Sofya Andreevna Tolstaya "my life" and diaries to read and listen to. The tragedy of the wife of Leo Tolstoy The maiden name of Sofia Andreevna Tolstoy

29. FROM THE LETTER OF SOFIA NIKOLAEVNA KACHALOVA TO A. L. BLOCK December 29, 1901 Petersburg<…>Sashura visits us quite often this year, if we take into account the far distance that<орое>separates us. He is very good<ень>does a lot, in performances, thank God, not

30. FROM THE LETTER OF SOFIA NIKOLAEVNA KACHALOVA TO A. L. BLOCK January 6, 1903 Petersburg<…>Sasha, imagine, has not been with us since your arrival, and I only briefly saw him at one concert by Olenina d'Alheim where he was with his mother and stepfather and, as it seemed to me,

About the fate of Princess Sophia “For seven years her voice will be the main one in Moscow. But a friend will take such a will that everyone will turn away and leave her. Those who are faithful to her will be put to death. A friend will be sent from Moscow. It is her age to be the bride of Christ. ”Indeed, Sophia was regent for seven years

“What Our Skeletons Raise to the Pearly Sky”: Siege Records by Sofia Ostrovskaya Instead of an Afterword And Our Grandmothers and Daughters Curled Up into White Lumps. Dmitry Maksimov, 1942. Our entire house and was buried… Catullus, 1st c. BC e. It so happened that from Sophia's diary

More than a hundred years have passed since the great Leo Tolstoy passed away, but his personal life is still hotly discussed. IN Lately the position is popular: Tolstoy was a sufferer in his house, and his wife, who did not understand him, achieved only that he left. But in reality, everything was much more complicated ...

After the first sex, he said: "Not that!"

With the family of Lyubov Bers, who had three daughters, Tolstoy was familiar from childhood. But in his youth, he was passionate about learning languages, organizing schools, war, becoming himself as a writer ... And only at the age of 34 he decided to marry 18-year-old Sonya Bers. Tolstoy chose his wife not only with his heart, but also with his mind, he was looking for a creature that would obey his ideas.

Tolstoy honestly told the bride about his premarital affairs, he wanted there to be no deceit between them. However, the close relationship of the spouses did not immediately develop, the first entry of the young husband in the diary the next morning: “Not that!”

Sofya Tolstaya was a well-educated young lady, accustomed to going out into the world, playing the piano, and guests. And her husband locked her for nineteen years in Yasnaya Polyana, in his family estate. At the same time, Sofya Andreevna, like all women of that time, gave birth "a child a year." In total, she gave birth to thirteen children, five of whom died in childhood. Because of the inflammation of the mammary glands, it was difficult for her to feed, she did it anyway, primarily at the insistence of her husband, who did not recognize the nurses. The first fifteen years the couple lived quietly and happily. Tolstoy listened to the opinion of Sofya Andreevna and it was at her request that he acquired a house in Khamovniki in 1882, where they soon moved. It was in this house that dramatic events unfolded ...

Because of the father, the daughter slept on the boards

Tolstoy is over 60 years old. It seemed that at that age it was just right to warm up by the fireplace, surrounded by children and grandchildren. But just during this period, the writer happened spiritual crisis and the desire to rethink your life. Lev Nikolaevich suddenly came to the conclusion that all the excesses and advantages of the upper class are evil! Soon they began to call him the “count-muzhik” because he himself chopped wood, carried water, was engaged in crafts, walked in simple peasant clothes. Unfortunately, neither his wife nor most of the children could agree with him on this. Tolstoy constantly quarreled with his older sons, and reproached the younger ones for excessive spoilage and laziness. Eldest daughter Tatiana, talented artist, dreamed of going out into the world, hosted the creative elite. Only daughter Mary followed her father, becoming a true ascetic. The girl slept on boards, did not eat meat, worked hard day and night ... When she died of pneumonia in 1906, it was a huge blow to her father. Only she understood when Tolstoy said in his hearts: - It is very hard in the family. I can't sympathize with them! All the joys of children: the exam, the successes of the world, music, the atmosphere - I consider all this a misfortune and evil for them! And the creator and center of this "evil" was Sofya Andreevna, on whom all household concerns lay. She happily created coziness, which irritated her husband. From time to time Tolstoy began to shout that the family was too accustomed to excesses. He said that all property must be distributed. That it is not good to use the labor of servants. The final blow to the family was the death of 8-year-old son Vanechka. It was truly unusual boy, deeply understanding, kind, given by God. He reconciled everyone in the family. When he died of scarlet fever, Sofya Andreevna almost lost her mind. And Lev Nikolaevich wrote in his diary: "Nature tries to give the best and, seeing that the world is not yet ready for them, takes them back."

