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Secular ball: immersion in history (Gandia, Valencia). Balls and traditions How it was

Modern balls, although they have lost their significance as purely aristocratic leisure, still retain the status of grandiose social events, where representatives of the noble family, politicians, famous figures culture. However, you can be one of them too.

Balls in our time are divided into three categories: historical and role-playing (masquerades), aimed at the general public, and public. The last category is designed for a narrow circle of people and is interesting from the point of view of the ballroom tradition: a mandatory dress code, knowledge of dance etiquette and the ability to perform traditional dances - mazurka, polonaise, polka, waltz, square dance, contradance and others.
Among modern balls, the Vienna Opera Ball (January), the Dresden Ball (January), the Imperial Ball in Vienna (February), the Carnival of Masks in Venice (before Easter), the Vienna Ball in Moscow (May), the Pushkin Balls in St. Petersburg (in different time), Russian balls in Rome, London and other European cities, as well as Christmas balls that take place throughout Europe.

The obligatory guests of these events are the descendants of noble European families, wealthy people, famous celebrities, and if you follow the dress code, know how to dance and know ballroom traditions, you can join them and visit one of the most interesting social events of modern aristocrats.

A Few Rules
The lady should know that the gentleman always engages, while she can refuse him, but only in five cases: she promised a dance to another, has already danced with him three times (only the bride and groom are allowed more), danced with him in the previous dance, wants to relax , the cavalier came up without gloves. By the way, gloves are the main accessory of the ball event. It is supposed to be in them, both during the dance and throughout the evening.

The dress code of modern balls also has certain limits: ladies are invited either in ball gowns, usually debutantes dress up like this, or in full-length evening dresses; gentlemen - in a tuxedo, tailcoat, black shoes and a bow tie. The exception is masquerade balls, like the Venice Carnival.
Before you go to the ball and become part of this grand social event, you will have to master the dance etiquette: who nods to whom, which side they stand on, how they talk and other subtleties. As a rule, this is taught in special courses and master classes. The very art of historical dances can be mastered in special classes, for example, in dance classes organized by the Ballroom Committee in Moscow.

From the history of the ball
The first balls were held in France, from where they spread throughout Europe. They came to Russia in the Petrine era, which, by decree on assemblies of November 26, 1718, obliged the boyars of their wives to go to dances. Balls quickly became an integral part of the leisure of aristocrats, and the 18th century was marked by the formation of a ballroom culture in Russia, catching up, and even surpassing European holidays in chic and scope. Important attributes of the ball were class and access to the parquet only for representatives of the nobility, and the organizers also invited "dancers" - young officers and persons of low rank, who after the dance immediately returned to the place allotted to their social class.

In the 20th century, the traditional ball ceased to exist in Russia, but survived in Europe. In particular, we are talking about the Vienna Balls, listed by UNESCO in the list cultural heritage. As in the New Age, the Viennese Ball observes a special ballroom protocol and holding a ball. In addition to the public secular ball, about 300 events for different audiences are held in Austria during the season: Hunters Balls, Opera and others.

… Although, it really only seems. In times long past, there was still not that variety in secular dance pleasures. Balls were timed to coincide with special celebrations, divided into class and professional categories, were private, public, court, merchant, children, wedding, embassy, flower balls, monochrome, etc., and so on ... We must admit that our club reality is "slightly" inferior by the scale of those amusements in which the Russian nobility knew a lot.

Perhaps this wonderful fashion for balls has returned to us not only from the desire for an exotic entourage among the fashionable crowd, but as a real need for modern man in grace and beauty. Let's really hope for that.

No matter how you twist the lady in the waltz, you still want everything to be real. So, as once in the palaces. Therefore, the most tempting, the most popular, the most interesting today are again the balls "in all noble uniforms", the so-called historical ones.

If we formulate the definition of a historical ball, then this is a ball, all components of which are subject to the rules of a particular past era: the costumes of the guests, the decoration of the hall, etiquette, the atmosphere, the music and the dances themselves. Moreover, if the organizers of such a ball aim to hold not just a secular entertainment event, but to draw attention to the culture and history of society, then the dances are performed not in their modern interpretation, but exactly as it was customary at the time when they were popular and performed at balls. With a serious approach to holding such an evening historical dances restored for certain according to descriptions and images in old dance textbooks. And to recreate the atmosphere of the chosen era, manners, features of etiquette, life, and even social relations a certain period.

But, nevertheless, more often a historical ball in Russia and abroad is called a simplified costumed version of not very strict rules, where historical dances are performed. Footmen, liveries, carriages - keeping the atmosphere of the chosen era to the smallest detail is not a cheap pleasure. Available only to the world elite.

By the way, to the question of the availability of balls. In this sense, you and I are undoubtedly lucky. Today, anyone can visit a historical ball and feel like a beautiful lady or a gallant gentleman.

A thousand stars exploded

Thousands of notes and feet

And the endless waltz

God drummed.

In order to mentally taste all the beauty and splendor of those distant noble balls, let's take a walk back in time and see how they passed, what they danced on, what ladies were allowed to do and how gentlemen were ordered to behave.

Of course, balls were inherent not only to the Russian nobility. Higher European society did not lag behind at all. However, we are interested in local customs, especially since all of Europe openly admired the scope, immediacy and energy of Russian balls.

So 19th century golden time noble balls. You could say they were so important part life of high society, that all other leisure was, one way or another, subordinated to balls. They were expected, prepared for them. During the year they took dance lessons, chose fabrics for outfits, studied music, singing, clavichords did not stop in the houses, and a little later harpsichords. Dancing and music were a must nobility education. Feeling the rhythm and dancing to the music was the most important skill for that time. Missing a dance at a ball could cause great damage to social reputation, and sometimes cost a career (it was so shameful to lose tact).

Children were taught the art of dance from the age of 5-6. The ability to dance was fixed, like that of a trained athlete - the body memorized the movements so well that at the right moment, no matter what the excitement at the ball, the dancers had dexterity, ease, confidence and familiarity in movements. Along with the ability to dance, young people were instilled with correct posture, the basics of social decency and good manners, grace, grace, the ability to behave and communicate.

Balls were a favorite entertainment not only of the high society, but also of the bourgeois class. Neighbors, relatives and colleagues came to the estates to respectable families, but all the same, this event was considered a ball and was held as luxuriously as possible.

The interested society of that time was well aware of all the rules and conventions regarding the organization of the ball. Invitations were sent out ahead of time, usually two to three weeks in advance. Moreover, all the invitees had to give an answer whether they could come to the event or not. The invitation was very concise, it indicated only the place and time of the ball, everything else did not require explanation, ballroom procedures were absorbed by everyone from childhood.

How it was?

For the balls of high society, magnificent huge halls were intended, surrounded on three sides by columns. Halls lit up crystal chandeliers with hundreds wax candles, and around the perimeter with wall-mounted copper candlesticks.

