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Why is it important to live all your emotions and how to do it right. Adoption

Every day we live a huge number of emotions - pleasant and not very. We express some of them completely, and some we hide inside ourselves for one reason or another, we don’t worry.

Non-living of emotions occurs if:

we have an internal prohibition to experience some emotions (for example, in childhood, our parents told us that we shouldn’t show our anger, we shouldn’t scream, we shouldn’t show our tears to others, and we taught ourselves to restrain it inside);
we didn’t realize what we felt at one moment or another, what kind of emotion was born in us (often we don’t live in the “here and now”, and many of our emotions are unconscious, we don’t even pay attention to them);
we were interrupted from the outside in experiencing emotions, that is, what we started was not completed (this happens when, for example, we feel sadness, but then we are abruptly called to the boss, the emotion seems to be interrupted and replaced by another).

Meanwhile, emotions that have not been lived to the end are a heavy burden on the psyche and can lead to various problems and even psychological trauma. Often, one unlived emotion, especially if it comes from childhood, subsequently acquires, like a snowball, other experiences and leads either to some kind of illness, blocks, clamps, or to negative mental states. Body blocks disrupt the flow of energy in the body and block communication with it.

It is important to live emotions fully.

To work through childhood emotions that still affect your life, it is best to contact a specialist, because doing this on your own is quite difficult. But already today it is possible not to create such unlived emotions in the present. To do this, use the practice, which, if performed regularly, will quickly become a habit.

Daily practice of experiencing emotions

Set aside 15-20 minutes before bed to retire and remember how your day went, what events were in it and what emotions were associated with them.
It will be good if you write down the key events of the day on a piece of paper - for example, a conversation with your husband, a meeting with a girlfriend, a call from your mother, a conversation with the conductor on the bus.
Next to each event, write the emotions you experienced at the time. And first of all, give a name to these emotions: anger, resentment, disappointment, joy, etc.
Check if you have a feeling from some emotion that you have not experienced it. Let's say you still want to get angry and let off some steam, or even savor a pleasant sensation.
Allow yourself to experience what you could not experience right away - so that the emotion comes out of you. If you need to forgive someone - forgive, if you ask someone for forgiveness - ask mentally, if you left something unsaid to someone - speak out as if the person was standing in front of you.

If some negative emotion does not want to leave, there are several options for working with it. I will introduce you to some techniques, and you can try and find the one that suits you.

6 Ways to Let Emotions Come Out

1st option - "inflate" the emotion and exhale

To do this, you need to get up, close your eyes, put your feet shoulder-width apart and evoke this emotion in yourself, bring it to the limit. Raise your hands up, taking a deep breath, and as you exhale with a noisy “ha”, release the emotion from yourself. So you need to do as many times as it takes for the emotion to go away completely.

2nd way - fill the emotion with love

As many Eastern teachers say, in order for the enemy to stop worrying you - love him. It's the same with emotion. For example, you need to accept and fill your anger with love. To do this, you can represent the emotion in the form of something - for example, a ball or little boy crying in the corner - and send him your love.

3rd way - express emotion creatively

Through singing, drawing, dancing, etc., that is, through some kind of creativity. You can dance your anger, or sing your sadness, or draw your disappointment and then burn it.

4th way - "merge the negative" in Simoron

You have probably heard about Simoron, where all problems are solved easily and effortlessly. You can take some kind of jar, pour water into it, you can even tint it with paint in the color of your emotion, put your negative emotion in it and ... flush it down the toilet! This method should not be used all the time 😉

5th way - talk with emotion

Thank her and let her go. It is no secret that what is happening in our lives is for our benefit, gaining experience and awareness. Tell your negative emotion: "I thank you! I thank you for the wisdom you bring to me! I thank you for realizing where I lose my strength and break the harmony of life! I thank you for showing up in my life so that I can understand and embrace this experience for my highest good! Now that I've realized this, I'm letting you go!"

6th way - "step forward, step back"

Especially suitable for those who find it difficult to allow themselves to let their emotions out. In this technique, when you take a step forward, you become, as it were, not yourself, but the person who allows yourself to release emotion, and you do it. And when you come back, then come back to your normal state. That is, a step forward - splash out anger, aggression ... Step back - enter a calm state. If you feel that something is left inside, - again a step forward ...

Remember that every negative emotion that is not released outside destroys you from the inside. Take care of yourself to be healthy and happy!

When something traumatic happens in life, we begin to look for reasons or try to forget.

Often in our lives it happens that we leave our emotional traumas halfway.

After a divorce, women often switch to new relationships or find an outlet in children, religion or creativity. Losing some life opportunities, a woman tries not to think about it, to forget, to turn her attention to something else, comforting herself with numerous “buts”.

Having lost a child (miscarriage, abortion, miscarriage), a woman leaves all her emotions and focuses on prayers and awareness of the reasons for what happened.

