Family constellations and laws of the tribal system. The arrangement is female tribal

Bert Hellinger and his method

German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger was born into a Catholic family on December 16, 1925 in Leimen (Baden, Germany). He became widely known for a therapeutic method called systemic family constellations. Many practitioners around the world continue to successfully apply and adapt the constellation method to a range of personal, organizational and political situations.

At the age of ten, Bert Hellinger left his home to study at a school at a Catholic monastery. Later Bert was ordained and sent to South Africa as a missionary, where he lived for 16 years. He was parish priest, teacher, and finally director of a large school for African students, with administrative responsibility for the entire area of ​​the diocese, which had 150 schools. Hellinger became fluent in the Zulu language, took part in their rituals, and began to understand their special view of the world.

In the early 1960s, Bert Hellinger took part in a series of interracial ecumenical training in group dynamics led by Anglican clergy. The instructors worked with the direction of phenomenology - dealt with the issue of highlighting what is necessary from all the diversity available, without intention, fear and prejudice, relying only on what is clear. Their methods showed that it was possible to reconcile opposites through mutual respect. One day, one of the instructors asked the group, “Which is more important to you, your ideals or your people? Which of these would you sacrifice for someone else? For Hellinger, this was not just a philosophical riddle - he was keenly aware of how the Nazi regime sacrificed human beings for the sake of ideals. “In a way, this question changed my life. Since then, the main focus that has shaped my work has been a focus on people”, said Bert Hellinger.

After he left his job as a priest, he met his future first wife, Hertha. They married shortly after his return to Germany. Bert Hellinger studied philosophy, theology and pedagogy.

In the early 1970s, Hellinger took a classical course in psychoanalysis at the Vienna Psychoanalysis Association (Wiener Arbeitskreis für Tiefenpsychologie). He completed his studies at the Munich Institute for the Training of Psychoanalysts (Münchner Arbeitsgemeinschaft für Psychoanalyse) and was accepted as a practicing member of their professional association.

In 1973 Bert traveled to the United States to continue his studies with Arthur Yanov in California. He studied group dynamics intensively, became a psychoanalyst, and introduced elements of primary therapy, transactional analysis, Ericksonian hypnosis, and NLP into his work.

By the 1980s, Burt had identified patterns that lead to tragic conflicts between family members. Based on his discoveries, he developed effective methods for overcoming family conflicts, which are becoming increasingly popular, going beyond family counseling.

Bert Hellinger's penetrating gaze and actions go straight to the soul, releasing forces of an intensity rarely seen in psychotherapy. His insights and discoveries in intergenerational interweaving provide a new dimension to therapeutic work with tragic family stories, and his family constellation solutions are touching, surprisingly simple, and highly effective.

Bert agreed to record and edit a series of recorded material from seminars for the German psychiatrist Gunthard Weber. Weber published a book himself in 1993 under the title Zweierlei Gluck ["Two Kinds of Happiness"]. The book was received with enthusiasm and quickly became a national bestseller.

Bert Hellinger and his second wife Maria Sophia Hellinger (Erdodi) lead the Hellinger School. He travels widely, lectures, conducts training courses and seminars in Europe, USA, Central and South America, Russia, China and Japan.

Bert Hellinger is a special, iconic figure in modern psychotherapy. His discovery of the nature of adopted feelings, the study of the influence on a person of various types of conscience (childish, personal, family, tribal), the formulation of the basic laws that govern human relations (orders of love), puts him on a par with such outstanding researchers of the human psyche as 3. Freud, K. Jung, F. Perls, J. L. Moreno, K. Rogers, S. Grof and others. The value of his discoveries has yet to be appreciated by future generations of psychologists and psychotherapists.

B. Hellinger's systemic therapy is not another speculative theory, but is the fruit of his many years of practical work with people. Many patterns of human relations were first noticed and tested in practice and only then generalized. His views do not contradict other therapeutic approaches, such as psychoanalysis, Jungian analysis, Gestalt, psychodrama, NLP, etc., but complement and enrich them. Today, with the help of systematic work according to B. Hellinger, it is possible to solve such human problems that ten years ago baffled even the most experienced specialists.

Method of systemic placement according to Helinger.

Family constellation becomes the main method of Bert Hellinger's work, and he develops this method by combining two basic provisions in it:

1) Phenomenological approach- following what appears in the work, without preliminary concepts and further interpretations

2) Systems approach- consideration of the client and the topic declared by him for work in the context of the client's relationship with members of his family (system).

The work by Bert Hellinger's family constellation method consisted in the fact that participants were selected in the group - substitute members of the client's family and placed in space using very restrained expressive means - only the direction of the gaze, without any gestures or posture.

Hellinger discovered that with slow, serious, and respectful work by the leader and the group, substitute family members feel the same as theirs. real prototypes, despite the fact that they are not familiar and there is no information about them.

This phenomenon has been called “substitute perception”, and the place where the information comes from is the field (the knowing field or morphic field is the term of Rupert Sheldrake). Scientific lack of evidence and insufficient experience in field research is the main criticism of the family (system) method constellations However, in practice recent decades experience has been accumulated that allows constellators to trust the information of the field and follow it in their work.

In the process of accumulating experience and observations, Bert Hellinger finds and formulates several laws that operate in systems, the violation of which leads to phenomena (“dynamics”) presented by clients as problems. Following the laws, the first experience of which the client receives in the constellation, allows you to restore order in the system and helps to alleviate the system dynamics and resolve the problem presented. These laws are called Orders of Love.

Accumulated observations show that a systematic approach and substitutive (field) perception are also manifested in non-family systems (organizations, “inner parts of the personality”, abstract concepts such as “war” or “fate”), and not only with direct substitution in group, but also with other methods of work (work in an individual format without a group, work with figures on the table or with large objects on the floor). Increasingly, family constellation is used for business and organizational decision making ("organizational constellations" or "business constellations").

What problems does the Hellinger constellation method work with?

First of all, with adopted feelings - repressed, not fully experienced, blocked or forbidden by society, the feelings that our ancestors experienced.

The adopted feelings are stored in the family system, as in an "information bank", and later may manifest themselves in their children, grandchildren, and sometimes even great-grandchildren. A person does not realize the nature of these feelings, he perceives them as his own, as he often simply grows up in their "field", absorbs them with mother's milk. And only as adults, we begin to suspect that something is wrong here. Many of these feelings are familiar, they visit us as if spontaneously and are not connected with those events that this moment happening around us. Sometimes the intensity of the feelings we experience is so great that we are aware of the inadequacy of our reaction, but often, alas, we cannot do anything “with ourselves”. We tell ourselves that next time this will not happen again, but once we loosen control, everything repeats again.

It is also difficult for a psychologist or psychotherapist, if he has not undergone systematic training, to understand the nature of the adopted feelings. And if you do not understand the cause of the problem, you can work with it for years. Many clients, not seeing the result, leave everything as it is, suppressing the feeling, but it will reappear already in one of their children. And it will appear again and again until the source and addressee of the adopted feeling is found in the family system.

For example, a woman’s husband died early due to some circumstances, and she is sad for him, but does not openly show her sadness, because she thinks that this will upset the children. Subsequently, this feeling can be adopted by one of her children or grandchildren. And the granddaughter of this woman, from time to time experiencing “unreasonable” sadness in relation to her husband, may not even guess about her true reason.

Another topic that is often heard in systemic work is the contradictions between the individual and the family (system). Bert Hellinger calls this work with the boundaries of conscience. It is generally accepted that conscience is an exclusively individual quality. But it is not so. In fact, conscience is formed by the experience of previous generations (family, clan), and a person belonging to a family or clan is only felt. Conscience reproduces in subsequent generations those rules that previously helped the family to survive or achieve something. However, the conditions of life are changing rapidly, and modern reality requires a revision of the old rules: what helped before, today becomes a hindrance.

For example, the conscience of many Russian families keeps a "recipe for survival" in times of repression. We remember from history what fate befell many bright and extraordinary personalities. In those difficult years, in order to survive, a person had to not stand out, to be like everyone else. Then it was justified and entered into the "memory bank" of the family as a rule. And conscience follows its implementation. Today, the same mechanism continues to operate and leads to the fact that a person does not realize himself as a person. Conscience blindly controls us with feelings of guilt and innocence, and a person from a family that has experienced fear of reprisals will experience inexplicable discomfort (feel guilty) if he seeks to realize himself. And vice versa, he will feel comfortable if he does not strive for anything. Thus, personal aspirations and the conscience of the family come into conflict. And if you do not take into account the past of the family, it is difficult to understand why this is happening.

Separately, I would like to say that B. Hellinger points out the path to the spiritual that is accessible to many. After all, liberation from the adopted feelings is tantamount to the end of the struggle in the human soul, and he begins to live his own life. own life, realize their own goals. And the acceptance of a sense of humility and gratitude to parents, one's family and clan provides reliable rear and allows us to use the accumulated tribal resources and energy to achieve these goals, which greatly increases our chances of success. This gives us the opportunity to explore new horizons of life, gain new experience, discover new opportunities. And in case of failure, our loving family provides us with a “safe haven” where we can heal wounds and restore strength so that we can again sail through the vast expanses of life.

The method of family constellation allows you to return to the past and relive the feelings that our ancestors experienced. It provides an opportunity to impartially look at what happened, restore their dignity to our ancestors and see the solution to the problems that we are experiencing now. Constellations will help you understand relationships with loved ones, improve them, avoid mistakes and, maybe, make your life a little happier.

Mikhail Burnyashev, PhD, family therapist

Practicing a phenomenological approach, Hellinger points to various aspects of conscience, which acts as an "organ of balance" through which we are able to feel whether we live in harmony with our system or not.

The key words in Hellinger's family therapy are conscience and order. Conscience guards the order of living together within the framework of personal relationships. Having a clear conscience means only one thing: I am sure that I still belong to my system. And "unquiet conscience" means the risk that I may no longer be allowed to belong to this system. Conscience reacts not only to the right to belong to the system, but also to the balance between the amount that the individual gave to other members in his system and what he received from them.

Each of these functions of conscience is guided and exercised by different feelings of innocence and guilt. Hellinger highlights an important aspect of conscience - conscious and unconscious, unconscious conscience. When we follow a conscious conscience, we violate the rules of a hidden conscience, and despite the fact that according to a conscious conscience we feel innocent, the hidden conscience punishes such behavior, as if we were still guilty.

The conflict between these two types of conscience is the basis of all family tragedies. Such conflict leads to tragic entanglements that cause serious illness, accidents and suicides in families. The same conflict leads to a number of tragedies in the relationship between a man and a woman - for example, when relationships between partners are destroyed, despite the strong mutual love that exists between them.

Hellinger came to these conclusions not only through the use of the phenomenological method, but also due to the great practical experience gained during the constellations of families.

A surprising fact obtained by participating in the constellation is the fact that the force field created or "control knowing soul"finds solutions that are far beyond what we could come up with on our own. Their impact is far stronger than that what we could achieve through planned actions.

From the point of view of systemic family therapy, feelings, thoughts, and actions of a person are determined by the system. Individual events are determined by the system. Our ties are expanding in increasing circles. We are born in a small group - our native family- and it defines our relationship. Then other systems come and, in the end, it is the turn of the universal system. In each of these systems, orders operate differently. The conditions we have been given for a good relationship between parents and children include the following: attachment, balance between giving and taking, and order.

Attachment is the first basic condition for a relationship to develop. Primary love, attachment of a child to parents.

Balance "give" and "take".

Relations between partners can develop normally, if I give something to you, you return a little more as a token of gratitude, in turn I also give you a little more, and so the relationship develops cyclically. If I give too much and you can't give me that much, then the relationship falls apart. If I don't give anything, they also fall apart. Or vice versa, you give me too much, and I can’t give you back so much, then the relationship also breaks up.

When balance is impossible.

This balancing of "giving" and "taking" is only possible between equals. Between parents and children, it looks different. Children cannot return anything of equal value to their parents. They would love to, but they can't. Here there is such a gap between "take" and "give", which cannot be eliminated. Although parents receive something from their children, and teachers from their students, this does not restore balance, but only softens the lack of it. Children are always indebted to their parents. The way out is for children to pass on what they received from their parents, and first of all to their children, that is, to the next generation. At the same time, the child takes care of his parents as much as he sees fit.

As an example, we can cite a Georgian parable:

The mother eagle raised three chicks and is now preparing them for flight. She asks the first chick: "Will you take care of me?" “Yes, mother, you took care of me so well that I will take care of you,” the first chick replies. She releases him, and he flies into the abyss. The same story with the second chick. The third replies: "Mom, you took care of me so well that I will take care of my children."

compensation in the negative.

If someone harms me, and I harm him exactly the same, then the relationship ends. Biblical eye for an eye. But if I do him a little less, then this is due not only to justice, but also to love. Gospel: If you are hit on the cheek, turn the other one. Sometimes getting angry is necessary to save a relationship. But here it means to be angry with love, because these relationships are important to a person.

In order for the relationship to continue, there is a rule: in a positive attitude, out of precaution, they return a little more, in a negative attitude, out of precaution, a little less. If parents do something bad to children, then children cannot return, do harm to them as compensation. The child has no right to this, no matter what the parents do. The gap is too big for that.

However, it is possible to solve the problem at a higher level. We can overcome this blind compulsion to balance through the bad with the help of a higher order, namely one of the orders of love. Not just love, but a higher order of love in which we recognize and own destiny and the fate of another, beloved person, by two different fates independent of each other, and we submit to both of them with humility.

In the process of arranging the family, Hellinger restores balance, the order that was disturbed in the system. In doing so, he describes the existing orders:

1. Accessories. Members of the same genus, whether living or deceased, generally include:

The child and his brothers and sisters;

Parents and their brothers and sisters;

Grandmothers and grandfathers;

Sometimes even one of the great-grandparents.

In addition, stillborn children, unborn children due to miscarriage or abortion may belong to the parental system.

Victims usually belong to the perpetrator's system and vice versa.

In order for a personal relationship to develop successfully, three conditions must be met: affection, a balance between giving and taking, and order.

All belonging to the same genus have an equal right to belong, and no one can and has no right to deny them this. As soon as someone appears in the system who says: "I have more rights to belong to this system than you", he disturbs the order and brings discord into the system. If, for example, someone forgets a sister who died early or a stillborn child, and someone, as if by itself, takes the place of a former spouse and naively proceeds from the fact that he now has more rights to belong than the one who vacated a place, then he sins against the order. Then it often affects in such a way that in one or the next generations someone, without noticing it, repeats the fate of the person who was deprived of the right to belong.

Thus, belonging is violated if a person is excluded from the system. How can I do that? You can go to a psychiatric hospital, write a waiver of parental rights, divorce, abortion, emigration, missing, lost, dead and forgotten.

The main fault of any system is that it excludes someone from the system, although he has the right to belong to the system, and all the above members of the genus have the right to belong.

2. Integer law. Any individual member of the system feels whole and complete if all those who belong to his system, to his family, have good and place of honor in his soul and heart, if there they retain all their dignity. Everyone should be here. The one who cares only about his "I" and his narrow individual happiness, feels incomplete.

