Rzhachnye horoscopes of signs of the zodiac. Funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac

Humor and positive. Three themes in one:

1. Evaluation of the signs of the zodiac from the position of Thinks-Speaks-Does.

2. Behavior of signs after sex.

3. Life principles of the signs of the zodiac.

Jokes about zodiac signs

Characteristics of signs in terms of think-say-do

Aries: Thinks a lot. He says little. Does it right.
Calf: Thinks about many things. He speaks persuasively. He does what he does.
Twins: Thinks about himself. He says what he thinks. Does - thinks very well.
Cancer: Thinks all the time. He says it's tempting. Does what they say.
A lion: Thinks exactly. He says it's redundant. He does what he can't get out of.
Virgo: Thinks one. Says something else. Does - the third, but well.
Scales: Thinks it's redundant. He says honestly. Does it responsibly.
Scorpion: Thinks in concentration. He says exactly. Does what you like.
Sagittarius: He thinks - that only he ... He says - that everything except him .. He does it - by proxy.
Capricorn: He thinks what comes to mind. He says what he thinks. Does what he can.
Aquarius: He thinks - “what do you need?” Says - "well, if necessary" Does - the best.
Fish: Thinks no one knows. Says he's smart. Does - depending on whether the work will be checked.

After sex. Jokes about zodiac signs

Aries: Okay, here we go again!
Calf: I am hungry! Pass me the pizza!
Twins: Where's the TV remote?
Cancer: When we get married?
A lion: Wasn't I (a) great (great)?
Virgo: Let me see the sheets
Scales: If you liked it, I liked it too
Scorpion: Perhaps now you can untie
Sagittarius: Don't call me, I'll call myself
Capricorn: Do you have a business card?
Aquarius: Now let's try WITHOUT clothes!
Fish: So what do you say your name is?

Life principles of the signs of the zodiac.

In every joke, they say, there is a share of humor)))

Aries:
1. It's better not to argue with me.
2. First I will do it, then I will think.
3. Where the rest slow down, I step on the gas.
4. I will be forever young.
5. Do as I do, because you can’t do better anyway.
6. The most difficult thing is to listen to the interlocutor to the end.
7. Stubbornness is not a vice.
8. It is easy to control the situation, it is more difficult to control your emotions.
9. One Aries is good, two Aries is a lot.
10. I don't attack first. But God forbid you hurt me.

Calf:
1. Do not feel sorry for the money to buy, sorry for the party.
2. I don't need someone else's, don't touch mine.
3. Thin world better than a good fight.
4. Do not disturb the one who is well seated.
5. Better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset.
6. Food is a serious thing.
7. An affectionate calf sucks two queens.
8. When you ride second, you save energy.
9. I hate disposable lighters!
10. The taster is my true calling.

Twins:
1. Today I am not the same as yesterday.
2. Who owns the situation, he owns the information.
3. One mind is good, but two is better, especially if both belong to the same person.
4. Figaro here, Figaro there.
5. The idea, like other products, should not be stale.
6. One TV, telephone in the house is good, but three is better.
7. Who did not have time, he was late.
8. I move through life like a scooter on water - I don’t go deep, but quickly.
9. I don’t answer “for the market” at the market.
10. I love quantity because there is not enough time for quality.

Cancer:
1. My home is my castle.
2. Babysitting others is my true calling.
3. It would be nice to stock up on everything in the world, and patience and jam.
4. Everything comes to the one who knows how to wait.
5. Meet your friends at home, not in a cafe.
6. Nothing warms the soul like the sight of a stocked refrigerator.
7. It is better to save up, but buy a worthy thing.
8. It's hard to live where there is nowhere to hide.
9. I carry my past with me like a backpack.
10. Is it really possible to wear out a coat in twenty years?

A lion:
1. I will lead you into the distance of light.
2. It is better to give support than to receive it.
3. Nice manners are half the battle.
4. The sun shines on Leo.
5. A beautiful sign on the office door is more important than a high salary.
6. I like to earn well, and even more - to spend.
7. A grand piano in the house is better than a piano, even if there is no one to play it.
8. Despite my friendly appearance, I am a dictator at heart.
9. If you do - so in a big way.
10. Why do you need the sun if I'm with you????