When something traumatic happens in life, we begin to look for causes, exits and relief, or try to forget. But pain and trauma don't go anywhere, they remain deep inside us and prevent us from feeling the fullness of life and joy. And on especially gloomy days, we think about how it could have been if not for ... .

Because of the unlived to the end psychological trauma, negative emotions continue to visit us year after year, until we learn to live with this background pain - “Well, it happened, this is my cross and I have to carry it to the end.”

In addition to internal dissatisfaction and depression, unlived emotions shape the events in our life. They are looking for an opportunity to incarnate, finally, to the fullest, so that the woman can live and let them go. And each new escape from pain brings the woman back to this circle.

A close friend of mine lost her baby during childbirth. It happened in Soviet time. Crying and mourning was not accepted. More for a long time she was kept in the maternity hospital, where she could not free herself from her pain. She spent five crazy days at the maternity hospital, watching happy mothers who feed their newborn babies. She just suppressed her emotions.

Leaving the hospital, an ordinary life awaited her, without consolation and sympathy, without the opportunity to remain alone and simply realize what had happened. She was not even shown her dead child. Time helped to hide this pain deeper. And a year later she became pregnant again. All 9 months of pregnancy she walked in wild stress, in fear and foreboding of trouble. As a result, a boy was born, who began to get seriously ill.

The next pregnancy - again the emotions of horror and fear. A daughter was born who almost died in infancy. Her children were very sick and weak. All 7-10 years of their growing up, the mother was in fear. Can you imagine what life is like?

Another case.

A woman meets a man, falls in love with him, begins to feel his heart. And then he offers to leave and disappears. She will wait for another year and believe that he will return. She will not build relationships with men, with worthy men with which could create happiness. Why? Past relationships are not over yet.

When some kind of pain does not find its end, remains unlived - our consciousness will scroll through it until it finds a way out in reality.

That is why the fears that we carefully drive away from ourselves are very often realized. We do not live through them, we run away from them, but our consciousness strives for harmony and liberation from fears - that is why they overtake us again and again.

Unlived emotions, like an unfinished film, an unfinished verse. Our consciousness is forced to return to it again and again in order to complete what we started and calm down.

And in this case, for consciousness, any ending is better than a broken (even on something good) scenario.

Unlived emotions from parting with a man

It is the eternal fear of being abandoned. And it can work from scratch.

Before marriage, I dated a guy for 6 years. I had very strong feelings but he was completely unpredictable. He could disappear for two months, then return again, as if nothing had happened. During this time, I went crazy, did not understand what was happening, he did not answer calls and messages. And so it went on all the time, until one day he left forever.

Everything was as usual, only he never returned. A year of my waiting has passed. And after a while I got married.

But this horror of an unlived parting was immediately reflected in my family. As soon as my husband was about to leave somewhere, I started to get hysterical. I started crying, I felt bad, although I understood that he needed to go. And every time he did manage to get away, I couldn't find a place for myself. But all this pain and horror was not addressed to him at all.

And only after a while, I began to live what was left halfway in the distant past. After that, my tantrums ended abruptly and I myself began to ask my husband to go for a walk when I wanted to be alone.

Unlived emotions from the loss of a child

Whether it is an abortion or a miscarriage, it is an eternal fear for children, a sense of guilt, overprotection, tension, control, or, conversely, indulging them in all weaknesses. Both will have a negative impact on the life of the child.

Unlived emotions from the loss of a valuable thing

This is an eternal search for her and the inability to live in the present, enjoying every moment.

My mother once lost diamond earrings that were very meaningful to her. 7 years have passed, but still, when she enters the kitchen (she often left jewelry there), and she has a free moment, she begins to explore the cabinets and drawers in search of these earrings, wailing and nervous, asking for the one million fifty-fifth time me, I didn't see them.

Unlived emotions from the loss of an animal

Fear of other animals, eternal sadness at the sight of a similar dog or cat, a feeling of longing at the sight of how others enjoy their relationship with animals.

As long as we have left the unfinished script within ourselves, our peace of mind will never be absolute. There will always be something to pull from the inside and make you worry from scratch. Therefore, there are key moments in life that you need to live to the end.

What are the situations that need to be experienced?

Divorce (separation)
husband's death
abortion
miscarriage
loss of a child
death loved one
death of a beloved animal
loss of something important
diseases of one's own and loved ones
shameful situation from the past
rejection of a situation
unacknowledged emotions (unexpressed love or gratitude)
unpaid debt (moral, moral or material).

We leave behind "tails" not only of unlived pain, but also of unlived love. And then they send us similar people and teach us to love again and again.

How to live a situation from the past?

First, you need to remember it. Often our consciousness displaces especially painful situations from memory so that we have the ability to live at least at the minimum speed. And when we gain strength to live it, the memory suddenly returns.

Often, in psychotherapeutic sessions, clients recall such traumatic situations from the past that, it would seem, are simply impossible to forget. But the wise psyche simply forced me to do it. After remembering the situation - return it to her emotional colors, return to her the pain that you have frozen inside yourself.