A classic example is related to my patients from single-parent families. IN Russian culture It is accepted that after a divorce, children most often remain with their mother. At the same time, the father is, as it were, excluded from the system, and often the mother tries to erase him from the child's consciousness. As a result, when a child grows up, he knows little about his own father, who has lost the right to belong to his system. The situation may also be aggravated by the fact that the stepfather will try to claim the place of the father in the soul of the child. Usually, such children are constrained and unsure of themselves, weak-willed, passive, have difficulty in communicating with people. The feeling from such a patient that he has little energy to achieve something in life, this energy should have come from his own father and his family, but it is blocked.

Hence the task of psychotherapy: to find a person against whom an injustice has been committed, and to restore it, to return him to the system.

3. Law of Priority of Earlier. Being is determined by time. With the help of time it gains rank and structure. Who appeared in the system earlier, has an advantage over those who come later. Therefore, the parents go before the children, and the first-born - before the second-born. The first partner has an advantage over the second.

If the inferior intervenes in the area of ​​the superior, for example, the son is trying to atone for the father's guilt or to be best husband for mom, then he considers himself entitled to do what he has no right to, and this person often unconsciously reacts to such arrogance with the need for collapse or death. Since this is mostly out of love, it is not recognized by us as guilt. Such relationships always play a role where there is a bad ending, such as when someone goes crazy, commits suicide, or becomes a criminal.

Suppose a man and a woman have lost their first partners and both have children, and now they marry and the children remain with them in a new marriage. Then the husband's love for his children cannot go through new wife and a wife's love for her children cannot flow through this husband. In this case, love for one's own child from a previous relationship takes precedence over love for a partner. This is a very important principle. You can’t be attached to this as a dogma, but many violations in relationships when parents live with children from previous marriages occur because the partner begins to be jealous of the children, and this is unjustified. Priority for children. If this order is recognized, then everything in most cases develops successfully.

The right order is almost intangible and cannot be proclaimed. It is something other than a game rule that can be changed. The orders are unchanged. For order, it doesn't matter how I behave. He always stays in place. I can't break him, I can only break myself. It is set for a long or short term, and obeying the order is a very humble performance. This is not a limitation. It is like you are entering a river and it is carrying you. In this case, there is still a certain freedom of action. It is something different than when the order is proclaimed.

4. Hierarchy of family systems. For systems, subordination is the opposite of hierarchical order in developed relationships. The new system takes precedence over the old one. When a person creates a family, his new family has priority over the spouses' families. This is how experience shows.

If a husband or wife, while they are married, has a child by another partner, then he or she must leave this marriage and move in with a new partner, no matter how hard it may be for everyone. But the same event can also be viewed as an extension of the existing system. Then though new system and appears last and the partners must remain in it, in rank this system is lower than the former. Then, for example, the former wife has priority over the new one. However, the new one replaces the old one.

5. Tribal conscience. Just as a personal conscience monitors the observance of the conditions of attachment, balance and order, so there is a tribal or group conscience, that instance that protects the system, is in the service of the clan as a whole, ensures that the system remains in order or comes into order, and avenges violations of order in the system. It operates in a completely different way. While the individual conscience manifests itself through feelings of comfort and discomfort, pleasure and displeasure, the tribal conscience is not felt. Therefore, it is not feelings that help to find a solution here, but only recognition through comprehension.

This ancestral conscience takes care of those people whom we have excluded from our souls and our consciousness, either because we want to resist their fate, or because other members of the family or clan have sinned against them, and the guilt has not been named and certainly not accepted. and not redeemed. Or maybe because they had to pay for what we took and received without thanking them for it or not giving them credit for it.

6. Love and Order. Many problems arise because we believe that we can get the better of the order that reigns in families through internal reflection, effort, or love - for example, as instructed by the Sermon on the Mount. In fact, order is the principle on which everything is built, and does not allow itself to be replaced by love.

Love is part of the order. Order was established before love, and love can develop only within the framework of order. Order is the first principle. Every time a person tries to reverse this order and change the order with love, he fails. It's unavoidable. Love fits into a certain order - where it can develop, just like a seed falls into the soil - a place where it can germinate and develop.

7. Intimate sphere. The child should not know any intimate details of the love affair of the parents. It is none of his business, nor does it concern third parties. If one of the partners tells someone about the details of his intimate life, then this is a violation of trust, leading to bad consequences. First of all, to the destruction of communication. Intimate details belong only to those who enter into this relationship. For example, it is unacceptable for a man to tell his second wife the intimate details of his relationship with his first wife. Everything that belongs to the intimate relationship between a man and a woman must remain a secret. If parents tell everything to their children, it turns out to be bad consequences for children. So, in the event of a divorce, the child is confronted with a fact, and the reasons do not concern him. You can't force a child to choose which parent to live with. It's too heavy a load for him. It is better when the child stays with the parent who respects the partner more, as he will be able to transfer this love to the child.

If the mother had an abortion, then the children should not know anything about it. This is part of the intimate relationship of parents. As for the therapist, he, too, needs to be told only that which would not drop the dignity of the partner. Otherwise, the connection will be destroyed.

8. Balance. The system seeks to equalize the balance: the children are the first to strive to equalize it. They seek to protect or start to get sick. The disease often represents an excluded family member.

When the balance is badly aligned, we understand where love goes: love leaves, and it is directed to another object.

9. incest. For example, the wife did not say goodbye to the first partner in the shower, so the husband is lonely. Then the daughter says: I love you so much that I will replace your mother. Incest occurs. If the patient complains about his father or mother, then first you need to restore the figure of the parent in his eyes.

There are three opportunities for a family member to balance the balance with love:

1. I love you so much that I'm leaving for you.
Thus, a client with bronchial asthma said that she was three years old when her father fell ill, first with the flu, then with pneumonia, and, in the end, died of pneumonia. After that, she also fell ill with the flu and pneumonia and ended up in intensive care with an attack of bronchial asthma.

2. I love you so much that I'm leaving instead of you. Better me than you.
For example, a daughter cannot accept the idea that her mother will soon die and dies herself before her mother.

3. I love you so much that I will atone for your guilt.
The tribal conscience seeks to restore balance by caring for those who have been excluded from the system, those who are misunderstood and forgotten, those who have not been given their due, and those who are dead.

If someone who belongs to the system, or someone who should belong to it, is for some reason excluded from it, if he is denied the right to belong because others despise him or do not want to admit that he gave place appeared later or that they still owe him something, then the tribal conscience chooses for itself someone innocent from those born later, who, under its pressure, imitates this person by identification, and imitates conscientiously. He didn't choose it for himself, he doesn't notice it, and he can't resist. He thus reanimates someone else's fate, the fate of the one who was excluded, and once again loses this fate with all its guilt, innocence and unhappiness, with all feelings and everything that belongs here.

Another situation that becomes the main cause of violations at the individual level is "interrupted movement towards ...". This is a situation in which a person in childhood was stopped in his movement to some person (most often this is the mother). This may be due to a hospital stay or separation due to other reasons, or to events that were associated with strong feeling rejection.

And when, as an adult, this person goes to someone, that is, is in "movement towards ...", at some point memories of that situation rise in him, even if just as a bodily memory, but he reacts with those feelings and symptoms as in childhood. For example, bronchial asthma is often a manifestation of an interrupted movement to the mother, and when an asthmatic has a threat of losing loved one, often this is a lover (lover), then he reacts with a strong attack of bronchial asthma and ends up in intensive care.

It could also be a headache, cramps, or making important decisions to your detriment (for example: "I will never show weakness again," or "It still won't help"). Instead of continuing the "movement towards..." until it reaches the goal, the person steps back and begins to move in a circle until he returns to the same place. This is the secret of neurosis. When such a person goes into feelings, he has the voice of a child, and then you can ask how old this voice is. This is usually an early unconscious trauma.

The solution here is for this person to become that child again, and already, being that child, complete the then interrupted "movement to ...". At this point, the client acquires a decisively new experience, and it is much easier for him to succeed in subsequent "movements to ...".

In the best way these, and many other topics, are considered and resolved with practical participation in system-family constellations according to Helinger.

Literature:

B. Hellinger. Orders of Love. Resolution of family-systemic conflicts and contradictions. M., Publishing House of the Institute of Psychotherapy, 2001.

B. Hellinger. Orders of Love. How life and love work together. Institute of Consulting and System Solutions, 2007

The article was prepared on the basis of materials found in free access on the Internet.

Duration 1.5 hours Master class as a gift(4500 r) for a deeper effect I invite you to go through the Feminine Family Constellations with the transformation of the negative symptoms of the ancestors along the lines of your mom and dad, the blessing of the Women's Circle of Power at the Family Tree, the healing of the Present and the resource of the Future. At the Constellation, symptoms such as: Ancestral Magic -- Ancestral Curses -- Generic negative programs -- Degeneration of the Genus (or tendency to degeneration) The alignment is able to change almost all situations that do not allow you to experience the joy of a happy human life. Problems can relate to a variety of aspects:health, business, friendship and love, development, money, family relationships.It is impossible to enumerate the whole variety of situations, the solution of which you will find. If the relationship is too complicated or something has been tormenting you all your life, the arrangement will help in these matters. You have a powerful resource released and the opportunity to live in the present, and not repeat someone else's "incomplete" situations. What is alignment and how it is carried out Constellation is a method of systemic family therapy. This method is designed to work with systemic family traumas (systemic dynamics). The purpose of the method is to correct the consequences of these dynamic System placement is carried out via Skype - at the same time, the therapist and the client arrange the sheets in the working field on the table or floor. Arranged figures (sheets) convey what is happening in the family system, based on the information of the working morphogenetic field (discovered by a scientist named Sheldrake) Practitioners of this method (therapists) have found that many of the problems and difficulties that people have are related to traumas suffered by the family system in the past, as well asviolation of the orders of hierarchy and "take-give". The fate of the client and the circumstances of his life will be affected by all the events that occur in his family system, including even before birth: murder, abortion, suicide, early death, rape, immigration, loss of property and dispossession, divorce and betrayal, etc. Violations of the orders of the “give-take” hierarchy include: the desire of parents to “take” from children and make them their energy and psychological donors, as well as the opinion of children that they are better than their parents (disrespect for parents). Family traumas (including those of no longer living ancestors) are the cause of almost any problem for their descendants: in health, work, family relationships, financial matters. As a result of this method, hidden system dynamics (negative trends) are discovered and a solution and a resource are offered to the client.

PRICE 3 constellations + 3 trainings 35000 2 constellations + 2 trainings 25000 1 constellation + 1 training 15000 By paying for the order, you confirm your legal capacity, mental adequacy and the absence of psychiatric diseases 35500 r 25000 r 15000 r Direct payment methods How can I pay by direct transfer (in this case, please inform about the payment): Notify the payment to the mailbox [email protected] website

This method has a positive and profound impact on the client's life and turns his problems into solutions and resources. Many therapists refer to this method as a spiritual practice.

life scenarios

Most mental and psychosomatic disorders are associated with systemic family dynamics. The constellation clearly shows how the client can confuse his own experiences with the adopted feelings (along the lines of the family of the mother and father).

All people live according to their ownlife scenario. This is understood as a kind of preconscious plan of life, which is formed in childhood and continues to influence our adult life. The scenario is formed on the basis of parental programming and our responses to parental programs. Fairy tales, stories, books, films also influence the formation of scripts [scenario matrices].

The basic need of a child is the need for acceptance and respect. But in our culture, instead of love, a person often receives resentment and insults. Expression of anger towards parents is prohibited. As a result, it is suppressed, which leads to an increase inthe trauma of our experience. By the age of 5-7, this pain becomes unbearable, and the child decides to "distort himself so that his parents can love him." This process is called pain freezing. Suppressed pain is expressed in the form of bodily symptoms - stuttering, shallow breathing, muscle tension, etc. Primary pain is removed by psychological defense mechanisms. In particular, such education as character helps us in this.

Thus, a person lives not in a real, but in a symbolic world. Pain from the past affects our present. To change this, you need to defuse this primary trauma. To do this, you need to find it and enter it. There is a cathartic discharge, awareness and inclusion of this experience in the personality of a person.

When influencing the family as a whole, there is an influence on every element within it. A change in one part of a system affects the whole system as well as the parts that make it up.

There is alsoconcept of family justice. It is observed if family members maintain a balance - a balance between what is received and given. Balance also applies to the relationship between parents and children. The way to pay here is transgenerational, everything that we receive from our parents, we pass on to our children.

Parentificationis a situation in which children become "parents" to their parents. In a way, this is a reversal of basic values.

How did the family constellation method come about?

One of the pioneers of constellations is the method of “family sculpture” by Virginia Satir. In this technique, the therapist invites clients to make a living sculptural portrait, placing family members in space. It was in the Satir group that the phenomenon of substitutive perception was discovered. One of the family members was unable to attend the class. And he was replaced by a stranger. Then it was discovered that an outsider can experience the feelings of a real family member.

Also on becoming this method counseling was influenced by the work of renowned psychotherapist Milton Erickson.

The practice of family systemic constellation was also influenced by Frank Farelli, who used provocative therapy. In accordance with it, the therapist has to go "to the very limits, to the extreme point."

In the classical view, the family system of a person includes people connected with him by “relationships of life and death” - relations of consanguinity or very strong relationships that may have influenced the preservation / deprivation of life of family members, its meaning. The family system includes both living people and those who have died / unborn. People belong to the family system regardless of whether the client has information about them or even about the very fact of their existence ever.

The family system includes:

Biological parents of the client (regardless of whether they are alive or dead, whether the client knew them or did not know whether he was conceived naturally or using modern fertilization technologies);

Brothers and sisters of the client: relatives and half-bloods; living, dead, unborn (abortion, miscarriage); known to the client or not;

Sexual partners, lovers, spouses: regardless of whether the relationship is registered, recognized, how long it is and whether it lasts at the moment.

The conception of a child connects his parents into the family system, regardless of the nature of the relationship (including short-term relationship or violence, including if the child was not born);

Children of the client: living, deceased, unborn, adopted or given for adoption, whether known to the client or not;

Other blood relatives: uncles and aunts, grandparents, brothers and sisters of grandparents, great-grandparents and more;

People who are connected to the client or other members of his system in a "life-and-death relationship", for example: one who rescued during a war or other life-threatening circumstances; the one who took his life (for example, the culprit of the accident, the killer); one who gave a lot of care and participation (nanny, teacher); the one who provided life (benefactor); the one who deprived of property (for example, during dispossession), etc.

In the process of research by Bert Hellinger, the laws in force in family systems were formulated - Orders

Laws (Orders of love) according to B Hellinger:

1. The law of ownership

Every member of the family system has the right to belong to it. Violation of this Order, that is, the exclusion of someone from the family system, leads to the fact that another member of the system takes his place, forced to repeat his fate in some detail and / or experiencing vague feelings of "I'm not in my place." An exception is understood as the unwillingness of the members of the system to recognize the full belonging of other participants to it, for example: “your father does not want to know you, we will find you a new dad”, “your grandfather was a pilot and died on a mission” (grandfather was in prison and died there) , “there was a holiday romance, I don’t even remember now what her name was, she said that she was pregnant and I gave money for an abortion.”

