Developmental conversations. Inadequate behavior of oneself in the student's lesson report
In almost every class there is such a student who differs from others both in his school abilities, as well as behavior. So, no meeting is complete without discussing the next one. actual problem- student misbehavior The phenomenon is very common and requires the mandatory participation of all parties, parents, students and teachers, in order to develop optimal strategy, for example, a conversation with a student about bad behavior.
There are some reasons that provoke student misbehavior in the classroom or in the school as a whole. So, the main reasons rest on: the spoiled child, the social and psychological atmosphere (in which the child is brought up), adverse situations in the family, as well as certain motives. The latter, in turn, are due to the fact that the student: seeks to attract attention, show his power over other students, avoid possible failures. Each of these motives is perceived by others (parents, students and teachers) as an example of bad and inappropriate behavior.
In general, when a student behaves badly, a certain reaction is formed in the teacher, so he perceives this as a violation of discipline and reacts accordingly. At the same time, the teacher can raise his voice to the student, leaving the last word behind him, or refers to him with sarcasm, which is perceived by other students in the class as ironic. Often the behavior of the "culprit" is compared with other students, others are drawn into the conflict, for example, parents, the head teacher or even the director.
To attract his attention, the student begins to hit the table with a pencil, enters the class without a bell, can distract the teacher with a question that is not related to the topic of the lesson. In order to show his power over other students or even over the teacher, a student with bad behavior begins to offend others, challenges them, and often does not take into account the requirements of the teacher. Such actions evoke a corresponding reaction in others, which in most cases is characterized by aggression, misunderstanding, outbursts of anger, bickering, swearing, shouting, and others.
However, it is recognized that such a reaction is not considered appropriate, since by doing so the teacher or students are self-affirming bad behavior. Experts' opinions boil down to developing certain strategies aimed at understanding and compromise. So, the bad behavior of a student at school is controlled if you have frank conversations with him on topics that allow the student to open up, explain the reason for such behavior. Often you have to use radically opposite actions, ignoring the presence of the student in the class, as well as his actions.
Depending on the situation, the nature of the student, the purpose of his behavior, one or another strategy may be successful. In general, teacher actions such as shouting, swearing, belittling in front of other students, arguing, bullying, and others do not contribute to improving behavior. On the contrary, such a reaction of the teacher is, in a way, an incentive for the student to behave in the same way in the future.
One of pedagogical situations is breach of discipline students. teachers make demands on behavior students which the latter must fulfill. However, this often does not happen. And we have the fact of manifestation of a negative attitude student To teacher, which appears in the form conflict behavior.
How to competently resolve this?
3. Determine the strategy of action teacher, in order to gradually reduce the number of such misconduct of this student in the future.
What are the motives for conflict behavior? student?
Violating discipline, understands that his behavior is wrong. But most often, he is not able to realize the motives (reasons and goals) of his behavior in this situation. situations violations of discipline by students may be similar. But the motives students always individual.
teacher must understand the motives bad deeds and communicate effectively with students. Then the number of manifestations will gradually decrease. problem behavior. The right strategy is to create conditions in which students able to make the decision to change their behavior. Such a choice student can do if in the process of interaction teacher will understand the hidden motives of his misbehavior. task teacher is to help student feel like a full member of a large school team.
To develop an individual strategy for interacting with each problematic student, analysis of the situation is necessary teacher. Of course, this takes time and effort. But these costs will bring a positive result. Since a more comfortable situation of success and coordinated actions of the participants in the educational process is created.
Motives of problematic behavior of students.
I. Pupils often seek attention to themselves, which they lack in everyday life. To do this, they play real mini-performances, acting as artists. They actively provoke the teacher, classmates, or act passively, for example, deliberately slow to comply with the requirements. teacher.These students just need an audience. They just don't know how to communicate positively.
The task of the teacher- in the future to give such student more attention.