Look at this pain (emotion, feeling):

How big is it?
Are you strong enough now to live through it?
How long do you need to live it?
How should you live it so that it comes out of you?

If you feel that the injury is very great, then most likely you won't be able to handle it yourself. Consider visiting a psychologist.

If the unlived emotion fits within your capabilities, then give yourself the opportunity to live it. You need to allow yourself to grieve, sob and even howl your emotions. Give yourself the opportunity to reach the very end of the scenario, live through all the fears and, having cleared them, open up to love and lightness.

In psychology, there is such a practice when we bring any fear to the very end, and after that it goes away. After that comes peace and self-confidence.

IN Chinese culture There is a wonderful technique for releasing pain. If there is a sensation of pain somewhere in the body, then you need to pay attention to this pain, consciously bring it to the limit, and after that it goes away.

The same goes for our emotions. You need to live everything to the end, go through the most terrible fears in your mind and let go of the situation.

Someone needs to do it gradually, because the psyche is not ready to live everything at once. And someone can release all the pain in one psychological therapy and allow the situation to burn itself out in an hour.

How it's done?

Give yourself time to mourn.

Choose a day or days in which you will consciously experience your emotions about a situation.

Pay conscious attention to it.

Let it be sincere. Someone will quietly cry at the window, wrapped in a blanket. Someone will cry and roll on the floor, someone will howl into the pillow, while others will growl and beat everything around.

If you need words, then connect them too. Speak out all that's left jammed and blocked.

Phrases can be anything:

"Please forgive me…"
"How could you!"
“It hurts so much. God, how it hurts me!!!"
"I love you…".

Some phrases you will want to shout not once, but dozens or even hundreds of times. So this emotion was sharp and clamped. Just repeat these words. With each new repetition, the emotion will come out, after which calmness will come.

Try not to dwell on one thought for too long and logically move on, no matter how scary it is.

For example, if the situation is related to a breakup, then at first a woman can simply experience stress and just cry for 30 minutes - “How could you!”. After the process of accepting that he did it, and it happened, then the next, logical thought - “I am now all alone. I will never love again."

For another 20 minutes, a woman may be in the process of living her loneliness. And then despair replaces fear - “What am I going to do now ?! How will I live?!”

She lives in fear of life without a man. The next berth of her emotions, when she had already accepted that there would be another life, another fear comes - “It will be hard for me! I can not stand".

She will be in this for a while. But when the emotions come out and she feels that in fact she can stand it and be able to, then absolutely unexpected realizations can turn on - “But in fact, I really need this. It will bring this into my life!”

Thus, a woman in a logical chain comes to love. This is an approximate diagram. And usually it takes a little longer to live each stage.

After each stage of living, ask yourself the question - “And then what?”

If you live in fear, then go into it and ask - "And what will happen next?"

For example: "I'm afraid of losing my job." After that, you imagine that you have lost her, you live in fear and horror, and then you ask yourself: “Now what?”

Some of you in living your fears will go as far as living the fear of death. And going through it is completely normal and natural. A full life begins only after overcoming the fear of death. As long as you are afraid of death, you are not living. The fear of death takes away the colors of life.

I conducted the training "Living the experience of death", after which people's lives became many times more conscious, there were true values and there was time for the most important things.

Time for mourning and living during each day should be limited.

There is a risk - to plunge deeply into emotions and start the processes of self-destruction. The maximum stay per day is 2.5-3 hours. After that, you must definitely take a walk, do business or children. The process of living will continue inside.

The first day is the most difficult because that is when the maximum amount of pain is released. By the second day it becomes much easier and calmer.

Sometimes, after one day of mourning, our mind habitually wants to climb into the shell and experience nothing more. It is necessary to understand this and consciously go into these emotions. We will live them to the state of emptiness, lightness and love.

After the situation is lived, it will become calmer inside. The first signal that the process of mourning is ending is the state of emptiness inside.

For some, it will be unpleasant and even a little wild, because the huge space inside of us has been filled with pain all this time. Now, when there is an emptiness, you yourself choose how to fill it. You have freed your soul "vessel" from pain.

You can send gratitude and love there, because these are the best inhabitants of our soul, who create and protect us. You can fill this void with God and holiness.

The choice is yours, but it is necessary to be filled, because according to the law of similarity, if we do not fill this place with something new, energy similar to the past will be attracted there.

Thank your situation for the lessons it has brought, see how it taught you to love and accept. Recognize its value.

If you observe excessive emotionality and slight hysteria in yourself, obsession with negative emotions, a weak heart, if you are pregnant, then you need to go into this practice very carefully, clearly limiting yourself in time so as not to plunge deep into your grief.

In any case, an unlived emotion must be brought to an end. And it doesn't matter which way you do it - working with a psychologist, crying in a closed room or writing letters.

After that, it leaves your subtle body, leaving room for something new, important and valuable!