2. Law of hierarchy

The new family system takes precedence over the old one. For example, marriage creates a new family system for a child, and this system takes precedence over his parental system. Violation of this Order (when the child remains in a stronger relationship with the parents than with the spouse and their children) leads to the weakening and possible collapse of the new system.

3. The law of balance between taking and giving

If one member of the system gives something to another member of the system (or takes something away), this must be adequately balanced. Imbalance leads to the weakening or disintegration of relationships in this part of the system. Bert Hellinger talks about "positive balancing", when in return for a favor the other person does the same favor "and a little more", and the relationship is strengthened and expanded. In “negative balancing”, in response to the damage, the “culprit” accepts the consequences of this damage “but a little less”, and then the relationship retains the possibility of restoration through the exhaustion of the consequences of the damage.

The results of the Constellations justify the time and money spent by clients.

Systemic Arrangement frees you and your family from centuries-old ancestral curses poverty, loneliness, disease, misfortune and death.

* I conduct Women's Spiritual System Constellations with the inclusion of the circle of Women's Power, the Tree of the Family, the Blessing of the Ancestors, Receiving a New Life Resource and designing the Future.

I can only accept 5 clients per week - one per day. Because the Constellation requires a lot of energy, attention and my intellect. + in addition to constellations, I have trainings, family and advanced training, and for all this I need time. Please do not mystify the worda curse.

Here is how Wikipedia interprets “Curse”:

A curse- a verbal formula containing a wish for evil against someone or something, swearing. Extreme, irrevocable condemnation, which marks a complete break in relations and rejection.

In beliefs - a spell, a verbal ritual, with the aim of using the magical power of the word to inflict damage on the offender, the enemy, sending evil fate on him.

In fact, a curse is specific words or thoughts, powerfully energetically charged in a fit of strong outburst of hatred, anger, anger or envy. It's a veiled death wish.

Anything less in power is classified as evil eye and damage.

Curses in the Family are:

Rod's own curses: when someone (sometimes over several generations) cursed other people for various reasons. For example: a mistress took her husband away - the wife cursed her descendants up to the 7th generation.

Curses addressed to the Family: when they cursed the representatives of your Family. A wealthy nobleman made a servant a concubine - his wife cursed her and her descendants out of jealousy.

Cursing is a biblical phenomenon.Because of envy, anger, obsession, mental inferiority, a person becomes capable of the most heinous evil.

Attention, please - do not come to me with a request:remove the corruption or curse. Constellations have the main goal of harmonizing the Soul of the Genus and the liberation of the Family system from unresolved nodes that block the life and well-being of descendants, the establishment of processes in the present and the Resourcing of the Future.

Curses are already diagnosed during the constellation and it is not always the curse that causes misfortunes in the Family and in your personal life. Everything is much deeper and more voluminous. Sometimes a lot of symptoms intertwine and it takes time. That is why I recommend an average of 3 constellations.

Another common cause of suffering and distress ismixed up roles in the Family.When from generation to generation women behave like men, and men are more similar in role behavior to women. Roles are confused, responsibilities, respectively, too. In the field of the Family, an imbalance is diagnosed - as a result of a violation of the Laws and Orders.

The Bible mentions“Cursed is the wife who behaves and dresses like a husband”

The cost of the arrangement will increase and by September 20 the cost of one arrangement will be 15,000 rubles.

Also you have there is an opportunity to save- if you purchase a package of 2 or 3 constellations:

It is very important to deal with the topic of belonging to your family system (Kin).

After all, it is by the Genus that we draw eitherResource (Blessing development), or Symptoms (cursesunfortunate circumstances).

In general, of course, both in different proportions. But….

For many women, according to the Family, it came to lifeThere are more symptoms than the Resource.

This manifests itself in the form of very difficult, sometimes difficult, cramped life circumstances in various areas: relationships, work, health, self-realization.

Many Symptoms from Rod are a feeling of impasse and impotence.

II conduct Constellations via Skype and your problems subside, and you begin to New life with New Resource:

Relationships are improving

Misfortunes and hardships are magnetized

There is energy and strength to live

Financial difficulties are resolved

Channels of self-realization open

Pessimism and depression go away

Health improves and appearance improves.

And it's not magic! All these are the consequences of established relations with the Family and help the Family in solving the accumulated unresolved problems!

Each of us is a part of a system - a family system - of a kind.

When we meet with systemic (Birth) Symptoms and heal them - our life is reset to New Lad. The Decision comes, and after it Harmony in the Soul and in Life!

Every woman and girl needs positive interaction with her Family. And for this you need to work hard), but not as long as you think!

This wonderful, most interesting Labor in the name of one's Happiness and in the name of the Happiness of His Kind is calledarrangement. I invite you to a lesson on Skype and a New Life:

P.S. I do not spend Hellenger's constellations, but Spiritual Systemic Constellations - with the inclusion of the circle of the Female Power, the Tree of the Family, Blessing of the Ancestors and Receiving the Resource of New Life.

3 constellations + 3 trainings 35000 2 constellations + 2 trainings 25000

1 constellation + 1 training 15000

I invite you to deep work to solve your problems and achieve your goals

Bird of the Roda

7 generations that are behind each of us, only 256 people.

The wings of a bird, beautiful and symbolic!

Each of us combines two clans - the clan of the mother and the clan of the father. In Constellations we come into contact with seven generations of maternal and paternal lines.

I call the bird of happiness the seven-generation Family Card - it resembles the wings of a bird that accompanies a person all his life. Is your Family Card a Bird of Happiness or a Crow of Failures?

If you have problems in relationships, in the sphere of money, in health, self-realization - then know that a weak Rod stands behind you. Once it was strong, but the mistakes of the ancestors have accumulated over the centuries and weighed heavily on your fragile shoulders. To catch the Bird of Happiness from your Family and get rid of the Crow of failures, you need to go through Constellations (I guide them through Skype). Constellations are different from consultations - they solve the deepest problems much more efficiently and quickly. 1 Arrangement according to the depth of influence and effect on your life is equal to 5 Consultations. Your request can relate to absolutely any situation - relationships, health, finances, self-realization, etc. To work on the Constellation, you do not need to know the names of the ancestors, geographical names, date… It's important to know 2 things: What I definitely do not want in my life! What I really want, dream, wait!

Working with Rod is a way to gain a new level in relationships, well-being, self-realization, career, improve health and condition nervous system! Also on the Constellations of Victoria Volevach you are waiting for: -- Family Tree and Anthem of the Family -- The Circle of Power of the Women of the Family and their blessing gifts! -- Wish Stars in the Future and their Blessing Tips!

REVIEWS

Lydia N

Victoria's alignment is what helped me gain confidence, strength, creative energy immediately after passing. An amazing method that changes lives instantly. Reality changed the very next day. Questions and situations that haunted and took away strength ceased to bother me and a huge amount of energy was released. The conflict, which did not give rest for weeks, was resolved easily and without any effort. There was a steady feeling of the correctness of actions and intuition sharpened. There was a sense of flow and trust in life. There was a courage to act intuitively, following the inner voice. Feeling of lightness, peace and joy. Thanks Victoria!

Valentina I

Hello Victoria! After the arrangement, there was some kind of fatigue, and then a surge of strength appeared. I looked at myself, at my life from the other side, and ideas come up how and where to realize myself. It became easier, I felt better the connection with the family, the feeling of support from the family, I felt love for my mother, although I used to have some kind of lump in my throat when I talked or remembered her. You go deep into the problem and already look at the problem from the other side and understand that this is not such a problem anymore. Although only a day has passed after the arrangement, new realizations come and everything quickly begins to change. Victoria, Thank you for helping us change. And I thank Life for all the opportunities that it provides. Sincerely, Valentina!

Julia H.

The arrangements helped a lot, got to the bottom of the root causes of my problems. Of course, I received a lot of valuable knowledge, and answered many questions for myself. It is also important that Victoria works very environmentally friendly and shows what results can be after practice, so even difficult moments in working out are a pleasure. Victoria, thank you very much, I will continue! Sincerely, Julia!

Marina G.

Victoria, good afternoon. I just can’t help but write about my first results:

Today my husband called me to the city for a walk in the evening. We have an anniversary city, "Spleen" performed, and now we are coming from a concert, a guy of 30-34 years old (sober) turns to us and, looking at his husband, says:

Man, what are you doing! You are committing a crime! Shame on you! The most beautiful woman, which I saw today, AND YOU DO NOT PAY ANY ATTENTION TO IT!

Then he smiled, patted on the shoulder, like don't be offended: "Have a good evening"

I told my husband, automatically: "You see, the Universe itself is already talking to you."

But it raises self-esteem, thanks to you and the guy, and me)))

Tatyana S.

"... Victoria, in recent days my life has begun to change rapidly: before being placed with you, I worked for the staff for almost five months under the threat of layoffs. today I'm leaving for a new job! I don't know yet what the functionality will be. But I dreamed of something like this for almost seven years!….."

Victoria, I have an insight after the arrangement !!! As if another daddy in memory was unpacked .... A situation where I am a mother, and my partner is my child who was injured (injury of the spine) .... And then I decided "Do everything so that my child does not need anything, so that he has everything" So, now I have seen the most main problem in this solution...

As a result of SUCH a decision, I COMPLETELY REJECT MY FEMININENESS and take on the male function - to take care of and provide for myself and the child .... and thereby blocking my child the possibility of the presence of a strong man as a model, receiving male energy not from me, but from a male father

Why? It feels like I blame myself so much for what happened to my son that I decide to deal only with him, raise him and "put him on his feet", and I put an end to my personal life. Here it is the primary violation in the family - when femininity went wrong! I understand everything...

Olga O

Hello Victoria! You did a constellation for me - less than three weeks ago. I worked through the situation with a boring, unloved, exhausting job, with conflicting colleagues. And we decided to keep it anyway. After that, it became easier inside - in the fact that this internal conflict does not seem to tear me apart. It became easier for me to react to some moments - something painful, offensive does not penetrate deeply and does not get stuck there, but it seems to bounce off, hurt, but not deep, there are still feelings, but not as strong as before. The colleague who bullied me calmed down after that...

Victoria, thank you for the feeling of happiness that I had after the consultation. You opened the veil to my new world, filled with lightness, kindness, love, secret stars, for which you want to live, enjoy and learn the art of being a woman! Thank you for the recommendations that change me, my thoughts and my thoughts about the long-awaited future, about the coolest present and the past past.

Hello Victoria!

In this review, please accept special gratitude and sincere gratitude for a special psychological workshop, namely, family constellations conducted with me. Before, I did not even imagine that this method has such powerful force and the consequences in a positive change in many of my life parameters. And, most importantly, only a true master of his craft, such as you, Victoria, should conduct these classes! Because as a result of this practical event, such deep and completely imperceptible secrets of the family and the causes of our current failures are revealed that you can’t even imagine why this could be.

You are always there in this process and skillfully lead us in the right direction, eliminating the generic past of various negative situations and conflicts, rebuilding the present and, accordingly, the future in a person and his family. Personally, after your workshop on family constellations, my life potential and health immediately increased significantly, a special youthfulness appeared, I just wanted to live, act and be happy, see the light and colors of life, which, unfortunately, may be due to age or some other reasons, have already faded significantly.

I want to add that the hostile attitudes of people from close circles and relatives have changed in a positive direction, vision and health have begun to be restored, the creative and cognitive process, memory has become more productive. I began to feel in a special way various smells of fields, flowers, drought and an approaching thunderstorm. Some special calm perception, observation and understanding of the laws of the world, the state of surrounding people and events turned on.

I feel the energy, strength and help of a kind. I feel that the transformations in my body and destiny continue. I feel, I am sure that everything happens for the best. I become active and consistent in achieving my goals! You brought me back to active normal life, Victoria! Low bow to you.

Sincerely, Alexander D, Kaluga.

Victoria, good afternoon.
Decided to update my review after the holidays.
This was our third trip together after the birth of our daughter. All this time, our relationship only got worse. In general, I wonder how my husband decided to go with me again. After all, the last two trips we fought all the time and both times we were late for the train, no matter how paradoxical it sounds.
Before the holidays, I went through the alignment. And everything went great. No scandals and train delays))
In addition to everything, we arrived in a city where, as it turned out, many Greeks live. Everywhere Greek flags, elements of architecture, very cool. In our hotel, the sea was painted on the entire wall, to which steps, columns, mountains lead ....
Heard a lot of compliments from men. When I asked my husband if I was beautiful, he answered of course, everyone turns to you. It was great. But the most important thing is not this.
Everything started to change. I don't want to say that my husband is changing. This is true, but it's not fair to say that he was bad, and I'm a miracle. No, I change first. My brain flipped 180 degrees. I no longer behave in such a way that my husband had to "defend". I now see that there are other ways besides divorce.
While we were at sea, I listened to a training about vampires. The next day, the husband returned the debt. The customer "lost" about three months ago. And then he returned it.
All in all, I'm looking forward to the next installment. Maybe it will be possible to solve the problem with extra pounds. All happiness and loving men.

A woman with a strong family is able to cope with her problems herself. But if you do not feel supported, if it seems to you that you are completely alone in this world, if your shoulders are aching from fatigue and heaviness, this is a sure sign that you do not have good relations with your family.

Education: Girne American University (Graduate School of Social Sciences, Counseling Psychology), Cyprus (Cyprus), Kyreniya Institute of Positive Technologies and Consulting, Moscow Institute of Economics and Law, Moscow Pskov College of Arts

More than 50 trainings, 5 books: "Intuition", "Allow yourself to have more money"," How to become his favorite and only", "TIME TO MARRIED! Determine your readiness for a happy marriage!", "The Power of the Family: for Happiness, Wealth, Love" and 20 wonderful meditations.

Also: Organized and held 3 large-scale online festivals "Planet of Life 2013", "Woman Goddess" and "Goldfish". I regularly hold charity events to improve the quality of life of women with the involvement of many experts. Permanent speaker of online conferences.

Areas of work: = Femininity = Problems with weight = Low self-esteem = Choice or change of profession = Relationships at work (conflict with colleagues, with the leader) = Career and money = Fears and phobias = Psychosomatic diseases

Mission: To help women realize the value of their belonging to women's origins, to establish relationships with men, the energy of their own kind, to realize their potential and talents by 100%. For every woman to say with confidence: "I am really loved, successful and happy!"

Victoria Volevach © All rights reserved

IP Meshcherekova V. M. OGRNIP 307502708100034, TIN 502713393104

The first few times, looking at Hellinger’s system constellations, it seems that this is sheer mysticism and magic: people play some roles, feel and think something incomprehensible, move, the host asks unexpected questions and draws incomprehensible conclusions (as if “from the ceiling ”), new figures are rearranged and added, someone is lying on the floor (and why?!), then everything is somehow transformed, incomprehensible phrases are spoken and the situation is resolved.