Virgo:
1. Patience and work will grind everything.
2. Modesty adorns not only a girl, but also a maiden.
3. Everyone lives for himself, but serves others.
4. Order is needed everywhere: both in thoughts and in the kitchen.
5. Prove to me strictly logically that we are made for each other.
6. Crooked hanging shelf drives me crazy.
7. On a large scale, I get lost.
8. I have a hard time getting the pits out of a whole bucket of cherries.
9. In every Virgo lives a cool lady.
10. Fly agaric certainly needs to catch the eye, and White mushroom- and so good.

Scales:
1. Without a partner - like without hands.
2. The most disgusting thing is to argue.
3. Win by agreeing.
4. Only fools are principled.
5. Involve anyone in anything.
6. Beauty will save the world.
7. Everything must be done according to the mood.
8. The most difficult thing is to make a choice.
9. Not all "and" should be dotted.
10. I myself don’t know if I’m for the Whites or the Reds.

Scorpion:
1. Sorry, no one to sting.
2. Every event is like a sofa: it must have hidden springs.
3. There must be a good reason to smile.
4. You can get rid of everything, but not from your own passions.
5. I sing a song of love on the battlefield. 6. Not everyone can stand my gaze.
7. My passions rarely come out, like a shark that rarely comes to the surface.
8. The world is lost without knights.
9. Otella has not yet died out in the land!
10. I look like a cactus - my fabulous flower is revealed for the elite.

Sagittarius
1. Good man there should be a lot.
2. To whom I owe, I forgive everyone.
3. The best vacation is a trip around the world.
4. The main thing in the problem is its scale.
5. My ideal is Ivan Tsareevich.
6. It is impossible to be angry with me.
7. Remorse - what is it?
8. Obligation adorns only mediocre people.
9. Worrying in advance is stupid, let's look at the situation.
10. Don't responsible person, simply must be required.

Capricorn:
1. I'm not a springer or even a stayer. I am a marathon runner.
2. And one warrior in the field.
3. Do not break the laws - another will do, but you will be caught.
4. For myself, I need very little. My property is just a mirror of my successes.
5. Life is like a train that arrives at every station exactly on schedule.
6. It's nice to talk about distant countries while sitting at home.
7. Real Capricorn, like cognac, is distinguished by aging.
8. It is worth climbing to the top all your life in order to spit down from there once.
9. Only I get younger with age.
10. I’m going - I’m going, I don’t whistle, but when I hit it, I won’t let it go.

Aquarius:
1. How boring it is to be like others!
2. If I came up with you, become what I want.
3. Prejudices are for fools.
4. The future just has to be great.
5. It's hard to be an angel, but it's necessary.
6. Good intention is more important than good deeds.
7. To become an innovator, you must first forget about tradition.
8. Sex? There are more important things in life.
9. First friends, and then family ... if, of course, there is time left.
10. I am not kinder, I am not more cheerful.

Fish:
1. Sympathy is more important than helping.
2. I can not refuse alcohol, like a fish from water.
3. Order was invented by boring people.
4. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
5. You never know what I can promise...
6. Working in a hurry is the same as swallowing without chewing.
7. Ready to understand everyone, but not yourself.
8. Willow bends in a storm, and oak falls.
9. Everyone knows that I am always busy, but few people know what exactly.
10. Do not put pressure on me, otherwise I will slip away like a fish out of my hands!

Spring positive mood!