Psychological secrets of a successful woman:

The bad needs to be lived to the end and let go: fears, resentment, illness. Only then do you have real chance avoid them in later life. After all, you have already lived this experience, why do you need it in reality?
The desired, on the contrary, should never be watched to the end in your head. Never let your dreams go in your head for too long! The longest period of enjoying thoughts is 2-3 seconds, then you need to drive them away from yourself and do business. And then our consciousness will certainly want to enjoy it, to watch it to the end, to live it out. And for this, he will have to create it in reality, because you did not let it reach the end in your head!

Try to experience emotions as they come. Then your life will be bright and rich. You will feel alive and real.

Do not preserve the pain - learn to live it the moment it comes, then you will avoid many diseases, distrust of people, closed and broken heart that prevents our dreams from being realized!
Don't hide love because sometimes it is too late to say the main words! Love, feel life - both in sorrow and in joy, because often it is great pain that subsequently reveals divine and unconditional love in us.
Why are repressed emotions dangerous? Why is it important be able to live emotions to the end? What harm does pent-up anger and irritation do? How do unresolved negative emotions affect your life? How to learn to live emotions? You will find answers to these questions below.

IN Lately a lot of attention is paid to emotional intelligence - this can be seen in books, articles on the Internet and other media. The thing is that people have finally realized how important the emotional component of human life is.

In this article, I would like to touch on a very important aspect - the need for emotional hygiene. This is my last good habit for this year. Everything started.

We all heard from childhood: don't cry, don't scream, etc. Therefore, most people are ashamed to express their emotions, they are used to restraining and suppressing them. On at first glance it seems that such behavior is a manifestation of power. But by no means, this is not always the case.

Why are repressed emotions dangerous?

Despite the fact that it seems to you that you have dealt with them, in fact - they have not gone anywhere, but only lurk deeper in your psyche, moving to an unconscious level. If a lot of repressed feelings accumulate (often this happens when the repression and denial of experienced emotions becomes a habit), they start looking for a way out, which manifests itself in the form of depression, anxiety, panic attacks and psychosomatic illnesses.

But if you learn how to live negative emotions correctly, they will not be harmful, on the contrary, they will enrich your experience, make life brighter, and your health stronger. will not interfere with the feeling of joy and happiness, which would otherwise be much weaker. Below I will describe the technique of living emotions, it personally helped me a lot, but with it you need to work rather than just being aware of it.

Why is it important to be able to live emotions to the end?

Any feeling that arises has its own reason, and if you experience anger, for example, it would be good look at it and understand what it is trying to convey instead of resisting it. When we are in the mode of struggle and resistance, we do not see the problem itself and cannot solve it.

Every time an emotion is restrained, it drives deeper and deeper, and there is nothing left for it but to start looking for another way out, and this, as I wrote above, does not end with anything good for us.

What harm does pent-up anger and irritation do?

It is believed that ashamed to express negative emotions, but by continuously accumulating them, you unlearn how to enjoy life and become a person who finds it harder and harder to restrain himself. It's like a spring is being compressed inside of you. It is not known when the limit will come and the destructive power of the accumulated anger will spill out on others, and in this way you can cause irreparable harm to yourself.

According to Chinese medicine, accumulated anger and irritation cause huge health problems - gastritis, ulcers, tumors of the pancreas and liver, mastopathy, breast cancer, constipation, gas, insomnia, panic attacks and more. If this anger suddenly pours out with all its might on another person, it can destroy his health as well. That's why suppression of emotions and feelings is not an option!

How do unresolved negative emotions affect your life?

When we suppress feelings, deny them, hide them deep inside ourselves, instead of accept and live, they retain power over us and are very disturbing, because they provoke unpleasant situations when they can finally get a way out. And such situations are repeated until we learn to recognize, observe and live our emotions.

So, for example, when a person is disappointed in love and has not lived through these feelings to the end, he can unconsciously attract circumstances where this situation will repeat itself again and again. Or if he was offended, and he “buried” it deeper, this feeling will provoke others to offend him further.

How to learn to live emotions?

First of all, you need to understand that expression of emotions is a natural need, there is nothing to be ashamed of. And avoiding the emergence of negative emotions is completely impossible. We are all social beings, communication implies the presence of different views and the emergence conflict situations. Therefore, it is necessary to learn how to live emotions correctly - this is emotional hygiene that will make your life happier and healthier.