Thanked his wife only after death

In the spring of 1901, having lost hope of understanding his family and tired of city life, he left his Moscow home, returning to Yasnaya Polyana. The writer began to openly criticize the authority of the Orthodox Church.

He recognized only five commandments, which, in his opinion, were the true precepts of Christ and which guided his life: do not fall into anger; do not give in to lust; do not bind yourself with oaths; do not resist evil; be equally good with the righteous and the unrighteous.

Relations with his wife became cold. Sofya Andreevna was accused by many of not wanting to follow her husband and “walk in rags,” but she had her own truth.

“He expected from me, my poor, dear husband, that spiritual unity, which was almost impossible with my material life and worries from which it was impossible and nowhere to escape, - she later wrote in her memoirs. “I would not have been able to share his spiritual life in words, but to put it into practice, to break it, dragging a whole big family, it was unthinkable, and unbearable!

Not to mention the fact that Tolstaya raised so many children, she very seriously helped her husband in her work, copying by hand drafts of his works (thousands of pages), negotiating with publishers. Was the author of Anna Karenina and War and Peace grateful to her for all this? Of course, but Sofya Andreevna was convinced of this already after the death of her husband, when she was given a letter where the writer summed up their life together: “The fact that I left you does not prove that I was dissatisfied with you ... I do not blame you, on the contrary, I remember with gratitude the long 35 years of our life! It's not my fault... I have changed, but not for myself, not for people, but because I can't do otherwise! I can't blame you for not following me."

Tolstoy died in 1910 at the age of 82. Sofya Andreevna survived her husband by nine years. It was thanks to her that many things from the house were preserved, which can now be seen in the writer's house-museum in Khamovniki.

Marina Klimenkova.

These two stories are amazing in their strength, but even more - in their paradox, or something. Because it may seem: the great Leo Tolstoy suddenly appears as some kind of moral monster. But, thinking about it, you understand: there are people who cannot be judged according to our everyday laws. Tolstoy was just "different". With a different attitude to death, even the closest people.
And with a different understanding of love.

"The house of doctors is full..."

In early September 1906, Sofya Andreevna underwent a difficult and dangerous operation to remove a purulent cyst. The operation had to be done right in the Yasnaya Polyana house, because it was already too late to transport the patient to Tula. So decided the well-known professor Vladimir Fedorovich Snegirev, summoned by a telegram.

He was an experienced surgeon, but to perform an operation on Tolstoy's wife, and even in non-clinical conditions, means taking risks and taking on a huge responsibility! Therefore, Snegirev several times literally interrogated Tolstoy: does he agree to the operation? The reaction unpleasantly struck the doctor: Tolstoy "washed his hands"...

In Snegirev's memoirs, published in 1909, one can feel barely restrained irritation with the head of the family and the writer, whose genius the professor admired. But professional duty forced him to corner Tolstoy again and again with a direct question: would he agree to a risky operation, as a result of which his wife might die, but without which he would die without a doubt? And he will die in terrible agony...

The professional duty of the surgeon forced him again and again to drive Tolstoy into a corner with a direct question: would he agree to a risky operation, as a result of which his wife might die, but without which he would die without a doubt?