Usually, young people danced and flirted most of the ball, and gentlemen and ladies of respectable age, having danced for 10 minutes, took up cards and conversations.

Points program in noble society was traditional and well-established. And everything in her obeyed the dances, since it was they who set the tone for the evening. In the 18th century, it was customary to open the ball with a polonaise, which was later replaced. The second danced. The mazurka was the culmination of the ball, and the cotillion completed it. The evening was followed by a sumptuous dinner taking place in the side sitting rooms. In addition, during the evening there was always a buffet with drinks and snacks.

What did they dance?

So, the ball opened, which lasted 30 minutes. Ladies during this dance met gentlemen. The polonaise was a solemn procession in which all those present were to take part. Even if the guest was going to spend the rest of the evening playing cards and small talk, he had to perform a polonaise in order to show respect to the owners of the house. The fashion for polonaise came in the time of Catherine II and lasted quite a long time. Foreigners jokingly called this dance "walking conversation."

Not a single ball was complete without a waltz. This is the second dance of the evening program. With all the monotony of constantly recurring movements, the waltz was the most loved by secular society. Apparently because romance and madness coexisted in it: the gentleman in a whirlwind of dance circled the lady around the hall, gallantly clasping her around the waist. They say that such "airy, flying" waltzes were performed only at Russian balls.

The waltz was followed by, a Hungarian, several, which, by the way, like the mazurka, were painted for each lady in advance and everyone knew which dance, when and with whom they should dance.

– main dance any ball. She “came” to Russia in 1810 from Paris. The lady in this dance was assigned an unusually feminine role: she must walk gracefully and smoothly, gracefully glide and run along the parquet. The gentleman in the mazurka was very active. What are the "antrash" - jumps, during which he had to kick three times in the air with his feet. Admittedly, a very difficult element. It is this skillful tapping of heels that captivates so much in the mazurka, gives it originality and chic. During the mazurka, which was danced in four couples, conversations were allowed between the lady and the gentleman.

The ball ended with a cotillion. This French dance-game made it possible to end the evening in a playful and relaxed way. The gentlemen in it knelt before the lady, sat her down, flirted and deceived, bounced, jumped over a card or a scarf. The evening ended on a major note.

Society's passion for balls was all-consuming. They were given all year round, but, nevertheless, the season began with late autumn. At this time, representatives of the high society returned from the estates to the city and throughout the winter period, with the exception of fasting, balls were held so often that they had to attend 2-3 evenings a day, which actually required remarkable endurance from the guests.

Modern historical ball

Historical balls are held quite often today. The organizers are charitable cultural foundations, historical clubs, societies or enthusiastic entrepreneurs. In order to match the spirit of the era as much as possible, guests of such events must follow certain rules.

Appearance at the ball (preparing for the example of the 19th century)

If you focus on the ladies and gentlemen of the late XIX century, then the costume for the historical ball should be chosen as follows:

Strictly regulated appearance: open dresses, complemented by a small bud of artificial or natural flowers. Young girls are recommended light-colored dresses, simple jewelry and a simple hairstyle. Married ladies can afford a richer choice in the style of dresses, their colors, sizes and quantities of jewelry. The ideal ballroom shoes are soft shoes, mostly without a heel. Minimize the use of cosmetics (in the original, ladies allowed themselves to use only powder, and then in moderation).

Cavaliers:

It also has its own canons: tailcoat, white vest, black or white tie. In addition, men can come to a historical ball in uniform (these were worn at the ball by civil servants in accordance with their position) or in military ceremonial uniforms of one or another eminent regiment (today you can sew or rent anything, but what a sensation will produce such a cavalier!).

Usually, the organizers of the ball stipulate a "dress code" for invited guests. It may be clearly stated that the costumes must correspond to the fashion of specific decades of such and such a century, it is stipulated what military uniform is acceptable and whether a modern tailcoat can be worn. But in tuxedos and modern business suits, they don’t go to historical balls.

The most important attribute of a ball gown for ladies and gentlemen is immaculately white gloves. For ladies, they should be kid or silk, often above the elbow. Cavaliers in civilian clothes have kid coats, and the "military" ones have suede ones. Gloves are taken off only during the dinner, which takes place in the middle of the ball immediately after the mazurka, and then put on again.

When going to a historical ball, a lady needs to think about such a flirtatious attribute as a fan. Modern ballroom fashion advises using a fan not only to create a fresh breath, but also to learn at least a few techniques for communicating with a fan, which will make your evening even more interesting.

Of course, ballroom etiquette is quite difficult to observe to the subtleties. But this is the beauty of the historical balls of our time, in order to get as close as possible to a bygone era in the most minor details. This is what gives special charm to such events.

So, you are invited to a historical ball. What should you know and be able to feel on it "at ease"?

First of all, you need to learn the dances that are included in the ball program. The historical ball, like its ancient ancestor, has its core, its most important purpose, namely dancing. Therefore, if you behave awkwardly on the floor, it will not only spoil the overall pattern of the dance, but will definitely spoil your mood. By the way, modern historical balls most often sin with this shortcoming. If an unprepared audience comes to such an event, then the ball looks very deplorable.

Guests at historical balls are offered a very interesting program: historical dances of a particular era, roulette and card salons, old ball games, historical lotteries and quizzes, literary and musical salons, and even professional photo shoots in all this splendor.

Preliminary for guests who bought or received invitation cards, a few weeks before the ball, master classes are held in all the dances that are included in the program. And the dances can be very diverse: polonaise, waltzes, tampet, various quadrilles, triplet, Cracovian, waltz-counterdance, mazurka, Petrovsky march, Aleman, hussar polka, Venetian, horse branle, cotillion, etc. The dance program depends on which historical period the organizers took as the basis of the ball and the culture of which country they are going to present. Historical balls are often associated not only with Russian nobility, but also with the Renaissance and other significant milestones in European history.

Why do you want to go to the ball so much?

A historical ball, unlike a disco, can be visited by a man and a woman at any age, even if they are 80 years old. And in this common swirling crowd, no couple will look out of place. Balls were attended by all generations and ages, and even now they are extremely attractive for this reason. By the way, if you think about it, the historical ball is one of the few places where positive and cultural communication of several generations can take place today.

Second - apparently we are tired of modern spectacles. Dancing in a club no longer seems like such a cool way to spend time. Habitual, and sometimes, and, frankly, boring. But jumping out of jeans and putting on a chic suit (even if it was rented), you can feel completely new.

And yes, the ball is fun, unusual and unforgettable. For those who miss romance, good manners and new experiences - the way to the ball!