Aries

Let's start to get acquainted with how the signs of the zodiac are offended, with a cute lamb. Anyone who managed to hurt him may not particularly worry. This villain will still not have time to dodge. Aries are compassionate people, unable to remember grievances for a long time. They will surely forgive: once on the head with something heavy, the second - on the kidneys with a foot. Later, however, they will also regret if they catch up with the offender. But in general, these cute creatures are able not to respond to stimuli if the headphones are in their ears, their horoscope says. As the signs of the zodiac are offended, Aries, in principle, do not care. The lambs concentrate on their world, where justice reigns (as they understand it). It is better not to touch an offended Aries for a couple of days (or years). Then he will forget about the evil deed and will behave as before. Aries have a strange feature of trying on the suffering of the offender. In a couple of days, they will really try to understand him, even flowers can be brought to the hospital, where the former “villain” restores his damaged health.

Taurus

If this horned inhabitant of heaven patronizes your relatives or friends, then information about how the signs of the zodiac are offended is vital. Read and learn, it will not be superfluous. It is strictly not recommended to annoy Taurus. He just has great, incredible patience. He will begin to cherish the offense, worry, nurture, without showing his emotional state in any way. When the time comes, he will put the "villain" on an uncomfortable stool and will selflessly read the notation. Taurus approaches all matters very responsibly. It will take a long time to sit on the rickety "calvary", but you won't be able to run away. Taurus will remember all the dirty tricks and sins you have committed since the time of King Pea. In his speech, he will certainly include the most important information about how offended different signs zodiac, focusing on your own. Here it is better not to remain silent, but to ask for forgiveness. Maybe you'll be lucky, and Taurus won't put his hooves into action.

Twins

It is unpleasant to quarrel with a representative of this sign. And for both sides. Gemini will be surprised at such impudence and will instantly react to insult. The hurricane will not last long, almost everyone will be able to survive. The villain should not be afraid of assault. He will be dipped into mud in words. The scandal will also end abruptly. The Gemini will never remember you again!

Cancer

People who are under the auspices of this sign are so sentimental and romantic that others, against their will, fall under their charm and relax. And they should remember about the claws. Cancers are offended often and with taste. These people have hypertrophied sensitivity. Any little thing can hurt them and plunge into the abyss of angry experiences. Notice such a change in mood, immediately sincerely repent! In the first moments, the villain still has a chance to leave without much loss. True, Cancers will try to thoroughly check the offender for the truth of repentance, expecting a dirty trick. You need to convince with all your might, otherwise a terrible revenge awaits you. Her Cancers are cooked with pleasure, trying to touch the especially thin strings of the soul of the villain in order to hit harder. Creative people it won’t matter how offended the signs of the zodiac are, they will put the comic horoscope aside. For balance, Cancers need to return justice to the world, endowing the offender with equivalent suffering, which they will do without fail.

a lion

With representatives of this star tribe, you can forget about caution. Interested in how the signs of the zodiac are offended, people read about Leo with surprise and enthusiasm. And the whole point is that it is unsuitable for kings to react to some nonsense. Leo may well miss an offensive remark past his ears, turn away at the moment when they try to hurt him. Why would he, a regal person, bother with the petty claims of mortals? Well, if you are persistent, he will growl so that his legs will shake. This incident will be over. Lions do not fill their heads with nonsense, they already have a lot of royal deeds, and even more plans. Fangs can be shown to especially annoying offenders. But this rarely happens. Their authority is so indisputable that few dare to annoy them.

Virgo

Exploring resentment according to the signs of the zodiac, astrologers have discovered a real psychological phenomenon. It is associated with Virgo. These people are generally not touchy. To hurt them, you need to try very hard. If you still decide to offend the Virgin, take care of the will first. And it's not that the counterpart harbors evil. Not at all. Virgos forget insults quickly, almost instantly. But they will act according to their life principles. They will put the villain on all the black lists that they have been doing since infancy. And those who are designated there are supposed to repay according to their deeds. Revenge will inevitably overtake the offender, and even from the other side, from which they did not expect. Life will seem completely destroyed, heart broken, ideals debunked and the like. This unfortunate person will also fail to connect the catastrophe with the offended Virgo.

