How to love yourself - advice from a psychologist. How to love yourself: effective tips that will help everyone

Our self-esteem is influenced by many factors that surround us in everyday life. Quite often, life tests our already shaky belief in our own worth. Therefore, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman is an extremely relevant, important, deep and reverent topic for everyone who is dissatisfied with themselves.

Self-attitude is formed in childhood and adolescence, when we begin to get to know the world and place in it more deeply. Love and confidence comes from self-esteem, and for many women it is, unfortunately, underestimated. It certainly affects the quality of life. To be truly happy, you need to seriously approach the question of how to love yourself. Be responsible for own life– start correcting the situation immediately.

What is unconditional love?

The term "unconditional love" means "love without conditions." It is the acceptance of a person, independent of any time frame, material goods or states in which we are.

Love doesn't need a reason. They love not for appearance, not for a hairstyle, not for a figure. They just love it.

So where to start? First of all, understand what love is. Understand who you are. At the beginning of your journey, you need to realize: love is a feeling when we accept ourselves. Completely and unconditionally. With all the advantages and disadvantages. This is a mundane and modest sense of yourself and your life, which has nothing to do with conditional love which breeds narcissism, selfishness and pride. Love is not pathos, not a desire to prove to others that you are better. It is not even a state of constant happiness and satisfaction with life. Harmony with yourself and inner world, self-respect in all situations. It is simplicity and modesty. Self-sufficiency. Self-confidence. The ability to truly rejoice and feel the value of one's own Personality. This is the feeling of lightness with which we go through life. This is the way. Movement towards yourself. Continuous process. When you do not need comparisons, because you clearly distinguish: you are you, and others are others.

To make it easier to understand how to love yourself and be happy, it is important to follow the recommendations of psychologists.