Balls in the 19th century were a favorite entertainment of the public. Everyone gave balls - in proportion to their means and capabilities. The ball was a very expensive pleasure for the host. "I gave three balls every year and finally squandered" - says about Onegin's father. But I will not go into financial and economic details. It is more interesting to talk about what happened at the balls. Balls were given all year round, but the season began in late autumn - the time of the greatest concentration of representatives of high society in the urban environment - and continued throughout the winter period, with the exception of periods when it was necessary to fast. Often in one evening I had to attend two or three balls, which required considerable strength from the dancers, besides, many balls ended in the morning, and the next day it was necessary to give visits and prepare for the upcoming amusements.

Any ball began with an invitation. “Sometimes he was still in bed, they carried Pushkin’s notes to him, somewhat inaccurately reflects the situation: invitations to the ball could not be sent on the day of the ball - the addressees had to receive them in three weeks, and make up an answer - whether they would or not. The invitations were very concise, for example: “Prince Potemkin asks to honor him, welcome to the masquerade, this February 8, 1779 at the Anichkov House at 6 o’clock.” However, all the rest of the information was superfluous - everyone already knew the other ballroom conventions.

The order of the ball was unshakable. Guests began to arrive after six or nine in the evening, some arrived at ten or midnight. After the arrival of the guests, whom the host was supposed to meet, the ball opened with a solemn polonaise, a dance-procession, in which all the guests were supposed to take part, even if they then sat all evening and all night at the card tables. In the second half of the 19th century, the polonaise was sometimes performed at the end of the ball, then the dancing began with the waltz. Then waltzes, polkas, quadrilles, mazurkas alternated. “The mazurka was such a wonderful dance, especially because it brought out those qualities of men and women with which they most attracted each other. Each played his part: the lady rushed forward easily, and the very turn of her head, as she had to look at the gentleman over her raised shoulder, gave her a teasing aura of incomprehensibility, while the whole initiative of the dance remained in the hands of the gentleman. He rushed her forward, either snapping his spurs, then circling her, then falling on one knee and forcing her to dance around him, showing his dexterity and imagination, the ability to show himself and control her will "" Mazurka is the soul of the ball, the goal of lovers, the telegraph rumors and gossip, almost a proclamation of new weddings, a mazurka is two hours, calculated by fate to their chosen ones as a deposit of happiness for a lifetime " , lasted three hours or more ... ”In the middle of the ball there was a dinner, for which each gentleman escorted the lady. If the gentleman came to the ball without a lady, the hostess of the ball could ask him to escort the lady to the ball (for example, who arrived with a couple of relatives and was therefore not accompanied by a gentleman). When the couple sat down at the table, they took off their gloves and covered their knees with a napkin. Before getting up from the table, gloves were put on again, napkins were left on the backs of chairs. Then the dancing continued again. The ball usually ended with a long cotillion, which in the late 19th century was sometimes replaced by a strange dance called the Quadrille Monster.

The ball was just beginning with the waltz, and other dances followed it, in particular, they danced the Hungarian, Krakowiak, padepatiner, padespan, padekatre ... At the balls there was a certain dance order, and everyone knows that the so-called small dances will be followed by the first quadrille, then, following the schedule, the second, third. After the fourth quadrille and small dances, as a rule, there was a mazurka. This is a special dance. He, like the quadrille, was scheduled for all the ladies in advance, and every gentleman, every lady knew when and with whom they were dancing. It should be noted that among all the dances, the mazurka and cotillion were the most "important" invitations to the ball, for the reason that after the mazurka the gentleman led the lady to the table for dinner, where they could chat, flirt and even confess their love. Everyone had dinner in the side parlors, at small tables. At each table, guests gathered in their own company. In addition, a buffet with various dishes, champagne and other hot and cold drinks was always open at the balls.
Ballroom dance program in 1874
Polonaise
Waltz
Polka
Lancier
Gallop
Waltz
française
Polka
Gallop
Lancier
Waltz
française
Cotillion

The duties of gentlemen included that the ladies had everything they wanted. At the same time, the gentleman must entertain the ladies and conduct small talk with them. At dinner, the guests talked about many things: about music, theater, breaking news from the gossip column, who marries whom or marries whom ... After dinner, they always danced the cotillon. Large boxes of flowers were brought to him. Cavaliers sorted bouquets and brought them to their ladies. After all this, the conductor of the ball and his assistants on swords brought in a lot of multi-colored ribbons (balds), as well as narrow and short ribbons with bells at the ends. The gentlemen, having dismantled the ribbons, brought them to their chosen ones, and they put one ribbon over the other over their shoulders. Moreover, men tied short narrow ribbons with bells to the ladies' hands, starting from the wrist to the elbows. “It was, let me tell you, a nice job. You bow to the gentle hand of the lady, to her fragrant body and inhale the aroma of charming French perfumes ... "

People came to the ball dressed smartly. Cavaliers - in a tailcoat, tuxedo or suit (depending on the decade), a white shirt and always white gloves. Moreover, in the manuals, the lady has the right to refuse a gentleman without gloves, and for a gentleman it is better to come to the ball in black gloves than without gloves at all. A boutonniere was attached to the lapel of the tailcoat. The military came in uniforms. The costumes of gentlemen depended little on fashion and were recommended to be sewn in classical forms so that the robes would last longer. Cavaliers came to the ball in boots, and only the military could afford boots, but without spurs.

Ladies and girls dressed in dresses according to the latest fashion, each of which was created for 1-2 balls. Ladies could choose any color for the dress (if it was not specifically agreed), for girls dresses were sewn in white or pastel colors - blue, pink, ivory. Gloves were matched to the dress to match the dress or white (it was considered tasteless to wear rings over gloves). Ladies could decorate themselves with a headdress - for example, a beret. The girls were encouraged to have a modest hairstyle. In any case, the neck had to be exposed. Ladies' jewelry could be anything - the main thing is that they are chosen with taste. Girls should appear at balls with a minimum amount of jewelry - a pendant around the neck, a modest bracelet.

The cut of ball gowns depended on fashion, but one thing remained unchanged in it - an open neck and shoulders. With such a cut of the dress, neither a lady nor a girl could appear in society without jewelry around the neck - a chain with a pendant, a necklace - something must have been worn

In addition, in the 1820-1830s. it was indecent for a lady and a girl to appear in the world without a bouquet of flowers: they carried it in their hands, in their hair, attached to a dress at the waist or on their chest. Required attribute there was a fan. It could be left in the ballroom in its place, it was possible to hold it in the left hand (which lies on the partner’s shoulder) during the dance. Little things were put in a bag (reticule), which was also left in its place.

They arrived at the ball, as a rule, with a slight delay. The host met the first guests, latecomers joined the dancers sometimes even without announcing the persons. At the ball, the ladies took small books with them to write down the sequence of dances; towards the end of the century, these books began to be given out at balls.

In addition to dancing and dinner at the balls, the guests were entertained by games: calm, such as cards, cheerful and moving, such as phantoms. They often parted in the morning: "Half-sleepy in bed from the ball, he rides: and restless Petersburg has already been awakened by a drum."