Scales

Here's who to focus on when studying how different zodiac signs get offended. Libra loves to pout, deliberately showing the villain the full extent of his vile fall. These people do not know how to take revenge. But they will rush with their resentment with desperate perseverance and taste. If you do not immediately apologize, get ready for censure from " broad circles the public." Libra will definitely notify all acquaintances and not very much about how vilely they were treated. Black gossip is their forte. The story will drag on long years. Libra fundamentally opposes evil, wherever it is found. It is important for them to eradicate it on the planet, they will spare no effort for this. Try to clarify the relationship right away, otherwise you will be included in the list of fiends with all possible consequences.

Scorpion

Scorpio is the master of revenge. Evil in relation to themselves and resentment, these people carefully collect and store, like collectors. For every offense there will be retribution. This is not just a principle for them, but a passion. The offender will regret that he once contacted Scorpio. By the way, this is the only sign that does not disdain physical violence. He himself will not wave his fists, but a scuffle can arrange. Scorpions follow the trail of the offender more stubbornly than a greyhound chasing the beast. Their venom will surely overtake prey. Only person, which is out of the risk zone, is Scorpio's favorite. This person will be forgiven.

Sagittarius

There is no sign more peaceful. However, these cuties can be very offended. The result will be worse than when Scorpio was offended. Sagittarius will not engage in revenge planning or pouting in corners. These are open and honest people they will pour their emotions on your head. The scandal will be as grandiose as the experiences of the hurt Sagittarius. More than once during this phantasmagoria, the offender will come up with the idea of ​​using a rope with soap. Believe me, it is easier to part with life than to endure the angry outpourings of Sagittarius. Try to distract him by offering a joint trip at your expense. Hearing about the upcoming trip to distant lands, Sagittarius will forget the differences. The second time, try not to run into his anger if you value relationships. Sagittarius will go into the distance, not wanting to bother with the re-education of the "incorrigible" villain.

Capricorn

That's who is not inclined to respond to someone else's stupidity. Capricorn can only be offended by vicious criticism of his favorite project. In this case, you risk getting on his pre-sharpened horns. It is better to immediately approach the solution of the issue constructively, come up and explain. Five minutes of shame, as they say, and all problems are solved. Otherwise, you will know what is the revenge of Capricorn. This person is patient and calm. He will not throw a tantrum, he will not make a fuss. Even communicate will be, as before. He will wait. And when you need his support in an important matter, he will forget about the existence of such a person. In addition, Capricorns spend a lot of energy on winning friendship. the mighty of the world this. These influential people will also forget about you under the influence of an offended Capricorn. The world will flow forward to success, and you will be left to suffer on the shore.

Aquarius

Do you think that you offended the person who is patronized by this sign? In vain. Aquarius reacts negatively emotionally only to the rejection of their brilliant ideas. Criticism hurts and disturbs him at the same time. He will not understand, this is not the nature. First of all, Aquarius will doubt the mental abilities of the offender. Having drawn conclusions, he will decide that it is not worth wasting time on a fool. He will go where there are intellectuals who can appreciate his genius. Do not expect deceit or evil gossip from him behind his back. This person has already forgotten about your existence. His intellect is busy saving the world and generating global ideas. He has no time to think about the fools who dared to criticize his work. If you want to restore relations, you will have to take the initiative. Talk to Aquarius about the essence of the world, the depravity of mankind, prove that you have the right to his attention.

Fish

When figuring out how zodiac signs react to offense, don't miss out on the most important information. Pisces do not like to be offended, but they know how. The representative of the sign is not malicious, but will not immediately forgive. The fish pouts, carefully choosing facial expressions to demonstrate the offender's emotional state. She will catch the eye, carefully watching the reaction. Are you not asking for forgiveness? Well, okay. Pisces will forgive, because wrinkles appear from anger, but they don’t need this. But from now on, a different game will begin. The fish will try to prove to the whole world that they are angelic entities, and you are a demon in the flesh. Believe me, they have no equal in this matter. Before you have time to look back, the public will be on the side of the offended Rybka, and you are already anathematized. Why persist, you ask? They would have said right away that they were wrong, everything would have ended before it had even begun. And now you are faced with a choice: either run to the ends of the world, or prove that you didn’t jump out of hell.