Bert Hellinger noted that often the source of a client's problem lies at the level of life of ancestors, such as parents or grandparents. Any tasks, scenarios that have not been lived to the end or uncorrected mistakes of the past, are passed on to the descendants of the Genus, thereby weaving them into the living and working out of what the ancestors did not complete. Therefore, other methods that are limited to considering only the current life of a person, as a rule, are ineffective, do not allow to see and eliminate the causes of certain undesirable phenomena. Unreacted feelings, destructive scenarios of behavior, illnesses are passed on to descendants and are lived as one's own. Within the framework of family constellations, the study of the client's problem is carried out more widely, systematically, the sources of problems are identified and eliminated, the root of which is in the life of not only current, but also previous generations. So, the Hellinger constellations are a method that allows you to work with a person as part of a system, find and eliminate the causes of certain negative phenomena in a person’s life, the source of which is in the life of their ancestors.

In the course of his observations, Bert Hellinger identified unconscious actions and reactions of family members that lead to increased suffering (for example, a daughter's revenge on other men for her mother, who was mistreated by her father, leads to the fact that there are even more innocent victims and misfortunes, while how the problem is not solved), as well as several key laws family systems (to be discussed in detail below), the violation of which leads to certain negative consequences.

Many constellations help solve problems, some people come out completely changed, despite the fact that they do not understand at all what happened, everything looked like some kind of strange theater, but at the same time, there is a feeling that something important has happened. In the process of arrangement, one can single out a certain structure, key points, understanding which, what is happening becomes clearer and often instructive.

How does the Hellinger system arrangement work?

A person comes with a problem that he wants to solve. There is a small discussion with the host, it is revealed how suitable the placement method is for the solution (sometimes a person simply does not have enough knowledge, perhaps some worldly advice). Further, for the client system under consideration, for example, a family, several significant people in this situation are identified. In their roles from among the participants, the client or leader selects deputies and places them in accordance with how their position in the system is felt. The field of the system under consideration appears, gradually the deputies plunge into roles and begin to broadcast the processes taking place in the family. For example, a substitute mother may feel parental feelings for her daughter's substitute, substitutes for two warring family members begin to show aggression towards each other, and a sister begins to cry over a brother who died early. If necessary, some more roles are added to the arrangement and it is tracked how their appearance affects the system and changes in behavior.

According to the relative position and relationship between the elements of the system, violations associated with the client's request are determined. Further, various steps are taken in order to eliminate the identified violations, for example, by changing the position of the deputies, placing them in the right order or by pronouncing permissive phrases, as a result of which the field of the family and the client's condition change, the causes of negativity disappear (sometimes additional work is needed to eliminate the accumulated consequences). The client, as a rule, observes everything from the outside, and then is introduced into the field of arrangement to perform key actions, live and fix the image-decision.

After the arrangement, it is better not to discuss it with anyone, try not to talk for a while (and with yourself too, do not ask questions, do not try to analyze), be alone with yourself, do not leave the process, fully accept and assimilate what happened . This applies to those situations where such behavior is a way to splash energy or not look at what is happening, to suppress, to be distracted. Sometimes a person starts talking (more suitable " chat") in order to relieve stress, so he knocks down the mood and reduces the strength of the constellation, the effect it produces.

The idea to shift the function of displaying hidden subtle processes to the people themselves is very good, because. people, by nature, are good translators, they constantly work out signals from the subtle plane, realizing them in the dense one (more details below). A person has more degrees of freedom, more flexible than any other system, any other tool, such as cards, a pendulum, a frame, etc. Substitutes can move, speak, show emotions, build figures, show dynamics, connection, interact, etc. ., which allows you to more fully and vividly convey subtle processes. It also gives some visibility and is easier to perceive by others, what is happening is clearer, more natural and closer to a person’s everyday life than the form in which information is given out in other systems (Tarot, pendulum, etc.).

The method of constellations can be used not only to unleash family entanglements, but also to address issues of personal development (which is better to focus on now), finding a place in life, forecasting (which choice is most suitable for a person), to clarify and improve relationships within teams, for example, organizations (what happens between employees on a subtle level, where are the weak points, why the director stopped working well, how best to build relationships with this or that employee, what is the reason for current failures, mass layoffs and apathy in the company, what can be done, how customers will react to innovations). We can say that this is a technique based on the phenomenon of substitutive perception, the ability of a person to identify with any objects (subpersonality, a person, a dream figure, a collective, an organ of the body) or rather abstract concepts, processes, qualities and phenomena (death, relationships , reason, emotion, disease, life, wisdom).

Constellations, in addition to the group form, can be carried out one on one with a specialist, then the places of the figures are marked with “anchors”, and the specialist moves from mark to mark and gets used to the sensations of this figure, then everything happens approximately the same as with group work. Work can be done in your imagination, alone with yourself.

Systematic consideration of problems

A widespread narrow view of certain negative actions or vices of a person often does not allow solving the problem, because often several people are involved in this and the reason, the source of such behavior may be in another person, and everything is blamed on the victim and looking for (and finding) flaws in it. If you look at the problem more broadly, see a person as part of the system, pay attention to the relationship of elements, then often the situation is presented in a completely different light, and accordingly, other solutions appear.

Example "Man drinking"

The first husband of the woman left her and after a while she marries another, most likely not out of love. A woman is constantly dissatisfied with her new husband, compares him with others and finds flaws, and especially with the first. This happens as clearly - no matter what a man does, everything is not right, and on a subtle plane - a woman inside regularly aggresses, sends negative thoughts, does not respect and despises a man, instead of a house like a fortress, good comfort, only pummeling. The husband gradually begins to drink, because. cannot withstand constant attacks. Perhaps he does not realize the source of the problem, he feels that he is not feeling well, and in order to somehow get away from these feelings, he forgets himself in alcohol (see stunning). A man sacrifices himself to save his marriage.

Usually they say something like this: “everything is fine with him, because he drinks!”, “Go get coded!” (in this case, the opportunity to rest, defend for a short time is blocked, and then other, more serious consequences are likely, for example, heart problems and early death or “unmotivated” attacks of aggression and beatings), “such a wonderful woman was unlucky with a man” (the behavior of a person inside family and in public sometimes varies greatly, under the influence of various egregors, both the perception of the world and the roles played by a person are rebuilt. A woman may well be “soft and fluffy” in public. See the article about egregors and below in the text about their impact.), " stop drinking." To stop drinking, you need to see the source of the problem, as well as have the strength to make the decision to leave the relationship. Either a woman needs to figure out what is happening, where these emotions come from, what is their cause, and this is hard and you don’t want to look in that direction, because. something serious may emerge that requires a lot of energy and work on oneself. And in this case, to divert eyes, the stigma is hung that “a man is a drunkard” (a common version of the “solution” of the problem by the subconscious in order to reduce pressure on the consciousness. See the article on the work of the consciousness and the subconscious), then nothing needs to be done, the position of the victim is taken , all responsibility and blame is shifted to another. This is a special case, for illustration, there are other reasons for drunkenness and in each case you need to look individually.

As can be seen above, with an external declaration of any desires, often people inside themselves do not want changes, desires serve as a screen, speaking in this way or engaging in self-deception, a person receives some benefit. The actual realization of what is desired may not be beneficial for some participants at all, because can lead to a restructuring of the system and relationships within it, sometimes these relationships can stop (the husband sees that his wife did not marry for love and realizes the perniciousness of being with her further), even someone's death is possible (for example, when one person held another or wanted die instead of him, saying deep inside: "I'd rather be instead of you"). All objects (both egregors and people) that are not interested in real changes begin to resist as much as they can, create various temptations and unforeseen circumstances in order to return everything to its previous course (see also " Obstacles to change"). For example, as soon as a man comes close to understanding, the wife becomes “silky” (the state is often induced by egregor and unconsciously played out) and gradually takes him away from “bad” thoughts, or when the husband is ready for decisive action, urgent matters appear and thoughts come ( from the system) that it is better not to do this yet, the words sound inside: “well, be patient, wait a little more. Could everything change?" The states of a man can jump from “my foot will not be here anymore”, to the complete absurdity of previous thoughts and a lack of understanding of how he could think about it. These states strongly depend on which egregor the man is currently connected to, which subpersonality is active.

The impact of egregor on a person

After the arrangement, one can wonder how it happened that gradually a person began to reproduce other people's emotions, thoughts and attitudes towards other people, perception changed, began to feel, until recently, strangers, like his mother, husband, grandmother, brother, a lot was lived "as if by really" - such is the effect of egregor on a person. Few people transfer the experience gained to everyday life, wondering how much what we do every day, think, want, feel, live is our own, and not induced.

With the exit from the constellation field, the impact of egregors does not end, because. egregors are everywhere, a person simply moves from the area of ​​​​management of one egregor to the area of ​​\u200b\u200banother (see the example "Consultation with a psychologist"). A person goes out into the street and falls under the influence of a pedestrian egregor, which imperceptibly regulates the flow of people (you can feel the necessary speed of movement and some lines of force along which it is better to go. In the direction of those who violate the preferred speed and trajectory, for example, when a person walks across crowds or constantly abruptly changes direction and speed, egregore makes other people feel dissatisfied, aggressive), or motorists, or the subway. Then he comes to work, home or to the store - they also have their own egregors that control the situation and people's behavior.

Example "In the store"

A burning desire to buy something appears in the store and is somehow explained (or not explained at all), which after leaving the store can be perceived as superfluous and unnecessary, although at the moment of choosing it was felt as clearly necessary, almost vital. The longer a person walks around the store, the higher the likelihood of falling into a semi-trance state and buying a lot of things that were not planned at all. Therefore, in many stores, bread is placed farther away, so that when following it, the buyer picks up something else along the way. Huge racks, a large selection, multi-colored packaging - all this disperses attention and contributes to the transition to the desired state. Listing, moving fast and focused reduce impulse buying.

Everything that happens is perceived personally, it seems to a person that the thoughts, emotions, impulses for action and the perception of other people are his own. In fact, the egregor leading the situation organizes a suitable set of circumstances, puts some roles on the participants and offers scenarios for the game that correspond to the roles, induces certain states. Given that a person is under the influence of the field not for 15 minutes, but most often much longer - often days and years, we can assume how powerful and deep this effect is, how familiar and imperceptible it is. In life, every person better actor than in constellations, he gets used to the roles even better, learns them for a long time, perfectly and truly, selflessly performs.

Therefore, in most cases, the actions prescribed by the script are performed by a person without hesitation, automatically, from beginning to end, without assessing how useful they are and with full confidence that they are his own. Sometimes such reactions are inadequate to the situation, illogical and lead to negative consequences. Often scenarios are repeated more than once, and a person even notices that it ends badly, yet he enters them and works out, something sucks him in.

Example "Introduced Aggression"

A woman periodically finds a “causeless” feeling of hatred for men, she wants to take revenge on them, begins to perceive them as enemies who need to be punished. This feeling was passed on to her from her mother, whose husband mistreated his wife. It is clear that such obsessions have a bad effect on relationships with men who do not understand the periodic outbreaks of fierce hatred, aggression and destructive behavior. But the program, from time to time, turns on and the woman unconsciously produces a series of blows to "her enemies."

The solution will be to see what is really happening, that these feelings do not belong to her, but are induced, to disidentify. Many problems can be avoided by knowing the laws (orders) of family systems and the impact that their violation has on the lives of family members.

Ownership law

All members of the system have an equal right to belong to the genus, no one can be excluded, there is no division into good and bad. Members of the system include grandparents, parents, previous partners of parents and grandparents, someone who has seriously affected the system (for example, saved someone from the system members, or killed), children, aborted or stillborn, murderers and their victims, those who have suffered in any way from the actions of the members of the system, and whether these people are alive now or not, they are all part of the system. It often happens that one of the members of the system is forgotten or forced out, for example, parents are hurt inside because they had an abortion, they try to forget, not to think about what happened, thereby, as it were, trying to exclude the child from their family. Or relatives with a difficult fate, unusual by social standards, are rejected - they prefer not to talk about them, a certain taboo appears.

In the event of any exclusion of one of the members, the system seeks to restore its integrity by the fact that the descendants begin to work out scenarios of behavior, carry the fate and feelings of the excluded, an identification occurs that people, most often, are not aware of.

Example "Remembering Grandpa"

Grandfather, a businessman, went bankrupt in one business, lost everything, his wife left him along with the child, and they prefer not to talk about him anymore. The grandson is also in business and as soon as he gets to the moment of significant success, he starts making mistake after mistake and eventually fails. This is how he remembers his grandfather. It is necessary to pay tribute to the fate of the grandfather, to lovingly acknowledge that he is part of the family, if possible, to establish contact with him.

You can look a little from the other side. Genus, egregore is a system that has its own tasks (karma), and family members are elements that perform certain functions. In the event of the exclusion of any of the family members, the functions are redistributed among the remaining participants, or the search for a person for the appropriate role begins (for example, it seems to a man that he is looking for a young mistress, but in fact, he misses his unborn daughter). When a suitable person appears, the system suggests the missing role to him, he unconsciously identifies with the excluded person and begins to perform his functions. If the displaced family member is remembered and given his due, then even if he has died long ago, he is still present in the system and there is no need to transfer his functions to someone else. The task of a person who is identified is to see the real situation, to understand with whom the identification takes place, to lovingly include him in the system, then disidentification occurs, the imposed functions, emotions, thoughts, life scenarios go to its owner and there is no longer a need to play someone else's role.

Law of Hierarchy

The stream of life flows from the past into the future, from the earlier members of the system to the later ones, it cannot be turned back, it can only be passed on. For a family, the one who came into the system earlier is more important than those who came later. For example, parents are more important than children, an older child is more important than his brothers and sisters, grandparents are more important than parents. Therefore, later members of the family, often, unconsciously sacrifice themselves for the sake of the earlier ones, a special case is when a descendant begins to replace his ancestor to restore the integrity of the system, despite the fact that this harms him. And at the level of systems, newer systems are more important than the old ones, for example, the family of the newlyweds is more important to their members than theirs. former families where they were the children of their parents. Or a new family is more important than the former families of partners.

Example "Accepted desire to die"

The granddaughter felt sadness and a desire to die. In the arrangement, it turned out that this feeling and desire to move into death was adopted from her mother. The mother had many abortions, she was sad for her unborn children and wanted to leave after them. Mom, in turn, adopted this feeling and life scenario from her grandmother, who also had many aborted children and a desire to follow them. The solution for the granddaughter, in this case, may be: to see what is happening, to disidentify, to leave the mother the opportunity to bear her fate and be responsible for the consequences of the decisions made.

Violation of the Law of Hierarchy will be various attempts by the younger ones to rise to the level or above the elders. For example, when a child interferes in the lives of parents, takes the position of a parent-educator in relation to them, takes the place of one of his parents (symbolic marriage), arrogance. The consequences can be completely different: conflicts with parents, energy exhaustion, illness, inability to find a mate or problems in the family, collapse. When a child somehow abandons his parent, for example, through aggression, arrogance, or one parent is forced out by another parent, the female or male flow ceases to flow to him, which leads to problems in relationships with the opposite sex, a lack of confidence, a feeling of support.