Within a month after the ball, the guests had to pay the hosts a courtesy call.

General rules of conduct at the ball and ballroom etiquette

Invitations to the ball are sent at least 10 days before it starts.
At the height of the season, this period increases to 3 weeks.
In the first 2 days after receiving the invitation, you should inform the organizers of the ball about your decision.
The ballroom toilet should be elegant and refined at the same time, meet the requirements of fashion and be specially tailored for the next ball.
Color precious stones must match the color of the dress.
Pearls and diamonds or rubies and diamonds - to pink fabrics; pearls and diamonds or sapphires and diamonds - to blue fabrics.
Ladies were advised to keep a small bouquet of flowers in their hands.
During the ball, neither the ladies nor the gentlemen took off their gloves, with the exception of dinner and playing cards.
A young man, like a girl, accepting an invitation to a ball, at the same time undertakes to dance. In the event of a shortage of gentlemen or ladies, the obligation to dance falls on everyone. To show displeasure or to let it be noticed that you are dancing out of necessity is extremely indecent. On the contrary, he who wants to become the darling of society must indulge in pleasure with all his soul and dance with any partner.

At the ball, do not for a moment forget that the facial expression should be cheerful and amiable. A sad or angry face at a ball is the same as dancing at a wake.

When arriving late to the ball, you first need to greet the hosts, and only then start conversations with acquaintances (the latter can be greeted with a nod of the head).

You can invite to dances in advance (including at the ball). However, it is courteous to come to the ball, promising in advance no more than three dances.

The chief in the dance hall is the manager of the ball. He must be obeyed unquestioningly, not to argue with him and not to make scandals. The steward is responsible for the order in the hall.

Cavaliers should take care of the ladies, bring them soft drinks and entertain them in every possible way. Conversations should take place quietly and not touch on complex or serious topics. Any form of humor should be avoided. Cavaliers who take pleasure in causing laughter in their address are to be pitied.

Disputes and quarrels that arise between gentlemen should be settled outside the ballroom.

Ladies should not slander, on the contrary, they should behave pleasantly, nicely and kindly. In addition, ladies should avoid any manifestation of bad humor, which may cause disapproval. Most main enemy ladies at the ball - this is jealousy, which is always noticeable. Ladies should move gently and silently both at home and in society, and leave the impression of the soft steps of a fairy.

Loud laughter, noisy quarrels, rude words, indiscreet looks, in general, everything that is at odds with the laws of beauty, should be avoided with special care. The behavior of a lady in relation to a gentleman should always be measured and modest, but ladies should not refuse gentlemen who invited them to dance - a recognition worthy of any attention.

In general, at a ball one should behave modestly, dance gracefully and observe decorum; jumping, breaking, taking cutesy poses would mean exposing yourself in the eyes of some as an object worthy of ridicule, and in the eyes of others - an object worthy of pity.

Invitation to dance (engagement)

The gentleman inviting the lady to the dance approaches her and, bowing gracefully, makes an invitation in the most polite and delicate form: "Let me have the pleasure of inviting you to [dance]." If the invitee is well known to you, then simply: "Do not deny me the pleasure of dancing with you." It is also possible to invite the lady you like by going up to her, bowing and giving your right hand (it is not necessary to say anything). The lady, accepting the invitation, gives the gentleman her left hand.

If the gentleman’s bow was not taken personally by the one he wanted to invite, then a well-bred gentleman in no case shows his disappointment, but observes the rules of decency and blames himself, first of all, for awkwardness, but rather gets out of the situation with humor.

It is indecent to invite a lady to whom you are not represented. To do this, it is best to either find a person who agrees to introduce you, or, as a last resort, introduce yourself.

At a masquerade ball, the mask has the right to invite strangers, the rest can invite only acquaintances.

If the lady is not alone, but in the company of a companion or friends, it is necessary, based on the general norms of behavior, to first apologize for the interrupted conversation, if necessary, ask the companion’s consent, and then invite the lady to dance.

It is strongly recommended that when you come to the evening with a lady, dance with her the allowed number of dances (usually - 3). The height of faux pas would be to dance all the time with others. Don't be surprised if by the end of the evening she prefers someone else to walk her home.

However, it is indecent to dance a lot with the same partner. With a partner who is not the bride/groom, you can dance no more than three dances per evening, and you cannot dance two dances in a row.

When the gentleman invites the lady, she bows her head as a sign of consent, saying: "with pleasure", "good", in case of disagreement, the lady is also allowed to remain silent and answer the gentleman's invitation with only a gesture, or: "I'm sorry, I already promised," or : "I'm already dancing." But at the same time, the lady can offer the gentleman another dance of her choice or the gentleman's choice. It is unethical and stupid to insist on an invitation or find out the reasons for refusal. It would be wise to bow very politely and walk away without any comment, without expressing your displeasure.

You can decline a dance invitation if:

the dance is already promised;
the lady has already danced with this gentleman three dances in the evening or the previous dance;
the lady wants to skip the dance - not to dance, but to rest;
inviting gentleman without gloves.

In any other case, the lady was obliged to accept the invitation. If she refused for no reason, she was not eligible to participate in this dance at all.

If a lady accidentally forgot that she had given her word, and while she is going to dance with another gentleman, the first one appears, then she should apologize. To get out of this unpleasant situation, it is best to completely abandon the dance or invite the first gentleman to dance another dance with her.

But the gentleman to invite a lady and then forget about it is not only the most unforgivable impoliteness, but simply rudeness; in such a case, he quite rightly incurs the wrath of the lady invited by him and the whole society.

In a situation where your friend invited your companion to dance, it would be gallant to invite his lady so that she would not be left alone.

Finally, having invited the lady, gallantly escort her to your chosen place in the hall and bow slightly to her, since the music of many dances will not allow you to have time to do this.

Rules of conduct during the dance

The lady must strictly observe that the gentleman is on her left side, both during dances and when walking with her through the hall. Neither ladies nor gentlemen take off their gloves during the ball, and even more so they don’t dance without gloves.

The lady easily puts her left hand to the man a little below the shoulder. Depending on the fashion, a fan and an elegant handkerchief are held in the same hand, or the handkerchief is hidden, and the fan is hung on a chain, cord or ribbon attached to the belt. The purpose of the fan is to inspire coolness; to hide behind them, so that it would be more convenient to talk and laugh with a gentleman, is indecent. Young, very lively ladies should also notice to themselves that it is not good to lose flowers from their hair or from a dress and pieces of the dress itself and its trimmings. This always indicates unrestrained, abrupt movements and a lack of accuracy and modesty.

