Death note. Death Notes: Suicide's Last Words

Everyone knows that death can catch us at any moment. But when a person realizes that a couple of hours or a couple of minutes are left before the end of his life, then he wants to leave his last word before death. It can be a letter, a text message, a call to your mother, or even just a phrase scrawled on the pavement with a brick.

1. Second note by Nadine Haad.

In December 2009, Nadine was found dead in the shower. The Australian was only 33 years old. She cut her veins. Nearby they found a blade and a note behind jars of painkillers.

“My family, please always live as if there is no tomorrow. Thank you for making my world so beautiful. Thank you for taking care of me."

The police considered it a suicide, but the relatives and especially the sister believed that it was a murder. IN last days, they say, she often quarreled with her ex-husband, and the sister believes that it was he who was responsible for the murder.

After searching the apartment, Nadine's sister found another piece of paper that said "He did it".

The officer considered this piece of paper just part of some other letter and put it in a box of unimportant evidence. Later, when the new tenants moved in, they found the same entry engraved on the tiles under the bathroom.

Thanks to this discovery, in 2013 the case was reviewed and ex-husband brought to justice, stating that he lied about his presence from 3 to 4 December (on the night of the murder), because. neighbors gave quite different testimony.

2. Rock for 98s.

Pearl Harbor is not the only US naval base attacked by the Japanese. The base on Wake Island, a small coral atoll with 1,600 residents, military personnel and their families, was also attacked. The Japanese captured this island on December 23, 1941. Most of the prisoners of war were sent to camps in China, but 98 remained on the island. In 1943, when Japan realized that she would soon lose the war, she decided to execute all the prisoners on the island, otherwise the Americans released them. But one managed to escape. On the shore, he built an impromptu memorial, where he wrote "98 US MS 5-10-43". When the fugitive was found, the "governor" of the island personally cut off his head. The fighter did everything so that their sacrifice would not be forgotten.

3. Polite immigrants.

In May 2006, a drifting yacht was spotted 112 kilometers off the coast of Barbados. Rescuers sailed to meet, but, unfortunately, they did not have time. On the rusty ship rested 11 almost petrified corpses of young people. 4 months before they sailed from the shores East Africa heading to the Canary Islands. They paid $1,800 each to reach Spain illegally. At first there were about 40 immigrants, but when the guys realized that something had gone wrong, many of them wrote suicide letters.

“I would like to send this money to my family. If anyone finds them, please pass them on. Forgive me and goodbye."

“Perhaps I will die in this Moroccan sea, so if you are reading this, then it is. Here is the phone number of my friend Ibragim Dreym. You send money to my family through him.”

4. Hamstead miners.

On March 4, 1908, a fire broke out in the Hampstead Colliery. He walled up 25 people. The fire prevented rescuers from reaching the trapped people. When a week later they finally got to the miners, they found groups of 4-5 people lying huddled together. Near one of the groups they found a wooden tablet: "God help us"- someone from the group began, and it all ended with the words - "For we all believe in Jesus". And at the very bottom, 6 names were written in 2 lines.

5. Letter to drain.

Under water, communication is very difficult. Some divers use sign language, some use whistles and some use slates. Slates are wooden boards that are written on with special chalk. Since diving can become a very dangerous hobby at times, suicide notes are often written on these tablets.

Sometime in 1998, Tom and Eileen Lonergan were forgotten by a tour guide off the coast of Australia. Later they found a plaque with the inscription: “We were left on the Reef by M.V. Outer edge. January 25 98. 15:00. Please save us." In addition to them, there was another similar case with a slate. Bill Hurst, a diving instructor, did not return from an underwater trip in 1976. After some time, they found a tablet with a message. "I'm lost. Tell your wife and children that I loved them."

6. Bill Lancaster's fuel card.

Aviation pioneer William Lancaster crashed on 12 April 1933 while attempting to set a new airspeed record from England to Cape Town. It has been 29 years since someone was able to read his dying words. It turned out that he wrote them before the flight. And before that, he served 3 months in prison on charges of murder. But he was acquitted, although they imposed a ban on flights, because. he had mental problems. When he was allowed to take off, the South (counter) wind began to blow, which delayed him. In Barcelona, ​​he stopped to refuel and immediately took off into the night. There was no light in his cockpit, so he tried to check the compass with a flashlight. He got lost over North Africa. When he landed in the Algerian city of Reagan, by this time he was 10 hours behind schedule and had not been awake for 30 hours. An hour later, he made an emergency landing in the Sahara. In 1962, his remains were found by a French military patrol. The fuel card read: “The 8th day of my stay here has begun. It's getting colder. I don't have water. I waited patiently. Come quickly. Last night I got sick and had a fever. I hope you received my logbook. Bill."