Law of Balance

Relationships arise when one side gives something to the other. The one who gives feels a certain lightness, superiority and the right to demand. The recipient, on the other hand, has a feeling of guilt, internal tension, a desire to give something in return, and this internal feeling will torment the person until he restores the balance. So the system, through a sense of guilt and innocence, directs people to maintain balance, tries to balance the exchange within itself between equals in status - for example, between a husband and wife (see also about the exchange of energy and examples of restoring balance).

When the balance is restored, the relationship may end, because. the tension goes away, the participants have a feeling of lightness. Therefore, in order to continue the relationship, if something good is received, you can return a little more so that the tension is constantly maintained, and the volume of exchange between people also grows, which leads to mutual enrichment, filling the participants and increasing the good. If a person has done something bad, then in order to continue the relationship and improve their quality, you need to return a little less bad, i.e. the volume of exchange in the bad will be less and less each time.

For those who have been treated unfairly, there is a trap and a great temptation to become an even greater aggressor, to turn into a cruel destroyer. The victim of a bad deed often inside feels his superiority over the offender, arrogance, there is a feeling of the right to demand, punish. Various thoughts can slip through, such as: “I am good, you are bad”, “I am much better, cleaner and higher than you”, “I am kind and tolerant, and you are evil, mean and unbalanced”, “I suffer and go to heaven and you, sinner, go to hell.” The victim sometimes relishes such thoughts, despises and swells in his arrogance, not noticing how his heart closes, he becomes callous, winds himself up (an astral-mental loop - when thoughts and emotions heat up and strengthen each other), is filled with poison and gradually turns into the one whom recently cursed and with a clear conscience, under the pressure of increasing internal stress, commits even greater evil. The mind, with a closed heart, can come up with any justifications for cruelty, and they will look quite adequate (“he is to blame”, “tit for tat”, “I eradicate injustice”, “I am only for the purpose of protection” - rationalization), at least least for the one who imagined himself.

In the event of an imbalance, when one gives more than the other, the destruction of the relationship is likely, because. the first begins to feel exhausted and superior, and the second is pushed out of the exchange under the pressure of guilt and an oppressive feeling of being inferior to the other. Sometimes the giver goes to great lengths to prevent the taker from repaying, so he wants to maintain a sense of superiority.

It is very difficult for the taker to sincerely admit that he receives more, that he is, as it were, lower. it is a relationship of equals and the transition to another status is a very serious blow to self-esteem. Refusal to another in equality inside is perceived as aggression and the taker experiences in this case:

• deep feelings of guilt and desire get out of a relationship, it just pushes him out
• aggression towards someone who tries to put himself above
• impulses to restore balance in good or bad. If the exchange cannot be balanced in a good way, i.e. there is no way to thank proportionately, then the option remains in the bad (in fact, in the amount of the difference in the exchange of good and the pressure that it exerts). These may be attempts to humiliate the giver, the desire for revenge, dirty tricks and other negative manifestations.

If balance is not restored, then a sense of duty or the right to demand, to take revenge can be transferred to the later members of the system.

Example "Partnership"

The man's ancestor treated his partner unfairly, deceived him. A man is engaged in business, opens companies, enters into partnerships, which end up being “thrown” in some way.

There is another type of relationship - one in which inequality is initially present and some give much more, while others take, for example, between parents and children or between a teacher and a student. In this case, the receiving party cannot return its debt to the one who gives, but can only pass on what was received, for example, to its students or children.

Birth

You can look at the birth of a person in such a way that a child, some time before conception, brings his future parents together, organizes the space and forms the conditions that he needs for birth. Accordingly, the situation in which the child was born, the conditions in which he grew up and the parents that he had - this is what he needs, no matter how difficult and traumatic his childhood may be. In this vein, reproaches or arrogant attitude towards parents about the conditions of their birth, as a rule, are not constructive: the child came to where he was supposed to.

What happens in the constellation is, first of all, the images in the language of which the field wants to tell something, help to see the cause of the problems and eliminate them. This language, first of all, should be understandable to the facilitator, who, in addition to what is happening in the constellation field, can directly receive images, the situation must be felt (see the article “Interpretation systems”). Also, this language is not universal - different hosts can interpret similar characters differently. Graduates of the same school will have more similar images (since the same program of interpretation was laid during training) than graduates from different schools. And, by and large, most often it does not matter in which generation the event occurred and with whom specifically (a woman in the fifth generation), but it is important to understand it, learn a lesson and remove the negative impact on the current life of the client. The scene that plays out in the field of constellation may never have occurred in the life of the clan in the form in which it was understood and interpreted by the participants. Often, to describe what is happening on the subtle plane, the language is much better suited not for events, but for energy flows and disturbances in their flow (see). In this case, the same problem in terms of threads can be represented as different events, different life situations can lead to similar disturbances in the flow of energy. With the help of the arrangement, there is a harmonization of energy flows and their flow.

Peter:

tell me, please, is there any benefit for the deputies from the constellation?

Alexei:

A person who participates in the constellation as a substitute gains experience, sometimes this leads to the solution of his personal problems. Having been as a deputy, the view of some relationships and the optimal model of behavior changes, a kind of view from the outside, which in ordinary life you won't get. For example, a mother is in conflict with her daughter, having participated in the arrangement as a substitute for a daughter who is at war with her mother, she saw what her daughter really wants and how relationships can be improved.

Undream:

about the diagnostic setup. why turn off the mind?

Alexei:

The mind contains a set of stereotypes embedded by someone, how one should and should not act, how one can and cannot, it can be very straightforward and constrained by all sorts of frames, dogmas. The mind can manipulate facts, engage in self-deception, rationalize. Far from always, what the mind insists on is useful for a person, as a rule, it leads a person along the beaten paths. Therefore, it is desirable to reduce its impact as much as possible in order to find a really good solution that will please both the mind and the Soul.

Butterfly:

What is "rationalization"?

Alexei:

rationalization - the selection of only some facts and the construction of conclusions based on them, allowing to maintain good image yourself (see rationalization in the section "Psychological defenses"). Self-deception, when one is passed off as one for the other (“I don’t scream, I have such a voice”, “My anger is righteous, I only act in self-defense” or “I do my best”, the statements look beautiful and believable, but most often they are lies). That. something can be hidden even for the person himself and the picture of what is happening will be distorted.

Ivan:

Are there any exceptions to the laws? are they always true?

Alexei:

The laws of family systems are a generalization made by Hellinger based on the practice of working with family systems, the translation of some patterns on a subtle plane into words, which is always associated with coarsening and a degree of inaccuracy. The laws within different egregors are not always the same, respectively, in different cultural environments and over time, the laws and consequences of certain actions may differ. Therefore, in each specific situation, you need to look individually. But in the vast majority of cases, they are correct. More abstractly, some actions create deformations in the normal flow of energy along the Genus, distort something, and on the physical plane this leads to various undesirable consequences. Here are some metaphorical examples:

• There is a powerful stream, and a person stands in front of him and tries to resist, resists, although the forces are completely unequal, respectively, the wear rate increases here, and sooner or later, alive or dead, what resisted will float further (resistance to something more).
• There is a flow of life-giving energy, and the person stepped aside, refuses and dies of thirst, instead of going with the flow (arrogance, exclusion of someone from the system).
• Someone was done badly, he wished all the “good” with all his strength, thereby poisoning the stream, adding a poisonous stream to it. Perhaps those who have committed bad thing this will not respond in any way, but one of the descendants will fall on the negative stream. Therefore, those who are in the flow need to notice and neutralize this impact, for example, through reconciliation (balance disturbance, exclusion of someone from the system)
• Some element of the system directed part of its flow in the opposite direction from its descendants and the path followed by Rod. Descendants get only small streams. The flow gives strength and security.
• One of the family members removed some quality from the stream, or vice versa added it, and it is passed on to the descendants. For example, the withdrawn quality may be "warmth" or "joy of life", and the added "sadness" and "aggression" or "the ability to play music." The streams mix, then go deep, then float to the surface of the descendants.

Maria D:

Any person can be a deputy or are they somehow chosen? And how should the deputy behave?

Alexei:

Almost anyone. You can even never see the arrangement, come and immediately be a deputy. It is desirable for the deputy to turn off his head, not to try to analyze. Stand, pause, slow down, feel and gradually various sensations may come, for example, one of the participants in the arrangement will start to like it or, on the contrary, will be disgusted, if you want to move somewhere or be together with another figure - the field will begin to lead. Through the behavior and attitudes of the substitutes, the system reveals something important.

Vadim:

how does a specialist understand that something is broken, how can this be determined by looking at the arrangement from the outside?

Alexei:

You can feel, see inside, sometimes the deputies directly say what they feel and what they want, as well as by the external behavior and disposition of the participants. For example:

• the daughter stands next to the father, takes the place of the mother;
• the participant clenches his fists - aggression towards someone;
• deputies look at the floor - someone is missing, a dead child, an aborted child;
• the child follows the dead relative and wants to lie next to him;
• husband and wife want to separate, and the child tries to stop them.

Ivan:

how long to wait for the result?

Alexei:

Sometimes changes come immediately, at the moment of placement, for example, a person changes his attitude towards his parents, arrogance, blocks that prevented the flow of energy, go away. Sometimes it takes some time (from weeks to months), because. the system is gradually being rebuilt. It largely depends on the willingness of a person to change, to move in a new direction. Perestroika can be accompanied by crises - the old collapses to make room for the new, the scale is different.

Vsevolod:

what problems can result from violation of laws, are they specific?

Alexei:

The problems may be different. It all starts with the fact that the violation of laws leads to a violation in the flow of energy, and then it already takes on some form. It may be in the form of recurring events, it may be in the form of illness, in the form of weakness, failure, it may be in the form of scandals or in the form of a movement into death.

Jazz:

Good afternoon Is one arrangement enough to solve the problem?

Alexei:

It all depends on the person and the situation. It happens that there are several interweavings, a lot of things need to be worked out, but a person does not have enough energy (this manifests itself in different ways - the group gets tired, the person no longer wants or cannot, the information closes, it becomes as if empty, something goes away - the system is gone , and people are still standing). Then it’s better to shoot everything gradually, with breaks between constellations, because. sometimes it takes time to change. Also, a person needs to prepare, although often the mind can adjust, say "faster, faster." You shouldn't go after him. When there is a bust, various mechanisms for protecting the psyche can work, for example, a state of shock, inappropriate chuckles, complete rejection, a person does not hear, misses his ears.

Sveta:

what can be the cause of failures in personal life, why do men seem to be absent?

Alexei:

There can be many reasons. When viewed from a systems perspective, influences can, for example, come from the family system as well as from systems of past relationships. Examples of reasons emanating from systemic disorders: a daughter is in a symbolic marriage, where the father takes the place of her husband, or the feeling that marrying a husband is dangerously transmitted from someone by birth, or the mother is not accepted, and then the flow of female energy is attractive to men , decreases, or the daughter tries to keep her parents from divorce, she directs all her strength and attention there. Previous relationships can influence in such a way that with a visible separation, in fact, the relationship is not completed (some energy attracts a friend to a friend, for example, a feeling of resentment, aggression, claims, love), then a person hangs in them, is busy and cannot go further, is in the past and is experiencing. Sometimes it happens that a woman does find a man, but the flow is still oriented towards another person. Then both the man and their children receive less attention, warmth, energy.

Vadim:

Is it possible to remove the impact of systems on a person? protect yourself from it?

Alexei:

You can learn to track their influence, and then make a decision to act in accordance with what the egregor wants or in a different way. Much is imposed because a person does not track the source of impulses for action and perceives all impulses as his own, and accordingly implements them without hesitation (see the description of the process in the example “Consultation with a psychologist”). One of the main points in helping a person with family entanglements is to show that the role that a person plays was played by another person, that it is imposed. When a person sees this, a disidentification occurs. In the arrangement, the role is returned back to one of the ancestors. For more information, see the articles: "Egregors", "The invisible world and its impact on a person", "Identification, awareness, free will and choice".

Maria D:

Can you please tell me what could be wrong?

Alexei:

Feelings of guilt can be inherited through the family system from one of the ancestors. Feelings of guilt can arise in case of violation of the internal ethics of the system, i.e. rules, so the system shows a person which actions are desirable and approved by the system, and which are not (see "Conscience"). Guilt can also appear in case of imbalance in relations with any person.

Ivan:

what type of constellation is best for problem solving? do they differ in efficiency?

Alexei:

Different types of constellations (with deputies, on anchors, in imagination, via Skype...) can be considered as tools, and in some situations some are better suited, in others others. The main thing is to diagnose the source of the problem and work it out.

persey:

Can I see what's going on in my organization?

Alexei: marussya.12:

I happened to encounter the constellation method and nothing came of it, except for a deep distrust of it. It is doubtful to me that any person participating in the constellation is able to catch and correctly interpret (transmit in the constellation) information from the subtle world. After all, for this it is necessary to "block" one's Self - "turn off", and this is a very complex process that requires preparation. Am I wrong about something? and were there cases in your practice when the constellations "did not work".

Alexei:

It is doubtful to me that any person participating in the constellation is able to catch and correctly interpret (transmit in the constellation) information from the subtle world

Yes, capturing and completely correctly interpreting is a really difficult task. To interpret, you need to know yourself well enough (the better, the more accurate it will be) and to have energy. Sometimes a person feels, but cannot say, it is impossible to translate into words.

But, for work in the constellation, it is not necessary that the deputies be “ideal” and show and tell everything. Often, small basic feelings or slight movements are enough (for example, a person says that he feels sad, or is angry at another, or looks at the floor). These are all hints that help the leader to navigate, show where to go. So gradually, step by step, the ball is unraveled.

Much depends on the leader, on how well he can interpret the signals, and the fact that the deputies live, but do not notice for themselves, can be quite noticeable and understandable to the leader. Signals come not only from deputies (there are arrangements without deputies), but also directly to the leader, images of what is happening can appear. Hellinger, for example, had a constellation where a woman, as soon as she sat down to him, wanted to start asking some questions (but these were not the right questions at all). He did not let her say anything, they sat for a couple of minutes, and after a pause he says: you know, you are going to leave (i.e. the woman is moving into death). And everything ... it was on point. The woman felt everything well, she cried, she knew it inside, but most likely she never confessed to anyone, and she wanted to make an arrangement about something completely different (see article “ Is the customer always right?"). Formally, the arrangement has not yet begun, but a lot has already been done.

and were there cases in your practice when the constellations "did not work"

I look at constellations as a good idea, a technique for working with field processes. But it's a technique, not guaranteed result. The result may not be (or completely different than the client wanted) for many reasons, including those depending on the host and the client (for example, the request was superficial, without energy, no one was interested in it, and the host did not notice this. I think , it would not be very good if Hellinger did not listen, did not look deeper, but immediately began to arrange what the woman wanted).

nationalist:

An interesting article, such a peculiar combination of Western psychology with some cabal approaches.
Cabalists believe that a person can influence his destiny by influencing his environment.
Of course, these approaches do not give universal answers, but the direction is right ...

Alexei:

Thanks for the feedback. Sometimes the intersection, the synthesis of several directions, allows you to highlight additional facets of life, they enrich each other. Each direction has its advantages and strengths.