And at the moment conflict :
1. Do not respond to "antics" student.
2. Make eye contact with him. Your gaze will become student a signal that he is behaving incorrectly. And this needs to be stopped.
3. You can stand near him Without saying anything and without looking at him.
4. Inserting the name of this student into the context of the lesson, let him know that he is behaving incorrectly.
5. Without further ado, put a note on the desk in front of him, writing a polite request to stop misbehaving.
6. Use the "permissive behavior" technique. Its essence is that forbidden actions student are allowed, but only within predetermined limits: if you don’t want to sit, wait, if you want to talk bad words, speak, but only for a specified period of time, etc. But this technique is effective only in cases where student his behavior seeks attention.
7. Without using harsh shouts, calmly explain student why it shouldn't be done.
8. Use the surprise trick:
Humor (laughter will defuse the situation)
With the words: “Tell me when you are ready to continue,” stop the lesson for a while
9. Use the distraction technique:
Ask Distracting Questions by Asking for an Opinion students for some reason
Ask for help (collect notebooks, bring a magazine, chalk, etc.);
Change the type of activity students giving another task).
10.Change students places. For example, sitting on the back desk and losing the audience, student can calm down.
II. Often motivated by bad behavior student is the desire to win the role of leader and assert their power over someone in order to manipulate other people And. Such students demonstratively and systematically challenge the teacher. For example, they do it out of spite, utter swear words, defiantly do what is impossible or do not do what they are obliged to do. These actions are designed for publicity, with the whole class. Therefore, the position of the teacher becomes difficult.
Some students show passive resistance. They verbally agree with the teacher, but do the opposite and do not obey the requirements.
The task of the teacher lies in what is needed, without suppressing the positive qualities of the personality of such student aspiring to leadership, to teach him to build the right relationships with people.
If student exhibits vindictive and domineering behavior, the following support techniques can be used students :
1. Accept student. must accept it, despite all its shortcomings, stupid and wrong transgressions. This will enable student maintain self-respect and change behavior for the better.
2. Show sincere attention (greeting, signs of attention, ability to listen, compliment, common interests, hobbies).
3. Show respect. Everyone needs recognition. If teacher will show students that he respects them, that their affairs are very significant for the school or class, he will learn to build the right relationships with people. But the praise must be correct and concern the product of labor and behavior, and not the student. Then student is not recognized.
4. Express approval. If teacher speaks students how he likes them positive features character, attempts to do something, their hobbies and achievements, students take good care of themselves and teacher.
5.Give warm feelings. If teacher able to create a warm emotional atmosphere, students reciprocate him. And the question of discipline in the classroom will not stand.
III. Other students unconsciously or consciously guided by the desire for revenge . Some actively violate the requirements teacher, rude, offend others student in etc. By their actions they provoke teachers. Others are passive, do not openly violate the requirements teachers. But they are unfriendly, do not make contact, defiantly do not communicate with teacher and do not obey him, as if trying to offend teacher.
Task teachers further - direct negative energy such a student in a positive, creative direction, become his partner by establishing contact with him.
And at the time of the conflict:
A. It is necessary to find a diplomatic move that will enable all participants in the conflict to "save face" and avoid the development of the conflict.
B. It is better to recognize the position student. After all, the stronger teacher will put pressure on him, the stronger the offender will resist. If you say student u: “I realized that you will not complete this task,” he has nothing to object, because in these words there is no command, no instruction. The lesson will continue student will join the whole class.
3. It is necessary to remove the audience. After all, the confrontation will intensify with the audience. Postpone discussion of the conflict until another time, for example, before recess. Student will remain without spectators and lose interest in confrontation.
4. Try to postpone the discussion of the conflict issue for another time, saying: “I would not like to discuss this issue now”, “Maybe you are right. Let's talk about it later."
5. You can set a time to discuss the conflict issue by saying; “I agree with you to discuss this issue. Will the time after the 5th lesson be suitable for you?” And continue the lesson in a calm tone.