At first Tolstoy was against it. For some reason he assured himself that Sofya Andreyevna would certainly die. And, according to Sasha's daughter, "he cried not from grief, but from joy ...", admiring how his wife behaved in anticipation of death.

“With great patience and meekness, my mother endured the illness. The stronger the physical suffering, the softer and brighter she became,” Sasha recalled. “She did not complain, did not grumble about fate, did not demand anything, and only thanked everyone, said something to everyone Feeling the approach of death, she humbled herself, and everything worldly, vain flew away from her.

It was this spiritually beautiful state of his wife that, according to Tolstoy, the doctors who arrived, who, in the end, gathered eight people, wanted to disturb.

"The house of doctors is full," he writes in his diary with hostility.

At the same time, he feels “special pity” for his wife, because she is “touchingly reasonable, truthful and kind.” And he tries to explain to Snegirev: "I am against interference, which, in my opinion, violates the grandeur and solemnity of the great act of death." And he is rightly indignant, clearly realizing: in the event of an unfavorable outcome of the operation, the entire burden of responsibility will fall on him. "Killed" Tolstoy's wife against her husband's will...

And the wife at this time suffers unbearably from the onset of an abscess. She is constantly injected with morphine. She calls the priest, but when he comes, Sofya Andreevna is already unconscious. According to the testimony of the personal doctor of the Tolstoy Dushan Makovitsky, mortal anguish begins ...

"I'm withdrawing..."

What about Tolstoy? He is neither for nor against. He says to Snegirev: "I'm leaving... The children will gather, the eldest son, Sergei Lvovich, will arrive... And they will decide what to do... But, in addition, you must, of course, ask Sofya Andreevna."

Meanwhile, the house is getting crowded. “Almost the whole family came together,” recalled Sasha, who became the hostess during her mother’s illness, “and, as always happens, when many young, strong and idle people gather, despite anxiety and grief, they immediately filled the house with noise, vanity and animation, they talked, drank, ate endlessly. Professor Snegirev, a fat, good-natured and loud-voiced man, demanded a lot of attention to himself ... It was necessary to put everyone who had come to bed, feed everyone, order them to slaughter chickens, turkeys, send to Tula for medicine, for wine and fish (more than twenty people sat at the table), send out coachmen for those who come to the station, to the city ... "

Before leaving home, Tolstoy said: "If there is a successful operation, ring the bell for me twice, and if not, then... No, it's better not to ring at all, I'll come myself..."

There is shift duty near the sick bed, and Tolstoy has nothing to do there. But from time to time he comes to his wife. “At 10.30 L.N. entered,” writes Makovitsky, “stood at the door, then ran into Dr. S.M. Polilov, talked with him, as if not daring to invade the realm of doctors, into the sick room. and sat down on a stool away from the bed, between the door and the bed. Sofya Andreevna asked: "Who is this?" L. N. answered: "Who did you think?" sleeping! What time is it?" She complained and asked for water. L.N. gave it to her, kissed her, said: "Sleep" and quietly left. Then at midnight he came on tiptoe again.

“During the operation itself, he went to Chepyzh and went there alone and prayed,” recalled his son Ilya.

Before leaving, he said: “If there is a successful operation, ring the bell for me twice, and if not, then ... No, it’s better not to ring at all, I’ll come myself ...”

The operation went well. However, the catgut with which the wound was sewn up turned out to be rotten. During the operation, the professor scolded the supplier with the most abusive words: "Oh, you German muzzle! Son of a bitch! Damn German ..."

The tumor, the size of a child's head, was shown to Tolstoy. “He was pale and gloomy, although he seemed calm, as if indifferent,” recalled Snegirev. “And, looking at the cyst, he asked me in an even, calm voice:“ Is it over? Is that what you deleted?"

And when he saw his wife, who had recovered from anesthesia, he was horrified and left her room indignant:

"They won't let a man die in peace! A woman is lying with a slit stomach, tied to a bed, without a pillow ... she moans more than before the operation. This is some kind of torture!"

