Poems from the movie office romance. Office Romance (1977) How Long I Played
Bella Akhmadulina
Oh, my shy hero, you deftly avoided shame.
How long have I played a role without relying on a partner!
To your damned help
I never ran.
Among the wings, among the shadows
you were saved, invisible to the eye.
But in this shame and delirium
I walked before the cruel public -
all in trouble, all in sight, all in this lonely role.
Oh, how you cackled, parterre!
You did not forgive me the obvious
shameless of my losses, my smile harmlessness.
And greedily walked your herds
drink from my sorrow.
Alone, alone - in the midst of shame
I stand with slumped shoulders.
But the reckless crowd
the real hero is not visible.
Hero, how scared you are!
Don't be afraid, I won't betray you.
All our role is my only role.
I lost badly in it.
All our pain is my only pain.
But how much pain. How many. How many.
What do you think about... when you look at the moon?
I? - "About you ... and a little about the eternal ..."
That in this world we are not endless,
But everyone wants to find their star.
I am like little kitty, who needs to be taken by the collar, put on his knees and say: now you are mine and I will not let you go, and then I will lie down and purr gently.
You have to nullify yourself in order to be accepted and recognized, you have to become indistinguishable from the herd. If you're in the herd, you're fine. You can dream, but only if you dream like everyone else.
I don't intend to share you with anyone. You are either mine or you are free. I need someone who will have me in the lead roles. I didn't sign up for the crowd.
No matter how many words of wisdom you read, no matter how many you say, what good are they to you if you don't put them into practice?
Believe me, not a single profession in the world, nor the knowledge gained, nor a lot of money earned will replace the happiness of your loved one. Someone who doesn't care how much you earn or what your profession is. The one who does not pay attention to the bags you threw away. The one to whom you can say without hiding in front of everyone: "I love you." I've been lucky in that regard.
Do you believe in God? I did not see him…
How can you believe in something you haven't seen?
I'm sorry that I offended you
After all, you did not expect such an answer ...
I believe in money, I saw them for sure ...
I believe in a plan, in a forecast, in career growth ...
I believe in a house that was built strong...
Of course… Your answer is quite simple…
Do you believe in happiness? You didn't see him...
But your soul saw him ...
I'm sorry, I must have offended you...
Then we have one - one ... Draw ...
Do you believe in love, friendship? How about vision???
It's all at the level of the soul...
And sincerity bright moments?
Don't rush to see everything with your eyes...
Do you remember how then you hurried to a meeting,
But traffic jams… missed the plane?!
Your plane exploded that same evening
You drank and cried all day long ...
And at the moment when the wife gave birth,
And the doctor said: "I'm sorry, there is no chance ...",
Do you remember life flashed like slides
And it's like the light faded forever
But someone shouted: "Oh, God, a miracle ..."
And the cry was heard loud baby ...
You whispered: "I will believe in God"
And the soul smiled sincerely ...
There is something that the eyes cannot see
But the heart sees more clearly and clearly ...
When the soul fell in love without falsehood,
That mind objects more and more ...
Refers to pain, bitter experience,
Includes selfishness, a big "I" ...
You saw God every day and so much
How deep is your soul...
Each of us has our own path...
Faith and love are the most important...
I didn't ask you, "Have you seen God?"
I asked if I believed in him...
Don't talk to me about your spirituality, mate. I'm not that interested... Please don't talk to me about "pure awareness" or "living in the absolute."
I want to see how you feel about your partner. To your children, to your parents, to your precious body.
Please don't lecture me about the illusion of a separate "I" or how you achieved permanent bliss in just 7 days. I want to feel genuine warmth emanating from your heart. I want to hear how well you can listen. Accept information that doesn't fit with your personal philosophy. I want to see how you communicate with people who disagree with you.
Don't tell me that you are awake and free of ego. I want to know you beyond words. I want to know how you feel when misfortune overtakes you. If you can completely immerse yourself in pain and not pretend to be invulnerable. If you feel your anger, but do not go into violence. If you can calmly allow the experience of your grief without becoming a slave to it. If you can feel your shame, and not shame others. If you can screw up and admit it. If you can say sorry and really mean it. If you can be fully human in your glorious divinity.