Step-by-step instruction

1. forgive yourself. For bad deeds, for what did not work out. Let go of all grudges against others and situations in which you were wrong. Get rid of negative thoughts - they pull you down. Be kind to yourself. You've made mistakes in life and that's okay. Realize this and do not blame yourself for the failures that have accumulated like a snowball in the secret corners of the soul. Everyone has the right to make mistakes.
2. Accept yourself for who you are. Understand that you are an individual, a person. There is no such thing and never will be. This is a fact that you need to realize and accept, as well as your exclusivity, value in this world. Yes, it's not easy. However, only in this case you will sincerely understand how you can truly love yourself.
3. Realize that you are a self-sufficient person. Self-love should not depend on other people. Someone thinks that it can be obtained, for example, from a man, but this is not so. Love is within us. You just need to get to its deepest strings.
4. Learn to see and respect your Individuality. Even with all the weaknesses! Everyone has black and white, but this does not mean that you need to love only the good. Take the other side too! Love begins with respect for oneself. Appreciate your work, experience, thoughts and actions.
5. Strive to become best version myself. Recognize the negative qualities and weak sides that prevent you from getting better. Correct them. Movement in this direction will bear fruit. Praised odes are powerless if you do not look deep into the soul. Psychological affirmations along with narcissism will only give a temporary effect. If your goal is to get to the very bottom and know yourself with all your heart, start with the inner content.
6. You need to love yourself in any state and mood. This should not affect how you treat yourself. This value is constant and should not be changed under any circumstances. Loving yourself for appearances alone is self-deception. Look for the Human in you.
7. Do not judge or criticize yourself. From the point of view of psychology, criticism brings only negativity and self-destruction. It is absorbed by the mind, takes possession of thoughts and sets you up for failure in the future at a subconscious level. Find words of encouragement and be kind and patient with yourself.
8. Don't complain, don't whine. Is there something you don't like and don't want to put up with? So take it and change it! Look at the situation soberly, rationally, think sensibly. Respect your mind. Only you have the right to take responsibility for your own actions and results. Nobody likes whiners. I want to love strong personalities, open, sincere, with kindness in the heart, who bring joy and positive to the world, sharing their happiness with others. This is possible provided that Love reigns in the soul.
9. Stop paying attention to others and depend on someone else's opinion. Do not let him put pressure on you, pass through the prism of personal views. Sort opinions and draw personal conclusions. You must have your own clear position on certain things. Therefore, use good and useful sources of information, analyze and nourish the mind with the necessary knowledge. Don't tolerate what you don't like. This will not let you unsettle, but will allow you to love yourself and be confident in your own worth.
10. Set goals, achieve, develop as a Personality. This will help boost your self-esteem. By achieving your goals and getting what you want, you will increasingly strengthen your self-confidence. With a strong desire, a person can do anything! Goals will help you believe in your abilities, point out right direction that in the end will lead you to victory!
11. Don't compare yourself to others. Don't try to be like everyone else. Such a strategy is doomed to failure and disappointment. best example- it's you. There are no better or worse people, we are all equal. There are those who believe in themselves and those who do not. So be the one who accepts himself for who he is! No need for masks, games, riddles - they are appropriate only on stage.
12. Do not judge or criticize others. Do not allow yourself to think and speak negatively towards others. This empties the soul, takes away energy, accumulates anger and irritation inside and blocks the path to Love. Is this the life you wanted to live? With hatred in your heart towards yourself and others? We often interpret situations through the lens of our views and moods. Don't be a grumpy grandmother. Tune in to the positive. Your task is to bring goodness and light into the world. What you give is what you get.
13. love people. Is it true. With all my heart. Yes, it's definitely difficult. However, try to see the good in them and focus on the positive qualities. There is one Golden Rule: Accept others as they are without trying to change. When you love someone and are insanely happy, you are ready to hug the whole world and all the people around! So let this state begin with your love for yourself!
14. Spend time in a successful society. Strive for positive social circles. Connect with kind people smart people that pull you up, not down. With those with whom you feel happy, cheerful, sunny, loved, who radiate positive energy, but does not take. Avoid grouchy, always dissatisfied, gossipers, all those who cause negative emotions and makes you suffer.
15. Learn to say "no". Going against your desires means losing yourself over time, gaining insecurity and a decrease in vitality. Don't act to the detriment own desires. It's your life and you have the right to do what you want! Have a personal opinion and desires. Let others reckon with them. Be honest - first of all with yourself. If you don't like something, you don't have to tolerate it. To be true to yourself means to understand your “I” completely. The ability to refuse will help you respect personal boundaries and truly love yourself.
16. love your body. Realize: wise Nature does not err. Appearance you received as a reward, so why not accept it? Answering the question of how to love yourself and your body, we can say with confidence: this is possible only through self-care. Go in for sports. Go for a massage. Eat healthy food. Take a break from the Internet and TV. Spend more time in nature, feel an integral part of it. She gave you something special - life. Strengthen your strength of mind and health. Going in for sports and following a healthy diet is already a considerable reason to be proud of yourself!
17. Don't be sloppy on the outside. Our appearance says more about us before we even open our mouths. The untidiness and inaccuracy in appearance and clothes - a sign of lack of self-respect. It is enough to look clean and decent.
18. Develop your femininity. Girls are emotional and sensitive, often exaggerate, focus on the little things and shortcomings in appearance. First you need to understand a very simple thing: ideals do not exist in nature. But there is such a thing as self-improvement. Strive to develop femininity and positive aspects in yourself. When confidence in your own irresistibility (without pride, selfishness and pathos) gets stronger, others will be drawn to your inner strength and energy. Fill yourself, develop your feminine qualities. A woman who loves herself is betrayed by an inner feeling of happiness - she “shines”. They say about such people “with a twinkle in their eyes”.

Psychological techniques in practice

And now practical advice and troubleshooting. Your task is to work on your weaknesses, changing them to strengths overcoming obstacles. The goal is to improve your Personality.

Making a list

Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. First, write your positive traits. In the second - what you do not like about yourself and what you would like to change. Then, in turn, cross out each negative quality in the list. Tear off this part of the sheet and tear into small pieces. (By the way, psychologists say that even after such a procedure, the soul feels better.) Memorize the remaining text and repeat it regularly. For example, every morning or evening. Then make it a point to add a new word to the list every three days. These simple psychological tricks affect not only the conscious but also the subconscious.

We are looking for a reason to be proud of ourselves!

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. And every day, take small steps to improve your own version. For example, you decide to pull yourself together and go to the gym. Do you know this sweet feeling when, having overcome a bunch of obstacles - laziness, excuses, and so on, you went to training? Or, despite the fatigue and lack of time, did the necessary work on time? At times like these, we are proud of ourselves! It is these feelings that you need to focus on in the process of increasing self-esteem! Focus on good times that have already been achieved. If you set goals for yourself and achieve them, the feeling of satisfaction will never leave. Learning to appreciate your own efforts, work, yourself, in the end, will be much easier.