Anna:

What effect does the constellation and worked out flow have on siblings and other relatives knee above and below? Thank you.

Alexei:

Depends on the situation in the system and arrangement, as well as on all listed family members. The arrangement helps to make changes in the system, as a result of which the roles and relationships between elements may partially change. As for the descendants, when the ancestors acquire a certain quality, the probability of passing this quality to the descendant increases (for example, warmth instead of the former coldness).

nata:

Please tell me if the arrangement will help if you can’t start a family (get married, have a baby) when there are no visible reasons (pretty, smart, everything is in order with health)

Alexei:

Deployment is a method. Like any other method, it is a tool that in itself does not give any guarantees. There are factors that affect a person. They can be conditionally divided into two groups - dynamics associated with the family system, which are not recognized, and personal traumas and features acquired in the current life, over which a person needs to work (and, as a rule, which he also does not notice). You can work on the first group of factors in a constellation, on the second - in the framework of counseling, analysis. In both situations, much depends on the person himself.

It is also desirable to take into account the fact that desire can be false, for example, formed due to the action of psychological defenses or under the influence of the environment.

Anton:

Is it possible with the help of constellations to find out the causes of chronic diseases, or, for example, to find out why a person behaves in a certain way, what programs are in him, and do they help to understand a person who he really is and what his goal is? Thank you))

Alexei:

About diseases. Sometimes - yes, you can find out and eliminate. See also the answer to the previous comment.

Why a person behaves in a certain way - there are many factors. Some forms of behavior, including those unconsciously adopted from one of the members of the genus, originate in the family system. About the sources of desires, motivation, programs - there is in the article " Fulfillment of desires", etc.

Understanding yourself and what the purpose of a person is is a gradual process. The first step towards it is to start observing your inner world, to highlight what is false in it, introduced, what forces are at work. Start consistently reducing the number of internal and external lies, then the picture becomes more transparent.

Vasya:

And what effect does the Orthodox egregore have on people? is it good or bad?

Alexei:

I can’t say anything unequivocally that something is good or bad - it depends on how you look. You can find both good and bad in everything. Egregor can help people, but at the same time, he charges for it, requires service.

Dmitriy:

Hello! Tell me if I understand correctly, in order for the arrangement to bring the desired result, you need to tell frankly and in detail about yourself, your family.
Is it possible in this case, to maintain confidentiality, to use pseudonyms and come to the constellation by changing the external image?
Will this have an impact on the result and are such changes fundamental for the work of the constellation therapist? Thank you in advance.

Alexei:

Indeed, there are times when a person, for one reason or another, would not like to take his situation outside. In this case, you can make a one-on-one arrangement with a specialist in whom you have confidence. Sometimes a special group of non-visitors also gathers (for example, when you need to make an arrangement related to business and do not want to advertise).
What to tell frankly - yes, within the framework of what the work will take place, the specialist may need some information (for example, if you are working on relationships in the current family, were there any other connections, were you married for the first time and etc. - depends on the situation).
Closeness can interfere with the process (but, as a rule, people are more or less closed, because the topics are complex). To some extent, a person (and the field that leads him) unconsciously sets himself to what depth it is necessary and possible to dive.
Another moment. Speaking abstractly, many problems appear when some kind of life experience of a family or a person is denied, rejected, excluded. In the constellation, there is often a manifestation and acceptance of this experience, so some stories may be revealed.

Svetlana 49 years old:

3 days ago I made an arrangement for ease in relations with a married man (after all, pain, suffering appear when you resist) I have one desire - to learn to appreciate myself, and forget about 10 summer romance! After the arrangement, I feel that something has changed, but I often remember him, even waking up, I understand what I think about him (but I don’t cry anymore). The question is how to help yourself not to think about it?

Alexei:

Svetlana, please look at the article “Social Interactions”, perhaps something will respond.
It would be useful to understand and realize why you think about it. You can also see the article “ Fulfillment of desires" - there is about psychological defenses and suppression, as well as questions and comments at the very bottom (thoughts, emotions, some states can be considered as signals about something, there is some kind of force behind them. Its rude suppression can lead to various consequences.). Are you not crying because it is “needed” (i.e. suppressed) or is it really an internal process that resulted in the need for tears gone?
About "don't think about him". Sometimes immersion in some other activity helps. But, this is a form of displacement, compensation. The most important thing is to understand why you think about this man and start from this (for example, you want a relationship, perhaps not necessarily with this man, but he and his thoughts about him are a symbol. I’ll explain with an example. When a person has some kind of desire, he can be strongly attracted to those people with whom this desire can be realized, and as soon as the desire is realized, he may find that the desire to be with these people has disappeared, that there is nothing in common).
And there is another question - why?

Elena:

Please tell me, can I participate in the constellations of my problem as a substitute for one of the participants in my own situation? I really want to feel it for myself.

Alexei: Yana:

Violation of what family laws can push to move into death?

Alexei: Elena:

Is it possible to get a money debt from a dishonorable person with the help of constellations? Or should I analyze this situation in terms of balance and understand that no one owes me anything? But then how can I protect myself from the negative energy influence of this person who does not want to repay the debt? (to suppress an unpleasant destructive feeling).

Alexei:

Should/shouldn't be a difficult question sometimes. human interactions are complex, as a rule. If a person has not fully figured out the issue and began to actively act, then he can mess things up. Sometimes, something happens that seems unfair, and then, after a while, a person may look at the situation differently. When a person is deceived, when it’s hard, he takes something out of the situation, learns something (perhaps he begins to look at himself and notice that this can happen in him too). Like a lesson. There are also various subtleties, for example, not the person himself, but through him money is withdrawn for something (for example, he did not give to someone to whom he should have given, and after a while money is taken away from him, he somehow loses it ).

But then how can I protect myself from the negative energy influence of this person who does not want to repay the debt?

I don’t know your situation, what kind of relationship you have with a person, whether there is and was there any conflict before. People, often decent, but sometimes some additional factors prevent them from repaying a debt at the moment. Did you ask why he didn't want to? In what form did you talk to him (sometimes there is such a form that you don’t want to give it away at all, for example, when there was a conflict)? Does he recognize the debt? Sometimes you can talk delicately with a person, accept the situation and decide together how he will give what he owes. Maybe he's having some trouble right now.

It happens that the only available way at the moment is to accept, to accept that the debt will not be returned, so as not to wind yourself up, not to poison both yourself and the person. Adapt and move on. An internal request from a good state (without malice, with respect) to repay a debt can help. Such requests can work well not only with debts. There are consequences for the debtor.

On this topic, you can see the article “ Social interactions"And" Loss and return of the soul", As well as read the story of Leo Tolstoy" Karma "(see" Useful books").

Irina:

In December 2013, I made an arrangement at the request of money, business, improvement of well-being. The arrangement did not work out, i.e. by your definition« By itself, the arrangement is not only to view something, but also the impact, as well as a change in the situation, i.e. she organizes herself to do some work that is important» - the arrangement did not work out, the coach did not identify the reason, etc. Is this also some kind of indicator for me or in the professionalism of the coach?

I must add that over these 4 months my situation has worsened even more.

Thank you.

Alexei:

Was the alignment about you personally or about the organization?

About the quote:

By itself, the arrangement is not only to view something, but also the impact, as well as a change in the situation, i.e. she organizes herself to do some work that is important

This work is not necessarily what the client asked for, at the level of words, mind (see, for example, the article "The client is always right?"). It may be useful to see the article "Loss and return of the soul". There is a client, there is a specialist and there is a field. Field - directs. If something goes against the current, then the energy from the arrangement (as well as from some sphere of life) can leave, it crumples, goes through force, “nothing is visible”. Sometimes the cause of any trouble is unethical behavior towards oneself or others - the quality is blocked and the energy does not flow. Improvement comes as a result of working through lessons, better understanding, changes.

If the coach has not identified the cause, then there may be many options - for example, perhaps the root of the problem lies in another area, it may be a consequence of something or a way to pay attention to something, correct the course.

Perhaps you should pay attention to your condition. What is it. Better or worse. Is there anything that happened relatively recently (for example, half a year ago)? Is there energy in what you do, or does everything go through force, through forcing yourself? If through force, what can be done to change the situation? (See also the article “Why all this" and comments on it). This can shed light on important places - potential points for development.

Jeanne:

In what way is the “ability to connect to the energy field” caused among the participants in the arrangement, is absolutely any person able to “connect” to it so easily?

Alexei:

each person is constantly connected to one field or another. There are different fields in the constellation, including the field of the family system of which the person is a representative (which could have brought this person to the constellation). Not all fields can be connected. see the article "Egregors" about this.

Connection to one level or another is due to the direction of attention (as a rule, this all happens unconsciously - a person is in some place and begins to read and work out egregorial instructions. If a person is not welcome in this place, then he can be pushed out of there, egregor will induce discomfort, produce attacks). If there is no access to a certain layer, and a person persistently tries to enter, then he can simply connect to another layer, which will induce him certain states, dictate his will, etc. If a person does not follow the instructions of the field, does not catch its messages, then he can also jump onto some other one. This is to the fact that sometimes the arrangement can be significantly spoofed (for example, because someone stopped catching field signals and began to focus on some of their previous patterns, or, in places where the person himself has a gap, his behavior begins become very rigid, or he stops noticing something, is blocked, the person is on a different wave), there may also be some movements, actions of people, but they will have a very distant relation to the real situation.

Valerie:

I read a lot in this direction, I can be wrong, but the closest in meaning is Vadim Zelanda, the author of the "Reality Transurfing" theory. It turns out that egregors (the personality inside us that you energetically feed are the same pendulums? field, layers is the space of options?, arrangement - "highlighting" possible options?

Alexei: Violet:

Hello, thank you for the useful and informative information.

Please help me understand why girls often subconsciously choose unsuitable partners for themselves?

How can you do the arrangement yourself? Or is it better to conduct the constellation under the guidance of a leading psychologist?

Alexei:

To do the arrangement yourself, you need experience. You can start by reading Hellinger's books. It is not necessary to do the arrangement literally, sometimes awareness and identification of “tails” is enough for the problems to transform.

Elvira:

Good afternoon. Does regular viewing of video seminars of Hellinger constellations somehow help in a person’s personal systemic problems?

Alexei:

Each person has their own characteristics. For some, once is enough and there is no further interest in watching. It is interesting for someone to watch several times, attuning and getting something new for themselves each time.

Therefore, it is all individual. You can ask yourself inside the question of whether it is interesting, and observe whether there is a real benefit (for example, a person forgave someone close for something that he could not accept before, became softer), whether there are changes. The purpose of certain events is internal change. Internal changes will lead to external changes.

On the other hand, you can look in different ways, and regular viewing can serve the purpose of calming the mind, which says that it is doing a useful thing, is being transformed. In fact, a person avoids meeting with his problems and leaves the study. A person tries to replace internal work with external plausible measures.

Guarantees and promises about something can tempt a person to shift full responsibility to the one who guarantees and not make the necessary personal efforts to materialize the desired. A person can watch a large number of times, but closing himself, do not let energy into his heart, do not reconsider his life, do not transform himself.

If there is interest, attunement and inner work, then viewing the records of the Teachers can be a good help in transformation. Teachers broadcast wisdom and grace, allow you to go beyond the boundaries of the previous framework.

Yuri O.:

Information about egregors is the personal opinion of the author (which is not indicated), why drag this into the name of Hellinger, who never mentioned this and misinform people. The examples are rather strange - from whose practice are they?

Alexei:

From Hellinger's book "The Source Doesn't Need to Ask the Way":

Rupert Sheldrake describes in his books the properties and action of morphogenetic fields - force fields that determine certain structures. He told me that in the process of family constellations, you can directly observe how the morphogenetic fields operate.

I wondered if his observations could apply to other things as well? But what if a certain group of people is bound by a certain way of thinking, which complicates the process of awareness for such a group. Are the events taking place in the family a model that is determined by the morphogenetic field of the family. If, for example, someone in the family commits suicide, suicide is often repeated in the next generations. This happens not only because one of the family members wants to follow the deceased, but also because a pattern has been created.

Sheldrake noticed that when a new crystal is formed, its structure has not yet been set. If a new crystal is formed in the same bond, its structure is similar to that of the first crystal. This is the memory of the first crystal. This means that the morphogenetic field has a memory. Therefore, each new crystal will most likely be similar to the first one. In the process of repeated repetition, a certain pattern is fixed. Perhaps similar fates develop in a similar way.

Sample Interruption

This movement must be stopped. The recognition of this movement and its interruption require great courage to do something fundamentally new. If the interrupt succeeds, it is a special achievement. Interruption cannot be achieved by simply going with the flow. You need to retreat. Instead of going with the flow, you need to go ashore, look at the river, recognize the old and recognize the new. Then decide what to do.

The examples are rather strange - from whose practice are they?

if you allow yourself not to reject and observe more closely, they will become examples from your practice. The following paragraph is from The Source Doesn't Need to Ask the Way:

The family has memory. Information from family memory that is born is a gift. But this gift is held tightly by the darkness and the hidden where it came from. This means that its essence remains hidden for us. We don't know where he came from or where. It is hidden not only from us, it is hidden in general, which means that we do not have access to it. We can and dare to dispose of this gift only at the moment when it appears to us, and we must stop when it disappears again.

What is revealed does not reveal to us the hidden and secret, it is shown within certain boundaries. Our views overshadow it, superimposed on what has come to light. Our own view of this (if it has formed) allows us to remain subjective and stands in the way of knowledge. What has come to light, on the contrary, pushes us to the unfamiliar, unusual and new.

Concentrating in the process of such work, we turn our gaze to what remains hidden, what is beyond the revealed. We submit not only to what is revealed, but also to what remains hidden, to what appeared and disappeared again. We are in tune with both movements and obey both. This work reveals the essential, so it is not limited to the superficial, for example, only the healing of the disease. Therefore, it is much more important than psychotherapy as such.

Alyona:

Good afternoon, Alexey.

Recently I heard that after the constellations it is recommended not to make any important decisions for a month. To what extent is this recommendation valid?

Alexei:

Alena, good afternoon!

The fact that a month is conditional, in each case, you need to look individually (and what is important and what is not - each person can evaluate in his own way. The fact that a person came to the constellation, as well as those conclusions to which he consciously or unconsciously came in its process - this is very important). The fact is that a person has done work, new energies have come and it is necessary to process them, change, which takes time, and also some people can bring disharmony with their sharp obvious initiatives (a person from the mind can focus processes that are still being built, and therefore interfere. People, systems have their own rate of change, transformation, if you don’t take it into account, you can overload it and create additional difficulties. A carrot grows at its own pace, if you pull it by force, it won’t get any better). When a person inside has changed, when he has moved to a new level of awareness, new energies, he can notice how the reality around him began to gradually change, which takes time.

Tatiana:

Thanks for the detailed article, but I had a question at the very beginning. How did Bert Hellinger understand that past events affect the present? So he saw it in the lives of the test subjects? How many such cases were there? And what if the history of one of the branches of the genus is unknown? That is, we cannot stage an event because we do not know about it. Or maybe it's in this event? Then it turns out that the arrangement based on known facts will not help us. How do I know if I know enough family history to know if the constellation will help me improve family relationships?