He felt like he had been deceived by someone.

"It's terribly sad," writes Tolstoy in his diary. "It's a pity for her. Great suffering and almost in vain."

They parted dryly with Snegirev.

“He was a little talkative,” the professor recalled his farewell to Tolstoy in his office, “he sat all the time frowning, and when I began to say goodbye to him, he didn’t even half rise, but, half-turning, held out his hand to me, barely muttering some courtesy. All this conversation and his address made a sad impression on me. It seemed that he was dissatisfied with something, but neither in my actions and behavior or my assistants, nor in the state of the disease, I could not find the reasons for this discontent ... ".

How to explain the husband's reaction, knowing that the surgeon Snegirev gave his wife thirteen years of life?

Tolstoy, of course, did not want the death of his wife. To suggest such a thing is not only monstrous, but also incorrect - in fact. Both Tolstoy's diary and the memoirs of Sasha's daughter indicate that he rejoiced at Sofya Andreevna's recovery.

First, he really loved and appreciated her and was attached to her forty years of marriage. Secondly, the recovery of Sofya Andreevna meant that Yasnaya Polyana life was returning to its usual course, and for Tolstoy with his rational way of life, and even in view of his age, this was urgently needed. And although, according to Sasha, “sometimes father recalled with emotion how beautifully mother endured suffering, how she was affectionate, kind to everyone,” this did not mean at all that he was not happy about her salvation.

The issue, it seems to me, was something else. Tolstoy felt spiritually wounded. He was determined to meet his wife's death as a "disclosure" of her inner being, but instead received a huge purulent cyst from Snegirev. At the same time, Tolstoy seemed calm, but in fact he experienced a strong spiritual shock. Because this crap was the real reason wife's suffering.

Temporary victory of the material over the spiritual

He felt like a loser, and Snegirev felt like a winner. Most likely, Snegirev understood this, judging by the tone of his memories. And so Tolstoy could not, without falsehood, express his ardent gratitude to the doctor for saving his wife; this, in Tolstoy's eyes, was only a temporary victory of the material over the spiritual. She had no real price for him and was just a sign of the animal nature of man, from which Tolstoy himself, approaching death, experienced more and more rejection. He understood that he himself would have to part with it, it would be put in a coffin, and what would be left after? That's what worried him! That's what he kept thinking about!

The superstitious Sofya Andreevna seriously believed that it was she, "who came to life after a dangerous operation", "took Masha's life"

And it must have happened that just two months after Sofya Andreevna's successful operation, his most beloved daughter Masha suddenly died of pneumonia. Her death was so sudden and swift, with the absolute helplessness of the doctors, that the thought involuntarily creeps in: did Masha give her father this death? In any case, the superstitious Sofya Andreevna seriously believed that it was she who, "coming to life after a dangerous operation," "took away Masha's life" (from a letter from Lydia Veselitskaya).

"I feel neither horror nor fear..."

Masha burned down in a few days. “She couldn’t speak, she just moaned weakly like a child,” Sasha recalled. “A blush burned on her thin cheeks, she couldn’t roll over from weakness, her whole body must have hurt. side to side, her face wrinkled painfully, and the moans grew stronger. Once I somehow awkwardly took hold and hurt her, she screamed and looked reproachfully at me. And long later, remembering her cry, I could not forgive myself for the awkward movements..."

The atmosphere of this event was very different from what happened in Yasnaya Polyana two months ago. There were few doctors... None of the relatives made any noise, did not fuss... Tolstoy was not asked about anything... Ilya Lvovich writes in his memoirs that "her death did not particularly strike anyone."

Tatyana Lvovna's diary contains a short entry: "Sister Masha died of pneumonia." There was nothing terrible in this death. But a young thirty-five-year-old woman died, who married late and did not have time to taste real family happiness ...