6. Try to puzzle student, saying: "Maybe you're right ... But now we'd better continue the lesson", "I'll think about it, and now back to the topic of the lesson ..."
7. Use the Temporary Isolation Technique student. But remember that you can not send children to the corridor or to * nowhere *.
You can delete (but this is an extreme case):
Within the classroom to a separate desk or chair)
To another class or room (by agreement with another teacher, psychologist, social teacher etc.) At the same time, put him before a choice: "You can choose what you like best - to sit in the classroom and work with us or go to the head teacher's office.
8. You can set for each specific behavioral disorder by saying: "If you do this ... then ... (specific consequence)".
At the same time, it is important that sanctions for a misdemeanor committed at school, were applied precisely at school, and not at home. Sanctions should be adequate to the misconduct and logically related to the violation (if you broke it, then fix it; if you littered it, then clean it; if you soiled it, then wash it; if you insulted it, then apologize). The adequacy of sanctions does not humiliate pride student but serves as a lesson.
Better to apply sanctions, but not punishment.
Sanctions And punishment outwardly similar. However, it is often unfair if it is inadequate to the offense. That's why punishment not constructive. They breed hatred and make cooperation and partnership impossible.
What can be applied sanctions:
deprive student some free time (at recess, after class)
Deprive the right to use sports equipment, equipment, etc.
Deny access to certain areas of the school
Obliged to pay damages
Required to meet with the school administration
Interview with parents.
IV. Other students so unsure of themselves that they try not to do anything at all so as not to have a negative result. Such students“get sick” on the day of tests and tests, leave the lesson, where they can get bad grades, under a far-fetched pretext.
Task teachers- to help such student believe in yourself, respect yourself. But teacher must create conditions for this (a situation of success).
Measures pedagogical impact with manifestations of problematic behavior of students who avoid activities due to uncertainty:
Change Explain Methods educational material. material for these students needs to be done must be made more attractive, understandable. It needs to be explained over and over again. For them, you need to prepare special tasks and special forms of work (for example, work in pairs)
Create a situation of success. At the same time, constantly cheer: "You can, you will succeed!"
Formation of attitude towards mistakes as a normal phenomenon;
Build faith in success. The teacher should be attentive to any improvement and disclose strengths student
Provide individual assistance student
To solve all the above problems, teacher must himself analyze his pros and cons in the data pedagogical situations.
The main thing to decide teacher: what prevents him from establishing partnerships with this student?
Teacher action plan.
There are five tasks to be solved:
1. Understand the motives for misbehavior
2. Choose methods to end the conflict
3.Create support tactics student
4.Joint problem solving with parents And teachers.
Wherein teacher solves 5 problems in sequence, takes 5 steps.
To solve these 5 tasks, teacher need to:
1. Be objective, without adding an emotional component, in assessing the offense student.
2. When such a pedagogical situation, in the process of discussing it with the student, colleagues, parents focus should not be on the individual chenik, but on this wrong act. At the same time, there is no need to generalize, exaggerate, remember the past and predict the future. You need to speak firmly, but in a friendly tone.
2. Strive to understand the motives of problem behavior student
3. Internally firmly believe that this student may change for the better. And to instill this faith in the student in order to increase his self-respect.
4.Keep in control negative emotions. So anger is a bad adviser. This is exactly what he wants to achieve. student acting out of spite teacher.
5. The tension of the situation should be sought to defuse, and not escalate by raising your voice, criticism, sarcasm, drawing other people into this conflict and other methods that are wrong from the point of view of psychology, which will only intensify the conflict. They do not contribute to the formation respectful relationshipteacher And student.
6. No need to start "disassembly" during the conflict or immediately after it. It is better, for example, to leave student after school, when emotions subside, and teacher can be objective.