This is how zodiac signs react to offenders. Astrologers have tried to identify character traits. Naturally, each person has his own individual characteristics that affect behavior in stressful situations. Observations show that the deviation from the descriptions given are at the level of statistical error. How do you react to insults? Did the description match your behavior? Write in the comments to correct the findings of stellar explorers.

Each holiday is good and interesting in its own way. But usually at any holiday it all comes down to the fact that almost 99% of the attention is paid to the hero of the occasion: the hero of the day or the newlyweds or the birthday man. But what about the guests? They came to have fun and have fun! We have not forgotten about them, and have prepared an interesting game block: a comic astrological forecast for guests on the anniversary. This forecast can be presented in different ways. The most obvious option is the exit of an astrologer who reads out his forecast for each guest or zodiac sign. A gypsy can also come out, but then questions arise - why is a gypsy so smart that she understands astrology? Therefore, a gypsy in such a block would not be very appropriate. The third option is to read astrological forecast the leader himself. This is in case there is no way to make a scene with dressing up. There may be other options, but they are not so obvious. How to show this number is up to you. Below we will provide you with some joke predictions that you can use on anniversaries.

Comic horoscope 1.
The first version of the comic horoscope is written by the guests themselves. Everything is quite simple, but interesting. Everyone knows the game called - missed adjectives. And in this game, we will skip the names of the guests. You need to come up with a prediction that doesn't have names. Then, at the celebration, you ask the hero of the day to name in turn the names of all the guests who are present at the celebration. And enter the names in the forecast in turn. Next, read what happened.
An example of an email with omitted guest names:

“Today (the date of the anniversary, the stars predict us a great festive evening! It will end differently for everyone, but everyone will be happy. At 19 o’clock, Jupiter will eclipse the sun and at this time (guest’s name) will go to rest under the table. Two minutes later, when the sun will come out from under the shadow of Jupiter (guest's name) will join the rest under the table.
At 19.25 the moon will appear in the sky. At the same minute (guest's name) with the words - I'm going to sleep! - falls face down in a plate of salad. When the Ursa Minor appears in the sky, then (guest's name) will start looking for a warm place to rest and will find it on a large and cozy chest (guest's name).
As soon as the clock strikes 20 o'clock, a musical pause will begin. And (guest name) will be the first to enter the dance floor and show a master class. After his dance (guest name) shouting - Bravo! - will run out onto the stage and arrange a wild dance with striptease elements. When (guest's name) sees this, he will scream - my God! This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life!
In twenty minutes. When the big bear appears in the sky, the dancing guests will calm down and sit down in their seats. At the same time, (guest's name) will shout loudly - I demand the continuation of the banquet! - he will drink a glass of vodka and gently lay his head on the table, as if on a pillow.
The evening will end with the fact that all the stars will appear in the sky, and under their influence (guest's name), together with (guest's name), they will sing a duet song - Mom Lyuda, come on, come on, come on! And the rest of the guests will shoot them on their phones to show the clip tomorrow morning and mock them!”

Here's an option you can try. You can change the text or create your own. It is important to remember here that all people are different, and if you know that someone may be offended, then it is better not to enter his name in the forecast.

Comic forecast 2.
The next forecast for guests is the morning after the holiday. This forecast is called - a hangover forecast!

So, Dear guests! A moment of attention. Today we all walk and have fun. But none of you thinks about the consequences, does not think about what will happen tomorrow morning with each of you. But our astrologer already knows everything, and will tell you about what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning.
Aries - the morning will start very badly for you. Approaching the mirror, you will see that your rounded horns have straightened out and prevent you from passing through the doors.
Taurus - do not think that if you drank activated charcoal before the holiday, then everything will be fine with you. You will still see this coal, and you will understand that everything is very bad.
Gemini - don't be surprised, but in the morning you will wake up with a person who looks exactly like you!
Crayfish - and you will learn to quickly crawl backwards from each glass, remembering tonight and your cries - pour, drink!
Lions - in the morning you will let out such a roar that the neighbors each neighbor will bring you bottles of cold mineral water.
Virgo - do not go to the mirror in the morning. Otherwise, you risk not recognizing yourself and fainting out of fear.
Libra - tomorrow morning will begin with the fact that you will weigh and figure out how much a normal person can drink, and how much you drank.
Scorpio - as soon as you wake up, immediately hangover. Otherwise, you will sting everyone all day with your sting.
Sagittarius - it is better to leave money in advance for tomorrow. Otherwise, you will shoot them at passers-by on a hangover.
Capricorns - in the morning a surprise awaits you - you will have new horns.
Aquarius - in the morning you will have guests who want to continue the banquet with you.
Pisces - and you will be ashamed of tonight and your behavior. All tomorrow you will be silent like a fish.

