea can be masterfully executed.
And don't be afraid to do what you don't know how to do.
After all, the ark was built by amateurs. Professionals built the Titanic.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Cancer
Life is good ... hic ... Repeat this, spreading red caviar on bread with a thick layer. Or black.
But do not rush to pour vodka.
Remember: alcohol is a time machine.
I drank - and already tomorrow.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Leo
Talk less, listen more.
It is better to be silent and grunt with pleasure.
Your income will be higher than your expenses. Because there will be no costs at all.
Get a piggy bank and grunt together.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Virgo
You will be thrown from one extreme to another.
First, the boss will call you on the carpet, and will yell like a flock of crocodiles.
In five minutes, he will offer you a position that you have been seeking for a long time.
Agree!
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Libra
You will be on a horse.
Everyone else, apparently, will have to move on foot.
You may feel out of place.
The stars are advised to break the plate, get off the horse, break the plate, get off the horse and finally change it ... for a bicycle.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Scorpio
You will have a romantic date.
Enjoy, forget about everything in the world....
When Sveta starts to go home, pretend to be asleep.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Sagittarius
Your mood will jump.
From the TV to the cabinet, from the cabinet to the table.
Try to catch him anyway.
Hold somewhere in the corner and ask: "Kolis! Who do you work for ?!"
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Capricorn
The sixth sense will not let you down. It will say: "Enough!"
The other five senses will fail.
They will say something awkward, but you will understand them.
Because a Russian person after the fifth glass is able not only to understand the Chinese language, but also to forgive it.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Aquarius
Everything will come easy to you.
Even a visit to the dentist.
At first you will be very afraid. Then it turns out that his drill broke.
But do not relax and remember: if you are happy for more than one day, then something is being hidden from you.
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Cool boring horoscope for today for Pisces
You have a creative upsurge ahead of you.
Stock up on climbing equipment in advance.
Already stocked up? .. Then full speed ahead!
To conquer the next height!... Just don't shout later"
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