7. Field Wills of the British Army.

At the beginning of the 20th century, standard ammunition for soldiers was formed in England. Each set included a small capsule with a piece of paper. There you could write your last word. Many soldiers, being superstitious, left the capsules empty. Hoping to scribble everything at the last moment. They often put playing cards, scraps of newspapers, handkerchiefs or gloves. One soldier before his death managed to write only "All to her". Since it was a young count, they immediately realized that this was his dying will. But who is "her"? There were no questions either, the note was on the back of his wife's photograph. One soldier wrote with his blood on a rock "I give everything to my mother". But lawyers did not accept this will.

8. Kursk.

On August 12, 2000, the Russian nuclear submarine Kursk entered the Barents Sea for exercises. For unknown reasons, a hole appeared in the hull of the boat, and the ship began to sink. Soon, torpedoes exploded. After 5 days of unsuccessful rescue operation, Russia finally asked for help from foreign experts. Norwegian and British ships came to the rescue on 20 August. But it was already too late. All 118 sailors died. Those who survived the first explosion gathered at the tail of the boat. One of the officers, Dmitry Kolesnikov, left a note 4 hours after the explosion:

“It’s dark to write here, but I’ll try to touch it. There is no chance of survival, 10-20%. Let's hope someone reads it. Here is a list of l / s compartments that are in the 9th will try to get out.
Hello, don't despair.
Kolesnikov."

It also contains a list of 23 sailors who were at that moment in the 9th compartment, as well as personal information, which is addressed to the wife of Dmitry Kolesnikov.

9. A message from Isaac Avery to a father.

Battle of Guttenberg, 50,000 casualties on each side. The worst battle of the American Civil War. Isaac E. Avery was shot in the neck. He was partially paralyzed. He took out a piece of lead from his left pocket and wrote a note with his left hand: "Major, tell my father that I died fighting the enemy." Two days later, the fighter died in the hospital. He fought for the Confederate army. The note is stored in the treasure collection state archives in North Carolina.

10. The last letters of Otto Simons.

Otto Simons was a German Jew captured by the Nazis in France. During the deportation on the train, he began to write his suicide letter.

"My dear,
I'm on my way to Poland!
Nothing will help. I've already tried everything.
We must be going to Metz.
There are 50 of us in one car!!
Be bold and courageous.
I will be the same. Deprived of everything in Drancy.
Kisses, Otto"

He threw the letter out the window. Surprisingly, one railroad worker found it and sent it to his wife. She tried to find her husband until the early 1960s, but without success. Otto's family donated his note to the United States Holocaust Museum in 2010.

Bonus Stone Toen.

In 1887 Lewis Toen found a sand stone in the Black Hills in South Dakota. On it was the inscription:

Came here in 1833.
We are seven
Everyone died but me, Ezra Kind
Killed by Indians in front of a high hill
Found our gold in June 1834

On reverse side the stone had an addition:

We took all the gold we could carry
All our horses are killed by the Indians
I lost my gun and there was no food left
Indians are after me

Many people believe that this was a scam. Too good a coincidence that the stone was found by a skilled mason. But the story began to seem more plausible when 7 bodies were found relatively close to the found stone.

Copyright site ©
Translation from listverse.com
Translator Marcel Garipov

Are you looking for this? Perhaps this is what you could not find for so long?

God is Time
One for everyone and for everything is Time, which no one has yet known, and which no one will win and turn back. Which from 2012 to 2035. replaces the concept
God on concept Time and Its Law
And no power and none of ordinary people avoid these changes. Everything will change three times.
Three Ends of the Old World: 2017 - 2023 - 2029

Law of Time

Fragments of Qumran texts.
Horoscope of the Messiah.

“In his youth he will be ... [like a man] devoid of knowledge [until] the time when he knows the three Books. [Then] may he acquire wisdom and knowledge and receive visions... And in his old age he will have advice and prudence; [he] will know the secrets of man, and his wisdom will descend upon all nations; he will know the secrets of all living. [In] all their evil intentions against him will turn into nothing; and the opposition of all living beings will be great. [But] his [for] thoughts [will come true], because he is the Chosen One of God, His offspring and the Spirit of His Breath ... his [for] thoughts are for eternity”

Saint Theophan of Poltava, 1930:
“Russia will rise from the dead. God Himself will put a strong king on the throne. First of all, he will bring order to the ROC.”

Nostradamus: "God will see the long barrenness of the great Lady [ church]. Then, from the generation of those who have been barren for so long [because of blind church faith], a man will come who will renew the whole church.
Of the three brothers Buddhism, Christianity and Islam] and one woman [ Judaism] he will get two [ God the Mother and God the Father, on which the Law of God the One is based]».

But real wife The pope, in this game, is the Queen of England, Elizabeth II. Where one of the main contenders for her role in this game is the Patriarch of All Rus' Kirill.