Self improvement

This is something that needs to be carefully worked on - replacing the negative with the positive. Try to imagine in detail your image that you would like to see in front of you. Each of us has weaknesses that it would not hurt to get rid of. For example, you are not punctual. It is annoying, angry, but you do nothing to change it and no longer feel dissatisfied with yourself. This means that the new you must learn to control your time and develop a high level of self-organization. And so - with all the qualities that do not suit.

Psychologists advise writing down your own path to Love on paper. Buy a beautiful diary or notebook, to which you will devote part of your time, which will become a friend, helper and reflection of your own “I”. Write down the changes that have happened to you. Start small and see how nice it is to get better!

It is impossible to take and love yourself at one fine moment, when you want it. We repeat, this is a constant process, the path to knowing your “I”, a large and hard labour to which one should aspire. Only feeling unconditional love to yourself will make you happier and spiritually richer! Being confident is a luxury you can afford! This is the real key to happiness and success!

How to love yourself - advice from a psychologist. 3 easy steps. Why is it important to love yourself? How to cultivate self-love - where to start? Is self-love selfish or not? How to distinguish inner fullness from selfishness? How to learn to love yourself? The article contains answers to these questions.

The simplest explanation for why it is important to love yourself lies on the surface. If a person is not filled internally, if he is empty, then he cannot share his warmth, care, emotions with others. Then everything moves along the chain: you don’t give anything, respectively, you don’t receive anything from others.

It is often said: “What you radiate is what you receive!”

This is especially important for us girls. After all, a girl, a woman in modern world many roles: beloved, mother, daughter, wife, talented designer or economist - at work, talented cook, interior designer, organizer of leisure and travel, educator - at home and many other roles.

Each role requires a lot of strength and inspiration. It is important to be able to take care of yourself, love yourself, so that later from your state inner harmony and fullness - to give your warmth and energy to your loved one, children, parents, everyone who surrounds you. Here is the answer to the question of how to make a loved one love ... first fill yourself, then give warmth and love to him, and only then receive love and attention from him ...

So, it is important to love yourself in order to love others.

Is self-love selfish or not?

Indeed, in reality it is difficult to distinguish selfish love for oneself from the desire for inner harmony, from the desire to be in harmony with oneself. Where is the line between selfishness and "correct" self-love? The answer is very simple.

Self-love has two extremes: when you only take (demand) without giving anything in return - this is selfishness. When you only give, it is a lack of self-love (often due to low self-esteem).

1. When you constantly only give, it is difficult for you to receive.. In this case, you have a low rate of self-love, a very low self-esteem. Eg:

• You have a hard time accepting compliments. They say to you: “What are you doing today pretty haircut!”, and you blurt out without hesitation: “No, I just washed my hair today!” or “What a beautiful new dress you have!”, and you: “No, it’s old, I just didn’t wear it to work!”. Do you recognize yourself?
• You are terribly embarrassed to accept expensive gifts or invitations to an expensive restaurant.
• You forcefully do something difficult for the other person, hoping that he will notice it and thank you. But without this sacrifice, you yourself do not dare to ask for a favor. For example, you work hard at work to be noticed and promoted, but you yourself will never dare to ask for a promotion.

2. When is theyou take more than you give (and often demand, manipulate), it speaks of selfishness (this is the other extreme of self-love).

So, selfishness and lack of self-love- these are two poles, two negative extremes of attitude towards oneself. And the truth, as always, lies in the middle. The secret to a normal and healthy relationship with yourself is in a sense of balance. It is important to respect your own interests, and the interests and feelings of your soul mate (and all those around you).

How to learn to love yourself and be loved?

What does it mean to love yourself and how to do it? What is self love? How to learn to love yourself? It's actually very easy to do this. The main thing is to give yourself the word to change and, of course, work hard for this.

Here are a few steps to follow.

Step 1. You need to become more confident in yourself.

Many women dissolve in their husbands, children, their interests become the purpose of their lives. You need to find yourself, increase your self-esteem. Here are articles to help you with this task:

You will be surprised how much there is interesting and unknown in the world, you will find your hobby, discover your talents, virtues and positive features, start traveling, learning languages, drawing, dancing.

Step #2. You need to learn how to maintain yourself in difficult situations.

For example, the French women serve "their own secret garden" for this purpose. To learn to constantly support yourself, especially in difficult moments It takes exercise and practice. Highly recommended to all my readers 2-week online workshop "I love myself!" Pavel Kochkin.