Horoscope 3.
And this horoscope is the shortest in the world! But this makes it even funnier and the guests will definitely like it. And so, let's look:

Horoscope 4.
And this is a rather bold horoscope, it is erotic! But nevertheless funny and the guests will like it. To make this horoscope go with a bang. Do this:
- name the sign of the zodiac and guests under this sign come to you. Romantic music turns on, they dance, and then you read out the horoscope:

Horoscope 5.
And another horoscope - alcohol!
The same can be done in a special way. You name the sign of the zodiac and the guests under this sign get up. They pour glasses and you read their horoscope, after which these guests drink. It turns out interesting and funny:
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Of course, a comic horoscope according to the signs of the zodiac has the right to life. Some people believe that such horoscopes are unreliable, however, by reading short sparkling characteristics, they recognize themselves and their friends.

It is a cool horoscope according to the signs of the zodiac that calls a spade a spade. Who has a sense of humor, read!

Cool horoscope according to the signs of the zodiac of the element of Fire

The ram is always right, he knows the price of everything, it is easier to shoot him than to argue. Flawlessly honest. If a suit does not suit you or you are overweight, he will honestly tell you about it. In everyday life, it is usually useless, but it generates brilliant ideas to match Sagittarius.

Leo - a cool horoscope for the signs of the zodiac

He divides people into two classes - those close to him and everyone else. An egoist, but he is forgiven for his holy faith in his own impeccability. The best in everything! The marriage partner makes it clear that it came to him along with the status of the lion's chosen one. Unarmed before flattery, with the help of which ropes can be twisted from the Leo zodiac sign.

Sagittarius - a comic horoscope for the zodiac sign

Sagittarius expresses his judgments willingly even when he is advised to hold his tongue. But the mouth of the Sagittarius zodiac sign does not close, because his personal opinion should become the truth for everyone. A lucky sign in life! Sagittarius has a lot of friends who, in which case, will not let him disappear.

Comic horoscope according to the signs of the zodiac of the elements of the Earth

More stubborn than Aries, just stubborn, while not an innovator, boring and greedy. It does not have this charming mutton indifference and. Zodiac sign Taurus is an unsurpassed slow-witted. Lustful. In affections is constant. Distrustful, wary of new people, but will stand up for old friends with his chest.

Virgo - a comic horoscope by zodiac sign

According to statistics, most psychopathic maniacs are born under the zodiac sign of Virgo. These heartless monsters poison with their pedantry, love of law and order the life of everyone who finds themselves on the same territory with them. But in everyday life Virgo is useful like no other.

Capricorn - a cool horoscope about the signs of the zodiac

Happiness comprehends only one way - breaks in like a damned one. The meaning of his life is in his work. At first it seems meek, but at the first opportunity it will give you a tangible poke. Supreme Pleasure receives if this can be done with Leo, whom he cannot stand for arrogance. Leo answers him in the same way, not enduring this dirty trick, and if at the moment of poking Leo is not in the mood, the zodiac sign Capricorn must immediately run away, otherwise things will end badly.

Comic horoscope according to the signs of the zodiac of the air element

Twins

No one realizes how difficult it is for the Gemini zodiac sign to survive in this wide world opportunities! Choice is a Gemini's haunting nightmare. It always seems to them that life is passing by, even if they get bogged down in events.