Vanga: “All religions in the world will disappear, and they will be replaced by a new teaching. New person under the sign of the "new teaching" on the basis of the old, will appear in Russia. Russia will again become a strong and powerful empire and will be called in the old way - Rus.

A new religious development will take place in Russia (according to E. Casey) - i.e. the birth of a new world religion.

The newest religion will come out of Russia (according to M. Nostradamus) - i.e. will update the whole world:
“The time will come when the terms of human ignorance will end. When that day comes, the greatest enlightenment will reign. There will be a great peace."

Andrey, author of the online magazine "Time Life²": "The first part God's Law Life - female, which was born in Rus', Mother Rus' - the mother of the whole Earth. Then, under forced baptism Rus', the familiar concept of "Mother Rus'" was erased by the Western Church from world history, renaming it to the Mother of God (Mother of God), i.e. into the mother of God-Jesus, and deleting all her Testaments from God's Law of Life, erasing the entire history of Rus'. Since then, the Mother of God has become a disenfranchised lady of the Western churches and the ROC MP too. All the women of the world have become the same powerless in life. See feminism:

In our time, the second part of God's Law of Life must also come out: the male part (baptism with the Holy Spirit, which has not yet been), reviving first the first part, the female part, without which the male part will not be born. By the way, water baptism refers to the female part of God's Law of Life. Therefore, priests do not take their place in the spiritual, say, world, while trying to portray the male part of God's Law of Life, which cannot exist without the female part.

Jesus returns - St. Petersburg, Russia (according to D. Bongiovanni).
The new people of the Earth will come from the Slavs (according to M. Handel) etc.

What do not like, neither MP ROC, nor the authorities of the Russian Federation:
Slavs are barbarians, second-class people, almost beasts (according to Patriarch V. Gundyaev)
Russia has been and remains the home of the Jewish people (according to V. Putin)

Because of this, the weblog since 2005 is subject to eternal pressure on it from the outside, for example
With the introduction of new anti-people laws in 2018, in the near future it will be blocked by the authorities of the Russian Federation, and is not available for viewing on the Internet.

Time and Its Law

For one reason or another, these famous people decided to end their lives by committing suicide, and their famous last words remained in these suicide notes.

Just as they were visible in life, these celebrities were visible in their deaths, which came as a shock to their adoring fans, family members and loved ones. These famous notes have become as famous as the people who wrote them.

Like the last words spoken by criminals before their executions, these words will be the last words these celebrities remember. Some have addressed members of their family, such as rocker Kurt Cobain and Mexican actress Lupe Vélez, while others have focused more on themselves, such as in notes left by author Hunter S. Thompson and poet Sara Tisdale. Other suicide notes or famous last words carried very little, such as the goodbye delivered by the poet Hart Crane before jumping out of the window.

Which celebrities wrote suicide notes? These people left more questions than answers when they decided to end their own lives.

“I feel confident that I will go crazy again. I feel like we can't get through this terrible time and I won't be back this time. I'm starting to hear voices."

Wendy O. Williams

“The act of commemorating my own death is not something I do without thinking much. I do not believe that people should lead their lives without deep and thoughtful reflection for a significant period of time. That the right to do so is one of the most basic rights that any person in free society. Most of the world doesn't make sense to me, but my feelings about what I'm doing are loud and clear to my brain and a place where there is no self, only peace. With love, Wendy."

James Keith "The future is only old age, sickness and pain ... I must calm down, and this is the only way."

Lupe Velez

“Harald, may God forgive you and forgive me, but I would rather take my life and our child before I bear it in shame. Lupe."

Hunter S. Thompson

"No more games. No more bombs, nothing more. There is no more pleasure. No more. 67. That is 17 years from 50. 17 more than I need. Boring. I am always angry. 67. I get greedy. Relax - it won't hurt."

Hunter S. Thompson left a note titled "Football season is over" for his wife Anita. He shot himself four days later at his home in Aspen, Colorado after weeks of pain due to a variety of physical issues that included a broken leg and a hip replacement. At that moment they were talking on the phone.

Kurt Cobain

"Francis and Courtney, I'll be at your altar. Please, Courtney, keep moving because Frances will be a lot happier in your life without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU."

Sara Tisdale

"When I'm dead, and above me is bright April

Shakes hair soaked in rain

You must lean on me, confused

I don't care.

For I will have peace.

Because the deciduous trees- peaceful

When the rain bends with the wind.

And I'll be more quiet and cold hearted

What are you now. ”

“Dear world, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel like I've lived long enough. I leave you with your worries in this sweet cesspool - good luck."

Christine Chubbuck

"And now, in line with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest blood and guts, in live color, you'll be the first to see a suicide attempt."

suicide note- an important attribute of a voluntary departure from life for a suicide and a way to penetrate into final thoughts voluntarily deceased for scientists. We study what and why people write before death for centuries.