During ceremonial dances (polonaise, minuet), one should stand only behind already standing couples. This rule does not apply to the host of the ball. The optimal distance between pairs is at least a meter. If there is too much steam, it is worth standing aside, forming a different line. If the hall is free, the gentleman should lead the lady to the dance in front of him, but if it's crowded, go ahead himself so that the crampedness does not cause inconvenience to the chosen one. Don't get too close to the dancers, avoid collisions. If a collision occurs, it is worth apologizing and paying attention. It is considered polite to bow to your partner before starting the dance. In general, the dance usually begins with a bow from the gentleman and a return curtsey from the lady.

In the dance, the gentleman leads the lady, and he must take all mistakes personally; if a couple accidentally hit another couple, then the gentleman apologizes, because he is the leader.

During the dance, the gentleman and the lady should not be too far apart, but they should not snuggle up to each other. Dancing with a lady wearing a low-cut dress, the gentleman cannot afford to hold her by her bare shoulders or back.

The dancing cavalier never looks down at his feet, even to make sure that he is doing all the steps correctly. The cavalier should keep straight, with dignity.

The lady is also supposed to dance with her eyes raised, only occasionally allowing herself to cast a short glance at the floor. However, no one can forbid a dancing lady to shoot a glance at a gentleman who likes her!

As it is considered indecent to speak incessantly over the ear of your lady during the dance, so it would be exactly impolite not to say a few words to her. The conversation between the lady and the gentleman should be extremely kind and pleasant. Talking banalities, discussing other guests of the ball is a bad form. If there is nothing to say during the dance, it is better to remain silent.

In a dance that has a strict sequence of figures, keep an eye on the previous couples, especially the first one, and do nothing before them.

During dances of free movement, for example, the Viennese waltz, do not rush to immediately pair up, first wait for the music and bow to it, since the music here allows this. While dancing, move along with everyone, try not to move, or move along the usual line of dance, in the outer circle. If you are dancing more or less on the spot, or if for some reason you get lost, then it is better to move to the center of the hall, but not outside, and even more so, do not stay on the dance line.

At the end of the dance, the gentleman bows to his lady and accompanies her to the place from where he invited her, or to wherever the lady wishes, along the way thanking her for the honor she did by dancing with him in a pair.

All couples, apparently, perform the same movements, but an attentive observer can find in them a lot of features that serve as a true characterization not only of each individual couple, but also of the individual. According to the harmonic movements of a separate pair, which seems to be one, it is often possible to unmistakably conclude that there is sympathy between persons. Graceful, light, as if soaring movements of a young girl are always attractive; over the imperfections of the same movements, they always allow themselves to laugh, without at all taking into account that the cause is often a cavalier.

Indeed, the task of the latter in dancing is much harder and more important than the ladies. He must be able to dance so well as to be able to cover up his lady's little awkwardness. That's why young man care should be taken to be able to dance well; then he can be sure that he will not receive a refusal; on the contrary, he will be welcomed everywhere and invited to balls. "Somehow, Princess E.P. Beloselskaya-Belozerskaya violated etiquette. She appeared at the court ball in a purple dress with inappropriate decorations, which immediately drew the attention of those present, it was a kind of challenge to the world. And in the world for two weeks they discussed this gross violation etiquette."

current mood: in the midst of a noisy ball

Current Music: I.Strauss-son-waltz Liebeslieder (Songs of Love)

Ball is always a holiday. Bright, colorful, sparkling, cheerful. And this holiday has always been desired and loved in Russia.

Balls were given all year round, but the season began in late autumn and continued throughout the winter. Often in one evening I had to attend two or three balls, which required considerable strength, besides, many balls ended in the morning, and the next day it was necessary to make visits and prepare for the upcoming amusements.

Balls and masquerade balls were divided according to class, professional, age categories, timed to coincide with special celebrations, and were court, public, private, merchant, wedding, children's ...

Balls of the Nobility Assembly, balls of artists and balls held by foreign embassies, merchant balls were popular at one time.

History of balls in Russia

The first ball in Russia took place in Moscow at the wedding of False Dmitry and Marina Mnishek.
Peter I resumed the balls, and since then they have become loved and revered both in the capitals and in the provinces of the Russian Empire.
Peter's assemblies became the prototype of future balls. The assemblies were gatherings with dances. Assemblies began to be held in St. Petersburg and Moscow as early as 1717 in the homes of the Russian nobility.

Assemblies served not only as a means of entertainment - "for fun", but also a place "for reasoning and friendly conversations."

Then, during the reign of Anna Ioannovna, Elizabeth Petrovna and Catherine II, assemblies completely supplanted balls and masquerade balls.

A ball is a solemn public or secular event, the main component of which is a dance program.

Therefore, since the 18th century, in all higher and middle educational institutions, schools and boarding schools dance has become a compulsory subject. It was studied at the royal lyceum and at modest vocational and commercial schools, at the gymnasium and at the cadet school.

In Russia, not only were all the newest and oldest ballroom dancing, but also knew how to perform them excellently. The dance culture of Russia in the 19th century stood at a high level.

Ballroom dress code

The ball has its own ceremonial and rules of conduct, which makes it so majestic and luxurious. All this allowed to maintain sophistication and attractiveness.

It was customary to come to the ball dressed smartly. Cavaliers - in a tailcoat pair, tuxedo or suit (depending on specific requirements and conditions), white shirt and vest. By the way, tailcoats were different colors, only by the end of the 30s of the XIX century the fashion for black was established.

White gloves were an obligatory item of the gentlemen's toilet. The civilians wore kid gloves, and the military wore suede gloves.
Moreover, according to the rules, the lady had full right refuse a gentleman without gloves. Therefore, it was better to come to the ball in black gloves than no gloves at all.

The costumes of civilian cavaliers depended little on fashion and were recommended to be sewn in classical forms.

The military came in dress uniforms corresponding to their regiments.

Cavaliers came to the ball in boots. Ballroom boots were also worn by the military, and only uhlans were allowed to wear boots. The presence of spurs was not approved. The fact is that the spurs tore the dresses during the dance. But some lancers broke this rule for the sake of panache.

Ladies and girls dressed in dresses according to fashion. As a rule, the dress was sewn for one ball and only in extreme cases was used twice.

Ladies could choose any color for the dress, unless otherwise specified. For example, on January 24, 1888, an emerald ball was held in St. Petersburg, at which all those present were dressed in the appropriate color.

For girls, dresses were made in white or pastel colors - blue, pink and ivory, that is, the color of "ivory".

Gloves to match the dress or white were selected for the dress. By the way, wearing rings over gloves was considered bad manners.

Ladies could adorn themselves with a headdress.

The cut of ball gowns depended on fashion, but one thing remained unchanged in it - an open neck and shoulders.

With such a cut of the dress, neither a lady nor a girl could appear in society without jewelry around the neck - a chain with a pendant or a necklace. That is, something had to be worn necessarily.

Ladies' jewelry could be anything - the main thing is that they are chosen with taste. Girls were supposed to appear at balls with a minimum amount of jewelry, for example, with a pendant around their neck or a modest bracelet.