Don't talk to me about your spirituality, mate. It's not that interesting to me. I just want to meet YOU. Know your precious heart. Understand beautiful person fighting for the light.
Before the words "about spiritual man". To all skillful words.
I'll try not to call again
Do not rave about you in the arms of the night.
And don't tell anyone else
What you need, dear, I really, really.I'll try not to write anymore
And do not shed tears, thinking that the other
Ready to kiss as eagerly
Drowning in the arms I love.I'll try not to dream anymore
After all, you're not mine, but I always wanted
So that every day and again and again
Your smile warmed my soul.I'll try not to love anymore.
There really are a lot of people like you.
But you know... never forget
You... so dear...
And you thought it was easy to come back,
Come on, let's start over, shall we?
You didn't know my tough man
How I forgot your voice.
You didn't know how I suffocated
Without you in these gray walls
I was afraid to come home
How she lived, how she was sick alone,
How I squeezed your pillow
Like a clock ticking in the dark
Good night wished you
And she didn't sleep at night.
You did not know, my unkind darling,
I am for these evil six months
Worried, loved,
And I'm not waiting for your arrival.
And I won't give in to your words
And so as not to collide
I'm leaving and you stay
You thought it was easy to come back...
August
So generously August wasted the stars.
He took possession so thoughtlessly,
and the faces of Rostovites turned
and all southerners to meet their downfall.
I kindly thank fate.
So the constellations fell on my shoulders,
how they fall in an abandoned garden
lilac untidy inflorescences.
We watched the sunset for a long time
our neighbors were angry with the keys,
to the old piano musician
bowed his sad gray hairs.
We were the sounds of music alone.
Oh, it was possible to detun the instrument,
but your consonance with me
could not be broken or destroyed.
In that autumn, the lighthouses burned so,
so far the stars lay,
sailors walked along the boulevards,
and girls in headscarves ran through.
All the same there is a fall of stars and heat,
still the coast is unchanged.
Just dropped out of the music alone
two notes played at the same time.
The old syllable attracts me.
There is charm in ancient speech.
She happens to be our words
and more modern and sharper.
Shout: "Half the kingdom for the horse!" -
what a temper and generosity!
But it will come down on me
last fervor futility.
Someday I'll wake up in the dark
forever losing the battle,
and it will come to my mind
madman of the ancient decision.
Oh, what a half kingdom for me!
A child taught by the age
I will take a horse, I will give a horse
for half a moment with a man,
Beloved by me. God be with you,
Oh my horse, my horse, zealous horse.
I'm gratuitously your reason
I will weaken - and the herd is dear
You will catch up, you will catch up there,
in the steppe empty and red.
And I'm bored with ramblings
these victories and defeats.
I feel sorry for the horse! I'm sorry love!
And in a medieval manner
lies under my feet
just a footprint left by a horseshoe.
Spell
happy beggar, good convict,
chilled in the north by a southerner,
consumptive and evil Petersburger
I live in the malarial south.
Don't cry for me - I will live
that lame-foot, who came out onto the porch,
that drunkard who penetrated the tablecloth,
and this, which paints the mother of God,
I will live as a wretched bogomaz.
Don't cry for me - I will live
that literacy taught by a girl,
which in the future is fuzzy
my poems, my red bangs,
how the fool would know. I will live.
Don't cry for me - I will live
merciful merciful sisters,
in military recklessness dying,
Yes, under the star Marina the brightest
somehow, but I'll live.
shy hero
Oh my shy hero
You cleverly avoided shame.
How long have I played the part
Not relying on a partner.
To your damned help
I never ran.
Among the wings, among the shadows
You were saved, invisible to the eye.
But in this shame and delirium
I walked before the cruel public -
Everything is in trouble, everything is in sight,
Everything in this role is lonely.
Oh, how you cackled, parterre!
You did not forgive me the obvious
Shameless of my losses
My smile is harmless.
And greedily walked your herds
Drink from my sorrow.
Alone, alone in the midst of shame
I stand with slumped shoulders.