"Volodka! I am sending you a receipt from the cash desk of loans - redeem, brother, my velvet jacket and wear it to your health. I'm going on a journey from where no one has ever returned. Farewell, my friend, yours to the grave, which I will need soon "
(student to friend,
late XIX- beginning of the 20th century)

What changes occur in the minds of people who decide to commit suicide? Suicidological studies show that there are quite typical cognitive processes inherent in potential and realized suicides. For example, consciousness narrows, that is, a person’s thinking becomes obsessed with the “all or nothing” principle, when all things are divided into black and white, and a difficult situation rises to the rank of a completely hopeless one. Mental filtering occurs: the individual is often fixed on one unpleasant or terrible memory, a moment that constantly pops up in the mind as proof of the insignificance of his existence. This is complemented by the discrediting of the positive, when a person denies the significance or the very existence of pleasant and joyful experiences and events that begin to be perceived painfully, as some kind of atavism in his depressive picture of the world. The consciousness of a person in such a state is filled with unbearable mental pain, which becomes more and more difficult to fight.

“Dear aunt! I am in the forest now. I'm having fun, picking flowers and looking forward to the train. It would be crazy to ask God for help in what I have in mind, but I still hope to fulfill my desire. ”
(class lady (teacher in the women's gymnasium),
late 19th - early 20th century)

Suicidologists have to work hard to find data that would broadly and qualitatively cover the mental state of a suicide. First of all, stories and written notes of surviving suicides are used for this, where they describe in detail how their consciousness sometimes changed over several months before they decided on last step. Another valuable material is suicide notes, the last words of a man who has crossed the line. However, usually only 15-40% of suicides leave suicide letters, which limits the possibility of using this source as the most reliable source for interpreting the motives of suicides. But in criminology, for qualifying death as a suicide, a suicide note is one of the strongest arguments (along with the characteristic method of death, place and family circumstances). Of course, there is always the possibility of a fake note to make the murder look like a suicide, but on this moment there is a whole well-developed methodology, which is aimed at distinguishing false suicide notes from real ones.

“I am very tired of this whirlwind of emotions, so I decided to put an end to it by passing away”
(a woman in her sixties,
end of the 20th century)

A suicide note tells a lot: what a person felt, what he thought, who he would like to see at the last moment, what he advises those close ones whom he leaves, and most importantly, what is the motive for his unwillingness to continue life on any terms. "Suicide note" is the most accurate expression. This is a really short message, which most often fits on a notebook or printed sheet. But there are also real suicide letters - long treatises affecting the most various themes- from unrequited love to the current political and economic situation. It is characteristic that the functionality of paper in this case limited - only a few close people, a few policemen and investigators will read the farewell words of a suicide (with the exception of those cases when the suicide notes are published in the media). The Internet, in particular, can be considered as a new public space for writing suicide letters. social media. Here, already thousands of people will be able to see and read the dying message, which, however, sometimes acquires a demonstratively blackmailing character.

"Let's leave beautifully"
(Denis Muravyov, Katerina Vlasova,
2016)

Perhaps the first suicide note was written on papyrus.

“…Who am I talking to now?
The brothers are evil
And a righteous person is considered an enemy.
Who am I talking to now?
No righteous left
The land was given to the creators of lawlessness ....

Death is before me now
Like the smell of myrrh
Like sailing in the wind.
Death is before me now
Like the smell of lotus flowers
Like sweet drunken madness.
Death is before me now
Like a longing to return home
After many years in captivity

These poetic lines, a spiritual cry of almost four thousand years ago, are now in Berlin Museum. They were written by an unknown Egyptian on papyrus, presumably during the Middle Kingdom (2040-1783 BC) in Ancient Egypt. Most of the papyrus has been lost, but four poems have survived, each of which began with its own anaphora and represented a conversation between a person and his soul. There are many religious and philosophical references in the text that reflect the worldview of the Egyptians of that time, but here's what is interesting: the state of depressive reflection in which the author is immersed exactly corresponds to modern description state of mind patients suffering from severe depression. This is the same conflict with conscience because of the desire to commit suicide, depression, uncertainty about the future, a gloomy picture of the world, paranoia. And even such a detail: the Egyptian believes that others treat him as a bad smell or an unfaithful wife - so modern patients with severe depressive disorders tend to believe that they exude bad smells. It is hard to say for sure whether this unfortunate man ended up killing himself, but it seems that the symptoms of a depressive mental state have not changed over the millennia.

"I'm tired of living and I'm not fit"
(teacher,
late 19th - early 20th century)

(there was text here)

"The sun rises for me in last time; it is impossible to live when honor was suspected, the poor heart will stop suffering when it stops beating, but it is a pity that not from a French bullet.

And after the publication of Goethe's novel "The Sorrows of Young Werther", a wave of imitating suicides of young people swept across Europe, who considered suicide from unrequited love beautiful. romantic act. And subsequently, such a death was established as a literary cliché.