7. Do not bring the conflict to highest point boiling. If it is possible in this situation, do not insist on the immediate and exact fulfillment of your requirements. Let student"save face" and fulfill your requirements, albeit with reservations, not immediately, etc.
8. Demonstrate students friendliness, willingness to cooperate. No need to be like a vengeful, aggressive student. Because otherwise, student will consider that this gives him the right to behave in such a way.
Connection parents and colleagues- teachers to fight for discipline.
Common goals and joint partnership strategy teachers And parents will allow you to get good results learning.
Need to build relationships with parents problematic students.
This can be done using the rules:
1. It is necessary to tell parents about the bad behavior of their child only specifically and objectively.
2.No need to collapse on parents and tell immediately about all the misconduct of the student. It's better to call 2-3. Otherwise, the parents will give up, or they will beat their child out of impotence and anger.
3. No need to try to intimidate parents. You just need to analyze this pedagogical situation(got a deuce, quarreled with a classmate, did not fulfill homework, violated discipline.) No need to speak parents about what can happen for these violations.
4. But positive predictions are constructive. Need to focus on the positives student, to note his slightest success in something, to express confidence in future success, if parents will help your child.
It must be remembered that parents ordinary people. teacher should not be offended by them if they do not understand something or do not know how. Often teachers demand from parents what is a problem teachers, but not parents(for example, a child’s negative attitude towards a certain subject, rude communication with specific teachers, or students).
Studying the personality of the student and compiling it
psychological and pedagogical characteristics
Individual conversation with the student and a description of its results;
The program of characteristics of the individual characteristics of the student
1. Individual conversation with the student and a description of its results
The topic of the conversation is chosen independently, taking into account the characteristics of the child. For example: "Your interests", "Friends", "When you become an adult", "Vacation plans", etc.
Minutes of a conversation with a student
Interviewed on:................................................ Date:.. ..........
Object of study. Surname, name, patronymic, age, class.
Target.
Method of registering results.
Description of the environment(venue, time)
Conversation plan. Main questions. supportive questions.
Conversation Analysis. Successful/failed conversation. Features of the interlocutor's behavior (intonation, gestures, facial expressions). Which questions did the interviewer respond more actively to?
Conclusion. Data analysis.
Additional Information
Basic requirements for conducting a conversation
Favorable environment: walk, isolated room. Create and maintain an atmosphere of trust. Contact is facilitated by one's own "disclosure", a confidential story.
During a conversation watch out:
behind the peculiarities of the interlocutor's speech behavior, the accuracy of the wording, reservations, omissions, the desire to avoid answering, pauses;
behind the triggering of the so-called psychological defense mechanism: dignity, self-respect are affected.
Adviсe:
Understand what the interlocutor is interested in.
If you see his passivity, it means: you started with an unsuccessful question, he has no mood, took the wrong tone, etc.
Correct the mistake quickly, always be actively-attentive.
Control yourself: do not show signs of authority, do not make reproaches, remarks, etc.
|
How to have a conversation |
|
|
How best to ask questions |
Do not put the question "on the forehead" (preferably in an indirect form). Questions should not be suggestive and be in the form of a statement. Ask questions in a definitive form, short, understandable to the interlocutor. |
|
Listen carefully and confidentially |
Show this to the interlocutor with a look, facial expressions, gestures, leaning towards the interlocutor. Sympathize, approve and support. |
|
Allow the interlocutor to speak |
Don't rush it! Help to get rid of possible fears. Appreciate the accuracy of the thoughts expressed. Counter-questions may only be asked to help speak out. |
|
Do not interrupt the interlocutor's speech |
In cases of excitement, impulsiveness, insignificance of statements, lack of useful information etc. The interlocutor always talks about things that are significant to him. When a conversation is interrupted, contact is lost and important information may be lost. |
direct questions: Do you like your group?
indirect questions in which the true goals are disguised: Do you always want to be in a group? Do your friends like your group? When answering such impersonal questions the interlocutor expresses his point of view.
projective question. In him in question about some imaginary person: - What do you think the child would do if he was undeservedly punished? The question may describe a situation with a fictitious person.