But the reckless crowd
The real hero is not visible.
Hero, how scared you are!
Don't be afraid, I won't betray you.
All our role is my only role.
I lost badly in it.
All our pain is my only pain.
But how much pain. How many. How many!
Don't give me too much time
don't ask me questions.
With kind and faithful eyes
don't touch my hands.
Do not go through the puddles in the spring,
following my trail.
I know it won't work again
nothing from this meeting.
You think I'm out of pride
I go, I'm not friends with you?
I'm not out of pride - out of sorrow
keep my head straight.
One day, swaying on the edge
everything that is, I felt in the body
the presence of an irreparable shadow,
somewhere away from my life.
Nobody knew, only a white notebook
noticed that I blew out the candles,
kindled for the creation of speech, -
Without them, I didn't want to die.
So tormented! Came so close
to the end of agony! She didn't say a word.
And it's just a different age
searching for a fragile soul.
I began to live and will live long -
But from that time on, I am the flour of the earth
I call only that which is not sung by me,
everything else I call bliss.
Along my street which year
footsteps sound - my friends are leaving.
My friends slow departure
that darkness outside the windows is pleasing.
Running my friends deeds,
there is neither music nor singing in their houses,
and only, as before, Degas girls
pigeons straighten their feathers.
Well, well, well, let fear not wake
you, defenseless, in the middle of this night.
A mysterious passion for betrayal,
my friends, clouds your eyes.
Oh loneliness, how cool your character is!
Flashing with an iron compass,
how cold you close the circle,
not heeding the useless assurances.
So call me and reward me!
Your darling, caressed by you,
I will console myself, leaning against your chest,
I will wash with your blue cold.
Let me stand on tiptoe in your forest
at the other end of the slow gesture
find foliage, and bring it to your face,
and feel orphanhood as bliss.
Grant me the silence of your libraries,
your concerts are strict motives,
and - wise - I will forget those
who died or are still alive.
And I will know wisdom and sorrow
mine secret meaning trust me with items.
Nature leaning on my shoulders
announce his childhood secrets.
And then - from tears, from darkness,
from the poor ignorance of the past
my friends beautiful features
appear and dissolve again.
Parting
And in the end I will tell:
goodbye, do not commit to love.
I'm going crazy. I'm ascending
To high degree madness.
How did you love? you sipped
death. Not in this case.
How did you love? You ruined
but ruined so clumsily.
The cruelty of a miss... oh no
forgive you. living body,
and wanders, sees the white light,
but my body is empty.
Work a small temple
is still doing. But the hands fell
and a flock, obliquely,
smells and sounds go away.
Your house
Your house, not knowing trouble,
He met me and kissed me on the cheek.
Like a fish out of water
the service looked out of the glasses.
And the dog jumped out to me
like a little jackdaw, screaming,
and defenseless fully armed
cacti stuck out in the window.
From the troubles of all the earth
I was a cold delegate
and the house looked into my eyes
and he was kind and gentle.
On my head of shame
he did not bring on, did not give himself away.
The house swore to me that never
he did not see this woman.
He said: - I am empty, I am empty. -
I said: - Somewhere, somewhere ... -
He said: - And let. Let it go.
Come in and forget about it.
Oh how afraid I was at first
handkerchief or other sign,
but the house repeated its words,
shuffled items.
He covered her tracks.
Oh, how cleverly he pretended
that no tears fell here,
did not lean on the elbow.
Like a thorough surf
washed away everything: and shoe prints,
and that empty device
and a glove button.
Everyone agreed: the dog forgot
with whom he played, and a small carnation
did not know who beat him,
and gave me a vague answer.
So the mirrors were empty
as if the snow had fallen and melted.
Can't remember the flowers
who put them in a faceted glass ...
O foreign house! Oh sweet home!
Goodbye! I ask you for a little:
don't be so kind. Don't be so kind.
Don't comfort me with lies.
"Oh, my shy hero..." Bella Akhmadulina
Oh my shy hero
you have cleverly avoided shame.
How long have I played the part
without relying on a partner!To your damned help
I never ran.