So, what do you need to do to "live" emotions?
1. As soon as you feel discomfort from the arising emotion, turn on self-monitoring, see where this emotion is in the body, how it feels, what it does to your body (you start to sweat, tremble, your cheeks turn red, your breathing becomes faster, etc.). Name this emotion, realize what feeling it causes in you - feelings of anger, shame, guilt, helplessness, etc.
2. Remember that the feelings you are experiencing are not characteristics of your personality- every living person has the ability and the need for emotional experiences. So just because you're scared doesn't mean you're a coward.
3. Don't Suppress Your Emotion, but watch it - go deep into it, examine it, study it, and if you can - strengthen the sensation in the body where you observe this emotion. Be in that emotion, don't avoid it.
“What you resist is intensified, and what you carefully look at disappears,” American writer Neil Walsh Conversations with God.
1. As you experience the emotion, you will notice that it has weakened significantly. It's time to analyze What is it caused by - the behavior of the people around you, your fear, unwillingness, or something else? Why do you react the way you do and not the other way? The reason will help you understand yourself and further respond to stressful situation more appropriate and calm.
It must be understood that, regardless of the external stimulus, the resulting the feeling is only yours. So, another person in your place might have reacted differently. This means that the cause of the arising emotions is not in outside world but inside of you. Your conscious memory may not even remember the old experience that triggered the automatic response, but you can help yourself sort it out.
1. Take a look at yourself from the outside, and think - perhaps this feeling has arisen only now or you experience it every time you are in certain conditions - for example, in a society of many people. Unexpectedly, a memory from childhood, when you experienced a similar emotion, or from the very recent past, may pop up.
1. Maximum detail the situation that caused your reaction - when it happened, what happened there, who was present at the same time. Imagine an emotion in the body in the form of any form (object) that first comes to mind, name it, determine its color, smell, taste, structure. Imagine that you are pulling this object out of your body and placing it in front of you. Thank him for being with you, for the experience that you got thanks to him, say goodbye to him with love and gratitude, imagine that he gradually dissolves and disappears. The technique is performed in just a few minutes.
Do not consider doing this technique as a funny and crazy exercise - she really helps. The effect will be noticeable especially quickly when working with “fresh” emotions - they stop bothering you. Old feelings will have to work longer, and even several times.
1. Sometimes a very effective way to live emotions to the end is writing. For example, you can write everything that you feel in yours, and if some person offended you, and a lot of thoughts have accumulated inside that you would like to tell him - write candid letter(not required to be sent). If you want to beat the pillow - do it. Or take a walk in the forest - shout from the heart. You will intuitively feel what kind of emotional hygiene can help in your particular situation.
When emotion will find a way out of your body, you will feel relieved. But some feelings, such as the loss of a loved one, are more extended in time, and you need to be prepared for this, and not wait for the grief to pass after the first study.

The habit of being aware of one's emotions at first requires great discipline, but later it is carried out automatically and can significantly improve the quality of life and has a beneficial effect on health.

There is no need to be afraid of negative emotions, because they also have positive aspects, they serve as an indicator of trouble, mobilize us, and also perform many other functions. But there should not be too much negativity in your life.

What can be done to reduce negative emotions in life?

Never forget about personal boundaries. In some families, it is considered normal when everyone yells at each other, notices shortcomings, trains their eloquence on loved ones in an attempt to “pin up” harder, justifying their behavior by allegedly wanting to make them better, improve, re-educate.

And if you are in such a family for a very long time, it may even seem normal to you. But such an environment slowly and surely breaks you as a person. It is impossible to put up with such a situation. Be sure to look for a way out - limit communication with such people, live separately, set clearer boundaries for mutually acceptable behavior.

Very useful books

Emotions are lived only through the body, analysis by the brain does not give anything. Because they live in the body and exit through the body. That is, in each method, the body is involved in one way or another. If you just think, analyze, it turns out that I understand everything with my head, but it still infuriates me.

It is normal to experience anger sometimes, if you do not push it, but live safely. To be in a claim to the world, when you want to control everything everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is already abnormal. How crazy and not able to control it.

Controlling anger does not mean not feeling it or suppressing it. Control is to blow off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing in yourself and nothing being dumped on others.

Constructive ways of experiencing emotions.

Let the feelings be.

Sometimes - and by the way, very often, to experience a feeling, it is enough to see it, call it by its name and accept it. That is, in a moment of anger, say to yourself: “Yes, I am very angry right now. And that's okay."

This is very difficult for all those who have been told that this is not normal (because it is inconvenient for others). It’s hard to admit that you are angry now, although it is written on your face. It is difficult to say that this also happens.

Sometimes it's hard to understand, but what is this feeling? Learning to understand what it feels like is possible is a matter of practice and time. For example, you can watch yourself. At critical moments, look in the mirror to understand what is on your face, follow the signs of the body, observe the tension in the body and the signals in it.

Stomp.

In traditional Indian dances the woman stomps a lot, it is not so noticeable, because she dances barefoot.

But in this way, through energetic movements, all tension leaves the body and goes into the ground. We often laugh at Indian films, where from any events - good or bad - they dance, but there is a special truth in this.

Live any feelings through the body. Allow anger to run through you as you vigorously vent it through energetic stomps.

It is not necessary to go to the dance section right now (although why not?).

Try to close your eyes and feel the emotion in your body with the help of stompers to “give” it to the ground. Of course, it is best to stomp while standing on the ground, and not on the tenth floor of a high-rise building. Even better if you can do it barefoot on grass or sand. You will physically feel how much easier it becomes.