Libra - a cool horoscope for the signs of the zodiac

Libra imagines themselves to be aesthetes, unreliable, seven Fridays a week, yearning, which is unattainable in principle for the zodiac sign of Libra, because they are in constant dissonance between reality and the desired. Indecisive, and therefore suffer from nervous ailments.

Aquarius - a comic horoscope for the zodiac sign

Looks like it fell from an oak tree. This, oddly enough, many people like it. Even if everything goes wrong in the life of the Aquarius zodiac sign itself, he manages to give out advice that works! Potential criminal. There is no Aquarius without a criminal past, he breaks the law with pleasure and, unlike Gemini, he perfectly understands what he is doing.

Cool horoscope for the signs of the zodiac Water

There is no sign more suspicious than Cancer! He constantly imagines the end of the world, is afraid of his own shadow, falls into hysterics and seeks consolation from the Virgin. Disdain. He annoys others with conversations about his sores, which is why everyone, except for Taurus, scatter in horror. Has a penchant for philosophy and alcoholism. The first, as well as the second, is contraindicated for the zodiac sign Cancer.

Cool horoscopes for the signs of the zodiac seem ridiculous only at first glance. In fact, they are remembered much more clearly - after all, the joke itself "sinks" into memory. You can amuse your friends with a witty answer in an unexpected situation. Or you can take a closer look at yourself and your loved ones - to once again make sure that astrology is really a truthful and exact science.

And it is with the help of cool horoscopes that it will be easy for you to study astrology and delve into its basics. And you don’t have to memorize or drive anything into your head on purpose. Just read comic horoscopes and compare them with the behavior of your friends. Very soon, everything will fall into place in your head, and you will always know what to expect from others and what they expect from you. By the way, this is called "insight." And all thanks to the fact that you just love to read funny horoscopes!

Start with a simple example. Find out, what horoscopes prefer different signs of the zodiac- and check yourself and your friends.

Aries most often looking for a swearing horoscope. Well, what? What else to hang out with friends over a bottle of beer. It especially delivers to him when he is not scolded much, but everyone else - in full.

Taurus treats horoscopes without much confidence and never allows them to influence his life. But the financial and money horoscope sometimes still reads. But only in order to once again make sure that you are right.

Twins absorb all the horoscopes that meet on their stormy life path. They forget them in exactly one minute - for this reason they do not believe in them.

crayfish, having read something offensive or unpleasant to themselves, they can be offended by all horoscopes in general. They prefer neutral horoscopes: floral, fashion, horoscopes of pets and peoples of the world.

a lion accepts only those horoscopes that exalt him. If you read aloud to him - just skip the "uncomfortable" places, and his favorable attitude is guaranteed to you.

Virgo in general, he does not believe in horoscopes, but he will read a medical horoscope very carefully. If the recommendations are reasonable, then Virgo will bring them to life, and if they seem like nonsense to her, she will reject them with indignation.

Scales love horoscopes love and romantic. But most of all they like horoscopes of compatibility between the signs of the zodiac. After reading them, they are no longer able to choose a partner for themselves - it becomes impossible to make a decision due to a large number of factors.

scorpions first of all look at horoscopes sexual and erotic. They read them quite carefully, memorizing everything well. Then they will definitely try the information received on their partners.

archers love funny horoscopes, with good humor or unusual comparisons. However, horoscopes do not stay in their head for a long time. And they often understand them in their own way - in their favor.

Capricorn reads horoscopes in order to criticize them. He will look for all the inconsistencies and enjoy it. In the end, he will prove to himself and to everyone that all this is complete nonsense, and you need to be guided only by common sense.

Aquarius reads horoscopes from time to time and selectively memorizes them. Especially appreciates comic horoscopes with caustic jokes. Likes then to quote them at the most inappropriate - from your point of view - moments.

Fish they believe in everything in general - in signs, in signs and, of course, in horoscopes. They adhere to what is written so fanatically that they bring to life everything they read. Naturally, for them, horoscopes turn out to be one hundred percent correct.

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