Among the wings, among the shadows
you were saved, invisible to the eye.But in this shame and delirium
I walked before the cruel public -
everything is in trouble, everything is in sight,
everyone in this role is lonely.Oh, how you cackled, parterre!
You did not forgive me the obvious
shameful of my losses,
my smile harmlessness.And greedily walked your herds
drink from my sorrow.
Alone, alone - in the midst of shame
I stand with slumped shoulders.But the reckless crowd
the real hero is not visible.
Hero, how scared you are!
Don't be afraid, I won't betray you.All our role is my only role.
I lost badly in it.
All our pain is my only pain.
But how much pain. How many. How many.
Analysis of Akhmadulina's poem "Oh, my shy hero ..."
The poem "Oh, my shy hero" was written by Bella Akhatovna Akhmadulina (1937-2010) in 1960-1961. Knowing the biography of the poetess, we can assume that it is dedicated to her ex-husband, Yevgeny Yevtushenko, and expresses the feelings that Bella Akhatovna experienced after breaking up with him.
This guess seems to be correct, since the poem is filled with very sincere experiences. The poetess makes her lyrical heroine, on behalf of whom she speaks herself, an artist. The fact that the heroine performs on stage is indicated by such words as “parterre”, “I played a role”, “among the wings”.
The poet draws a parallel between real life And theatrical production. The author compares the publicity of the famous creative person with the presence of an actor on stage. In both cases, any gesture or word of a person instantly becomes the property and subject of discussion of the crowd. This is what the heroine of the poem faced:
Oh, how you cackled, parterre!
You did not forgive me the obvious
shameless of my losses...
The poem does not say how and why the heroine found herself alone in front of a cruel crowd. However, it is known that the gap between Yevtushenko and Akhmadulina occurred due to the pregnancy of the poetess and her husband's unwillingness to take responsibility for the unborn child. Bella Akhatovna had to terminate the pregnancy. But the reader also understands well how the society of that time treated such phenomena. It is not surprising that the young poetess, who had already experienced a terrible loss, faced condemnation and censure from the public, while her ex-husband continued to live the former carefree life of a free artist.
A deep personal tragedy is hidden behind the words about the roles, the stage, the backstage. But unbearable pain breaks through allusions and metaphors. With the help of emotional repetitions, the poetess conveys her feelings to the reader:
Alone, alone in the midst of shame
I stand with slumped shoulders.
All our role is my only role.
…
All our pain is my only pain.
But how much pain. How many. How many..
Resentment at a callous, uncomprehending public is expressed in a poem with the help of metaphors. Having caught the resemblance of a rough crowd with animals, the poetess uses the expressions "parterre cackled", "parterre herds".
The reader may be struck by how generous Bella Akhatovna is. Instead of turning the public's displeasure on the man who broke her heart, the poetess allows him to remain unnoticed. Calling him condescendingly "the shy hero," she reassures him:
Hero, how scared you are!
Don't be afraid, I won't betray you.
There is amazing power in this poem. female soul. It would seem that the grief experienced can break anyone, but the poetess was able to withstand the blow and continue to create, for which she was rewarded in the future new love and recognition.
Collected poems from the film. I read whole life in these verses! During ordinary everyday life, everything that makes us human is intertwined with a bright ribbon.
« My soul has no rest» words by Robert Burns (translated by Samuil Marshak) - two versions performed by Alisa Freindlikh and Andrey Myagkov.
1. My soul has no rest,
All day I'm waiting for someone.
Without sleep I meet the dawn -
And all because of someone...
There is no one with me.
Ah, where to find someone?
I can go around the whole world
To find someone
To find someone...
I can go around the whole world!
2. O you who keep love
unknown forces,
Let the unharmed return again
To me my someone dear!
But no one is with me.
I'm sad for some reason.
I swear I'd give anything
In the world for someone
In the world for someone ...
I swear I'd give anything.
« We are chatting in crowded trams» words by Yevgeny Yevtushenko, performed by Andrey Myagkov.
We are chatting in crowded trams,
We are shaken by one maet,
The subway swallows us every now and then,
Releasing from a smoky mouth.