And don't think about how it looks. Ideally, of course, if no one sees you and does not distract you. But if there is no such place, close your eyes and stomp.

Scream.

In some trainings, a form of purification such as screaming is practiced. When we scream into the floor, with a partner who helps us, we can also scream into a pillow in any other way. Some important word is usually shouted.

For example, "Yes" or "No" - if it suits your emotion. You can just shout "Aaaaaa!". Take a deep breath and then open your mouth - and empty your heart that way. So several times, until you feel empty inside.

Sometimes before that they do some kind of “pumping” - at first they breathe very, very quickly, exclusively through the nose.

This technique has weak spots. For example, neighbors and households. The scream is very loud. And if you cannot relax and not worry, then it will not heal. The scream must come from a relaxed throat, otherwise you can seriously break your voice. The first time this is better to try somewhere with experienced people, then the effect will be greater.

Speak out.

Women's way. To live any feelings, we really need to talk about it, tell someone. About how the boss offended, and someone on the bus called. Not so much even to get support (which is also nice), but to pour it out of yourself. Approximately for these people go to psychologists to get everything that corrodes their heart from there.

One friend who has been working as a psychologist for a very long time once shared that most of her clients are helped by one simple way. She listens to them, asks questions so that they describe the situation as voluminously as possible, and that’s it. Doesn't give any recipes or advice. Just listening. And often at the end of the conversation, a person has a solution. Of course. It was as if the veil of anger that had been covering his eyes had been lifted and he saw the way.

Women do the same with each other, speaking out.

There are only two points here. You can't tell anyone about your family life- about the problems in it.

Otherwise, these problems can be exacerbated. And if they tell you something, you should not give advice. Just listen. By the way, you can organize a circle in which women share all their emotions - and then somehow symbolically say goodbye to them (which is often done in women's groups).

Be careful not to dump all your emotions on your husband.

He just can't take it. If you talk to your friends, get their consent first.

And don't forget to share the good too(otherwise a friend may feel like a “toilet”, which is needed only to drain negative emotions). It's great if you can cry to mom or dad, if you have a mentor who listens to you, if your husband is ready to do this for at least 15 minutes every day.

Sport

Sports are very popular now, which is great, because in the gym we work with the body, which means that emotions also come out. During any load on the body. Running, aerobics, stretching.

Notice how difficult it is for you during stress. And how nice and calm after. Therefore, it is worth choosing your load option - and not skipping it. Even as a preventive measure.

Massage

Any of our blocks and clamps in the body are unlived emotions. Of course, I'm not talking about light strokes, but about deep work with the body, with force. A high-quality massage that kneads these points helps us cope with emotions. In this place, the main thing - as in childbirth - is to open up to pain. They press you somewhere, you feel pain - breathe and relax towards the pain. Tears may also come out of your eyes - this is normal.

A good massage therapist will immediately see your weak points - and he knows exactly where and how to press in order to remove the clamp. But often it hurts so much that we stop it - and don't move on. Then the massage becomes a pleasant relaxation procedure, but does not contribute to the removal of emotions.

Breathing exercises

All emotions are experienced through the body. Already said, right? So one of the most important elements in this is breathing.

Sometimes you can just breathe through emotion (but it's difficult for us). Therefore, try to do different breathing exercises - pranayama, body flex and therapeutic options. In addition to the release of emotions and relaxation of the body, you will also get a healing effect, which is also good, right?

beat the pillow

When you are up to date, sometimes you want to hit someone. Husband, for example, or spank a child. Try to switch to the pillow at this moment - and beat it with all your heart. The main thing is not to sleep on such a pillow - let it be your sports equipment, which lies separately.

You can cry into it. Or you can get yourself a punching bag and gloves. Also an option, however, it requires free space at home.

Pound on the water

The same can be done with water. Water picks up very well female emotions. It can be anything - you can hit the water in a river, lake, ocean. Or even in the bath, the main thing is not to flood the neighbors.

The method is not always suitable for everyone, but it's worth a try. The sea or ocean, for example, perfectly take away everything superfluous. After that, you can still lie on the surface with an “asterisk”, so that the salt pulls out everything superfluous from your head.

Amusement park!

Do you know what all these rollercoasters are for? To release negative emotions. Shout, squeal, be afraid, tense up and relax. T

You can scream there, no one will forbid you, you can shout loudly, no one will judge you. A great opportunity to “let off steam”, which is what adult uncles and aunts do there. A water park with scary slides and any other places of a similar plan are also suitable here. The main thing is not to overdo it - adrenaline affects female hormones too.

mandalas

Any needlework is therapeutic. And each in its own way. There is such a technique as weaving mandalas from threads on a frame of sticks. Mandalas can be of different diameters, different "branching".

But when you weave it, you definitely put something inside. You can weave them on cherished desire and think about it at this time. And you can weave your negative emotions by intuitively choosing colors (with your eyes closed).