An important component of the ladies' ball costume was the fan, which served not so much to create a fresh breath, but as a language of communication, now almost lost.

Recovering to the ball, the lady took with her a ballroom book - carne or agenda - where, opposite the list of dances, she entered the names of gentlemen who wanted to dance this or that dance with her. Sometimes, instead of an agenda, it could be used back side fans. It was considered excessive coquetry to brag about your completed agenda, especially to those ladies who were rarely invited.

Rules of conduct at the ball

By accepting the invitation to come to the ball, everyone thus assumed the obligation to dance. Refusing to participate in dances, as well as showing dissatisfaction or making it clear to a partner that you dance with him only out of necessity, was considered a sign of bad taste. And vice versa, it was considered a sign of good education at the ball to dance with pleasure and without coercion, regardless of the partner and his talents.

At a ball, more than any other social event, an appropriately cheerful and amiable facial expression. To show at the ball that you are not in a good mood or are dissatisfied with something is inappropriate and impolite in relation to those having fun.
Starting conversations with acquaintances before paying tribute to the owners was considered indecent. At the same time, not greeting acquaintances (even with a nod of the head) was also unacceptable.

There was a special culture of invitation to dance at the balls. An invitation to a dance was allowed in advance, both before the ball itself and at the ball. At the same time, it was considered impolite if a lady arrived at the ball promising more than the first three dances in advance.

In the ballroom, order and dancing are supervised by the manager of the ball.
During the ball, gentlemen should monitor the comfort and convenience of the ladies: bring drinks, offer help. The gentleman had to make sure that his lady was not bored.
Talking at a ball is certainly permissible. At the same time, it is not recommended to touch on complex and serious topics, as well as to gather a large company around you.

Buffoonery is not appropriate at balls. Even gentlemen who have a too cheerful disposition are advised to behave with dignity at the ball. Quarrels and quarrels between gentlemen are highly discouraged during the ball, but if disagreements arise, then it is recommended to resolve them outside the dance hall. Ladies are the main decoration of any ball. Therefore, it behooves them to behave affably and nicely. Loud laughter, slander, bad humor can cause disapproval of a decent society. The behavior of the ladies at the ball should be distinguished by modesty, the expression of extreme sympathy for any gentleman can give rise to condemnation.

Most of all, any manifestations of jealousy on the part of ladies and gentlemen are inappropriate at the ball. On the other hand, immodest looks and defiant behavior that provokes other participants in the ball are also unacceptable.

Dancing

According to the rules, the gentleman began the invitation to dance with the hostess of the house, then all her relatives followed, and only then it was the turn to dance with their familiar ladies.

IN early XIX century, the ball opened with a polonaise, where in the first pair the host walked with the most honored guest, in the second pair - the hostess with the most honored guest.
At the end 19th century the ball began with a waltz, but court, children's and merchant balls opened with a majestic polonaise.

Throughout the 19th century, the number of dances that a gentleman could dance with one lady during a ball changed. So at the beginning of the century this number was equal to one, and already in the 1880s two or three dances were allowed, not following one after another in a row. Only the bride and groom could dance more than three dances. If the gentleman insisted on more than expected number of dances, the lady refused, not wanting to compromise herself.

During the dance, the gentleman entertained the lady with light secular conversation, while the lady answered modestly and laconic.
The cavalier's duties also included preventing collisions with other couples and preventing his lady from falling.

At the end of the dance, the gentleman asked the lady where to take her: to the buffet or to the place where he took her from. After exchanging mutual bows, the gentleman either left, or could remain next to the lady and continue the conversation for some time.

As a rule, after the mazurka, the gentleman led the lady to the table for dinner, where they could talk and even confess their love.
Everyone had dinner in the side parlors, at small tables.
In addition, a buffet was always open at the balls with various dishes, champagne, a large selection of hot and cold drinks.

At the beginning of the century, the ball ended with a cotillion or Greek dance, and from the second half of the 19th century, the ball program was completed, as a rule, by a waltz.
The guests could leave whenever they liked, without focusing on their departure - but over the next few days, the invitee paid the hosts a grateful visit.

I remember my promise to write about balls. I do. =)

Since ancient times, people have sought to establish relationships with representatives of various circles of society (of course, within the same social stratum). For this purpose, balls were held. Ball (from fr. bal, Italian ballo, German Ball- to dance) - a meeting of a large society of people of both sexes for dancing.

Vladimir Pervuninsky - Ball

History of balls

In Russia, balls began to be arranged by decree of Peter I from 1718. They were called assemblies and were given in turn by all the courtiers. At the assemblies business conversations, smoked pipes, drank wine, played checkers and chess. Dancing was the main entertainment. It was not immediately given to our ancestors the art of easy secular communication. At first, during the breaks between dances, everyone sat as if dumb. And there were few dancers: the dances were tricky, it was necessary to bow, then squat. Wide skirts and high heels ruled out fast dance steps, however, they allowed to take various poses, forming elegant pictures. Bows and curtsies were the main elements of the dances.

The dance art was mastered slowly. We read from A. Pushkin in the story "Arap of Peter the Great": "During the entire length of the dance hall, ladies and gentlemen stood in two rows opposite each other; gentlemen bowed low, ladies squatted even lower: directly opposite themselves, then turning to the right, then to the left and so on". They danced anglaise, which was a pantomime: courtship of a gentleman for a lady. Gradually, the dances became more diverse, and the Polish polonaise came into use. It was based on smooth movements, bows and curtsies. The ball began with a minuet - a slow, elegant dance, but complex, only following the example of Elizabeth Petrovna, an excellent dancer, the minuet at the Russian court began to dance beautifully and gracefully. They danced the noisy and cheerful Grossfather, much loved by Peter. An excellent dancer himself, Peter loved a joke and was not averse to stirring up his clumsy courtiers. Having ordered everyone to dance, he stood in front with his lady and performed various steps to a slow melody. Gradually, the tempo of the music accelerated, Peter changed the "course" of direction, forcing the dancers to cross the hall in the opposite direction, then obliquely, then in a circle, then he directed everyone through all the rooms, then into the garden, along the paths between the flower beds and trees, returned to the house again, the orchestra greeted the exhausted dancers with a funeral march, everyone laughed."

Peter supervised the conduct of the assemblies. Violators of the rules Peter forced to drink in one fell swoop "Big Eagle Cup" as a punishment. The order established at the assemblies differed from European ballroom etiquette, but participation in the assemblies achieved its goal: the Russian nobles gradually got used to new customs, secular communication, and polite manners.

After the death of Peter I in Russia, the era of assemblies ended and the era of balls began. Tobacco and alcoholic drinks are a thing of the past, guests were served soft drinks: lemonade, orshad and others. Instead of checkers and chess, they played cards. Artisans were no longer invited, court etiquette became more strict. Balls were announced not by drumming, but by special invitations. The dances had their own sequence. In addition to dancing, the ball included additional entertainment: a small concert, live pictures, even an amateur performance. The ball ended with dinner.