Pavel Kochkin has not just trainings, but workshops (practical trainings). They are amazingly interesting, because in addition to the fact that Paul - successful man, business owner, trainer, psychologist with diplomas from Harvard Business School, Psychology Faculty of Moscow State University, Executive MBA GUU, he is a real family man, a loving husband and father. This permeates all practices.

I went through this training on how to love yourself, and was delighted with it. I did not expect how much I am a prisoner of stereotypes and how far I am from ... self-love! At the training, among other things, you will learn practices with which you can support yourself in difficult situations.

Have you noticed how you feel a sense of shame for sitting on the couch for an hour with an interesting book. You are ashamed that you devote time to yourself, and do not stand at the stove. It takes practice to change it.. Here is a link to all other practical trainings by Pavel Kochkin, among them the training “Married to a millionaire. 1st step?!

Step #3 You need to become more active and energetic and then the mood will improve much.

For this you need go to bed early and wake up early, be sure to do physical exercise- only physical activity removes adrenaline from the human body. Adrenaline we get under the influence constant stress at work and at home. If you can’t do exercises in the morning and go to the gym, then you need to start walking (completely abandon the elevator and go 2-3 stops before work and walk). In total, you need to walk at least 3-5 km a day. Cheerful well-being is a guarantee Have a good mood, stable self-esteem. It is difficult to have self-confidence if there is not enough energy for ordinary things.

Summary

I hope the article “How to love yourself - advice from a psychologist. 3 Easy Steps will help you understand that self-love is not selfishness. And even vice versa. Loving yourself means fulfilling yourself. And having filled yourself, start giving more to others! Learn from French women to take time for yourself, learn to enjoy self-care, start journaling, find your purpose, discover your hidden talents, find your hobby, start learning languages. Life is so beautiful, it is just beginning and no matter how old you are 20 or 60!

Look right here on the blog video from Pavel Kochkin, What are the reasons that someone is a genius, and someone is mediocre, and how to find your destiny?

I wish you all happiness and love!

Dreams of a happy and fulfilling life can remain unfulfilled for years. Most people who suffer from self-loathing cannot communicate normally with others and spend the lion's share of their time on self-digging, continuing to find faults in themselves. Self-acceptance magically transforms life, opening up endless possibilities. People understand that getting to know each other is simple and pleasant, and it is much easier to live without thinking about your imperfection. Having changed radically, many will even be surprised why they used to be puzzled by the question “how to love yourself?” There are simple tips, thanks to which anyone can accept themselves.

Find the root cause

It may seem difficult task However, self-dislike does not come from nowhere. As experience shows, most often the root of such hostility comes from childhood.

Many of those who have trouble accepting themselves have been bullied at school. Caustic ridicule from peers, boycotts, the feeling of being superfluous in the classroom ... All this hits hard on the self-esteem of children and adolescents. They don't understand why their peers reject them. Why others become popular are considered the favorites of students and teachers. If a person is familiar with these feelings, he still remembers school with a shudder, then most likely the reason for dislike for himself lies precisely in this.

Sometimes parents add fuel to the fire. Wishing the child only good, they try to motivate him to new achievements. But phrases like “But Olya again received a diploma for winning the Olympiad, and you?” or “Dima studies better than you in all subjects” most often do not encourage the child to do something, but destroy his self-esteem. Parents should not behave in such a way that the child tries to earn their love. A child should a priori be loved, feel the support of the closest people, no matter what he does, regardless of his successes and failures. Unfortunately, not all parents understand this, later sincerely wondering why their son or daughter suffers because of self-rejection.

Failed relationships, especially the first ones, are another reason for self-dislike. Almost everyone probably had unrequited feelings, only for some they became an experience, and for some - painful memories and a reason for worrying about their own shortcomings. People from whom loved ones leave are often sure that the reason lies precisely in them. They weren't attentive enough, they weren't beautiful enough, they weren't interesting enough for him... Few people make allowances for other factors. If even after many years a person cannot forget a long-standing romance, reproaches himself and believes that he is unworthy of being loved, then obviously you need to change your attitude towards yourself.

Forgive your offenders

“What else, forgive those who ruined my life,” many will say, and they will be ... wrong. No one forces a person to look for the numbers of former classmates who humiliated him, call them to a meeting, try to make friends. Such radicalism is superfluous. It's about about getting the negativity out of your head. To do this, you will probably have to remember a lot of what happened in past years. High school students who hid their briefcase or threw a brand new pencil case out the window. A nasty neighbor girl who called names at meetings. First love, in response to the confession, laughed contemptuously in the face. Relatives comparing with more successful peers during family conversations. All this people keep in their heads, perhaps often remembering and even coming up with plans for revenge, obviously late for ... eleven years.