Why mandalas? They are made relatively quickly - in an hour you can make quite a large one. It is not difficult, even I have mastered it and have been doing it for a long time. It is in terms of working with emotions that they help a lot. Because after such an interweaving of your pain into the mandala, it must be burned. Checked. It gets easier. And emotions come out through the body - in this case hands. There are many technical videos on the Internet.

Any other craft.

In addition to mandalas, there are many options - for example, felting from wool, when you need to pierce a picture with a needle many, many times (and at this time think about something that is very annoying - I'm joking, of course).

Or sawing with a jigsaw. Or embroidery - with threads or beads. The main thing is that your hands participate in this, so that this energy comes out through them (that is, needlework with intense movements is better), and then, unfortunately, the masterpieces themselves will need to be destroyed. After all, they absorb our mood during their creation.

Sing

Through singing, we can also release pain and anger from the heart. Songs can be different, music - too. You probably noticed that when it's very difficult, you really want to turn on some sentimental composition and sing along to it!

So don't deny yourself this. Sing, even if you don't sing very well. Sing with your heart, and not with your voice, sing not to make you pleasant to listen to, but to allow emotions to come out.

Cry

A very feminine way that we sometimes use but often underestimate. When we are angry - what do we do? We scream most of the time. But when we scream, we cannot cry. And tears are female version burning negative karma, among other things.

Especially if the tears are hot, it means that they are seething with emotions, and a lot of things come out with them. You can help yourself with this. So it’s hard to sit down and cry right away, especially if you are bursting with anger. But you can put on some movie, some song, get some things.

Activate emotion and transform it into tears. Anger comes out very effectively with tears - it has been tested on oneself, however, it is very difficult to start crying in this case (but then you won’t stop).

Write letters of resentment

I have already described letters of insults several times in different articles. They have a structure according to which you write them. For each specific person or situations, by hand, pass sequentially through anger, resentment, pain, fear, disappointment, regret, sadness, gratitude, forgiveness and to love.

They can end in different ways - if you don’t want to have a relationship with a person in the future - you end with the words “I let you go”, but if this is a person who is important to you, then the final phrase is “I love you”. And it always begins with the words "Dear (person's name)". Those are the rules of writing.

Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire

There is such a sensational book that helps many to cope with their emotions. There is a questionnaire in the book that you need to fill out every time when emotions come up that are difficult to cope with. Yes, it will take work, write a lot, but it works. The good thing about a questionnaire is that you have clear questions to follow, you seem to be led by the hand, and it’s much easier for you to get to the point.

Wash the dishes

Try to take offense at someone and start washing the dishes. Or gender. Or polish your sink. In this way, we live emotions through the body and wash away the dirt from our heart. Sometimes the dishes may suffer a little, but the overall total effect will be higher - feelings lived safely and clean dishes. I know many people who deal with feelings this way.

Transformation into laughter

It does not always work, not with all emotions. But in some minor situations like everyday irritation due to nonsense - that's it. Bring the situation to the point of absurdity in your head and laugh at it joyfully. Find something funny in the way you tense up over small things, or laugh at something else, squirm funny face, thereby extinguishing a family domestic quarrel.

Throw away rubbish

Therapeutic, like washing dishes. And also useful. Cleansing on a physical level helps to cleanse on an emotional level as well. I remember one girl who could not move away from a divorce for a long time.

All her past did not let go. Of course, because in her closet all this time hung her Wedding Dress! And a symbolic farewell helped her. She not only removed it, but brutally destroyed it (this is the extreme form of a woman brought to the handle). And she immediately felt better.

The junk may or may not be related to your situation, it just helps you clear the space and breathe easier. And by the way, it’s easier to do it on emotions, there are fewer doubts.

Do meditation

There are many different meditations and options. I like one of them. When it covers me with my head, I sit down in Turkish on the floor, or better - on the ground. Perfect option if it is warm now and you can sit on the ground.

Close your eyes and imagine how long and strong roots go into the ground from your fifth point. After you feel this connection with the earth by that very fifth point, begin to imagine how emotions are collected from all parts of your body and through these roots go into the earth, into its depths.

Collect them in the head, in the heart, in those places where there are clamps and problems. And let go. And breathe deeply. Checked, it becomes much easier.

Just breathe

To be honest, this is the hardest way. But working. When emotion boils inside you - you just sit on a chair, close your eyes - and breathe. Inner opening towards your emotion (as in childbirth), go towards it. And breathe. Breathe deeply and fully. It usually takes 5 to 20 minutes to experience an emotion.

But it will be difficult. Of course, you will want to get up, run away, slam the door, develop a plate, but just try to breathe while sitting in one place. If you are used to running away from pain, then you should definitely try this method.