Alexei:

And what if the history of one of the branches of the genus is unknown? That is, we cannot stage an event because we do not know about it.

Tatyana, during the arrangement, the event is not staged. Often, even questions about the past of the family are not asked, or the specialist asks them one on one. Then the deputies are placed in the constellation (in certain roles) and they begin to broadcast what they feel (they usually don’t know about family stories. It’s even better if those who are not familiar with the family and the person who ordered the constellation participate in the constellation - so that there is no play). Sometimes the alignment is done blind - deputies are introduced into the alignment without saying what role they play. Feelings, sensations, experiences on the participants leads the field. Sometimes something that is important appears, but what was previously hidden, was not discussed in the family.

How do I know if I know enough family history to know if the constellation will help me improve family relationships?

It is necessary to consult with a specialist, from whom you are potentially planning to do the alignment. Sometimes it happens that instead of constellation, some other activities, such as a consultation, may be better suited.

Marina Koveshnikova:

Hello, thank you for interpreting the incomprehensible and invisible so clearly and clearly. And about the assemblage point, and about vampirism. Learned a lot, thank you!

Elena:

If good things are given to a person, and if he cannot give good things in proportion, then he gives bad things, devalues, humiliates ...

Question: why can't this person also give back the good? Doesn't want to? Or is he just not good enough?

Alexei:

It happens in different ways, it is necessary to consider each situation separately. For example, he may not have something commensurate with what he has received (the relationship between parents and child, student and teacher). Maybe greed too. And it may also be that the one who gives thinks that he is giving something good, but in fact it is not (often behind outwardly beautiful words and gestures there may be hidden not so beautiful internal motives that a person may not even be aware, for example, to rise above another). In the latter case, the reaction of the one who received it may not be on the external side, but on the content, and then the desire to devalue, humiliate seems quite adequate for the subconscious. Also, the subconscious is engaged in maintaining life and it can be very tenacious to resources, and therefore it can be difficult for it to give.

Elena:

Hello!

Participated in the arrangement as a deputy. It seems that after the arrangement she took off this image. But after a night, I realize that I missed it. The same sensations as during the arrangement. Plus dreams reflecting that situation. What to do in this case?

Alexei:

Elena, good afternoon! Try what it says here: "Exit obsessive state". Further, it is important not to close your thoughts on the previous state, to switch and keep your attention on something else.

Also see if there is any resonance in what happened in the constellation with your situation? Your subconscious may remind you of something that you should pay attention to.

Assel:

Alexey, tell me, please, sometimes I watch constellations, or the work of Gestal therapists, and I ask myself: when I was 19-20 years old, I had 4 abortions for a short period of up to 2 weeks. I well understand that at that time I could not give birth to these children. At that point in my life, this was the best decision I ever made for these children. And I have no guilt about these aborted babies. This is fine? I look at many women, how they suffer and so on, and I am afraid that I do not suffer. Thank you

Alexei:

In a family of one young man The dog began to get very sick and it was decided to euthanize her. Then the dog was buried. The young man then had no feelings, except for a slight relief. That period in a person's life was a difficult black streak, and caring for a dog, in addition to other tasks and difficulties, lay entirely on him. After about 7 years, gradually thawing, he shed a lot of tears about his dog. He gradually realized that, probably, there was no other way out then, but there was pain and she had been inside all these years, but in a depressed state. Before, he had thought that he had come through the death of the dog easily and that it had not affected him in any way. Some strong experiences may be temporarily closed to a person. A person may have a certain threshold, a level of pain that he can live through and process. If there are no resources for living, if this level goes beyond, then experiences can simply be blocked and suppressed. The subconscious, as a measure of protection, can block a person's attempts to penetrate deeper (a person, for example, can forget something, not dive deep into something).

This is not necessary in your case, but worth a closer look.

Tatiana:

Good afternoon Could you tell me, please, what is meant by the arrangement related to business? Setting for the success of your business?

Alexei:

With the help of the arrangement, you can identify and resolve issues that are somehow related to the business. For example, this can be the identification of relationships between employees, bottlenecks, potential sources of problems and difficulties, what hinders, decision making, choosing the right position for an employee, balances within the organization.

Ludmila:

Hello. How can you improve your relationship with your teenage son using constellation? Remove bad habits and regain respect. Thank you

Alexei:

Lyudmila, I can't write any algorithm. For some situations, the arrangement is better suited, and for others - something else. Here it is necessary to make a constellation, and the constellator already looks at the situation and makes some decisions. Or, as part of the consultation, to understand what is happening in your relationship, as well as the characteristics of you and your child, to find out what he wants.

Artyom:

Hello Alexey!

Can constellations be harmful or dangerous? For example, the role (program, energy) broadcast by a person in the field remains, does not leave it. And there is no strength, experience, skills and knowledge (both one's own and a specialist's) to get rid of the "obsession". What, in your opinion, can be the consequences in such situations?

Alexei:

Nothing should be treated superficially and recklessly. Any method, if it has great potential, great power of influence, then, accordingly, much can be done with it. Fire can be used for good, but it can also bring trouble if you treat it carelessly. Constellation is work at a deep level, with the help of collective energy.

Artyom, yes, some roles can be very unpleasant for a person, for example, a long stay in some roles of a destructive nature. Sometimes the alignment goes in the wrong direction and this can be perceived by the participants as a depressing state, when the energy quickly ends and heaviness piles up (for example, when the request is not correct, and the specialist, for one reason or another, follows the lead of the client). But, as a rule, this is individual, and if it is unpleasant to be in a role, then you can ask the host to replace you. If the usual ways to get out of the role did not work out (usually this is a kind of ritual at the end of each constellation, when, for example, the client comes up to each participant and says: “You are not my dad, you are Fedya”, shaking, etc. “Smoke breaks”, i.e. tea and communication with others also help a person shift his assemblage point to another position), try the technique of getting out of an obsessive state. You can take a contrast shower. And it is very important not to mentally get stuck on the plot, i.e. you need to remove the role and, by an effort of will, transfer your attention to something else, winding up strengthens the contact, the person nourishes the connection with the object of his attention.

The fact that a person does not have the strength, experience, knowledge and skills - this can be a garter, a program that instills uncertainty, a person begins to wind himself up and himself, with his own strength, makes an elephant out of a fly, i.e. it would be enough for him to simply switch his attention and everything would be fine, but the doubt that was invested in him can begin to torment him (some people “wind up” and bind their clients in this way: that is, scared, gave rise to doubt, a person is himself arranged everything and then runs to the one who will save him from the problem).

Some psychics have such a safety technique so as not to boil in the problems of the client, not to feed him energetically - they simply forget what they talked about with him as soon as he left, i.e. they turn off and no longer stick to the client's problems, so as not to be a battery. The specialist, one way or another, in close interaction with the client, comes into contact with the energies in which the person lives, i.e. for him, this is not just a conversation, and if there is no some kind of protection, safety precautions are not observed, then you can thoroughly load yourself. These processes take place not only in constellations, but in general everywhere (for example, when communicating, another person can put a certain role on a person, transfer energy). The role connects a person to certain objects of the subtle plane. They say that one actor, after playing some difficult role, each time got drunk until he lost consciousness in order to break this connection. The role can also resonate with some program that a person already has, the role simply activates something inside him, a process that is not connected with the placement can begin to unwind.

A person is very complex, he does a lot unconsciously, including, for example, he can use some kind of stunning methods to disconnect from an unwanted signal, as well as internal systems that are aimed at restoring it and maintaining it in a certain stable state (in this is their plus and minus - for positive changes also have, at times, to overcome inertial resistance. See the example of jumping out of state via chatter). The body sometimes knows very well what to do and how to do it.

Sandr:

These egregors and systems are very similar to the pendulums in Zeland's books, can't you just refuse to participate in family systems? The system described by the author looks like a playful, capricious puppeteer, as for me there is nothing good and instructive about them at all. Even if we take the case of a mother who wanted to have an abortion and her daughter, the daughter did not exclude her mother in any way, right? for some reason, according to the laws of the hierarchy, at the whim of the system, she began to experience suicidal feelings. Well, the daughter adopted these feelings from her mother ... (then it turns out that the mother no longer feels guilty?). In general, I mean that if the daughter really had to do something to understand is that systems are dangerous, and you need to be more cold-blooded ...

Alexei:

Can't you just opt ​​out of family systems?

A person does not just get into and is in some kind of system. He has certain tasks in front of her, as well as support, privileges, protection from the system. Also, a person, usually, perceives all the signals that arise from him as “I”.

As for me, there is nothing good and instructive in them at all.

I suggest looking in more detail. Sometimes a person has a desire to give up something abruptly and recklessly. Take and reject something that he does not like (he already has certain ideas about how it should be. from where? sometimes these ideas are suggestions of the same systems). There is also a tendency to find some kind of enemy outside and attribute all misfortunes and all bad things to him.

In general, I mean that if my daughter really had to understand something, it was that the systems are dangerous, and you need to be more cold-blooded

I propose to look at systems, including as organizing structures that guide. The system, for example, by inducing a certain state, can solve important problems, the resolution of which is important for all participants in the system. Some categorical decisions, when a person does not see all the connections, complexity and consequences, can lead to an aggravation of the situation. Awareness and manifestation is very important - this gives a lot in order for the situation to change.

Frequent subconscious expectations of a person, which can hardly be called constructive, are as follows:

• the arrangement will solve all my problems;
• the constellator should do exactly what I want;
• I need to go to the alignment and nothing more is required of me;
• I do not bear any responsibility, the constellator is responsible for the result, he must do something and come up with something so that everything is fine;
• to achieve the desired result, you just need to do more constellations (there are people who are ready to do constellations every other day);
• I will make an arrangement and everything will work out right away, the desired result should appear immediately;
• if there was no miracle, if emotions did not gush like a river, then this is not an arrangement at all;
• the situation will change, but I will remain the same;
• paying for the arrangement, I pay for the guaranteed result.

On the last point. Payment goes for the time, experience and attention of the specialist, as well as the attention of other participants, for the maintenance of the office and other administrative expenses. The psyche is very complex, a person has various connections with systems - and all this affects him. Recklessly guaranteeing something is very arrogant, you can only move in a certain direction (in accordance with the Movement of the Spirit). A person's desires can be false, due to certain reasons, unrealizable, and also leading to negative consequences that a person is not aware of. During the movement, both the current request and the perception of what the person wanted before can change.

can i order a set from you?

At the moment, consultations are only possible by e-mail.

alice:

Alexey, hello! Thank you for such an informative article! I had a question: can descendants pay for the mistakes of their ancestors (this may include abortion and alcoholism) by the fact that they are pursued by constant failures, problems in financial terms, work? The general feeling of life is continuous difficulties, it is not easy to live constantly in anticipation of at least something good ... And will the arrangement be effective in this situation? Thank you

Alexei:

And will the arrangement be effective in this situation?

See also the comment above.

Natalia:

Hello! I am very susceptible to the negative influences of other people. When I fall under the influence of some person, it is as if I lose my individuality. I begin to experience completely alien emotions and feelings (for example, a strong feeling of guilt, although there is no reason for this) and I perceive these feelings and thoughts as my own. That is, I constantly take the place of the figure to which the negative energy of some person is directed. And I take on the role of this figure. Why is this happening? Why do I always identify with someone? As if attracting me to someone's role. Thank you.

Natalia:

Or maybe all people constantly fall under someone's influence and one must be able to see this and disidentify in time?

Alexei:

Why is this happening? Why do I always identify with someone? As if attracting me to someone's role.

Perhaps the point is not in the role and not in the impact, but in good sensitivity, when one person well captures the state of another. This can be useful as well. If the sensations are unpleasant, then you can try to disidentify, for example, using the technique of getting out of the obsessive state.

It is also advisable to try to track the situations in which capture occurs. Perhaps the sensations of others are projections, i.e. with the help of others, the suppressed energy inside is manifested, to which a person does not want to pay attention.

Tatiana: Elena:

Assuming the idea that a man's craving for a young girl is an unconscious longing for an unborn child, what is the right way to treat this man's wife?

Alexei:

Elena, the situation, I think, is difficult and painful, but she is needed for something, probably for some kind of internal changes. Crises can serve as a source of growth, a way to make a person look at something, penetrate deeper into the situation, discover something new for himself. Crises through pain give energy to change, can push for learning.

Assuming the idea that a man's craving for a young girl is an unconscious longing for an unborn child

The thing is, it's a hypothesis. It's better to test the hypothesis. In particular, for example, in the arrangement, to see how things are going. Situations are different, the reasons for this or that behavior may be different. You can understand the situation and not within the framework of constellations, for example, to understand what it is for you personally, what feelings you experience and what you can do with the current situation, what you want inside. Also, since the situation is family, it would be nice to know what a man thinks, how he feels, how he looks at the situation, how he is inside. What are the circumstances of living together.

Outwardly identical consequences can be the result of different influences, and therefore it is desirable to consider each situation as unique, without any attempt to fit it into a certain pattern or desired expectations.

Also, it is advisable to remember that the subconscious mind can actively impose some hypotheses on a person: for one reason or another, they are convenient for him (for example, there is already a certain arrangement, there is property, there is some well-established, convenience and predictability), and then look at the situation, delve into going deeper than that can be painful for him and fraught with great perversions. The subconscious may include various psychological defenses.

what is the right way to treat this man's wife?

The attitude to the situation, as a rule, cannot be changed by a conscious decision, the subconscious has its own attitude and it stands on it (“you can lead a horse to the river, but you cannot make it drink”). A person can only suppress, closing himself off from information and experiences, but they will not go away. The attitude to the situation changes when a person inside changes, when an essential restructuring takes place, i.e. the change of attitude occurs indirectly, through development.

The question of how it is right - each person has his own answer inside, he consciously or unconsciously accepts his choice. For one, one thing is right, for another - another. Someone can accept the situation as it is and continue to live together, but, having switched to something else, the situation does not suit someone at all and, for example, decides to disperse, the third decides to explore the topic. And the situations themselves can be different: sometimes the relationship has come to an end, people are not interested in each other, the plot is completed, and further holding the situation only leads to an increase in tension.

Jeanne:

Alexey, thank you for the information, for the calmness and wisdom with which you answer questions

Anastasia:

Hello, thank you for the article! Self-esteem and how to learn to trust your inner voice, where to find information?

Please advise

Alexei:

About self-esteem. Often self-esteem depends on what a person is identified with, i.e. it is not constant, but can change from time to time. For example, a person was in a bad mood, he made mistakes as an employee, worried about this, it seems to him that he can’t do anything, and then, at a football match, his favorite team won and he felt a surge of strength, joy, confidence, a feeling that he can move mountains. A person can be identified with any long-term programs, serve High ideals, receive strength and support from them, which can give him a certain stability in self-esteem, then he looks at the situation that happens to him in life, from the position of the object to which he serves (for example, he is implementing a large project and within this project a hitch or a mistake at work looks insignificant, the main thing is that he sees that he is gradually moving forward step by step). Also, a person can change the object of his identification quite chaotically, then his mood, self-esteem and feeling can also roll up chaotically (see the description of an infantile personality in the article “Levels of Personality Development”).