In noisy streets, in white flutters
People, we walk next to people,
Our breaths are mixed
Our tracks are mixed up, Our tracks are mixed up.
From our pockets we pull smoke,
We moo popular songs,
Hitting each other with elbows,
Sorry or shut up.
Along Sadovy, Lebyazhy and Trubny
Each in a separate way
We, not recognized by each other,
Hitting each other, let's go Hitting each other, let's go.
There is no peace in my soul
music by A. Petrov
sl. R. Burns
(translated by S. Marshak)
There is no peace in my soul
All day I'm waiting for someone.
Without sleep I meet the dawn
And all because of someone.
There is no one with me
Ah, where to find someone?
I can go around the whole world
To find someone.
To find someone
I can go around the world...
Oh you who keep love
Unknown forces!
Let the unharmed return again
To me my someone dear.
But there is no one with me
I'm sad for some reason.
I swear I'd give anything
In the world for someone!
In the world for someone
I swear I'd give anything...
We are chatting in crowded trams
music by A. Petrov
words E. Evtushenko
We are chatting in crowded trams,
We are shaken by one maet,
The subway swallows us every now and then,
Releasing from a smoky mouth.
In bright streets, in white flutters,
People, we walk next to people,
Our breaths are confused
Our tracks are mixed.
From our pockets we pull smoke,
We moo popular songs,
Hitting each other with elbows,
Sorry or shut up.
Along Sadovy, Lebyazhy and Trubny,
Each in a separate way
We, not recognized by each other,
Hitting each other, let's go
Hitting each other, let's go.
shy hero
music A. Petrova
sl. B. Akhmadulina
Oh my shy hero,
You cleverly avoided shame.
How long have I played the part
Not relying on a partner!
To your damned help
I never ran.
Among the wings, among the shadows
You disappeared, invisible to the eye.
But in this shame and delirium
I walked before the cruel public -
everything is in trouble, everything is in sight,
everyone in this role is lonely.
Oh, how you cackled, parterre!
You did not forgive me the obvious
shameful of my losses,
my smile harmlessness.
And greedily walked your herds
Drink from my sorrow.
One, one! In the midst of shame
I stand with slumped shoulders.
But the reckless crowd
The real hero is not visible.
Hero! How scared you are!
Don't be afraid, I won't betray you.
All our role is my only role
I lost badly in it.
All our pain is my only pain
But how much pain... how much... how much...
Lovers' speeches cut off
music by A. Petrov
sl.N.Zabolotsky
The speeches of lovers are cut off,
The last starling flies away.
Falling off the maples all day long
Purple heart silhouettes.
What have you, autumn, done to us?
The earth freezes in red gold.
The flame of sorrow whistles underfoot
Stirring heaps of leaves.
Fly over the last poppies
music by A. Petrov
sl.N.Zabolotsky
The last poppies fly around
Cranes fly away, trumpeting.
And nature in painful darkness
Doesn't look like herself.
Along a deserted and bare alley
The stirring of flying leaves,
Why are you, not sparing yourself,
Are you wandering with your head uncovered?
Plant life is now lurking
In these strange fragments of branches.
Well, what happened to you
What happened to your soul?
How dare you this beauty
Your precious soul
Let go, let go, to wander around the world,
To die in a distant land?
Let the home walls be fragile,
Let the road go into darkness.
There is no sadder betrayal in the world,
Than betraying yourself.
Song about the weather
music by A. Petrov
text by E. Ryazanov
There is no bad weather,
Every weather is a blessing.
Rain, snow, any time of the year
Should be gratefully received.
Echoes of spiritual bad weather,
Seal in the heart of loneliness
And insomnia woeful shoots
Should be gratefully received.
Should be gratefully received.
Death of desires, years and hardships -
Every day more and more unbearable luggage.
What is assigned to you by nature,
Should be gratefully received.
Change of years, sunsets and sunrises,
And love is the last grace,
As well as the date of your departure,
Should be gratefully received.
There is no bad weather,
The passage of time cannot be stopped.
Autumn of life, like autumn of the year,
It is necessary, without grieving, to bless.