Everything that happened was a kind of experience, even if not the best. Yes, such an attitude on the part of others influenced at one time, but this is absolutely no reason to accumulate grievances, cherish them for many years and be angry at those who allegedly destroyed their whole lives. School bullies are a thing of the past. They grew up a long time ago, many started their own families and probably forgot about those who were laughed at.

It pays to forgive offenders. Children are cruel and try to assert themselves at the expense of others, relatives are unlikely to have wished harm, and the first lover had the right not to experience any feelings in return. You can try to forgive the offenders, do not curse them and just forget. It would be more rational to spend time on those who are dear and close. And, first of all, for yourself.

Accept your body and take care of it

No, this does not mean that it is worth standing in front of a mirror for days and repeating “I am the most wonderful person in this world, I am perfect, there is no one better than me, I love myself so much. Such actions do not give an effect, most often they either simply begin to make you laugh and annoy, or they can lead to pseudo-inflated self-esteem. This is clearly not the main goal, right?

Accepting your body means treating it with care, not cursing yourself for wrinkles and stretch marks, not torturing it with “apple for breakfast, lunch and dinner” diets. The body is one for life, a person is inseparable from it. If you still can’t fall in love, you can try to accept at least the fact that this is primarily a functional shell. Providing care for the body, a person does everything so that it “serves” longer and more efficiently.

None of us chooses the type of figure at birth, but everyone is able to make sure that the body is healthy and well-groomed. It is worth taking care of it and accepting it as an integral part of yourself.

Don't shame yourself

Not the most best idea- scroll through all the failures in your head, each time telling yourself something like “I could / could have done differently”, “I ruined / ruined everything”, “I am weak / weak” and the like. Learning from mistakes is great, but that doesn't include self-flagellation. It does not bring anything good - on the contrary, it only destroys and takes away energy.

Don't be ashamed of yourself for low self-esteem. It won't get rid of her. No matter how paradoxical it may sound, a person needs to accept that while he still does not love himself. It happened due to some circumstances, but he intends to fight it. This means a willingness to be aware that he can make mistakes, indulge in despondency, but at the same time not reproach himself. Why create obstacles for themselves - there are enough people in the world who are ready to put a spoke in the wheel of others. The main goal is to love yourself and find harmony with your own body and thoughts, and not suffer from heavy thoughts and feelings of shame for any wrong step.

Self-esteem should not depend on the environment

There will always be those who like a person, and those who for some reason do not like him. Don't be addicted to praise or criticism. It is important to be able to listen to both, but to pass through the internal filter. It is not other people who decide how interesting their interlocutor is and how he looks today. Their opinion and self-perception are still different things. When a person learns to listen first of all to himself, and not to acquaintances / friends / relatives, and to understand what he likes about his own appearance and personality, it becomes much easier to live.

Don't compare yourself to other people

Perhaps this is the most important rule. Psychologists say that a person who does not love himself more often pays attention to best features other people by comparing them to your worst qualities. The result is deplorable - the attitude towards oneself becomes even worse, thoughts “I am worse than the rest”, “I am worthless”, “I am mediocrity” and others appear in my head, which clearly do not contribute to loving myself.

You should not compare yourself even with those who are far behind in some area. Better to focus on your life. It will not be superfluous to realize what exactly you want. Everyone deserves to take care of themselves, love themselves and live without regard to other people, without constant comparisons and worries about their imperfection. You can find some flaws in anyone, but this is just an indicator that he is a living person of flesh and blood.

It is worth understanding that the ideal does not exist, people with an impeccable figure, skin and facial features are only on the pages of glossy magazines, and the smartest on this planet also sometimes feel like fools. Objectively, all people are simply different from each other, there is no one better or worse.

Don't tell others about your shortcomings

If a person wants to turn the people around him against himself, then stories about how ugly, stupid and insecure he is is an excellent solution. However, it is unlikely that anyone aspires to this. By telling others about their shortcomings, people “program” the interlocutors for a certain attitude. People around believe the speaker; they are subconsciously convinced that a person knows themselves best. And if you talk only about the bad, then others will be sure that in reality everything is so, and you should not even get involved.