The description of the daughter's death in Tolstoy's diary seems to be a continuation of the description of the wife's death, which did not take place due to the intervention of doctors. “Now, at one o’clock in the morning, Masha has died. It’s a strange thing. I feel neither horror, nor fear, nor consciousness of something exceptional happening, not even pity, grief ... Yes, this event is in the bodily realm and therefore indifferent. I watched all the time at her, as she was dying: surprisingly calm. For me, she was a creature opening up before my opening. I followed its opening, and it was joyful to me ... ".

According to Makovitsky, ten minutes before his death, Tolstoy kissed his daughter's hand.

Parting

Four years later, dying at the Astapovo station, Leo Tolstoy called not living wife but the departed daughter. Sergei Lvovich, who was sitting at his father’s bedside on the eve of his death, writes: “At that time, I involuntarily overheard how my father realized that he was dying. He lay with his eyes closed and occasionally uttered individual words from his thoughts, which he often did when he was healthy, when he was thinking about something that worried him, he would say: "It's a bad thing, your business is bad..." And then: "Fine, wonderful." Then he suddenly opened his eyes and, looking up, said loudly: "Masha! Masha!" A shiver ran down my spine. I realized that he remembered the death of my sister Masha."

He walked through the melting wet snow with a frequent senile gait, sharply twisting his toes as always, and never looked back ...

But the body of Tolstoy's daughter was carried only to the end of the village. "... He stopped us, said goodbye to the deceased and went home along the spekt," recalled Ilya Lvovich. ..."

The story of the love and life of Leo Tolstoy and his wife Sofya Andreevna, who lived with the writer for 48 years and bore him 13 children.

On September 23, 1862, Leo Tolstoy married Sofya Andreevna Bers. She was 18 years old at that time, the count was 34. They lived together for 48 years, until Tolstoy's death, and this marriage cannot be called easy or uncloudedly happy. Nevertheless, Sofya Andreevna bore the count 13 children, published both a lifetime collection of his works and a posthumous edition of his letters. Tolstoy, in the last message written to his wife after a quarrel and before leaving home for his last way to the Astapovo station, he admitted that he loved her, no matter what - only he couldn’t live with her.


Reproduction of "Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy and Sofya Andreevna Tolstaya at the Table" by artist Ilya Repin.

Sofya Andreevna, both during her husband's lifetime and after his death, was accused of not understanding her husband, not sharing his ideas, being too mundane and far from the count's philosophical views. He himself accused her of this, and this, in fact, became the cause of numerous disagreements that darkened the last 20 years of their life together. Nevertheless, Sofya Andreevna cannot be reproached for being a bad wife. Having devoted his whole life not only to the birth and upbringing of numerous children, but also to taking care of the house, household, solving peasant and economic problems, as well as preserving creative heritage great husband, she forgot about dresses and social life.

See you first and only wife Count Tolstoy - a descendant of an ancient noble family, in which the blood of several noble families was mixed at once - had already managed to make both a military and a pedagogical career, was a famous writer. Tolstoy was familiar with the Bersov family even before his service in the Caucasus and travel around Europe in the 50s. Sophia was the second of three daughters of the doctor of the Moscow Palace Office Andrei Bers and his wife Lyubov Bers, nee Islavina. The Berses lived in Moscow, in an apartment in the Kremlin, but they often visited the Tula estate of the Islavins in the village of Ivitsy, not far from Yasnaya Polyana. Lyubov Alexandrovna made friends with Lev Nikolaevich's sister Maria, her brother Konstantin - with the count himself. He saw Sophia and her sisters for the first time as children, they spent time together both in Yasnaya Polyana and in Moscow, played the piano, sang and even once staged an opera house.

Sophia received an excellent home education - from childhood, her mother instilled in her children a love of literature, and later a diploma. home teacher at Moscow University and wrote short stories. In addition, the future Countess Tolstaya from her youth was fond of writing stories and kept a diary, which would later be recognized as one of the outstanding examples of the memoir genre. Returning to Moscow, Tolstoy found no longer a little girl with whom he once staged home performances, but charming girl. The families again began to visit each other, and the Berses clearly noticed the earl's interest in one of his daughters, however for a long time believed that Tolstoy would marry the elder Elizabeth.