To break dishes

Why? Because it's better to hit dishes than people. And if this is a controlled act of release of emotions, then why not? By the way, you can get special plates that do not break into thousands of fragments and which are not a pity. It helps someone and that's great.

talk to the tree

It is important for a woman to express emotions. What if there is no one to listen to? Or is there something you can't tell anyone? Then the trees will come to the rescue. The main thing is to find "your own" - the tree with which it will be easier and more pleasant for you to communicate.

Maybe it will be a birch, or maybe a pine. Doesn't matter. Any tree with which you personally feel good and pleasant. Hug him quietly and talk-talk-talk until you feel relieved.

Dance

This is also a bodily version of the release of emotions. Especially if the dance is spontaneous and alone (so as not to be afraid of assessments of your movements). If the emotion is very violent, you can turn on some wild drums and heartily “jump” under them with your whole body, completely releasing all its parts into independent swimming.

Try it, especially paying attention to those parts of your body that are especially tight (you can dance, for example, only with your shoulders, only with your hips, only with your head).

Prayer

Universal. For any religion. If you want to experience emotions, start praying. And breathe, pray, let the emotions come out. Through tears, body trembling, hand movements, words. Prayer heals everything. And free. Purifies the soul and brings blessings to life. The most underrated way, by the way.

Of course, the list is incomplete. Surely you have in your piggy bank your own methods that you use. But the fact that there are many ways, and much more constructive than destructive, is a fact. Out of our laziness and ignorance, we most often use a couple of familiar to us and not always useful. Maybe it's time to expand the repertoire and gradually get to know your feelings, learn to interact?

And still very important point. After any outburst of negative emotion, it is important to fill the vacant space with light. That is, for example, to wish everyone happiness, to pray, to talk about good things. So that the heart, cleansed of dirt, is filled with something good. And then, after all, the place is empty for a short time, and it can fill itself up again, you don’t understand what.

And once again I remind you that these are just ways to let off steam, relieve tension, live an emotion. But if you need to change your behavior and something in your life, this will only help for a while. And then everything will return to normal. Therefore, it is also worth doing prevention - for example, learning to refuse, maintaining your integrity, cultivating a sense of self-worth, reducing your expectations of the world and people - and so on.

I hope that this collection will help you live everything that should have been lived long ago!

Very often, at the reception of a psychologist-psychotherapist, 2 key questions arise:
- How to get rid of some unpleasant emotions (more often from - fear, anger, guilt, grief, despondency, loneliness, shame);
- How to add positive emotions to your life (more often - joy, peace, interest and love).
So. You can implement such a request yourself. It is, of course, not about panic attacks, somatized neuroses, depressions or phobias. But domestic stress and emotional overheating. On the one side. And the need for an influx of positive from the other moan. It is quite possible to implement. What is required for this.
You need a simple and fairly understandable algorithm for pulling out your emotions. After all, you can talk about your condition for an hour and still not achieve that it becomes easier. What is it connected with? First of all, with the fact that emotions are not a product of our thoughts. They are illogical and unconscious. Even when we say "I feel such and such an emotion", we are not talking about what we think of the emotion. We talk about the fact that it is somewhere inside us. It affects us, but is not subject to mental control. But emotion is much more related to:

– Causal chains that describe the current situation;
– Our assessment of the current state of affairs;
- bodily sensations;
- A stream of internal images.
The first level of interconnection is determined by the motivational function of emotions. The second is their evaluative function. The third is that emotion is realized, manifested through the body. The fourth level is associated with a significant amount of information contained in one emotion. Therefore, it is difficult to express it in a word or some definition.
That is why at the moment when you need to weaken or strengthen certain emotions, you should try to follow the following algorithm.
Living emotions:
1. Name the situation;
2. Name the emotion;
3. Strengthen the emotion with the body;
4. Strengthen the emotion with images.
For example. Due to some circumstances, you failed to express your anger at colleagues or superiors. You come home and wrap the following text:

I got left overtime today (situation). I was very angry (emotion). If it were my will, I would now pick up a frying pan (shown by the body + picture) and heartily cracked between the eyes of the head of the department ... Yes, so that sparks would fall from her eyes (picture).
Or. You are 21 years old. You live separately from your parents. spent a very boring and monotonous weekend. No one called or wrote to you. You dial mom's skype and implement the following message:
For the whole day, no one contacted me at all (situation). I'm terribly lonely (emotion). I want someone to hug me (illustrate this with a hugging gesture). Or I'll wither here like a flower in an endless icy desert (picture).
Or. Your child came up with a fairy tale. And in the faces told it to you. And now you're talking about this girlfriend:
Today my daughter herself told a fairy tale invented by herself (situation). I now feel joy and pride (emotion). I still want to clap my hands (illustrated with a light clap) and smile stupidly (picture) from the realization of what a miracle is growing in me.
Yes, it's worth clarifying. The described algorithm does not negate the fact that you can be wrong in the current situation. It is wrong to evaluate it. Behave disproportionately. Being "emotionally blind" about yourself. This algorithm only reduces the degree of emotional stress. Or gives you the opportunity to nurture an important internal resource.