If you want, you should work on it, get rid of what you don’t like. But you don't have to turn others against yourself. At the same time, trying to please everyone is a failed undertaking. The old-fashioned advice about being yourself and acting simple and natural works.

Understand what you really want

This means forgetting what parents demanded or acquaintances imposed. If medicine is not attractive, then what is the point of graduating from an appropriate university and doing an unloved thing all your life? The same goes for hobbies. Even if someone laughs at the fact that a person in adulthood sculpts from plasticine, glues ship models and watches cartoons, you simply should not pay attention. The job is fun and that's the main thing. There is no need to chase fashion, to imitate someone, doing what makes you turn back. It is important to do everything to make you feel comfortable and interesting.

In fact, everyone already loves himself

People often don’t think about what actions are behind the “I can’t stand myself” thoughts. Despite this “dislike”, the majority continues to cook their own food, take care of themselves, choose suitable clothes (it is unlikely that anyone will go out in the cold in a thin jacket or in a fur coat in summer). People will not specifically watch films that they do not like, but will choose a movie to their liking. They try to see more often those who are attractive to them, and avoid unpleasant people. This is care, and it can be called one of the manifestations of love. If everyone already loves himself, then where does the thought of the opposite come from?

Each of us has a sea of ​​possibilities, plans and desires. You need to start by understanding how to love yourself. By accepting yourself, you are taking the first and already significant step towards making your life much better. Everyone in this world deserves to be loved and happy. And you are definitely no exception.

The topic is not new and remains one of the most relevant, probably since the eating of the forbidden fruit by Adam and Eve. It is impossible to get around this question if you want to change your life for the better. It is also impossible to become a reliable friend to yourself, to feel support in hard times when decisive and bold steps are required. Therefore, in this article I would like to give 7 main principles for gaining inner strength love that you are the source of.

Principle 1: Stop comparing yourself to others.

This principle has probably been in your mind for a long time, and stop doing it anyway.

Comparison is dangerous because it is still not given to a person to have everything that he wants at once or everything that others have. Our body, consciousness, abilities and possibilities have limits. Although we can develop ourselves, we cannot develop ourselves in everything.

There is a better alternative to comparisons - this is one simple question you can ask yourself every night before bed:

- Did I do everything that was in my power today? Did I do what I did to the best of my ability?

If the answer is:

Yes, everything was done in my power, and in the best way possible for me. - That's enough already! You are super! More is not required.

If the answer is:

- No, I could do it better ... - It's just a good excuse to learn from your mistakes and do something a little better next time.

Comparison in rare cases will somehow satisfy you. Rather, it will make you live a life that is not your own, strive not for your goals and dreams. Even comparing with yourself will not bring anything good.

Just ask yourself if your actions were the best today. This is the way in which you learn to accept yourself, to accept your present. The path that will eventually lead you to the desired changes.

For example, I don't always train for an hour. Sometimes I cut it down to half an hour. And this training for this time will be better than if it did not exist at all.

Principle 2. Actions aimed at self-love, or actions that speak of self-love.

This is especially true for women. For example, today you ate tasty and healthy, did not eat too much dessert, and went to bed on time. Yesterday we bought cosmetics for body care and arranged a home SPA. Signed up for an English course, bought a ticket with a better service, etc. These are all small acts of love. Be sure to start making and noticing them. Taking care of yourself is love.

Principle 3. Accept and love yourself at every moment.

This is one of the difficult principles. And from here follows another important point- love every part of your body.

If you are not in a good mood, or have done something wrong, understand this is not a reason not to love yourself. On the contrary, this is an occasion to give more support to the person closest to you - yourself. After all, who if not you will do it?

Love all your manifestations. You cannot control everything and predict everything. But it is in your power to give love and acceptance of yourself a little more today.

Principle 4. Ignite the light of love in your soul.

This is my favorite principle. He says that you do not need to wait for love to come to you. Love lives in you. You are love. The task is to turn on your love. It's really not difficult to do this. It's like turning on a light bulb, turning the switch on full power. Scientists have not in vain established that the energy of one person can illuminate entire cities. So why not turn on the light of love and start shining it on your life and the lives of loved ones?

To make it easier, I like the metaphor of small suns - Rays :). Send Radiant to those you love and then to those you don't. You'll see how fast you grow in your love.