“I begged her on my knees to come back, but she didn’t understand. Goodbye everyone!"
(Vitaly Zheleznov,
year 2014)

Is suicide considered justified, the reason for which was the departure of the spouse? IN modern society such a reason, most likely, does not seem weighty enough. But the cultural taboo against suicide, the social rejection of this phenomenon, works only within certain limits. As long as the case is abstract, people tend to condemn suicide. However, with the advent of a real incident, the attitude towards this changes:

“Dear Mary, I am writing these lines to you because they are the last. I really thought you and baby Joe would come back into my life, but you never did. I know that you have found another person, obviously better than me. I hope that son of a bitch dies. I love you so much and Joe too. It hurts so much to think that nothing worked out for you and me. I dreamed a lot about our life together, but it turned out to be only dreams. I always hoped that they would come true, but now I am sure that this will never happen. I hope to be in heaven, although in my case I will surely go to hell ... "

The suicide note, as it were, animates the specific case of one unfortunate person, it reveals his motives, his experiences, which can be understood; empathy kicks in. The social notion “suicide is bad” fades into the background, and sympathy, human understanding is connected instead.

“… Please take care of little Joe, because I love him with all my heart. Don't tell him what happened. Say that I went far, far away and maybe someday I will return. Add that you don't know exactly when. Well, that seems to be it. Take care of yourself. P.S. I know we had chances to make up, but you didn't want it, you wanted to fuck someone else, well, now you've made it. I can't really tell if I hate you or love you. You will never know. Sincerely yours, your husband George"
(male, twenty-four years old,
end of the 20th century)

A suicide note is the last communicative act of a person who has decided to take his own life. Suicidologists identify certain parameters for the analysis of suicide notes, which make it possible to understand the experiences and emotional states of suicides, as well as characteristic, recurring motives; Ultimately, this helps the experts of the preventive suicidological service to act more effectively.

Suicide letters in most cases have recipients. Often this is a spouse, children, mother, other relatives. These are letters of apology, a wish to live happily ever after, about love, sometimes it can be a cynical message:

“My dear parents, I inform you that I white light retired, and you be healthy "
(a young man from a merchant family,
late 19th - early 20th century)

In some cases, when the act of suicide plays the role of a protest against the structure of society, the mass audience becomes the addressee. For example, this is a note from businessman Ivan Ankushev, who committed several murders of the city's ruling elite of Kirovsk before committing suicide (2009):

“Letter of Confrontation. I am an entrepreneur Ivan Ankushev, I run a business and own four stores. I am not allowed to do what I want to do. There is no hope for the honesty of the arbitral tribunal. You have destroyed me. Can't live to see mushroom picking. This is my favorite pastime."

Most of the notes touch on certain topics: the most common is an apology for one's act or for one's entire life, the second most mentioned is the inability to endure suffering or pain, then love, practical instructions or advice, and also, of course, accusations. Often these themes are combined:

“Forgive me, because today I will die. I just can't live without you. And that means you can die. Maybe there will be peace. I have such a terrible feeling of emptiness inside that just kills me. No more strength to endure it. When you left me I died inside. I must say that I have nothing left but broken heart and that is what motivates me to do this. I cry out to God to help me, but He does not hear me. I had no other choice"
(a man of thirty-one,
end of the 20th century)

Death messages are often filled with heavy emotions: guilt and regret, feelings of hopelessness, anger, shame, fear. In most cases, guilt and regret predominate:

“Khana, take care of yourself and your son and forgive me for your warped life: forgive me, my holy Khana! If I didn’t get along with you, then with whom in the world can I live ”
(lieutenant,
late 19th - early 20th century)

Anger is much less common, and it is more typical for men who accuse their wives of driving them to suicide. But there are also angry messages from women, for example, a letter from an adult inmate of an orphanage to former teacher(late XIX - early XX century):

“Did you really turn your tongue to say that I was a woman when I got along with you. Know, cursed one, that the child is already moving, and, dying, both I and he curse you. You could restore life to me and to him with one word. You didn't want to. Let all the misfortunes be on your head. Endure only failures in all matters, be a vagabond, a drunkard, and let my curse weigh on you everywhere and everywhere. I will haunt you day and night... I really want to live.”

Based on the analysis of emotions, topics and addressees of suicide letters, suicidologists identified the alleged motives for suicides:

Avoidance

(guilt, punishment, suffering)

This is the most frequently mentioned motive - the inability to endure the unbearable heartache loss, guilt or shame for a socially unacceptable act.