How to reduce the degree of inspiring questions?
Conversation Analysis. Pay attention to whether the conversation turned out, if not, why; to encouragement techniques, nods, voice changes, drawings; on the behavior of the interlocutor: facial expressions, gestures, intonation of speech, reservations; what questions did the interlocutor answer most actively; what questions reached the goal and what tasks were solved as a result of the conversation. Changing the states of the interlocutor is the main indicator of the effectiveness of the conversation. There is no point in fearing a negative assessment of the effect of the conversation. To assess the effectiveness of the conversation, it is important to analyze the content of the answers and questions during the conversation. No less important is the analysis of non-verbal interactions with the interlocutor during the interview: the meaning of the speech statement can be expressed non-verbally, in the analysis of body language, the most informative is the change in the inclination of the body, when and why the interlocutor stops looking into the eyes, the volume of what is said, the change in topic. In a successful conversation, coordinated or symmetrical movements occur between the participants.
2. The program of characteristics of the individual characteristics of the student
Methods of study and data collection: a conversation with a student, a conversation with a teacher, observing the student's answers and behavior, studying the student's personal file, analyzing the products of activity.
I. General information about the student . Student data. Surname, name, age, class, state of health, physical development.
Family data. The composition of the family, the profession of the parents, their cultural level, the material security of the parents.
Data on the living conditions of the student in the family. Attitude to the child, the nature of the relationship between family members. Sides of family education, which explain the characteristics of the personality of the student.
II. Peculiarities learning activities schoolboy.
Progress. The student's views on the importance of learning activities. What subjects are of interest to the student, to which - indifferent or even negative attitude. Student attitude towards success and failure various subjects. Activity and discipline in the classroom. Systematism, conscientiousness, organization in educational work. The presence of skills and abilities of independent work (find additional literature, work with a textbook).
Attitude to the lessons of fine arts. The main reasons contributing to success in educational activities or preventing him from learning.
III. Characteristics of the orientation of the student's personality.
General outlook and erudition. Features of the development of cognitive interests. The degree of development of interests in the field of art, technology, sports, etc. The ability to realize one's interests. Depth and sustainability of interests. Favorite pastime at school and outside of school. Hobbies. What clubs does he attend. Self-assessment of the student's personality. Attitude towards your successes and failures.
IV. Characteristics of some cognitive processes of a schoolchild.
memory features. Memorization features: volume, speed, meaningfulness, strength, appearance, techniques. Ready for playback. Features of thinking. Wits, ability to analyze, generalize, independence of judgments and conclusions, speed and depth of understanding of new material. Characteristics of visual - figurative and abstract thinking of a student.
Features of speech ( lexicon, culture, literacy, emotionality, imagery of oral and written speech). Features of attention (volume stability, concentration). dominant type of attention. What caused it.
V. Individually - psychological characteristics of the student's personality.
Features of temperament, manifested in the behavior of the student (working capacity, fatigue rate, depth and nature of emotional states, speech rate, endurance and affectivity, motor reactions). Character. Its features, manifested in the relationship to the world around and to oneself. Their dependence on the conditions of education.
Conversation as a form of educational work in the national school is very common. But from the point of view of methodology, it is not sufficiently understood. Each teacher spent more than one hundred conversations with his pupils. But which of the teachers will say exhaustively enough: how these conversations should be conducted, what rules should be observed, what words should be pronounced? Finally, which of the conversations can be considered successful, productive? It is very difficult to answer these questions fully. But teachers come into contact with children constantly, often - without preparation, often - in a state of excitement, resentment, irritation. What teacher has not experienced a feeling of regret, even guilt, after a verbal confrontation with a student precisely because he chose the wrong tone of conversation, words, place or time? And as a result, for a long time, if not forever, he spoiled the relationship with the pupil ...