A certain egregore can stand behind a person (for example, a family or a team) and the person is perceived as self-confident, powerful, with high self-esteem. This, at times, egregor gives him strength, energy, confidence, stability, support, as well as instructions on what to do and how. A person uses the resources and potential of the team to promote the interests of this team. Egregor gives strength, energy, forms events, allows you to have a more powerful impact on other people, hypnotize them (shift their assemblage point), bewitch. When the egregore departs from a person, then a person can become completely different: his charisma, confidence and power can disappear.

From time to time, you can find advice on how to raise your self-esteem (for example, in the areas of sales, management). But it is far from always useful to do it by straightforward methods, self-hypnosis, hard commands. Sometimes a person pumps himself up, says that he has high self-esteem, that he is confident in himself and tries to behave like a confident person, like someone who has high self-esteem. But, if there is nothing behind this (for example, some object, quality that gives strength, confidence), then he is forced to use various psychological defenses in order to hide situations and signs from himself that he is not sure of himself, where is the external the manifestation of his self-esteem does not correspond to what he thinks he should be. Tension grows inside a person, he looks hard, angular, artificial, fussy. Several different forces are fighting inside him, this weakens him, fetters him energetically, and at one moment he may not be able to withstand the whole unreal bubble that he pumped up, bursts, and the person finds himself in an energy hole, depression. All the old superficial pops up before his eyes, which can be a strong blow. Persistence, perseverance manifest as long as there is energy, if there is no energy, if nothing feeds this perseverance, then they can disappear.

Sometimes it is better to raise self-esteem indirectly, when a person, for example, serves a certain quality, ideal, gradually develops, gains experience and imperceptibly grows his self-esteem, self-confidence, stability. Those. self-esteem can change as a result of work on oneself, indirectly, when a person does a certain job, learns to overcome the resistance of the material. In order to develop any qualities in oneself, it is necessary to remember the Sautrn principle: systematically, gradually, without sharp unprepared jumps, otherwise the more severe binding and limiting qualities of this planet may turn on, including in the form of the effects described above. Saturn is responsible for depression, stiffness, lack of energy, in its high octave it is responsible for wisdom (see also about Saturn).

Alexander:

Thank you very much, Alexey for the materials and your work.

Important:

Within the framework of the commentary, there is no way to answer personal questions (“why am I like this?”, “How can I do that ...?”, “What should I do?”, “Is it useful for me ...?” and the like). Such questions often do not have a ready answer, and require studying the specific situation of a person and working with him, i.e. one or more consultations. See the parable at the very beginning of the article Systems of Interpretation.

Questions "Is it effective ...?" “will it help me...?”, “whom should I choose?” often assume the expectation of a certain guarantee on my part, but I cannot give it, because. if, for example, a person goes to a specialist or does something on his own, then I don’t manage this process in any way, I’m not responsible for it, and I can’t promise anything.

Name: Email:When situations break into our lives from which we feel pain, anger, resentment, disappointment - what to do with it?

Are these always our feelings and are we always in control?

Constellations entered my life in 2007 - and in one day completely turned my mind around. I realized that I really do not control anything, moreover, a lot of things in my world are an illusion. But what impressed me even more was the changes that began to take place both in me and in the world around me.

Have you ever gone through forgiveness and letting go trainings - and then realized that nothing has passed - nothing has been forgiven and released? I remember Marina Targakova spoke about this phenomenon: “I forgave Luula Viilma, forgave Louise Hay, forgave Sviyash….” This is very familiar to me, I almost had it. You forgive, you forgive, but for some reason you can't forgive.

Does this always mean that we do not work well and make little effort? Or are we just digging the garden with a fork?

For me, the method of systemic family constellations has become a reliable shovel - with the help of which you can weed out weeds and plant rose bushes much faster and better. With his help, I was finally able to weed a couple of long overgrown beds.

In what situations can constellations help:

• Build relationships with parents - or at least take the first step in this direction

• Build relationships with a partner

• Resolve relationship issues with children

• Understand why love in life does not happen and does not work

• Forgive and let go of someone who should have been let go

• See your life through another glass

• Understand where we are really going and why

What does it look like

Family constellations take place in the form of training, during which solutions are found for the problems and situations of the participants.

The work process is very simple:

• you point out the problem

• You talk a little about the family (general information, preferably only for the host, so that this information does not interfere with others' work)

• Then you choose from among the people present substitutes for the main members of your family and for yourself (at first you watch from the sidelines)

And here the most interesting begins. People come into contact with the energy field. And they begin to feel the same as the real people they replace. Moreover, they begin to speak the same way, move the same way as your mother or husband.

The questions the facilitator asks deputies are usually simple:

• Are you comfortable standing?

• What do you see?

• Where are you looking?

• What do you feel for others?

And the feeling is real. You, watching from the side, can even recognize some gestures and habits of your loved ones - for example, someone may start snapping their fingers, like your brother, and someone will suddenly show authority, like your father.

At the same time, when you participate in the constellation, these sensations come by themselves. And sometimes it's even surprising that he was sitting on the bench with Vasya - Vasya liked it. And then you just want to hit him so much that you can hardly restrain yourself!

Or vice versa - Kolya was like Kolya, you didn’t even notice him, but he became “your husband”, and you feel how you are attracted to him - and you can’t stop - stroke his hand.

After labeling emotions, the cause of the problem emerges - sometimes immediately, sometimes after some time. And you clearly see that, for example, your resentment towards your husband is not really yours. This is your grandmother offended by his grandfather because he had another woman (by the way, if something is missing in the system, this is also immediately visible - for example, grandfather's mistress, and grandfather feels lost and says that he has someone here - something should be).

At the final stage, the deputies say the most important things to each other ("I'm sorry", "I love you", etc.) and line up in the correct and comfortable order.

When you look from the side, sometimes it seems that people have learned the script and say what they are asked. But when you participate, you understand that this is not a game. That information comes from somewhere above.

Very often things come up that are known only to the one doing the constellation. And even more often - those that are unknown to him. And sometimes there is even an opportunity to check.

For example, one of my acquaintances found out in the constellation that he is not his parents' own child. At first it was a huge shock for him, but then he found the strength to ask his mother. For the first few minutes she was silent in a state of shock. And then she asked: “How do you know?”

Another girl at the constellation found out about her grandfather's mistress. Fortunately, the grandmother was still alive, and she was able to ask her. Grandma hesitated at first. And a couple of days later she called and said that no one except her and her grandfather should have known about it.

The third man at the constellation found out that his son was not from him. It was a hard blow. The wife declined to comment, but he passed a paternity test - and the information was confirmed. He did not abandon the child, but began to find out who the real father was. The biggest shock for him was that his father was his own brother.

Therefore, the most important rules for the participant:

• Being ready to find out the not-so-pleasant truth about your ancestors is a special courage, and sometimes it is difficult to decide

• To be ready to accept this truth, although usually the first reaction is one of shock. Moreover, it is much easier to accept something far from oneself (in the third knee) than something that is close. Great-grandfather's mistress is normal. Papa's mistress is hard.

• Be prepared not to immediately attack relatives with questions. First, wait until the emotions subside. Secondly, to build all questions very delicately - not stating (I now know everything about you), but asking (a very good option - “Mom, you know, I had a dream ...” - after a couple of weeks, mom usually calls and says, that this dream is true

• Be ready to help others in the works. You can, of course, just do your job and leave. But to remain a substitute for the rest is a separate courage and special generosity. You can help others so much - why not just do it?

• Be ready to keep silent about other people's work and forget about your own for a while. There is such a thing as privacy - and everyone knows about it. But besides this, you can’t scatter the energy received in the work, right and left - and talking about it, you spend part of the energy on retelling and speculation.

Of course, it is important to say that:

• Constellations are not a panacea. Not all problems can be solved in this way. Most long-standing problems require perhaps more than one job. In addition to constellations, high-quality psychotherapy is necessary.

• Arrangements are the indication of the way. After that, you need to apply the knowledge in life. Start behaving differently. Tell someone something important. Or vice versa - stop wasting time and energy on communicating with someone.

• Sometimes the information received at the constellations is not confirmed. This means that either something was misinterpreted, or the personal motives of the constellator, deputies, or the client intervened in the process of constellation. There are many options.

• A lot depends on the installer. What are his intentions, how open and pure his heart is, how much you trust him and the band.

Laws of the system

First you need to understand who is included in the tribal system. It includes:

• All those born into this system (including miscarriages, abortions, deaths in infancy, orphanages, etc.)

• All partners and strong emotional ties

• All those who helped the system survive

• All those who caused any damage to the system

That is (in simple terms) the system of an average woman will include:

• Husband's children from previous marriages

• Previous partners or significant emotional ties

• Previous partners or significant emotional ties of the husband,

• Siblings, including those who died early and aborted,

• Parents

• Parents' previous partners

• Grandparents

• Great-grandfathers and great-grandmothers

And it is also worth highlighting separately in the genus:

• All those who had a special fate (repressed, dead, disabled, murderers, killed),

• All those who provided the system with a significant benefit or caused significant damage (For example, a woman who took care of an orphan after the war and thereby saved him. Or the one who took part in the dispossession of a great-grandfather)

Pretty impressive list, right?

There are four basic laws of the genus. Violation of these laws entails various problems in life.

Law 1. The law of belonging.

Everyone who once logged into the system remains in it forever. That is, we cannot delete from our kind those whom we consider unnecessary.

This often happens with ex-husbands (especially if there were no children), with aborted children (especially if they were young and in secret), with unwanted elements - criminals, alcoholics, etc.
What to do with them all? Draw and take them into your family tree.

Law 2. The law of substitution.

If we delete someone from the system, then a new member of the system (usually a child) begins to replace him energetically.

Example: A man has a second marriage. The first wife is reliably deleted from life (as if she never existed). Maybe the breakup was too painful, or maybe Mom just doesn't want to hear about the other women in Dad's life.

One way or another, it was deleted. After that, a daughter (or son) is born in the family. And energetically, she begins to replace her father's first wife. This is expressed in two parts:

Mom treats her like a rival - she herself does not understand why. Constantly wants to send her to the camp, to her grandmother or somewhere else, if only away from home. However, the daughter does not feel much sympathy for her mother. On the contrary, he tries to “build” his mother and feels his advantage. Tells mom what to do, when to brush her teeth, etc.

Dad loves his daughter - and it's mutual. He carries her in his arms, fulfills all her whims. In a word, a typical daddy's daughter.

But such behavior of the child and parents is not at all the norm, right?

Moreover, the older the girl, the more problems. Often she cannot find a husband for herself (because she already has a husband energetically - and this is dad). She does not have a relationship with her mother. And so on.
And if you give a place in the system and your heart to your first wife, give her the respect she deserves - whatever she may be in real life the child will start behaving differently.

Law 3. The law of hierarchy.

The one who logged in earlier has priority over those who logged in later.

Therefore, the first wife has a systemic advantage over the second. This does not mean that the first one is BETTER, it just did something in the system so that the second one entered it.

Also, older children have an advantage over younger ones, and parents over children.

But at the same time, the new family has an advantage over the old one. That is, my current family should have a higher priority for me than my parental one (In fact, this is not always the case. It happens that we already have children, and sometimes even grandchildren, and we all live with the problems of our parents).

That is, it turns out a very interesting balance - my husband entered the system later than my mother. So my mom has the advantage. And she should receive respect from me and her husband, as the eldest. But at the same time, my current family should have an advantage for me over my parents. And I should be more concerned with my husband and children than my mother. While maintaining respect for the mother, as the eldest.

Law 4. Law of love.

The energy of love flows from ancestors to descendants and never vice versa.

This is not about not loving moms and dads, but about giving energy to children. And dedicate your life to your children, not your parents. I can think about my mother all day, have constant arguments with her (even if just in my head), take care of her like a little girl. And then my children will not receive energy from me maternal love. Because all love starts flowing in the wrong direction, and nothing is left for the children.

Parents need to be grateful and treat them with respect. But very often we care about them, but inside ourselves we consider them half-crazy or behind the times, right?

How to detect failures and fix the situation

I urge you not to diagnose yourself. You can invent something that doesn't exist. In addition, no two systems are the same. Even if it seems to you that someone has a system exactly like yours, I can absolutely say that it is not. You can have similar causes, but different effects, and vice versa - the same effects, but different causes.

The best place to start is to draw your family tree. Ask mom and dad about ancestors, see trends in the family.

Sometimes it is immediately clear that maternal women, for example, marry at least three times, and men die early.

Usually the hardest things are not talked about - abortions, murders, mistresses and everything else - so after the arrangement, your tree will most likely be replenished with new members.

After you have formed a request and drawn a tree, look for a good specialist. Best of all - on the recommendation (the method is very fashionable today, and constellations do everything - but not everyone does them well).

• On the person himself. First, meet in person (at constellations, you can often come first for free just as a substitute) and see if he inspires confidence in you? Has he solved his own problems (after all, psychologists usually go to those who need such help)? Does he have a family, children, business? Is it pleasant to communicate with him? Trust your intuition. This criterion is very often the most important.

• For reviews. If possible, it is better to follow the recommendation - when you see the fruits of a person's work. If this is not possible, maybe there are written reviews or coordinates of other clients.

• Very often, after high-quality work, something shifts, changes and is solved.

Again, I will give my own example - the method is very close to me.

I have done more than 20 works in order to solve my problems in the family. In addition to this, my husband also did some work.

And I was shocked by the results:

• Firstly, we immediately understood why we started a family - our tribal dynamics simply needed each other - for my dad's family, I was a lost child (no one knew about me, except for my dad himself), and in my husband's father's family I was forgotten lost child (by the way, also a girl). And this is just one of the factors.

• Secondly, having done several works on the topic of our son's disease, some dynamics were identified. And after these works, there were real improvements in Danil's condition. For example, Lesha came to the seminar of Marianna Franke-Griksh first. He did a work on the topic of Danila's illness, and on the same evening the child's temperature rose to 40. We knocked her down, and she rose again. There were no other symptoms at all. Two days later I came to Marianne's seminar and did my paper on the same topic. And by the time I returned home, the temperature subsided. Herself.

• Thirdly, we constantly do work on the topic of business - when there is no understanding why the client does not pay money, or why something does not work out in the development of projects.

• Fourthly, our relationship with my husband has changed beyond recognition - they have become warmer and more trusting, we have stopped fighting and swearing.

• Fifthly, it is constellations that help me restore relationships with my mother - which have never been a source of joy for me.

• In addition, although I did not work directly with these issues, my relationship with my mother-in-law, brother and money improved.

Of course, I will not paint all the problem areas of our birth - this is not ethical in relation to the ancestors.

It seems to me that this method was sent to us so that we could solve our material problems, see the light at the end of the tunnel and become happy already in this life. We can fulfill our responsibilities in the family and at work. Because freeing ourselves from the fetters, we can move forward.