“I am sitting alone. Now, finally, there will be freedom from the mental anguish that I experienced. This should come as no surprise to anyone. My eyes are very for a long time talking about desperation. Rejection, failure, and disappointment have broken me. There is no way to get yourself out of this hell. Farewell, love. I'm sorry"
(man, forty-nine years old, late 20th century)

(revenge)

Protest against heavy family problems, against the injustice of society towards the individual, against cruelty - another frequent motive, which is much more common among people in age group twenty-six to thirty-five years of age. This motif is often associated with the expression of emotions of anger and accusation, and the note is often addressed to a specific person.

"This is revenge, she pressed on my chest"
(Bekir Nebiev, 2015)

self-punishment

An attempt to punish oneself or atone for guilt for actions that are subjectively assessed as severe and irreparable.

"Mommy, mommy! I'm leaving so as not to return as a traitor, to disgrace everyone, our entire family. It happens, be patient. I am begging you. I am with you the one that was before ... "
(Alexander Dolmatov, 2013)

Compulsion

The motive, the purpose of which is to draw the attention of the recipients to some problem and force them to change their behavior.

The note may be a desperate attempt to draw other people's attention to their mental suffering, is not necessarily demonstrative, and may not be perceived by the person himself as a cry for help.

“Since I don’t have the love that I need so much, then I have nothing left”
(woman, forty-five, late 20th century)

Often motives are combined, combined with each other. Although not all suicide notes are easy to interpret and talk about the presence of some motives. There are concise, short messages, from which it is difficult to understand anything (the end of the 19th - the beginning of the 20th century): “I want to go to the other world”, “It's time to play catch”. Or unusual notes containing existential reflections:

“Feelings experienced at the top of the rock at Kegon Falls: The world is too big and history is too long to be appreciated by such a tiny creature as a five-foot tall creature ... The true nature of all things is beyond understanding. I decided to die with this thought… Now, at the top of the cliff, I no longer experience anxiety.”
(Mi-sao Fujimura, 1903)

Composing a suicide note can be a spontaneous decision, when it is written quickly, on the first piece of paper that comes to hand, or it can be comprehended for a long time. Anatoly Koni, a Russian lawyer of the late 19th century who wrote Suicide in Law and Life, gives the following example: “The provincial artist Bernheim, twenty-two years old, is poisoned by cocaine and in a letter to her brother describes in detail the gradual sensation, “when the soul flies away under the influence of the poison ", and ends the letter with an unfinished phrase:" And here is the horse ... ". Nevertheless, short death messages written on a sheet torn from a notebook are more common:

"Don't blame anyone. thorny path life obstructed my path, I tried to free myself, but in vain. Now I don’t want to go anymore and I can’t”
(teacher, late 19th – early 20th century)

Traditionally, paper is used for suicide letters, but there are exceptions: suicide notes are also found on random objects - scraps of wrapping or toilet paper, prescription forms, the surface of a tablecloth, or even leather. In a far from positive sense, social media is becoming an increasingly popular medium for posting death messages to family, friends, and more.

“I apologize to everyone who knew me, but Omaha changed me and plowed me, and the school where I now go is even worse. You will hear about the evil that I will do, but the damn school brought me to this. I want you to remember me for who I was before. I know that I have greatly affected the lives of the families that I have destroyed, I am very sorry. Farewell"
(a suicide note from an American high school student posted on his Facebook page, 2011)

Albert Camus wrote: “There is only one really serious philosophical problem - the problem of suicide. To decide whether or not life is worth living is to answer the fundamental question of philosophy ... These are the conditions of the game: you need to give an answer. This is a good philosophical question, but Everyday life people are not inclined to stop and find a place and time to think about the answer. Only for suicides - those who decide that the game is not worth the candle - the search for a solution becomes meaningful. And don’t they look in their notes for reasons that could refute the value of life with its endless suffering? They can be understood. But the result of reading a suicide letter may turn out to be paradoxical: thanks to empathy, readers think about the main philosophical problem Why we exist and how we should live our lives.

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Last letter to sons

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg (USA) accused of passing information about the atomic bomb Soviet Union. On April 5, 1951, they were sentenced to death, and on June 19 they were executed in the electric chair. On the day of their execution, they wrote this letter to their two sons.

Our dearest, most precious children, even this morning it seemed to us that we could meet again. But now this is not feasible. And I so want you to know everything that I have learned. Unfortunately, I can only write a few simple words everything else your life has to teach you, just as mine taught me. At first, of course, you will grieve for us, but you will not be alone. This is what consoles us, and what should, in the end, help you. One day you will realize that life is worth living. Know that even now, when our life is slowly moving towards the end, our convictions are stronger than our executioners! Your life must teach you that good cannot flourish in the heart of evil, that freedom and all those things that make life truly worthy and true must sometimes come at a very high price. Know that we calmly accept the fact that civilization has not yet reached the point where it is not necessary to sacrifice life for the sake of life, and that we are comforted by the firm confidence that others will continue our work. We would like to enjoy life with you. Your father, who remains by my side during these last hours, sends you, our dear boys, all his heart and all his love. Always remember that we were innocent and could not compromise our conscience. We hold you close and kiss you with all our might. With love, Mom and Dad, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg

Melissa Nathan. Last letter to family

Melissa Nathan was a popular English writer. In 2001 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. In April 2006, shortly after her son's third birthday, she died at the age of 37. Her latest novel, The Learning Curve, came out after her death in August 2006. Knowing that she would never see it published again, Melissa used the first pages of the book to say goodbye to her family.