For a while, as you know, he doubted himself, but after another day spent with the Bers in Yasnaya Polyana in August 1862, he made a final decision. Sophia conquered him with her spontaneity, simplicity and clarity of judgment. They parted for a few days, after which the count himself came to Ivitsy - to the ball, which was arranged by the Berses and at which Sophia danced so that there was no doubt left in Tolstoy's heart. It is even considered that own feelings at that moment, the writer conveyed in War and Peace, in the scene where Prince Andrei is watching Natasha Rostova at her first ball.

On September 16, Lev Nikolayevich asked the Bers for the hand of their daughter, after sending Sophia a letter to make sure she agreed: “Tell me how fair man do you want to be my wife? Only if with all your heart, you can boldly say: yes, otherwise you’d better say: no, if there is a shadow of self-doubt in you. For God's sake, ask yourself well. It will be terrible for me to hear: no, but I foresee it and find the strength in myself to bear it. But if I will never be loved by my husband the way I love, it will be terrible! Sophia immediately agreed.

Wanting to be honest with his future wife, Tolstoy gave her his diary to read - so the girl found out about the fiancé's turbulent past, about gambling, about numerous novels and passions, including a connection with a peasant girl Aksinya, who was expecting a child from him. Sofya Andreevna was shocked, but she hid her feelings as best she could, nevertheless, she will carry the memory of these revelations through her whole life.
The wedding was played just a week after the engagement - the parents could not resist the pressure of the count, who wanted to get married as soon as possible. It seemed to him that after so many years he had finally found the one he had dreamed of as a child. Having lost his mother early, he grew up listening to stories about her, and thought that his future wife she should be a faithful, loving companion, mother and assistant who fully shares his views, simple and at the same time able to appreciate the beauty of literature and the gift of her husband. This is exactly how Sofya Andreevna saw him - an 18-year-old girl who abandoned city life, secular receptions and beautiful outfits for the sake of living next to her husband in his country estate. The girl took care of the household, gradually getting used to rural life, so different from the one to which she was accustomed.

Seryozha Sofya Andreevna gave birth to her first child in 1863. Tolstoy then took up the writing of War and Peace. Despite the difficult pregnancy, his wife not only continued to do household chores, but also helped her husband in his work - she rewrote drafts cleanly.

For the first time, Sofya Andreevna showed her character after the birth of Seryozha. Unable to feed him herself, she demanded that the count bring a nurse, although he was categorically against it, saying that then the children of this woman would be left without milk. Otherwise, she completely followed the rules set by her husband, solved the problems of the peasants in the surrounding villages, even treated them. She taught and raised all the children at home: in total, Sofya Andreevna gave birth to 13 children to Tolstoy, five of whom died at an early age.

The first twenty years passed almost cloudlessly, but resentment accumulated. In 1877, Tolstoy finished working on Anna Karenina and felt a deep dissatisfaction with life, which upset and even offended Sofya Andreevna. She, who sacrificed everything for him, in return received dissatisfaction with the life that she so diligently arranged for him. Moral quest Tolstoy led him to the formation of commandments, according to which his family now had to live. The count called, among other things, for the simplest existence, the rejection of meat, alcohol, and smoking. He dressed in peasant clothes, he made clothes and shoes for himself, his wife and children, he even wanted to give up all his property in favor of villagers- Sofya Andreevna had to work hard to dissuade her husband from this act. She was sincerely offended that her husband, who suddenly felt guilty before all of humanity, did not feel guilty towards her and was ready to give everything she had acquired and protected for so many years. He expected from his wife that she would share not only his material, but also his spiritual life, his philosophical views. For the first time, after a big quarrel with Sofya Andreevna, Tolstoy left home, and when he returned, he no longer trusted her manuscripts - now the duty to copy drafts fell on her daughters, for whom Tolstaya was very jealous. She was also knocked down by the death of her last child, Vanya, who was born in 1888 - he did not live to be seven years old. This grief at first brought the spouses together, but not for long - the abyss that separated them, mutual insults and misunderstanding, all this prompted Sofya Andreevna to seek solace on the side. She took up music, began to travel to Moscow to take lessons from the teacher Alexander Taneyev. Her romantic feelings for the musician were not a secret either for Taneyev himself or for Tolstoy, but the relationship remained friendly. But the count, who was jealous and angry, could not forgive this "half-treason."