Principle 5. Constantly stimulate interest in life

Life, I'm sure, has something more in store for us. Something we could only ever dream of. Because if we are here, life wants it for us. Wants us to be. And I know this because I often work with questions of "not wanting to live" or even prohibitions on happy life received from parents in childhood. It is important to remember all the time that love and passion for life is not something that your loved ones have chosen for you, or have not chosen. Life and its possibilities are much, much more than all this. It is important that you choose:

Believe in yourself the way your parents taught you?

Believe that life has something more in store for you?

It is very difficult to believe in good things. But I never cease to be convinced that life is for us. And even in the most difficult situations, everything goes for the good. Life itself wants us to make it big and beautiful.

Principle 6. Trust the God within you.

You just have to trust yourself and your decisions. For example:

- How much, what and when to eat? If you let your body tell you, it will do it for you. in the best possible way. And you will only eat foods that are good for you. And if some product in the end does not suit you, you simply refuse it. Trusting yourself, you will quickly realize that your body is very wise, and is able to support and take care of you out of love.

- What to feel, when and how? These are your manifestations to which you are entitled. Through feelings you express and live life.

- What do you think, what do you want to say, when and how?- you have a right to it. You have your own voice, your own opinion. There is a desire to speak when you feel like speaking. The desire to remain silent when you want to remain silent. But you definitely shouldn’t have a ban on expressing yourself in the form that suits you best: quietly, loudly, truthfully, at this very moment when speaking may not be very convenient, but this is your truth ...

Principle 7. Develop yourself. Become yourself, the best version of yourself (to achieve a high level of self-actualization of your abilities and talents). Be, not seem to be

It is not possible to say that you love yourself if you do not develop yourself.

Doing this is important in all areas of your life.

— Who do you want to be?

— Who do you want to become?

These questions are very important. And here I want to rely on the ideas of E. Fromm, which are revealed in the book "To have or to be." These are ideas - to be or to seem:

For example, to hold a position according to the form is to seem. To correspond to a high position in terms of content is to be.

Be loving wife(or loving husband) in words and actions is to be. To have a stamp in your passport and get a seeming peace of mind for the future, since at least you have already received a husband / wife - it seems. To do sports for health is to be. In order to please - to seem. And so on.

This question is not simple, since our psychology is more often directed towards having and seeming, rather than being, developing and creating. But this is important. If you understand this principle, you will learn to love yourself.

From myself I will add that it is easier to get a position, beautiful figure or a thing, etc., that is, to have a form. Although this may not be entirely easy, but here the question is precisely in the true motivation and orientation of a person - "to be someone or to seem."

I know how it seems, because I myself have been striving for this for a very long time, believing that this is happiness. But still - to be many times more profitable and better. To be strong and well versed in your business, to be a loving wife (husband), sister (brother), daughter (son), mother (father) ... An interesting personality… First of all, for myself.

Therefore, I wish you - be! Love!

The theme of love itself can be continued for a long time. Here are only its main principles, but not all.

The most important thing to pay attention to is that it is also important to take time for yourself and analyze your life. For example, write a biography, or start keeping a diary, and then return to what was written, and re-read, analyze. Since it is the experience of childhood and the past that in many ways interferes with accepting and loving yourself now.

It is necessary to accept the idea if you do not love yourself yet - you simply have not been taught this.

The main task is to learn to love yourself now, by studying and applying the principles of love in your life.. E.Fromm devoted his works to these principles in the book "The Art of Loving", G.Champel - "5 Love Languages", E.Bern "Games that people play", "People who play games", etc.

Analyze the past , in order to bring to the level of awareness of deep negative beliefs and attitudes towards oneself, loved ones, life ... To create a new free choice. After all, you are not obliged to live with installations and programs that are alien to you. You can recreate yourself and your internal programs. And so that it supports and increases love in your life (for yourself, loved ones, for your activities, etc.). It's not fast, but not at all difficult and the results are worth it.

I will be glad to your observations and additions in the comments.

Be loved and happy!

Create your world now!

In contact with

Do yourself a favor, take a deep breath, and with today do something that will help you break out of the veil of restrictions, and live a truly brilliant life!

Hey you! Do you know that you are a special person? There is no other like it in the whole world. And you deserve to be loved not only by those people who are close to you, but also by the most important person in your life - you yourself! Unfortunately, we don't always feel like we're worthy of love at all, especially when we're in trouble. No, you should not become a narcissistic egoist, not at all - you just need to remember about yourself, your well-being and your own happiness. You should love yourself at least in order to break out of the veil of limitations, and live a truly brilliant life.