I found myself in the unusual position of knowing that this book would most likely be published after my death. So forgive me for a rather strange introduction. First, I want to thank my wonderful parents. You have given me a life full of love, support and friendship. I was lucky to look you both in the eyes as equals, and at the same time look up at you. Please don't ever think that I had a hard life. I have lived a great 37 years and I am grateful to both of you for what you have given me. I am happy and at peace with myself. My dear Andrew. I respect you as much as I love you, and that means a lot. If anyone can handle my departure, it's you. After all, you lived with me for almost 12 years, and it's not that easy. I'm so glad I got to know you. You were my safe harbor, my gentle giant, my best friend, my everything. I wish you a happy life full of love and joy. And you, my beautiful Sammy. I would like to get to know you better, my love, but this will not happen. And yet, despite the fact that you are only three years old, you have already left an imprint in my heart that will stay with me wherever I go. Motherhood has made my life precious. You gave me this. What can a mother wish for her son? I wish you happiness. You have a wonderful father and a family that adores you. Go into the world knowing that you were everything to me and that you won't have to deal with an annoying mother who will try to kiss you when you turn 15. I will kiss you from afar in heaven.

Captain Kuno. Last letter to children

Captain Kuno is a Japanese pilot, a kamikaze volunteer who died in May 1945. Before his last flight, he wrote a letter to his children: son (5 years old) and daughter (2 years old).

Dear Masanori and Kyoko, even if you cannot see me, I will always look at you. Listen to your mom and don't upset her. When you grow up, choose your own path and become good Japanese. Do not be jealous that other children have fathers, for I will become a spirit and watch over both of you. Study well and help your mom. I can't help you so be each other best friends. I was an energetic person, I flew a big bomber and killed all the enemies. Please become better than me, this will avenge my death.

Wild Bill Hickok. Last letter to wife

James Butler Hickok, aka Wild Bill, was a famous gunfighter and scout in the Wild West. On August 2, 1876, he played poker. A former buffalo hunter named Jack McCall entered the saloon. He shouted "Get it!" and shot Bill at point-blank range. Shortly before this, Bill had a bad feeling and wrote a short Farewell letter to his wife.

Dear Agnes, if it happens that we do not meet again, then with my last shot I will tenderly pronounce the name of my wife - Agnes - and, wishing well even to my enemies, I will dive and try to reach the other shore.

Jacob Vowell. Last letter to family

On May 19, 1902, there was an explosion in a coal mine in Tennessee that killed 216 miners. Some of them survived the explosion and for some time waited for help behind the rubble. Jacob ended up in the mine with his 14-year-old son Elbert. Out of breath, he wrote a letter to his wife Ellen and his family.

Ellen, dear, we say goodbye to you. Elbert says the Lord will save him. Take care of our children. We all pray for air to go, but we are getting worse. Horace, Elbert says you can wear his boots and clothes. I hand over Paul Harmon's watch to Andy Wood. Ellen, I want you to live well and go to heaven. Little Elbert said he trusted the Lord. Breathing is getting harder. Dear Ellen, I left you in poverty, but I hope the Lord will help you raise my little children. Elbert said that he would meet you all in paradise, that all the children would meet us there. Please take care of them. Oh how I wish I was with you. Goodbye everyone, goodbye. Bury Albert and me in the same grave as little Eddie. Goodbye Ellen, goodbye Lilly, goodbye Jimmy, goodbye Minnie, goodbye Horace. Oh my god, another breath of air. Ellen, remember me while you're alive. Farewell, dear. It's now 25 minutes after two. Few of us survived. Jake and Albert.

Ziyad Jarrah. Last letter to the bride

Ziyad Jarrah is a terrorist, one of the organizers of the September 11, 2001 attacks. He was 26 years old when he hijacked United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed in a field in Pennsylvania. On September 10, he wrote a long letter to his fiancee Aysel, who lived in Germany. She never received the letter because she had moved. The post office returned it to the US, where it ended up in the hands of the FBI. On the first page of the letter:

I don't want you to be sad. I still live somewhere, although you cannot see and hear me, but I will see you and know what is happening to you. And I'll wait until you come to me. Everyone has their time and everyone will leave one day. It’s my fault that I made you hope for a wedding, marriage, children and a family ... You should be proud of me, because this is a matter of honor, and you will see that everyone will be happy as a result ... I did what I had to do.