Educational conversation with the student the highest degree not a simple procedure. After all, one must take into account the infinite variety of children, their life experience, no matter how small it may be, take into account internal problems and protections invisible to the prying eye, traditions and attitudes inherited from parents, forms of behavioral reactions due to the type nervous system and motility.
Eat general rules, which teachers should keep in mind, and private rules - algorithms that it is advisable to take into account the class teacher who is talking with the child.
“General rules” are quite definite principles of the technique of interaction between a teacher and a pupil, forming a psychological, moral background against which any conversation takes place. The core of this background is the personality of the teacher, his authority in the eyes of the pupil, the pedagogical position.
The principles of people's behavior in interpersonal contacts, formulated by D. Carnegie, are the ABC of the behavior of a sane cultured person. These are vital ethical standards that a socially developed citizen should own modern society. And where is this to be taught, if not in school?
Principles of interaction between the teacher and the pupil:
A person should be genuinely interested in other people.
Understand what your interlocutor wants.
Show respect for the opinion of your interlocutor.
Sincerely try to look at things from the point of view of your interlocutor.
Be sympathetic to the thoughts and desires of children.
Let your interlocutor do most of the talking.
Ask the interlocutor questions, thereby ensuring that the pupil himself evaluates his own act or behavior.
Let your interlocutor believe that this idea belongs to him.
Express your children's approval more often about their smallest success and celebrate each of their successes. Be sincere in your assessment
Create for children good reputation which they will try to justify.
Let the people save their prestige.
Appeal to nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas, touch a nerve, present them effectively.
From the very beginning of the conversation, keep a friendly tone.
The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and decisively.
Start the conversation with praise and sincere recognition of the dignity of the interlocutor.
If you want people to like you, smile. A smile costs nothing, but gives a lot. It lasts a moment, but sometimes it remains in memory forever.
A person's name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language.
Some tips for conducting a personal interview
Let us remember: at different age stages, the problems of children are different, and therefore the conversation should be conducted in a differentiated way. The school has three main age groups: junior schoolchildren, teenagers, boys and girls. The peculiarity of their behavior is associated with leading basic psychosocial needs, with dominants that determine motivation, the structure of internal problems and, consequently, ways to eliminate them (forms of self-help).
It is impossible to understand the behavior of a child, much less to change it, if we do not know the nature of his needs and do not satisfy them. The need is like thirst, like hunger: until it is satisfied, the child will not behave correctly, socially acceptable.
The structure of human needs is as follows:
younger age - the need for security, safety;
teenage - the need for recognition, respect, a certain social status among peers;
adolescence - the need for the meanings of life (i.e. life goals, values, ideals for which it is worth living);
adult - the need for self-realization, self-fulfillment.
In addition, a person at all times feels the need for health, joy (pleasure), happiness. The natural basic need is the need for knowledge, activity. Numerous other needs are secondary and follow from the basic ones.
Knowledge of the leading needs gives the teacher a methodological key to building individual interaction with the pupil, including the methodology of individual conversation.
Conversation with a junior student
The younger student lives in a relationship of predominantly emotional, until the end of unconscious experiences. If the relationship is rich, varied, filled positive emotions, then the child develops fully: he is cheerful, active, open, kind, gentle. If the relationship is defective and he feels the alienation of others: he is scolded, dissatisfied with him, he is not caressed, and the child, like a flower without moisture and solar heat, dries, fades, shrinks. It grows resentment, pain, which sooner or later turn into malice, aggression, at first glance - unmotivated.
It is useless to give numerous advice - the baby will not remember them. One thing is necessary: to slowly, patiently change the child's attitude towards himself - to raise his self-esteem, instill a sense of strength, increase self-confidence and at the same time - teach the necessary, constructive way of behavior. The instrument of "influence" in this case is suggestion. Exercises (training) with further ongoing support. An approximate algorithm of actions is as follows:
Identify the problems of the child, his hidden mental defenses. Irresponsibility, imbalance of the nervous system. It will be necessary to study the conditions of upbringing in the family, stereotypes of behavior, and the state of health as carefully as possible.