So do yourself a favor, take a deep breath, and from today on, do this:

1. Start each day by saying something positive to yourself. For example, how well you are doing at work, how wonderful you look today - in general, anything that can make you smile.
2. Eat something that not only satisfies hunger, but also fills you with energy.
3. Do sports every day and sooner or later you will love that magnificent body in which you were born.
4. Don't believe everything you think. Inside each of us sits an inner critic trying to keep you out of trouble. Only now he saves us not only from trouble, but also from all the good that could happen to you.
5. Surround yourself with people who love and inspire you. Let them remind you what a wonderful person you are.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others. There is no second person like you on the whole planet, and therefore how can you compare you with someone else. Only person with whom you can compare - you yourself.
7. Let go of any toxic personal relationships. I'm serious. Any person who makes you feel less than wonderful simply doesn't deserve the honor of being a part of your life.
8. Celebrate your victories, no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.
9. Break out of your comfort zone and experience something new. The feeling that we experience when we try something new, or reach heights never seen before, is incomparable.
10. Accept and love what makes you different. That is what makes you special.
11. Understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't let all those photoshopped photos in glossy magazines convince you that your body is imperfect. Even those models that are on them, in real life look completely different.
12. Try to remain calm in any situation. Take a deep breath and exhale, clear your mind of unnecessary things, and just be yourself.
13. Follow your passion. You know your passion is the very thing that attracts and scares you at the same time. Something you really want to do, but you convince yourself that you won't succeed. Follow her!
14. Be patient but persistent. Loving yourself means constantly growing above yourself. This is something that needs to be practiced every day, but sometimes life is not enough to master it. So be kind to yourself, and support in difficult times.
15. Try to be aware of what you think, feel, and what you want. Live your life in accordance with all this.
16. Treat others with love and respect. The good old truth is treat others the way you want them to treat you. Of course, this does not mean that everyone will pay you kindly for kindness, but that is their problem, not yours.
17. Find something every day to be grateful for. You will inevitably have your ups and downs. It's normal and very human. It is during the days of falling that it can be very important for you to find something for which you can be grateful even on this rainy day. This will help your mind find a way to resolve the issues that are weighing on them.
18. When you're in trouble, talk to your family friends, a teacher - in general, with any person who can help you survive them. You don't have to do this alone.
19. Learn to say no. It won't make you a bad person but it will make you smarter.
20. Forgive yourself. Are you still ashamed of those few actions? It's time to let him go. You can't change what happened in the past, but you can control your future. Rather, treat what happened as a chance to learn something, and believe that you can change.
21. Write down your thoughts. So many thoughts are spinning in your head that you don't know which one to grab onto? Write them down on paper - no matter how crazy, angry, sad or scary they seem to you. And then put that piece of paper in a magazine, burn it... well, do whatever you can to get rid of them.
22. Shut off the world and look within yourself. Pour yourself a cup of your favorite tea, coffee, wine, or whatever you drink, and sit quietly by yourself. No TV or other distractions, just you. Think about all the wonderful things that are happening in your life right now, about your dream, and how to achieve it.
23. Forget about craving approval from other people."You can be the ripest and juiciest peach in the world, but there will still be someone who hates peaches" - Dita Von Teese
24. Be realistic. There is no one on earth who was happy every moment of every day of his life. Why? Yes, because we are all human. We make mistakes, we feel emotions (both good and bad), and that's okay. Allow yourself to be human.
25. Be creative and express yourself in any way you can. Draw, write, sculpt, build, make music, in a word, what you like - and leave your inner critic at the door. There are a million and one ways to express yourself - choose the one that suits you best.
26. Leave behind the traumas and wounds of the past. This can be tricky - if you can, reach out to those who can help you. But after you drop this burden from your shoulders, it will seem to you that you weigh no more than a feather. We don't have to carry all this with us. We deserve more.
27. Find a place where you feel good. Where is the place where you can feel calm, quiet, happy, positive, intoxicated with life? And when hard times come for you - go there, or imagine yourself there. Imagine how you feel there, what you feel, what it is like.
28. The next time you feel happy and on top of the world, make a list of your best qualities and achievements. Yes, it may seem self-admiring, but this list can pretty much cheer you up on other days.
29. Listen to your inner dialogue. And if he turns out to be unloving, encouraging and supportive, it's time for a change. You should talk about yourself the same way you would talk about best friend, sister, brother or son.
30. Have fun! Do something that you enjoy very much. Enjoy it, enjoy being you, and enjoy your incredible life.