At the end, Ziyad wrote:

Remember who you are and what is worthy of you. I hug you and kiss your hands and head. I thank you and apologize for the wonderful and difficult 5 years that you spent with me. Your patience… Allah… I am your prince and I will take you. Goodbye! Yours forever.

Captain Robert Scott. Last letter to wife

Captain of the Royal Navy of Great Britain, Antarctic explorer Robert Falcon Scott in March 1922 was returning from the South Pole. Buran locked the expedition members in a tent, they suffered from hunger and cold. Scott was the last to die, having managed to write a letter to his wife Caitlin.

To my widow Dear, beloved. It's not easy for me to write because of the cold - 70 degrees below zero and only a tent protects ... We are at a dead end, and I'm not sure we can handle it. During a short breakfast, I use a little warmth to write letters in preparation for a possible death. If something happens to me, I would like you to know how much you meant to me. I have to write a letter to the boy, I hope when he grows up he will have time to read it. Honey, you know I don't like sentimental bullshit about remarriage. When a worthy man appears in your life, you should become happy again. Get your son interested in science if you can. It's better than games. Try to teach him faith in God, she consoles. Oh my dear, my dear, how I dreamed of his future. And yet, my girl, I know you can handle it. Your portraits will be found on my chest. I could tell you a lot about this trip. What stories could you tell our boy, but, oh, at what cost. Lose the opportunity to see your sweet, sweet face. I think there is no chance. We decided not to kill ourselves, and fight to the end to get to the camp. Death in a fight is painless, so don't worry about me.

Milada Gorakova. Last letter to family

Milada Horakova was a Czech politician and member of parliament. After the Communists came to power, on September 27, 1949, Milada was accused of "preparing a subversive plot." She pleaded not guilty, was sentenced to death and hanged. Before her execution, she was allowed to write three letters: to her husband, 6-year-old daughter and mother-in-law. Here is what she wrote to her child:

It's not that I love you too little, I love you as pure and passionate as other mothers love their children. But I understand that my task in this world was to ... achieve that life was better and that all children could live better .... Don't be afraid and don't be sad because I won't be back. My child, learn as soon as possible to look at life seriously. Life is hard, it doesn't caress anyone, but don't let it conquer you. Choose to fight.

Sullivan Ballou. Last letter to wife

This letter was written in 1861, a week before Major Sullivan Ballou of the 2nd Road Island Volunteers was killed at the Battle of Bull Run, the first major American land battle. civil war.

Dear Sara! Everything suggests that soon we will hit the road, perhaps tomorrow. And since I won't be able to write to you, I feel I must leave a few lines that you might catch your eye when I'm gone. I have no doubt or distrust of the purpose for which we are fighting, and my courage has not dried up or diminished. I know that American civilization rests on the success of our government, and I know that we owe it to those who went through the blood and suffering of the revolution before us. And I wish, sincerely wish, to leave the joys of life in order to support this government and pay this debt. Sarah, my love for you is immortal. It seems to bind me with fetters that only providence can break. But still, my love for the Motherland is above me, it is like a strong wind that takes me with all these shackles to the battlefield. The memories of all the amazing moments I had with you overwhelm me and I am deeply grateful to God and you for enjoying them for so long. How hard it is for me now to leave them and burn to ashes hopes and future years when, by the will of God, we could live and love on and see our boys grow up. worthy men Next to us. If I do not return, my dear Sarah, never forget how I loved you, and that when my last breath escaped, your name sounded in it ... Forgive me my sins and the pain that I caused you. How thoughtless and stupid I have sometimes been!.. But, Sarah, if the dead can return to this earth and hover unseen next to those they love, I will always be with you. And the brightest day, and the darkest night ... always, always. And when a light wind touches your cheeks, it will be my breath, and when the cool air refreshes your forehead, know that my spirit has flown by. Sarah, don't mourn for me - believe that I just left and wait for me, because we will meet again.

Mary, Queen of Scots. Last letter to Henry III, King of France

Mary Stuart, arrested on the orders of Elizabeth, was sentenced to death for her part in a conspiracy against the Queen. On the morning of February 8, 1587, 6 hours before her execution, Mary wrote last letter her late husband's brother, King Henry III. In the message, she claimed that she was being punished only for her faith and for her right to the English throne, and also asked Henry to take care of her servants - when she was executed, they would be left without a livelihood. Her last letter ended like this:

I took the liberty of sending you two precious stone, a talisman against diseases, hoping that you will live in good health for a long and happy life. Accept them from your loving sister-in-law, who, in the approach of death, testifies to her warm feelings for you. Arrange, if you please, that for the salvation of my soul all that I have bequeathed be paid, and that, in the name of Jesus Christ, to whom I pray for you before I die, enough is left for me to serve a memorial service and gave, as is customary, alms to the poor. Tuesday at two o'clock in the morning. Your most sensitive and devoted sister.

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