Identify an obstacle (most often it is associated with low self-esteem) and begin to correct your self-attitude, inspire the necessary behavior model.
Organize a change in the attitude of others. The schoolboy had comrades, the guys took him to their team.
Support constructive behavior: praise at the right time, fix peers' attention on success, no matter how small. Involve parents, comrades in the house, porch, yard (with the help of a social pedagogue) in the process of correction.
Give individual assignments that are feasible for the child and that meet his abilities, interests, inclinations (this good workout constructive behaviour). “Organize success” in a difficult task for a child. Especially in education. Academic success in primary school- this is 99% success in education!
For "insurance" involve in a circle, section, club, where success and skill are fixed.
Conversation with a teenager
In adolescence, the stage of family development has been passed, the field of social self-affirmation is expanding, family values, forms of self-affirmation are being reassessed. New ways of behavior have to be mastered "on the go", in victories and defeats. A teenager is an experimenter involuntarily. Bruises and bumps (including mental ones) are permanent, and although they are not visible, they are very painful. Teenagers often feel worthless, helpless, and alone.
Peers become the reference group, the standard of self-identification - a merciless and cruel world, different from the family, with its love and support from parents. Here recognition must be won by yourself. We need will, knowledge, physical strength, but they are not enough. Watch teenagers at play, how fiercely they argue, scream, blame each other. They compete all the time, trying each other "for strength". Development is difficult, painful. In a teenager, subjectivity is born, a “I-concept”, self-consciousness is formed. This means that there are own assessments, norms, criteria, standards and samples.
Development passes into the stage of self-development, education - into the process of self-education. And this is normal, these changes need to be supported and stimulated. At this age, it is especially unacceptable to humiliate, insult, undermine the self-esteem of a teenager: self-esteem matures in him, which can be called conscience, honor, spirituality, which is the core of the personality, its morality, social value. This is the general pattern of development of a teenager, which indicates the tactics of the behavior of the educator.
The beginning of a conversation with a teenager should immediately remove the semantic barrier, establish trust. In no case should there be threats, accusations. Your facial expression, tone, first phrases should dispel fear, tension. Let the student understand that your attitude towards him has not changed for the worse. The first words can be: “I understand you, you defended your dignity in front of your friends”, “You did the right thing, that you didn’t get scared, didn’t keep silent, began to act ...”, “I had a similar case ...”
The words may be different, but behind them should always be your faith in the good intentions of the student: "I know you wanted justice ..."
Try to have the teenager tell you about the event. In the course of the story, ask clarifying questions so that the student names his true actions: “hit”, “took without asking (stole)”, “answered rudely, disrespectfully”, “the lesson was disrupted”, etc. To achieve such a story - to convey what happened in honest and direct words - this means that the student has assessed himself, punished himself, admitted his guilt. This is self-education. Ask: how does the student evaluate his own behavior? You go further - seek an honest, objective assessment - essential meaning and purpose of the conversation.
Then retell the events. Speak calmly, dispassionately, calling a spade a spade: “started a fight”, “teared off the lesson”, “insulted the teacher”, etc. Then give your assessment of what happened. Up to the enumeration of the articles of the Criminal Code, under which the misconduct of the student falls, if he were an adult.
Compare two marks, the student's and yours, which will help to finally find out the essence of the matter. In this part of the conversation, the student must admit his guilt. If he is not to blame and the teacher is wrong, admit your guilt, otherwise the conversation does not make sense, or even negatively affect upbringing, your relationship with the child. Maybe the most milestone conversations - search together with the student for socially acceptable behaviors. At this stage, there is a training in introspection, the search for optimal behavior. And although this is a joint action, it is important that the teenager makes the decision himself. And the teacher will have to praise him for his wisdom and sanity, to give a behavioral attitude for the future.