The ball season lasted from Christmas until last day Shrovetide, the rest of the time balls were held on special occasions.

In addition to the imperial family, the balls were attended by court officials, diplomats, noble foreigners, officials of the highest four classes according to the "Table of Ranks". Guards officers were also obliged to go to court balls - two people from each regiment, officers were invited as dancing partners. All family members had to come with their wives and daughters.

Vladimir Pervuninsky - social event

Point classification

Balls performed various functions, including social ones. Depending on the functions, they had their own varieties.

courtiers the balls were usually boring. But it was necessary to attend court balls in St. Petersburg. These were official events. stiffness and restraint were calling card similar scores. Thousands of important guests gathered for balls, which were held by the most eminent families of Russia.

But secular youth preferred to visit Moscow- much more relaxed, which gathered several thousand people. Such balls provided an opportunity to have fun from the heart.

Ball is a real find
For young dandies and for ladies;
A beauty awaits him with delight,
It is a holiday for cloudy fathers.
So that the daughter dressed like a doll,
An experienced mother is busy,
And so that she does not sit up,
Take her to dance. (F. Koni)

Representatives of the nobility were obliged to give balls for relatives, high society acquaintances. Young girls of marriageable age began to appear. Potential brides and grooms met at the balls, matchmaking was planned. “Moscow was famous for its brides, like Vyazma for gingerbread,” wrote Pushkin.

Public balls were most often held in the provinces. Funds were collected from all comers through distribution lottery tickets. The most laid-back of the balls - family. Family balls were organized on the occasion of memorable family dates, for which invitation cards were distributed in advance. All kinds of auctions and competitions were held in the halls, and the proceeds went to help shelters. IN feature film"Anna on the neck" main character Anna, performed by the famous actress A. Larionova, was invited to hold such a charity lottery.

Baby balls were holidays for children and their parents. Most often arranged in private homes. Teenage girls danced merrily, starting games. It was the first appearance, the opportunity to show himself.

Masquerade balls were especially loved by society. Mandatory attributes were masks, domino raincoats. The atmosphere of mystery was conducive to liberated communication.

Vladimir Pervuninsky. To the sound of a waltz

Noble balls in the 19th century

Balls in the 19th century were a favorite entertainment of the public - both high society and bourgeois, and even peasants. Everyone gave balls - in proportion to their means and capabilities. The whole of St. Petersburg came to Princess Zinaida Yusupova, only colleagues gathered to the bourgeois family, but both of them were called a ball. The ball was a very expensive pleasure for the host. "I gave three balls every year and finally squandered" - says about Onegin's father. But I will not go into financial and economic details. It is more interesting to talk about what happened at the balls.

The ball was just beginning with the waltz, and other dances followed it, in particular, the Hungarian, Krakowiak, padepatiner, padespane, padekatre danced ... There was a certain dance order at the balls, and everyone knows that the so-called small dances will be followed by the first quadrille, then, following the routine, the second, third. After the fourth quadrille and small dances, as a rule, there was a mazurka. This is a special dance. He, like the quadrille, was scheduled for all the ladies in advance, and every gentleman, every lady knew when and with whom they were dancing. It should be noted that among all the dances, the mazurka and cotillion were the most "important" invitations to the ball, for the reason that after the mazurka the gentleman led the lady to the table for dinner, where they could chat, flirt and even confess their love. Everyone had dinner in the side parlors, at small tables. At each table, guests gathered in their own company. In addition, a buffet with various dishes, champagne and other hot and cold drinks was always open at the balls.

The duties of gentlemen included that the ladies had everything they wanted. At the same time, the gentleman must entertain the ladies and conduct small talk with them. At dinner, the guests talked about many things: about music, theater, the latest news from the gossip column, who marries whom or whom ... After dinner, they always danced the cotillion. Large boxes of flowers were brought to him. Cavaliers sorted bouquets and brought them to their ladies. After all this, the conductor of the ball and his assistants on swords brought in a lot of multi-colored ribbons (balds), as well as narrow and short ribbons with bells at the ends. The gentlemen, having dismantled the ribbons, brought them to their chosen ones, and they put one ribbon over the other over their shoulders. Moreover, men tied short narrow ribbons with bells to the ladies' hands, starting from the wrist to the elbows. “It was, let me tell you, a nice job. You bow to the gentle hand of the lady, to her fragrant body and inhale the aroma of charming French perfumes ... "

Ladies and girls dressed in dresses according to the latest fashion, each of which was created for 1-2 balls. Ladies could choose any color for the dress (unless it was specifically agreed - for example, on January 24, 1888, an emerald ball was held in St. Petersburg, at which all those present were dressed in the appropriate color), dresses for girls were sewn in white or pastel colors - blue, pink, ivory. Gloves were matched to the dress to match the dress or white (it was considered tasteless to wear rings over gloves). Ladies could decorate themselves with a headdress - for example, a beret. The girls were encouraged to have a modest hairstyle. In any case, the neck had to be exposed. Ladies' jewelry could be anything - the main thing is that they are chosen with taste. Girls should appear at balls with a minimum amount of jewelry - a pendant around the neck, a modest bracelet.

The cut of ball gowns depended on fashion, but one thing remained unchanged in it - an open neck and shoulders. With such a cut of the dress, neither a lady nor a girl could appear in the world without jewelry around the neck - a chain with a pendant, a necklace - something must have been worn. Felix Yusupov in his memoirs describes such a case: his parents, Count Sumarokov-Elston and Princess Yusupova, went to a performance at the Mariinsky Theater. During the intermission, the maid of honor of Empress Maria Feodorovna came into their box and asked the princess to remove the family diamond that hung around the neck of Zinaida Yusupova, since the empress did not decorate herself with a diamond of such a size that day. The princess immediately did this, but since she had no other decoration for her neck, married couple had to leave the theatre.

In addition, in the 1820-1830s. it was indecent for a lady and a girl to appear in the world without a bouquet of flowers: they carried it in their hands, in their hair, attached to a dress at the waist or on their chest. A fan was an obligatory attribute. It could be left in the ballroom in its place, it was possible to hold it in the left hand (which lies on the partner’s shoulder) during the dance. Little things were put in a bag (reticule), which was also left in its place.

Within a month after the ball, the guests had to pay the hosts a courtesy call.

Vladimir Pervuninsky - Ball

Ballroom etiquette

Elements of dance etiquette required to participate in the ball

1. Participants of the ball need to monitor the posture and position of the hands.

2. You must be courteous both to your partner and to everyone else.

3. Avoid collisions with other couples and try not to touch the fixed structures and equipment of the hall.

6. During the dance, it is inappropriate to diverge too far or defiantly approach each other, as well as openly embrace.

Elements of secular etiquette necessary to participate in the ball

1. They are not late for the official ceremony - this is disrespect for the Hosts and Honored Guests.

2. The clothes of the ball participants should be smart: ladies in evening dresses, gentlemen in suits, gloves are desirable.