Sofya Tolstaya at the window of the house of the head of the Astapovo station I. M. Ozolin, where the dying Leo Tolstoy lies, 1910.

IN last years mutual suspicions and resentments grew almost into a manic obsession: Sofya Andreevna reread Tolstoy's diaries, looking for something bad that he could write about her. He scolded his wife for being too suspicious: the last, fatal quarrel took place on October 27-28, 1910. Tolstoy packed his things and left home, leaving Sofya Andreevna Farewell letter: “Don't think that I left because I don't love you. I love you and pity you with all my heart, but I can’t do otherwise than I do. According to the stories of the family, after reading the note, Tolstaya rushed to drown herself - miraculously managed to pull her out of the pond. Soon information came that the count, having caught a cold, was dying of pneumonia at the Astapovo station - the children and his wife, whom he did not want to see even then, came to the sick man's house stationmaster. Last meeting Lev Nikolaevich and Sofya Andreevna happened just before the death of the writer, who died on November 7, 1910. The Countess outlived her husband by 9 years, was engaged in publishing his diaries and until the end of her days listened to reproaches that she was a wife not worthy of a genius.

There are still disputes about this couple - so much gossip has not been circulated about anyone and so many speculations have not been born, as about the two of them. Story family life Tolstoy is a conflict between the real and the sublime, between everyday life and a dream, and the spiritual abyss inevitably following this. But who is right in this conflict is a question without an answer. Each of the spouses had their own truth ...

Graph

Mother little Leva died of a fever when he was one and a half years old. Orphaned children were brought up by aunts who told the boy about what an angel his late mother was - both smart and educated, and delicate with the servants, and took care of the children - and how happy the father was with her. Although this was good fairy tale, but it was then that in the imagination of the future writer there was a perfect image the one with which he would like to connect his life.

The search for an ideal turned out to be a heavy burden for the young man, which eventually turned into a pernicious, almost manic attraction to the female sex. Tolstoy's first step towards discovering this new side of life was to visit brothel where his brothers took him. Soon he will write in his diary: "I committed this act, and then I stood by the bed of this woman and cried!"

At the age of 14, Leo experienced a feeling, as he believed, similar to love, seducing a young maid. This picture, already being a writer, Tolstoy will reproduce in "Resurrection", revealing in detail the scene of Katyusha's seduction.

The whole life of the young Tolstoy passed in the development of strict rules of behavior, in spontaneous evasion from them and in a stubborn struggle with personal shortcomings. Only one vice he cannot overcome - voluptuousness. Perhaps admirers of the great writer's work would not have known about his many passions for the female sex - Koloshina, Molostova, Obolenskaya, Arsenyeva, Tyutcheva, Sverbeeva, Shcherbatova, Chicherina, Olsufyeva, Rebinder, the Lvov sisters. But he persistently entered into the diary the details of his love victories.

Tolstoy returned to Yasnaya Polyana full of sensual impulses. “ This is no longer a temperament, but a habit of debauchery”, he wrote upon arrival. “ Lust is terrible, reaching the point of physical illness. He wandered about the garden with a vague, voluptuous hope of catching someone in the bush. Nothing stops me from working."

desire or love

In August 1862, the Bers family went to visit their grandfather at his Ivica estate and stopped at Yasnaya Polyana on the way. And then the 34-year-old Count Tolstoy, who remembered Sonya as a child, suddenly saw a lovely 18-year-old girl who excited him. There was a picnic on the lawn, where Sophia sang and danced, showering everything around with sparks of youth and happiness. And then there were conversations at dusk, when Sonya was shy in front of Lev Nikolaevich, but he managed to get her to talk, and he listened to her with delight, and in parting said: “How clear you are!”