As a result of the conversation - emphasize the mind, adulthood, teenager, express confidence that next time he will not make a mistake, because he will continue to think before doing anything.
Say the key phrase: “I believe that in the future you will not allow this and that such a conversation will no longer be needed. Let's forget about him." All. Your relationship is not destroyed, you gave the pupil the opportunity to maintain his image, high self-esteem, self-esteem. And this is the path to creative, constructive behavior, lifestyle.
Conversation with a young student
The leading need of adolescence is in the meaning of life. The young man is looking for the highest values of being: goals, ideals, standards of existence. How to live? For what? What to be? These are the questions to which, consciously or unconsciously, a young person is looking for answers. Before his own "I" and before people, he must make his choice.
It’s good to have conversations “about life” with young men on a hike, around a campfire, about a smart movie or book. They may seem abstract and unnecessary to adults, but young people need them like air.
What are the rules for building a conversation with an adult student?
the main objective- lead the interlocutor to a sincere review of the goals and values for which the action was committed. Evidence of sincerity: experience, remorse, words of apology. As always, start the conversation with a recognition of dignity, an expression of trust: “I know that you were looking for justice, the truth ...”, “I believe that you tried to act honestly ...”, “I thank you that you frankly expressed what What do you think...”, “Perhaps I would have acted the same way if I were you...”
It is very important to hear from the student the words: “Yes”, “Yes, it’s true”, “Yes, I wanted the best”. These are already points of contact that help to remove a defensive reaction.
Use such a technique as an appeal to the opinions of others.
Involve people who are significant to the young man - parents, friends, lawyers - to the conversation.
In a conversation with an adult student, try to build a dialogue in a logical, reasoned way, call things by their proper names: meanness - meanness, theft - theft. Try to get the young man to directly and unequivocally evaluate his act. Honest confession and repentance is a step towards correction. If a young person deviates from honest self-assessment, then the teacher himself must directly and unequivocally give moral and public reference deed. This does not mean that punishment must follow after that. On the contrary, after such a tense and difficult conversation, an appeal to the mind of the pupil is necessary: “Think at your leisure ...”
Sometimes one emotional argument is enough. It depends on the length of the conversation and the number of words.
It is very important how you end the conversation. The most important thing is to give the young man the opportunity to "save face", the image among friends, parents and in his own eyes. It is impossible for a student to feel “beaten”. Enlightenment, purification, the triumph of overcoming oneself - this is the state that your interlocutor should feel. Following the precepts of D. Carnegie, the teacher should do everything in his power to ensure that the young pupil is happy to do what you offer him, what you agreed to do together.
Achieving the expressiveness of pedagogical technique is only one of the steps to pedagogical mastery. Technique without understanding the tasks of pedagogical action, without understanding the motives of the students' activities, the true essence of the results of interaction will remain an empty form, an empty unprofessional action. And mastering its techniques can be carried out in the context of improving the general pedagogical culture of the teacher.
Literature
Ershova A.P. Verbal influences in the teacher's work: teachers about the mastery of communication with the class / A. Ershova, V. Bukatov. – M.: Chistye Prudy, 2007. - 32 p. - (Library "First of September", series "Classroom management and education of schoolchildren". Issue 1).
Zyazyun I.A., Kramuschenko L.V., Krivonos I.F., Mirpshnik E.P., Semichenkp V.A., Tarasevich N.N. Pedagogical technique of the teacher // School technologies. - 2005. - No. 6. - S. 154–164
Kalinichenko I.A. Individual style of the teacher's activity // Handbook of the class teacher. - 2007. - No. 8. - P. 68–76
Sazonov V. Individual conversation with the student: advice to the educator // Educational work At school. - 2005. - No. 6. - P. 93-102