3. Politeness, gallantry, courtesy are welcomed at the ball.

4. When exchanging greetings, first the gentlemen greet the ladies with a bow, then the ladies, after the curtsy, can extend their hand for a kiss or a handshake.

5. The ball is accompanied by a certain manner of speaking. Loud, sharp conversation is unacceptable, the use of profanity is prohibited. Cavaliers are encouraged to compliment ladies.

6. At the ball, it is important not only to dance beautifully, but also to walk and stand gracefully. Do not lean against walls and columns. Cavaliers should not keep their hands in their pockets. Under no circumstances should you eat! Eat sweets, fruits, etc. should only be in places specially designed for this.

7. When entering the ballroom, you should turn off Cell phones and take off the headphones.

8. In no case is it allowed to run around the hall, especially through its center.

Elements of ballroom etiquette required to participate in the ball

1. The clothes of the participants must correspond to the class of responsibility of the ball.

2. All participants must comply with the requests and requirements of the Main and Hall masters of ceremonies, the Hostess and the Host of the ball.

3. The first dance, the waltz of the first part is opened by the Host and the Hostess of the ball, all guests enter this dance after the Host and the Hostess have done three rounds of the waltz.

4. The invitation to dance begins with the bow of the inviting person. The answer to the invitation is also accompanied by a bow.

5. After the invitation, the gentleman takes the lady to the dance area in compliance with all the rules of etiquette.

6. When moving “under the arm”, the lady’s hand should not wrap a ring around the gentleman’s arm, nor should it hang on the gentleman’s elbow.

7. At the end of the dance, the gentleman must escort the lady to the place where he invited her or any other place at the request of the lady.

10. It is necessary, of course, to fulfill the requirements of the Chief and Hall Master of Ceremonies.

Vladimir Pervuninsky - Waltz

At the ball you need to be elegantly dressed; especially the toilet of ladies should be distinguished by its sophistication. No flashy and/or strictly historical attire required. In addition, we do not seek to reconstruct any particular era, but you should dress neatly and elegantly for the ball.

The young man, accepting invitations to the ball, at the same time undertakes to dance. In the event of a shortage of gentlemen, the obligation to dance falls on everyone. To express displeasure or to let it be noticed that you are dancing out of necessity is extremely indecent. On the contrary, whoever wants to become the darling of society must indulge in pleasure with all his soul and dance without exception with every lady.

There is nothing funnier than young people pretending to be old people and not dancing, out of a desire to show that they do not find any pleasure in this entertainment. They then act clearly impolite and indecent, especially when they later dance with the chosen young lady, showing that their aversion to dancing does not exist at all. Such a manner of behaving offends the other ladies, and the gentleman deserves to be rejected by the lady he has chosen. In any case, it would not hurt the preferred person to take the above advice as a rule - this is the best way to make the gentleman feel all the indelicacy, all the ridiculous side of such behavior and at the same time protect yourself from the hostile looks of other ladies.

It is extremely indecent to invite a lady to whom you are not represented. To do this, it is best to either find a person who agrees to introduce you, or, as a last resort, introduce yourself.

When a gentleman invites a lady, she bows her head in agreement, saying: "with pleasure", "good", or: "I'm sorry, I already promised", or: "I'm already dancing." A lady who does not want to dance with any gentleman should not resort to the trick: "I'm tired" and then accept the invitation of another. So she can get herself in big trouble. The cavalier, who was refused, will probably follow whether the reason was really fatigue or simply unwillingness to dance with him. Not a single well-bred person should allow herself, refusing one gentleman, to immediately go dancing with another. If a lady accidentally forgot that she gave her word, and the time she goes to dance with another gentleman is the first, then she should apologize. To get out of this unpleasant situation, it is best to completely abandon the dance or leave the first gentleman to dance another dance with her. In any case, this situation is very awkward and unpleasant, and the ladies should have avoided it by writing down the names of the gentlemen who invited her on special cards of various types and devices, depending on the fashion, hanging on a fan chain or crocheted to the bodice.

To invite a lady and forget about it later is not only the most unforgivable impoliteness, but simply rudeness on the part of the gentleman; in such a case, he quite rightly incurs the wrath of the invited and the severe censure of the whole society.

On the other hand, the lady left without an invitation should calmly endure this little unpleasantness and not show her displeasure: not a single feature of her face should betray her disappointment and bad mood. She needs to look like she is looking at the dancers with great pleasure.

It also goes without saying that a gentleman who invited a lady and was refused does not have the right to immediately, in the presence of this lady, invite another to dance. That would be the height of indecency.

When inviting, you should look into the eyes of the lady, then she will definitely understand that you are referring to her. But if your bow was taken personally not by the one you wanted to invite, in no case show your disappointment, and even more so do not say: "I did not want to invite you"; observe the rules of decency and learn to blame yourself first of all for awkwardness, and not others; and even better - do not blame, but come out of them with humor.

In a situation where your companion was invited to dance by your friend, you invite his lady so that she does not remain alone.

In the dance, the woman is led by a partner, and all mistakes must be taken personally; if a couple accidentally hit another couple, then the man apologizes - after all, he is the leader. During the dance, the partners should not be too far apart, but should not cling to each other. Dancing with a lady wearing a low-cut dress, a man cannot afford to hold her by her bare shoulders or back; in this case, the most successful position for the hands is on the side, at the waist.

It is considered the height of tactlessness to come to the evening with your lady, and dance all the time with others. Do not be surprised if by the end of the evening she would rather have someone else walk her home. However, it is indecent for a lady to dance a lot with the same gentleman; you can accept two or three invitations from one gentleman, especially if this gentleman is one of your acquaintances and if the dances are different. The same applies to men. It is indecent to constantly invite the same lady.

At the ball, do not for a moment forget that the facial expression should be cheerful and amiable. A sad or angry face at a ball is the same as dancing at a wake.

In general, at a ball one should behave modestly, dance gracefully and strictly observe decency; jumping, breaking, taking cutesy poses would mean exposing yourself in the eyes of some as an object worthy of ridicule, and in the eyes of others - an object worthy of pity.

The lady should not approach the buffet otherwise than arm in arm with the gentleman, who gives the order to give her what she wants.

At the end of the dance, the gentleman must bow to the lady and bring her to the place or offer to take her to the buffet. Taking the lady to her place, the gentleman should bow and move away, but not stay to talk with her. In turn, the lady, taken by the gentleman to the place, should not hold the gentleman to talk with her.

As it is considered indecent to speak incessantly over the ear of your lady during a dance, so it would be exactly awkward and impolite not to say a few words to her.

At the end of the evening, the gentleman must take his lady home.

Vladimir Pervuninsky - Stranger