Soon the Berses left Ivits, but now Tolstoy could not live a single day without the girl who won his heart. He suffered and suffered because of the age difference and thought that this deafening happiness was not available to him: " Every day I think that we can't suffer anymore and be happy together, and every day I get crazier. In addition, he was tormented by the question: what is it - desire or love? This difficult period of trying to understand oneself will be reflected in War and Peace.

He could no longer resist his feelings and went to Moscow, where he proposed to Sophia. The girl gladly agreed. Now Tolstoy was absolutely happy: “Never so joyfully, clearly and calmly did I imagine my future with my wife.” But there was one more thing: before getting married, he wanted them to have no secrets from each other.

Sonya had no secrets from her husband - she was pure as an angel. But Lev Nikolaevich had plenty of them. And then he made a fatal mistake that predetermined the course of further family relations. Tolstoy gave the bride to read diaries in which he described all his adventures, passions and hobbies. For the girl, these revelations were a real shock.

Only the mother was able to convince Sonya not to refuse marriage, she tried to explain to her that all men at the age of Lev Nikolayevich have a past, they just wisely hide it from their brides. Sonya decided that she loved Lev Nikolaevich strongly enough to forgive him everything, including Aksinya, a yard peasant woman, who at that time was expecting a child from the count.

family everyday life

Sofya Andreevna for many years was deprived of the charms of Moscow life, to which she had become accustomed since childhood, but she meekly accepted the hardships of a village existence. She raised the children herself, without nannies and governesses. IN free time Sophia was copying the manuscripts of the "mirror of the Russian revolution" in a whitewash. The countess, trying to live up to the ideal of a wife, which Tolstoy told her about more than once, received petitioners from the village, resolved disputes, and eventually opened a hospital in Yasnaya Polyana, where she herself examined the suffering and helped, as far as she had enough knowledge and skills.

Everything that she did for the peasants was actually done for Lev Nikolayevich. The Count took all this for granted, and was never interested in what was going on in the soul of his wife.

Out of the frying pan into the fire...

Sometimes Lev Nikolaevich went beyond the bounds of reason. He demanded that younger children should not be taught what is not needed in a simple folk life, then wanted to give up property, thereby depriving the family of their livelihood. To wanted to renounce the copyright to his works, because he believed that he could not own them and make a profit from them.

Sofya Andreevna stoically defended the interests of the family, which led to the inevitable family collapse. Moreover, her mental anguish revived with renewed vigor. If earlier she did not even dare to be offended by the betrayals of Lev Nikolaevich, now she began to remember all past insults at once.

After all, whenever she, pregnant or just given birth, could not share a marital bed with him, Tolstoy was fond of another maid or cook. Again he sinned and repented... But from his family he demanded obedience and observance of his paranoid charter of life.

Letter from beyond

After the death of the great writer, a flurry of accusations fell upon the widow. Yes, she could not become a like-minded person and an ideal for Tolstoy, but she was a model of a faithful wife and an exemplary mother, sacrificing her happiness for the sake of her family.

While sorting through the papers of her late husband, Sofya Andreevna found his sealed letter to her, dated in the summer of 1897, when Lev Nikolayevich first decided to leave. And now, as if from another world, his voice sounded, as if asking for forgiveness from his wife: “ ...with love and gratitude I remember the long 35 years of our life, especially the first half of this time, when you, with your motherly self-denial, so energetically and firmly carried what you considered yourself called to. You gave me and the world what you could give, gave a lot maternal love and selflessness, and it is impossible not to appreciate you for this ... I thank you and remember with love and will remember for what you gave me.”

At that time, no one could have imagined that the granddaughter of the classic would be carried away by the peasant poet Sergei Yesenin, and the entire literary community would talk about this rebellious-aristocratic novel.